The Courtship of Jessa Duggar - Part 2

[MamaMia02]

Jim Bob and Michelle appeared on HuffPost Live this morning.

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/segmen ... 6f210001aa

Jessa actually appeared with them and I'm assuming they were going to talk about her courtship but unfortunately they lost the connection while Michelle was answering the previous question before the host could ask about her courtship. Bummer...I was really curious what they would say.

[ILoveJellybeans]

At least this time people paid attention to Jessa and not just asked Michelle and Jimbob about Jessa. Its a shame she never actually got to speak though, but at least someone noticed she is a person.

[pega127]

At least this time people paid attention to Jessa and not just asked Michelle and Jimbob about Jessa. Its a shame she never actually got to speak though, but at least someone noticed she is a person.

...until the feed was "lost".

[sunshine]

...until the feed was "lost".

They want to save some nfo for the show and the boo. :lol: Or, leave them panting for more. :dance:

[formergothardite]

Poor Jessa. Her moment to shine and it got cut off. :cry: Think they are engaged yet?

This thread reminded me of my most favorite librarian who is not only the most awesome person in the world, she would also renew my library books for me when she saw I hadn't returned them and since she has retired I struggle to not go to jail over unpaid library fines. :lol: She told me once that in her 30's she dated this guy who was very nice and wanted to marry her, but she just didn't love him and there were just little things about him that drove her insane. Her mother told her that she was not pretty, she was getting old and she needed to settle for whoever would take her. She still wouldn't marry the guy and went on to have a very happy life as a single person. But her mother up to the day she died would not stop going on about how she should have just married that guy and gotten used to him. She said she never regretted not marrying him because in a couple of years they both would have hated each other. Settling, it isn't that great of an idea because you end up feeling like you settled and there is someone else better out there.

[albanuadh_1]

I think the feed was cut off on purpose in order to keep us in suspense. lol. And... who knew that Michelle is afraid of heights? Gee, I don't recall that when she parachuted from an airplane.

[formergothardite]

I wonder how they would handle a broken courtship or engagement. Especially one like the Maxwell one where it was days before the wedding. They have made such a big deal that their way prevents hurt and stops people from giving away a part of their heart so, even though I would not wish that sort of public pain on Jessa it would be interesting to see how they would explain it.

[Mela99]

I wonder how they would handle a broken courtship or engagement. Especially one like the Maxwell one where it was days before the wedding. They have made such a big deal that their way prevents hurt and stops people from giving away a part of their heart so, even though I would not wish that sort of public pain on Jessa it would be interesting to see how they would explain it.

Honestly? I don't think they would let her. I really don't. I think the only reason Liz Munck got away was because she WASN'T a Maxwell/Duggar.

I think they'd tell her to pray about it and Jesus would fix it.

[formergothardite]

Oh, I'm sure they would never let her break it off and I'm sure that the guy they picked is so controlled by Jim Bob that they are pretty confident he won't, but it would be interesting to watch how they dealt with it if the guy broke the courtship/engagement. They would have to work hard to spin it into not being a failure with Jessa having given away a piece of her heart and ending up with emotional baggage.

Has there been a guy who has broken off an courtship? It seems like it is usually the women who do it.

[IReallyAmHopewell]

I wonder how they would handle a broken courtship or engagement. Especially one like the Maxwell one where it was days before the wedding. They have made such a big deal that their way prevents hurt and stops people from giving away a part of their heart so, even though I would not wish that sort of public pain on Jessa it would be interesting to see how they would explain it.

It's my understanding that the girl CAN (in theory) back out but once the guy has proposed he's given his "word" and cannot go back (unless maybe a past sexual relationship comes to light??? not sure). And, you KNOW Jessa will not disobey her father and say "I want out." After all, she's now the best new story line on the show and they want the money so they don't have to go back to homemade panda jumpers and rubber farm boos and 20 year old cars!

[singsingsing]

I'm not so sure. I can't see them forcing one of their children to go through with a marriage if they wanted out. I also think they would milk a broken courtship or engagement for all the drama it was worth. They wouldn't be happy about it, but they'd do their best to spin it to their own advantage.

[JellyHope]

I had a friend in college who broke up with her boyfriend because he would get an erection during heavy make-out sessions. (She was raised fundie lite. This was the furthest she had gone at that point. I, however, had gone a bit further.) Anyway, it took me a few conversations to figure out what the problem was. She thought he was doing it on purpose, like as if to pressure her to do more. She had no idea that this was a normal physical response that he most likely had no control over. Guess her homeschool curriculum didn't include sex ed.

[JellyHope]

Argh. That was supposed to include a much earlier quote, back from the discussion of going straight from hand sex to 'biblical' sex in a matter of hours. Sorry.

[JellyHope]

No idea about the lace issue. But I know that there are fundy colleges where women are not allowed to wear pajama pants even in the women's dorms. Some allow them in the dorms but only after certain hours and they can be punished for being seen out in them. There is a much talked about around the web policy that girls cannot come out in a late night fire drill in pajama pants at Pensacola Christian College. They are expected to put on a skirt first.

And there are families where girls are restricted in what they can wear around their brothers lest they "defraud" them. And that goes far beyond usual family standards.

