The Courtship of Jessa Duggar - Part 2

[Justme]

I would prefer she visits Lori & Monty in Atlanta. Then the sisters can pick the bridesmaid dresses on the other show.

[HOTW]

The who;e reason Gothard encourages the families to "drop in" on each other is to allow the kids of marriagable age to check each other out- if there is an interest on both parts they proceed from there. Got to try to keep them from marrying out of the whole movement ya know! I think it was the whole reason the Bates first showed up at the Duggars, because they admitted they hadn't seen each other for years before then, however they had several kids that were compatible age wise for courtship. If you nitice a lot of the visits there are older kids in the families, and with the Bontrager visit you could tell JB didn't really know them at all because they all had such an issue with the name!

[Handmaiden of Dog]

I was quite taken with my first boyfriend too.

And thank Christ I didn't marry him.

This is what horrifies me. We've all done this right? We had crushes and fell in love and were swooning over someone long before we knew what we wanted in a man, and fortunately we didn't run off with the first guy we were in love with at age 15. Jessa is very much like a 15 year old because she has been so sheltered. By the time I was her age I had had at least 4 long term boyfriends-- all of them learning experiences but she has never had the benefit of finding someone overwhelmingly attractive, dating them for a year or so, and then discovering that actually their personality or outlook on life is not a good fit. My daughter had a great "starter boyfriend" at age 16 but by 18 she had broken up with him because even though he was smart and cute and very attentive, she decided she wanted someone who had more ambition. Jessa will never have the chance to see if Ben is a good fit and has the right chemistry and that makes me very sad for her. You can both love God but that doesn't ensure you will make each other happy.

[singsingsing]

It's not necessary to have multiple boyfriends before choosing your husband. It IS necessary to have the freedom, confidence, and security to not only truly get to know the person you're considering a lifelong commitment to, but to truly get to know yourself. He might quote all the right Bible verses and say all the right things to your dad - and hey, maybe he would make an excellent husband for someone - but that someone isn't necessarily you.

I hope for Jessa's sake that, if she does end up marrying this guy, it is a marriage of genuine affection and compatibility, that they treat each other well, and have the maturity to communicate effectively and resolve conflicts without being burdened by fear and shame. And if this courtship doesn't work out, I hope that she views it as a positive learning experience, and not a black mark on her record.

[nokidsmom]

This is what horrifies me. We've all done this right? We had crushes and fell in love and were swooning over someone long before we knew what we wanted in a man, and fortunately we didn't run off with the first guy we were in love with at age 15. Jessa is very much like a 15 year old because she has been so sheltered. By the time I was her age I had had at least 4 long term boyfriends-- all of them learning experiences but she has never had the benefit of finding someone overwhelmingly attractive, dating them for a year or so, and then discovering that actually their personality or outlook on life is not a good fit. My daughter had a great "starter boyfriend" at age 16 but by 18 she had broken up with him because even though he was smart and cute and very attentive, she decided she wanted someone who had more ambition. Jessa will never have the chance to see if Ben is a good fit and has the right chemistry and that makes me very sad for her. You can both love God but that doesn't ensure you will make each other happy.

This concerns me too. She's not any chance to really see for herself if this is a good fit, but to be fair, she wouldn't be allowed to. The emphasis on having that "one and only" without being allowed any learning experiences to compare really does raise the risks of the marriage being unhappy and unfulfilling.

And one thing, just because a guy is a great boyfriend doesn't mean that he's going to be a great husband. My first bf was great as a bf but when it came to thinking about marrying the guy I wasn't so sure and took a pass. I really, really liked him and would have liked to see it work in some respects but there were some things that concerned me. It wasn't anything earth shaking - just some of his outlook on life and some attitudes that were counter to mine that didn't cause issues in a bf/gr relationship but would have in a marriage situation. I was glad for the experience because it helped to me narrow down what I was really looking for in a marriage / committed relationship but Jessa is not allowed to determine these things for herself.

[sunshine]

I don't know what sort of a selection they have, but I do remember an episode of Say Yes to The Dress with a Jewish bride, and her dress had sleeves just below the elbow, and a shallow neckline. It was actually really pretty.

