Close Encounters of the Fundie Kind

[itsnotmeitsu]

We had to go to 7-11, and there was a Honda Civic that the owner had painted iwth all sorts of fire and brimstone messages. I mean it was covered. My brother's Jeep is covered with "fun" bumper stickers. So he was delighted to park so they could read his "Sex, drugs and Christian rock" bumper sticker, along with his other, more interesting ones.

[LittleOleMe]

Suffice it to say I was heartbroken. "Should homosexuals live a life of celibacy? Yes. Will it be difficult? Yes. Is it what God wants? Yes."

Stupid, I wanted to growl, it's "chastity," not "celibacy." Celibacy means living alone. Chastity means living without sexual intercourse.

Celibacy is living without sex. It can also mean being single, but it's commonly used to mean without sex. Both are correct. Your family member may be a crazy psycho bible thumper, but s/he was using the correct term there.

[elsabee]

Oh, that's so sad. That's just the worst. I'm sorry. It sucks that there's pretty much nothing you can do to help people to be more tolerant.

A close encounter .... with family.

I can't give many details because it would be fairly easy for those in the community to identify this person.

Suffice it to say I was heartbroken. "Should homosexuals live a life of celibacy? Yes. Will it be difficult? Yes. Is it what God wants? Yes."

Stupid, I wanted to growl, it's "chastity," not "celibacy." Celibacy means living alone. Chastity means living without sexual intercourse.

"God hates divorce! God doesn't hate many things, but He hates divorce!"

All that said in the presence of someone we both dearly love, who is now married but that's after, yes ma'am, a divorce. Shut up, I wanted to say very clearly.

And since my relative insisted on giving the pre-meal prayer, a half-minute extravaganza complete with several reps of "Father, we just ...." and "Bless us here in Your covenantal goodness....." before we left, I offered to say an ending prayer. And in 8 seconds or less (not that I was timing it then, but I just did), I said, "In gratefulness for your Son, our Savior, and for bringing us together tonight, we pray, o give thanks unto the Lord, for He is good, and His mercy endureth forever, Amen." The tried-&-true Lutheran table prayer, usually said after we'd consumed mass quantities and before we all got up and cleared away the dishes.

That wasn't enough for my relative. "Ah yes!" said in a nice, loud, hear-it-at-the-next-table voice. "And I know the melody to that, too! A fine song. Straight from the Bible."

Because, you know, I'm not ordained, so it wasn't really enough that mere me spoke a blessingI And it wasn't "from my heart," which is much to be preferred as prayers go, because, y'know, to just repeat something from the Bible is, well, not from your heart.

The Lord's Prayer notwithstanding.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I comfort myself that this person is now extreme, it's coupled with living a sane and sober life ... along with being ... extreme.

Also that we all won't be getting together for another year, unless somebody dies. And as I'm the oldest, it's most likely to be my memorial, and if so, I won't be there, will I?!!!!! :shifty:

And le sigh. Also, ETA, not to be tacky, but this relative isn't Lutheran and never was. I just gotta protect the rep of the ole home team. :whistle:

[mockingbird]

Oh MamaJunebug, I'm sorry you have to deal with family like that.

There was this lady at my church growing up, and for some reason I always wondered if she was lesbian but was choosing to stay single because she believed it was a sin to be gay, like your family member suggested. It always made me a little sad. I'm sure if you really believed that it would be a hard road (having to give up the potential for a great relationship, or having to challenge your faith). I don't want to be presumptuous about her sexuality now as an adult, but I do hope she is happy.

[jerichojones]

Oh MamaJunebug, I'm sorry you have to deal with family like that.

There was this lady at my church growing up, and for some reason I always wondered if she was lesbian but was choosing to stay single because she believed it was a sin to be gay, like your family member suggested. It always made me a little sad. I'm sure if you really believed that it would be a hard road (having to give up the potential for a great relationship, or having to challenge your faith). I don't want to be presumptuous about her sexuality now as an adult, but I do hope she is happy.

