Kelly Bates had another miscarriage

[Sprocket]

Just curious because my daughter who was the 1970 baby joined the Air Force post HS, then went to nursing school with her GI Bill.

As to the rest of the questions, and this is not addressed to NurseNell, years ago I joined a recipe exchange which included Kelly. She and I began talking and then emailing. She told me that Michael (she likes that now) bought material with her babysitting money for the dresses she made the little girls, so I sent her some fabric. She thanked me and we began emailing and texting. The same with some others. No, I sure don't think anyone would tell me about any sexual abuse, but would they be so gleeful and enthusiastic when telling me about the trips? I have no idea. I am not trying to hijack anyone's grandchildren, I have 13 of my own. I know it is hard for you to believe but the girls and Kelly seem to like me, lying shape shifter than I am. And that is the extent of my relationship. I don't stalk them and I don't know any other fundamentalists or Gothardites. The reason I joined FJ was because I was curious about the Duggar/Gothard connection, having never heard of Gothard or the Quiverful movement. I never expected to be called a liar, or have every dotted i and crossed t inspected on any comment I ever made. Wouldn't you think I would stay the hell away from this site? You'd also think I would stop watching the Duggars. Go figure!

Okay, so you've given enough information about yourself that you would be easily recognizable to them. At best you're crappy friend, no matter how distant the connection. At worst, you've betrayed their trust and you're a crappy friend. Either way, you suck.

[BayLee_10]

But in that case don't you think it's creepy to run a fan page and gossip about them on a snark board (much as the goss is appreciated)? I would find it creepy if a friendly acquaintance did that to me.

I don't see any gossip here. Much more is revealed in 'The United Bates of America' and in the Bates website than anything I have ever written here. And I do NOT run any fan page. Where on earth did you get that information? Good Lord, I don't even make the right damned salad that is served twice a year on Holidays? Oh hang her...the sugar content, my Gawd! Why make anything that kids love on holidays?

[Witsec7]

Baylee, you seem to be avoiding a key question: do good parents refuse to question a man that has been accused of sexually harrassing teens in his ministry? Is knee jerk denial when people bring up these sort of concerns a good parenting technique? You claim that Gil and Kelly are good parents, yet this is how they act? So are you really saying these sort of actions are the actions of good parents?

Hopefully since Bayley is in the house she'll consider FG's questions. Maybe even answer them.

[icecreamycakeycake]

My husband is a farmer so he was home full time. I've been working from home for almost 20 years now.

Yes my boys helped out. There was NO Gender Roles!

The boys washed the dishes, did laundry(10 and up did their own laundry), and learned to cook.

We didn't use any birth control but after our last one. We decided for me to be fixed. I was 42 and my body was worn out.

I was lucky and blessed not to have any miscarriages and to have healthy babies. If I wouldn't had twins(twins run in my family) I would had only 17 children.

We was approached by the local media after our 12th child(which was our 2nd set of twins) was born but we turned them down and just wanted to be private. It wasn't a big deal to us.

Only one son so far is following in his father's business and nothing was handed to him.

I watch the Duggar & Bates show and my heart breaks for those kids. Especially the girls. I would had never put my daughters through that. As the parent , it was my and my husband's job to raise all of the kids.

Your husband was willing to let the Mother of his 20 children, under-go sterilization under general anesthesia in an operating room, assuming potentially life threatening risks and a considerable recovery period, rather than have a less complicated, safer procedure in a Doctors office, with minimal side effects and being laid up with a bag of peas for a day?

This is not what a loving husband does.

[formergothardite]

Hopefully since Bayley is in the house she'll consider FG's questions. Maybe even answer them.

Yep. She keeps ignoring it. Either she will have to claim that sending your children off with a man accused of sexually harrassing teens without even looking into it is good parenting or own up to the fact that the Bates aren't great parents.

[Witsec7]

Yep. She keeps ignoring it. Either she will have to claim that sending your children off with a man accused of sexually harrassing teens without even looking into it is good parenting or own up to the fact that the Bates aren't great parents.

She's a true believer leghumper. She will never answer nor will she ever admit that the Bates are shitty parents. Besides she doesn't want to jeopardize her relationship with the family. :roll:

[Sprocket]

I don't see any gossip here. Much more is revealed in 'The United Bates of America' and in the Bates website than anything I have ever written here. And I do NOT run any fan page. Where on earth did you get that information? Good Lord, I don't even make the right damned salad that is served twice a year on Holidays? Oh hang her...the sugar content, my Gawd! Why make anything that kids love on holidays?

1. The person who made their "Fan Page of the Bates Family" is named Bayley. You handle is BayLee. Both kreatyve ways of spelling Bailey, so, there you have it. I don't know if you can be difinitively linked to the facebook page or not. I thought (and I guess others did too) that you were one in the same. Here you go:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/fanpage4thebatesfamily

2. You don't see any gossip here? Do you actually read what people say here? Before they had their own show, there was little else but speculation and gossip. You don't think that the "frenemy" status between Kelly and Michelle Duggar is gossip? There was a thread dedicated solely to the perceived mistreatment of their horses. I could go on and on.