I went to what you could call a fundy-lite summer camp. A zillion rules, of course, but 1 of the stupidest that I remember, were the pajama restrictions. We weren't allowed to sleep in tank tops, or without bottoms (ie a t-shirt and undies.) The fear was, what if there was a fire?! Then dear lord oh my gosh, a male might see our shoulders or, gasp,upper thighs.

[JellyHope]

What the every loving fuck are you going on about. Common in the "girl's world"? :angry-banghead: "Conscious of this flaw that is in every woman" :angry-banghead: "Flaw in modern dating" :cray-cray:

The first guy I dated seemed like the ideal person but after time I realize that all the things I thought I really wanted in a guy wasn't really what I wanted. It isn't a flaw to break up with a person you thought would be a good fit after realizing that you really want something different. The flaw is thinking that you HAVE to marry this and all their flaws even though you don't really want to.

Geez, Sunshine. It's not about looking for someone who's "better." It's about learning more about yourself and what's right for you. It's about growing personally and emotionally and spiritually. We, in the "girls' world", don't date multiple boys because we're looking for someone better. We're looking for someone that's "right" for us. If I married the first guy I had wedding dreams about, I'd be a very unhappy person. I didn't NOT marry him because I was looking for someone better. He wasn't right for me, and I, equally, wasn't right for him.

Mr. Hope drives me nuts sometimes! But we are definitely a match made in heaven. :D I'm glad I dated around so that when I got to him, I knew he was the 1.

[fullmetalheart]

One of my best friends in high school was the "marrying Jesus" type, to the point it went like this: "Guess what?" "What?" "I'm engaged!" "TO WHO!?" "JESUS!!!" It was so bad that I didn't believe her when she told me she got engaged.

I grew up at the height of the purity ring craze, to the point I wrote a poem about true love waiting (it is so bad I want it to disappear forever). I know couples who have exchanged their rings at the wedding. That said, the whole "no physical contact thing" is even in the handbook at Bob Jones University and I find it downright wrong. I'm not a touchy feely person, but I'm not going to rot because I give a boyfriend a hug.

[salex]

No idea about the lace issue. But I know that there are fundy colleges where women are not allowed to wear pajama pants even in the women's dorms. Some allow them in the dorms but only after certain hours and they can be punished for being seen out in them. There is a much talked about around the web policy that girls cannot come out in a late night fire drill in pajama pants at Pensacola Christian College. They are expected to put on a skirt first.

And there are families where girls are restricted in what they can wear around their brothers lest they "defraud" them. And that goes far beyond usual family standards.

I went to what you could call a fundy-lite summer camp. A zillion rules, of course, but 1 of the stupidest that I remember, were the pajama restrictions. We weren't allowed to sleep in tank tops, or without bottoms (ie a t-shirt and undies.) The fear was, what if there was a fire?! Then dear lord oh my gosh, a male might see our shoulders or, gasp,upper thighs.

[Justme]

Has anybody heard any updates? Are they still "courting"? Is Ben part of this latest Duggar political "tour"?

[fullmetalheart]

Jim Bob (who scares the crap out of me after a nightmare I had about him, dare I share?) said that one of his girls had a big announcement on the next show. I'm guessing that's the update.

[nellautumngirl]

Share it :) A nightmare about Jim Bob sounds horrible. Thankfully, the only dream I ever had about the Duggars just consisted of me running off with Jordyn and Josie.

[Mela99]

Has anybody heard any updates? Are they still "courting"? Is Ben part of this latest Duggar political "tour"?

Pure speculation here, but my money is still on them already being engaged and being trotted out for a season finale VSE.

Or maybe they'll be total dicks and have Ben propose at Erin or Zack's wedding. That'd sure show the Bates!

[Tangy Bee]

I'm still shocked JB would choose a dude whose only 18. I heard he has his own business but I just don't believe it's enough income to support a lot of babies. I was so sure he would pick a guy with a house already paid for and enough income to not have to struggle financially. The Duggars have been ALL over the world and mingled with some pretty popular conservatives. They have had years of interaction with ATI and Vision Forum crowds. So...this is the dude he thinks is BEST for his 20 year-old daughter?? So what's SO special about him. Oh I forgot about the "ministry" part. JB said something about Ben being the guy who he felt would minister properly. WTF? He's ONLY 18! Is he serious? Sorry folks, but I'm not feeling too positive about this courtship.

Oh, I'm not dissing ALL 18 year-olds. Some are actually mature and have their act together. But in a fundie world...18 year-olds are treated like they are 30. It just appears their lives are so rushed.

[singsingsing]

Well, JB got married when he was about that age and I don't think he's progressed very far in maturity since then but he seems pretty pleased with himself, so that might be your explanation.

[Tangy Bee]

Yeah, but they didn't start having babies right away because Michelle was on the pill. Jessa has been taught ALL her life that the "pill" was a mistake. So she will surely be popping out babies very soon and I just don't think Ben is financially prepared for that. Just feel like JB has overlooked some VERY important issues.

[singsingsing]

Yeah, but they didn't start having babies right away because Michelle was on the pill. Jessa has been taught ALL her life that the "pill" was a mistake. So she will surely be popping out babies very soon and I just don't think Ben is financially prepared for that. Just feel like JB has overlooked some VERY important issues.

That's JB in a nutshell! :lol: He probably thinks it would've been absolutely grand if he and Michelle had gotten started right away instead of waiting a few years. It would not surprise me if he sees a lot of himself in Ben, and therefore thinks that Jessa couldn't possibly do any better!