I have an aunt who was a catholic nun until recently and she's almost definitely gay. It's what pretty much everyone in the family believes, but I'm not sure she'll ever be open about it at this point in her life. It is kind of sad, but she's always been very fulfilled and she has a family with little grandchildren from a foster daughter and she does always seem happy, but you can't help but wonder sometimes

[MamaJunebug]

Celibacy is living without sex. It can also mean being single, but it's commonly used to mean without sex. Both are correct. Your family member may be a crazy psycho bible thumper, but s/he was using the correct term there.

Cold comfort, but thanks, Little Ole Me. And welcome to the fray!

So what is the mania for referring to the little woman as "my bride"? I was too busy holding my tongue about their gay-related comments to ask if she now calls him "her groom." I can't help it - every time I think of "my groom" I think of one of those inane pieces of yard art with the guy holding out a ring for the horse's reins.

[MamaJunebug]

I have an aunt who was a catholic nun until recently and she's almost definitely gay. It's what pretty much everyone in the family believes, but I'm not sure she'll ever be open about it at this point in her life. It is kind of sad, but she's always been very fulfilled and she has a family with little grandchildren from a foster daughter and she does always seem happy, but you can't help but wonder sometimes

Gay, or either one of them could be asexual. I had an aunt who had no interest in men, nor women. She lived a happy and full life, traveled, supported her folks, doted on us nieces & nephews ... I remember one time she embarrassed her siblings to death. She must've had some sexual feelings waaaay late in life, her 50s or 60s. She said loudly, "It's awful! My breasts are itching, and inside my thighs! I've never had such an aggravation!" God love her! It was probably the only time she felt stimulated, and by gum, she found it to be, well, an aggravation!!! :wink-penguin: Tell it like it was, Aunty! :clap:

[MamaJunebug]

Coming back for one more comment/sharing.

I do have to give it to my relatives, that when they began discussing Ephesians 5*, they - he especially - noted that THREE TIMES, Paul tells husbands to love their wives sacrificially, as Christ loves the church! And that Paul simply tells wives to respect their husbands. They were adamant that the man got three times the talking-to as did the woman, from dear St. Paul.

As I have heard my own Lutheran pastor do the predictable Eph.5:22-24 (woman, submit!!!) sermon two times, but somehow that ole boy's never gotten to verses 25-33. My relatives DID. Good on them for that part, anyway.

*I tried to talk about myself, my The Spousal Unit, my junior junebugs. They listened politely, faces blank. Gave indication that they had heard and comprehended my stories. Didn't ask one question to further the conversation but they did murmur "Well, that's nice" when I talked about weddings and such.

Well, this year at least I got SOME talking in! Next year - should I live so long - I'm gonna be prepared with ... I don't know what. Anybody have any ideas? I'm thinking, photos, in an album, and including the gay couples in our circle.

Even my TSU kinda-sorta tried to challenge them on gay = bad, but he's a wuss, goes with the loudest people in the room.

[lawlifelgbt]

My dad and I went to the tip of Wisconsin for the weekend. On the way, we always stop at a meat/deli type store, that's been in the town for 70 years or so. We always do because the meat is so good that the owner has won awards for his meats in Germany (no small feat, I can tell you from the high quality and diversity of meat/sausage in Germany), while having a local twist (e.g. salami with local cheese and cranberries).

Anyway, we go to check out. The cashier looked like she might have been 18, if that. She was really quite pretty, and her long hair was under a covering (not full, round cloth patch towards the back of the hair). Full-length skirt. It was 87 degrees out, but because of all the coolers and freezers around, modesty probably wasn't uncomfortable once she was inside at work. I'm guessing probably Mennonite.