3. As is everyone, you're welcome to post all you want about them. However, if someone I knew in real life hung out with a bunch of people who had almost nothing nice to say about me, I would seriously reconsider my friendship with that person. The kindest thing that I can say about Kelly Bates is that she is a marginally better mother than her counterpart, Michelle Duggar, which isn't saying much. You may think what you're doing is harmless, but I think you're a rotten friend.

4. Oh, and Creamscicle salad sounds disgusting.

Too tired to fix riffles and I'm sure there are plenty.

[SoybeanQueen]

There's just so much that can go wrong so early on and especially at her age. It's like tempting fate to announce it so early.

I used to feel the same way, and then I had several miscarriages. With my last pregnancy, I did tell my friends and family pretty early. I knew that if something happened to my baby I would need the support. As awful as it is to have to tell people the baby is gone, to me, just pretending everything is OK when I'm grieving a very much wanted baby is worse.

While I definitely think the Bates and Duggars should stop having kids at this point, I don't think it's right to say they shouldn't be sad or shouldn't consider it a real baby after miscarriage. For many women, it doesn't matter that the baby is just a few cells at the beginning. If they wanted that baby, there is grief at the loss.

[BayLee_10]

1. The person who made their "Fan Page of the Bates Family" is named Bayley. You handle is BayLee. Both kreatyve ways of spelling Bailey, so, there you have it. I don't know if you can be difinitively linked to the facebook page or not. I thought (and I guess others did too) that you were one in the same. Here you go:

http://www.facebook.com/#!/fanpage4thebatesfamily

2. You don't see any gossip here? Do you actually read what people say here? Before they had their own show, there was little else but speculation and gossip. You don't think that the "frenemy" status between Kelly and Michelle Duggar is gossip? There was a thread dedicated solely to the perceived mistreatment of their horses. I could go on and on.

3. As is everyone, you're welcome to post all you want about them. However, if someone I knew in real life hung out with a bunch of people who had almost nothing nice to say about me, I would seriously reconsider my friendship with that person. The kindest thing that I can say about Kelly Bates is that she is a marginally better mother than her counterpart, Michelle Duggar, which isn't saying much. You may think what you're doing is harmless, but I think you're a rotten friend.

4. Oh, and Creamscicle salad sounds disgusting.

Too tired to fix riffles and I'm sure there are plenty.

BayLee is my Cocker Spaniel and she is 10 years old! I have no idea what the relationship is between Kelly and Michelle and I'm not about to guess. I would have to say that the Duggars have been very generous to the Bates, other than that, and that is just my opinion, I don't know. It seems to me, and again just my opinion, Jim Bob loves playing 'Lord Bountiful.'

[BayLee_10]

Baylee is a rescue dog and already named when I got her at age 4 so I can't even take credit for being 'kreatyve.' While I think she is the most wonderful dog ever, I doubt she is running a facebook fan page. If she were, it would more likely be for Milo's Dog Treats. As everyone who reads this knows, I have only ever said nice things about the Bates, so I am a terrible friend and I suck? It does kind of make me wonder about the accuracy of the snarking on FreeJinger, when so many wrong things have been said about me, as well as about the Bates. I'll be more than happy to snark about the Duggar family as many of those episodes as I have subjected myself to. As for the rest of the Gothardites, never heard of them except those who have appeared on '19KaC.'

Forget about freeing smug, snotty little Jinger. Free Hannie, Jennifer, Jordyn and Josie!

And back to the subject at hand, I think it is very sad when anyone who is pregnant enough to see a little heartbeat has a miscarriage be it their first child or their 30th. My oldest daughter only has one child, but 3 miscarriages and she was devastated. No other pregnancies despite not using birth control throughout her 28 year marriage.

[formergothardite]

Yep. She keeps ignoring it. Either she will have to claim that sending your children off with a man accused of sexually harrassing teens without even looking into it is good parenting or own up to the fact that the Bates aren't great parents.

Do you have me on ignore now Baylee? Why won't you answer this question? You are the one who keeps claiming the Bates are great parents all while admitting that if confronted with evidence that Gothard sexually harrassed teens they would immediatly go into denial mode and cut the person who dares to question Gothard out of their life.

[Witsec7]

Do you have me on ignore now Baylee? Why won't you answer this question? You are the one who keeps claiming the Bates are great parents all while admitting that if confronted with evidence that Gothard sexually harrassed teens they would immediatly go into denial mode and cut the person who dares to question Gothard out of their life.

Well just in case she has you on iggy or foe :D

[formergothardite]

It is just weird how she is just skipping this question like it isn't there.

[Witsec7]

It is just weird how she is just skipping this question like it isn't there.

Bayley seems very vested in her status as a pal to the fundies. Think about it, she has to be if she is unwilling to prevent young women from being exposed the the unwanted attention of a 70 celibate male. It's situations like this that really make me wonder about her motivation. Bragging about the kids and grand kids and oblivious to what these young women are encountering at HQ.

She made it quite clear that she values her relationships with the fundies more than she values basic ethics. And now bantering about her fucking dog.