And I'm very confused by the website (I think you need an account to look at bigger pictures), but they do have some dresses with lacy long sleeves. kleinfeldbridal.com/index.cfm?pid=51&clearpreviouscriteria=true

I am sure that the Duggars are not going to pay for a dress that is at least 3 grand. It would be better to find the cheapest dress and add to it. This would explain why they never revealed their price point on the show. Before, you could get a dress below $2000; not anymore.

[Coconut Flan]

it helped to me narrow down what I was really looking for in a marriage / committed relationship but Jessa is not allowed to determine these things for herself.

That's a really scary point about Jim Bob's approach. He and Michelle seem to tell their children what is important in a potential mate without realizing or considering that it won't be the same for all 19 of them and may not be what he thinks it is for any of them.

[RosyDaisy]

The who;e reason Gothard encourages the families to "drop in" on each other is to allow the kids of marriagable age to check each other out- if there is an interest on both parts they proceed from there. Got to try to keep them from marrying out of the whole movement ya know! I think it was the whole reason the Bates first showed up at the Duggars, because they admitted they hadn't seen each other for years before then, however they had several kids that were compatible age wise for courtship. If you nitice a lot of the visits there are older kids in the families, and with the Bontrager visit you could tell JB didn't really know them at all because they all had such an issue with the name!

Hmmm....I think I have just changed my mind on a Duggar/Bates marriage. Not only do I believe it's possible, but a foregone conclusion and possibly multiple Duggar/Bates marriages.

[sunshine]

This is what horrifies me. We've all done this right? We had crushes and fell in love and were swooning over someone long before we knew what we wanted in a man, and fortunately we didn't run off with the first guy we were in love with at age 15. Jessa is very much like a 15 year old because she has been so sheltered. By the time I was her age I had had at least 4 long term boyfriends-- all of them learning experiences but she has never had the benefit of finding someone overwhelmingly attractive, dating them for a year or so, and then discovering that actually their personality or outlook on life is not a good fit. My daughter had a great "starter boyfriend" at age 16 but by 18 she had broken up with him because even though he was smart and cute and very attentive, she decided she wanted someone who had more ambition. Jessa will never have the chance to see if Ben is a good fit and has the right chemistry and that makes me very sad for her. You can both love God but that doesn't ensure you will make each other happy.

(This is not an attack.)

This common in the girls world. We get a person who has all the qualities but in the back of our mind, we think there is someone who is better than this. This is the flaw with modern dating. The one we are with is not good enough, so chase the 20% thinking that someone out there is better. Hopefully, Jessa is conscious of this flaw that is in every woman. There are no perfect men, but we find a person who is right for us and we can deal with whatever flaw that possess and still love them unconditionally.

[Kira]

(This is not an attack.)

This common in the girls world. We get a person who has all the qualities but in the back of our mind, we think there is someone who is better than this. This is the flaw with modern dating. The one we are with is not good enough, so chase the 20% thinking that someone out there is better. Hopefully, Jessa is conscious of this flaw that is in every woman. There are no perfect men, but we find a person who is right for us and we can deal with whatever flaw that possess and still love them unconditionally.

All I can say is :roll: and :popcorn2:

[Coconut Flan]

There are days I think we need a thumbs down button. :popcorn2:

[sun_shiine64]

So it looks like they are already engaged ! A Duggar wedding by the end of 2013 ?

October 15 : "Engaging Announcement!" Jessa announces her engagement and courtship to a Ben Seewald

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_19 ... g_episodes

[Diana]

All I can say is :roll: and :popcorn2:

i'm confused.. :? is that sunshine the sunshinemary that you are always talking about? :o

[singsingsing]

So it looks like they are already engaged ! A Duggar wedding by the end of 2013 ?

October 15 : "Engaging Announcement!" Jessa announces her engagement and courtship to a Ben Seewald

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_19 ... g_episodes

I saw that a couple days ago. When I followed the link to the source, there was no episode description. So, I think this is a case of an overzealous fan jumping to conclusions. I'm pretty sure that episode will feature Erin Bates's engagement.

[Kira]

i'm confused.. :? is that sunshine the sunshinemary that you are always talking about? :o

I don't follow sunshinemary, but I don't think they're the same person.

So it looks like they are already engaged ! A Duggar wedding by the end of 2013 ?