But she looked kind of sad- like Jana does a lot now- even though she was smiling, like you're meant to do for customers. So I smiled back, and said "I better not let the dog get into these! She loves [type of sausage we'd bought] and likes to lean way over from the back seat and try to steal whatever you're eating. CHOMP!" Stupid, I know, but she seemed to lighten up a bit and said she had a dog, too.

[Hane]

Ohhh, MamaJ. That's one of my pet peeves, too: "chastity" and "celibacy" ARE NOT THE SAME THING.

Went to opening night of the local community theater's The Sound of Music, where my daughter played Maria. As I mentioned elsewhere, the guy playing the Captain is Born Again[tm][/tm] and refused to do any stage kisses (either out of personal conviction or his wife's request). He no longer giggled like a 12-year-old girl with a crush whenever he made eye contact with Maria or the Baroness (both very attractive young women). His performance overall and singing voice were quite good, but his "purity" made him treat the Baroness like a minor household annoyance rather than a sizzling hot mama he was engaged to. And he showed a lot more affection for Maria when she wasn't actually onstage. The kissless proposal scene came across as "she's OK with the kids, so I might as well marry her" and the kissless wedding scene might as well have been a First Communion with excellent singing nuns.

[mockingbird]

So this isn't really truly about fundies (I don't think!) but it reminded me of the fundy wedding dress alterations fiascos. A friend of many of my friends in college converted to Islam and is engaged to a Muslim man. They just got married today apparently as one of our mutual friends posted a picture of the wedding. Normally, she doesn't observe any of the modesty rules or wear a headscarf, but for her wedding it seems like she wanted to be a little more conservative. Unfortunately this worked out to be an ivory dress with a white turtleneck :? If you're not going to buy an already-long-sleeved dress (hasn't anybody heard of lace sleeves?!), can't you at least find a shirt that is the same color as your dress? I realize this is really petty, but the obviously/poorly altered modest dresses drive me crazy. There are plenty of modest wedding dresses out there, and there's also the option of a shawl or bolero.

[Coco]

So this isn't really truly about fundies (I don't think!) but it reminded me of the fundy wedding dress alterations fiascos. A friend of many of my friends in college converted to Islam and is engaged to a Muslim man. They just got married today apparently as one of our mutual friends posted a picture of the wedding. Normally, she doesn't observe any of the modesty rules or wear a headscarf, but for her wedding it seems like she wanted to be a little more conservative. Unfortunately this worked out to be an ivory dress with a white turtleneck :? If you're not going to buy an already-long-sleeved dress (hasn't anybody heard of lace sleeves?!), can't you at least find a shirt that is the same color as your dress? I realize this is really petty, but the obviously/poorly altered modest dresses drive me crazy. There are plenty of modest wedding dresses out there, and there's also the option of a shawl or bolero.

Right! There are even beautiful ultra-conservative dress companies. (this dress is from Luce which is said 'loose', in French anyway. In Italian it's loochay) :lol:

[Kitchen Princess]

Don't come here much anymore, but just had to share.

I was recently at a gathering near the Duggar home, and I was chatting with a very outgoing 9-year-old girl. Somehow the subject of weddings came up and she said, as if she just remembered a happy event, "I'm going to a wedding! It's my friend's wedding, Jill." ::pause while she thinks some more:: "Jill Duggar! Do you know Jill Duggar?"

I said, "I know her from TV, and I saw on TV that she was getting married. How lucky you are! Do you watch their TV show?" And she said, "No, I don't know when it's on. But I go to their house and play with Johanna."

This girl was wearing short-shorts, like little girls do, and I knew by the setting that there was no way the family was fundie, and probably not even evangelical. Interesting...

[ILoveJellybeans]

That is awesome! :) Its good that the kids have friends that are normal :)

[Geechee Girl]

It's comforting to know the Duggars allow friendships with outsiders. Yay, Hannie!

I think I may have had a QF or Mormon encounter. One of the toddler pageant contestants was introduced as having 11 siblings. As soon I as saw the mom & tot with ultra blond hair, I guessed Utah. My prediction was correct.

[Kitchen Princess]

I had my username changed just after I posted that (thanks, Curious!), so if you ask me via PM who I used to be, I will tell you, if I know you. :) I'm just getting a little too close by association to certain local fundies.

[Spider Burps]

I haven't posted here in ages, but I spotted this lot on May 30 at 14 St-Union Square and thought I'd snap a shot for the Jingers.

[bettertomarry]

I haven't posted here in ages, but I spotted this lot on May 30 at 14 St-Union Square and thought I'd snap a shot for the Jingers.

The Mennonites (I think) come to Harvard Square in Cambridge a lot!

[Coco]

sweet! a cappella singing in a subway, bet it sounded awesome about the only thing i miss is singing in harmony.

[RosyDaisy]

When I went to vote today, I saw a fundie couple walk in. Only the husband voted. He actually told the person checking ID's that his wife doesn't need to vote because I vote for her. He wasn't joking. The whole place got quiet, and everyone's faces had a WFT expression. And the polling place was a SBC! This is the first time I have seen this. Wow...just...wow.

[Coco]

When I went to vote today, I saw a fundie couple walk in. Only the husband voted. He actually told the person checking ID's that his wife doesn't need to vote because I vote for her. He wasn't joking. The whole place got quiet, and everyone's faces had a WFT expression. And the polling place was a SBC! This is the first time I have seen this. Wow...just...wow.

Hope someone voted a straight democratic ticket just for spite :D

[oompa2129]

My in-laws are not exactly fundie but very devout nonetheless, as in church every Sunday and houses more or less wallpapered with Christian paraphernalia. I don't mind it much, to each his/her own, but what really annoys me is the constant gifting of crucifixes, wall hangings, placards and other decor with Christian themes, and I'm not even Christian, I'm an atheist with Hindu parents.. When I got married, (after months of pestering me to convert) they gifted me a Bible, who does that? :angry-banghead: I'm sorry, but I thought stuff like that was considered rude.. I cannot even gift them to a Christian friend because I live in India and most Christian friends are acquaintances on Facebook, certainly not the types I can pass on religious stuff to. There is no way I will display them in my house and no way to make them stop because I'm too afraid to spoil the relationship..

Sorry for the rant, my MIL just left after passing on another mind-bogglingly ugly piece of art, that she went on to hang on my living room wall, without my permission of course..

[Coco]

My in-laws are not exactly fundie but very devout nonetheless, as in church every Sunday and houses more or less wallpapered with Christian paraphernalia. I don't mind it much, to each his/her own, but what really annoys me is the constant gifting of crucifixes, wall hangings, placards and other decor with Christian themes, and I'm not even Christian, I'm an atheist with Hindu parents.. When I got married, (after months of pestering me to convert) they gifted me a Bible, who does that? :angry-banghead: I'm sorry, but I thought stuff like that was considered rude.. I cannot even gift them to a Christian friend because I live in India and most Christian friends are acquaintances on Facebook, certainly not the types I can pass on religious stuff to. There is no way I will display them in my house and no way to make them stop because I'm too afraid to spoil the relationship..

Sorry for the rant, my MIL just left after passing on another mind-bogglingly ugly piece of art, that she went on to hang on my living room wall, without my permission of course..

Pushy in-laws are the worst. You're right, it was rude, and insensitive of her. :pull-hair:

[Kitchen Princess]

Just reporting that I held Jill's wedding invitation in my hand last week. It looks like political advertising. Honestly. I think a lot of them went out. The wedding is at a rather large church. I think they're expecting a large turnout.

[HarryPotterFan]

Just reporting that I held Jill's wedding invitation in my hand last week. It looks like political advertising. Honestly. I think a lot of them went out. The wedding is at a rather large church. I think they're expecting a large turnout.

Are you going? I expect it will be a madhouse. And that they will probably want every single one of the 1,000 guests to bring a gift.