October 15 : "Engaging Announcement!" Jessa announces her engagement and courtship to a Ben Seewald

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_19 ... g_episodes

Whoa! I guess we'll see the wedding soon.

ETA: The episode description could be wrong.

[pega127]

Nothing like Jim Bob pimping out his daughter to marry a barely 18 year old guy to upstage the Erin and Chad! Tke a close look at their photo-her eyes do not say "I am so in love with this "boy"!" Wedding may have already, sadly, occurred.

[ILoveJellybeans]

That just makes me even sadder. I hoped they would be having a really long courtship. Theyre nowhere near ready for marriage, Ben is only 18, and Jessa is only 20 and pretty immature for her age.

I dont think the wedding has occurred yet, as Ben's relatives wouldnt have called her his girlfriend, they would have said wife. Also it sounds like Ben talks to Jessa on the phone and stuff, from his tweets, and if they were married they would be living together.

[singsingsing]

I think the engagement (if it happens) will be saved for the season finale. Remember, they still have two Bates engagements to fill up air time. They haven't even discussed Jessa's courtship on the show yet. They're going to milk that for all it's worth.

[alysee]

I predict a Spring wedding. November they announce they are courting on the show, January they will announce the engagement and they will be married by April or May.

Edit: adding clarification

[singsingsing]

And then by this time next year she'll be pregnant.

And the Duggar vs. Bates race to procreate will truly be in full swing. :P

[alysee]

And then by this time next year she'll be pregnant.

And the Duggar vs. Bates race to procreate will truly be in full swing. :P

So far we have 1 marriage with 3 grand kids and a courtship and by next year this time we could have 2 marriages and 4 and almost 5 grand kids(Anna and Jessa).

For the bates next year at this time they could have 3 weddings and 3 grand kids.

So who's on top? (ewwww sorry)

[Handmaiden of Dog]

(This is not an attack.)

This common in the girls world. We get a person who has all the qualities but in the back of our mind, we think there is someone who is better than this. This is the flaw with modern dating. The one we are with is not good enough, so chase the 20% thinking that someone out there is better. Hopefully, Jessa is conscious of this flaw that is in every woman. There are no perfect men, but we find a person who is right for us and we can deal with whatever flaw that possess and still love them unconditionally.

That is an extremely broad statement. I don't think this is a flaw in modern dating because it is ludicrous to settle for someone who is not good enough just so you can get married. I think people who settle for second best usually end up regretting their choices. Why not start off with a perfect fit? Marriage is difficult enough as it is.

In my daughter's case she realized it was time to break things off when they both started college and he had to be nagged into doing his homework and he didn't have any dreams or plans for his future. In the end she felt like she was "babysitting" him.

In my own case should I have married the gorgeous, fun guy who only wanted to surf? Should I have settled for the actor who would probably always be dirt-poor? The life-of-the-party who drank a little too much? The serious executive with the scary temper?

[ukool23]

Im twitter stalking ben and saw this 'When someone who means everything to you has a heavy burden to bear and you wish with all your heart you could step in and bear it for her.'

Dont know if its been posted on here before, or if its about Jessa but its from the 10th sep. Anyone any ideas?

[marmalade]

That tweet has been seen and dissected. Conclusion is that it's too vague to necessarily pertain to Jessa, although it's unlikely, given his prior tweets, that it's about his sisters; he's never tweeted much beyond BECAUSE JESUS and workout stuff.

[BirthingGodsWarriors]

So far we have 1 marriage with 3 grand kids and a courtship and by next year this time we could have 2 marriages and 4 and almost 5 grand kids(Anna and Jessa).

For the bates next year at this time they could have 3 weddings and 3 grand kids.

So who's on top? (ewwww sorry)

Hahahaha dont need the :brain-bleach: for that one as they are all WAY hotter than Smugs and Anna.

Moving on, I want to pose a theory (please speculate on it). What if Boob told (or omitted to tell) Ben that it was ok to post the pic of him and Jessa to FB? Then they put out that interview announcing the courtship that WOW coincided with the new season starting... I think Boob orchestrated the whole thing in an attempt to get more viewers. I mean, they have to know that the ratings for the last few seasons have been tanking. Thoughts?

Sorry if this is a bit incoherent, its been a LONG week and the libations have begun in ernest.