[Deleted07]

Bayleeeeeee seems to forget that the lies and stories she has told on previous threads and about her interactions with the Bates... She also flip-flops about what she thinks and feels about the Bates.

On previous threads she has said variations of they are basic besties with her being in their house and appearing on the show. Then backtracked to living miles away and saying she never actually met them. Which is it? Now you've met through a recipe exchange, and other stories you've told said you simply liked them so contacted and sent them material and gifts and thats how you became so chummy.

You've flounced and hand-slapped us MANY times on many Bates related threads and also, might I add, run from here to the Bates blog comments saying the same things there as you have said here, Kay. ;-)

You keep saying shit like 'you have the option to stop watching' and 'how can you spend so much time talking about this' and again various flounces and hand-slappings, yet you keep coming back. Popping up with your little 'insider information' and stalking the FJ forums to run back to Kelly about. Which poses the question as to why?

You clearly love the attention it gets you here, and haven't left despite your claims of us being so wrong, bad, judgemental, etc. So its clear this a hobby for you, as much as it might be for us to snark on various people.

Yet you seem to look down at us for our simple snark, when its actually you with a more sinister motive that I would be genuinely more concerned of. Having the information you seem to and parading it around for all to hear, and the running back and forth. You're a real great friend aren't ya...

Thats being two faced. That concerns me more than us snarking on about their beliefs, compared to you who claims to be a friend and being deceitful the way you are. Actually coming here to get the attention of letting out the information you do and notoriety of the 'six degrees of seperation' and 15 minutes of fame you are clearly reveling in here. Then running back to The Bates telling them of all the 'mean' things those folks at Free Jinger say!

You're a two faced bitch, plain and simple. Don't try to pretend you're anything better than us, because honey, you're not. If anything, you are infact worse than us. You're the lowest form of low. A hypocrite.

Prove me wrong by stopping your ridiculous performances here. I dare you.

[formergothardite]

The whole situation is just sad:

There is a twisted old man who preys on naive young women.

There are the Bates that are too invested in this twisted old man to accept that he might be less than perfect.

There is Baylee who knows about the actions of this twisted old man but is too invested in remaining friends with the parents that she doesn't care enough to sit down and discuss her concerns with them.

And then there are the real victims, the naive young women who have been taught that Gothard can do no wrong and that everything he does is godly and good who will be sent off on mission trips with him.

[BayLee_10]

The whole situation is just sad:

There is a twisted old man who preys on naive young women.

There are the Bates that are too invested in this twisted old man to accept that he might be less than perfect.

There is Baylee who knows about the actions of this twisted old man but is too invested in remaining friends with the parents that she doesn't care enough to sit down and discuss her concerns with them.

And then there are the real victims, the naive young women who have been taught that Gothard can do no wrong and that everything he does is godly and good who will be sent off on mission trips with him.

Since 'Former Gothardite' appears to be the leader of this 'tell the Bates all about Gothard' movement, why doesn't she/he do just that? We all know that Bill Gothard has created a powerful empire for himself, yet, I am supposed to accuse him of child molestation based on 'feelings' and 'anecdotal' evidence?

Sure...Kelly, some of the FJ group think I should tell you that they feel Bill Gothard makes young women feel uncomfortable by his actions. Well, actually it was only a few young women, but still......

So, yes, finally I got bored enough to check out one of the Bates Fan Pages and while I am on the subject of FJ's feeling, I think anyone who does feel that I am one and the same with Bayley Pahavic should check out her picture. If this is indeed the picture of a nearly 70 year old woman, than I want some of what she is taking! Your investigative skills are certainly not infallible, are they?

Looking at Bill Gothard and reading/hearing about his ridiculous beliefs, I sure can't say I am a fan of is, I think he is very mistaken but I have to give him credit for his fund raising and political skills. This is an old tactic, tell people you have the ability to interpret the word of God, and of Jesus, and a certain percentage of people will believe it. There are too many examples of that to name! Yes, it is pathetic, but it isn't as if the Bates are heading for Jonestown.

As for those who think they know Bill Gothard better than the Bates do, stay awake nights and figure out how you plan to set me up to do your dirty work. As for me, the subject is finished.

[luckylibrarian]

Sure...Kelly, some of the FJ group think I should tell you that they feel Bill Gothard makes young women feel uncomfortable by his actions. Well, actually it was only a few young women, but still......

Yes, that is what a friend does. For example, if a friend knew that there were rumors about my kid's soccer coach acting improperly, I'd want to know, regardless of how well I think I know the coach. A child's safety takes precedence over an adult's friendship or reputation. At the same time, I'm sure the Bateses are aware of the allegations and just don't give a shit. He's their prophet; they'll defend or dismiss anything he does.

And it doesn't matter if Bill Gothard made 1, 2, or 20 young women uncomfortable. One is too many, and a good parent would make sure their child was never in a situation to be number two.

[ShesCrafty]

Yes, that is what a friend does. For example, if a friend knew that there were rumors about my kid's soccer coach acting improperly, I'd want to know, regardless of how well I think I know the coach. A child's safety takes precedence over an adult's friendship or reputation. At the same time, I'm sure the Bateses are aware of the allegations and just don't give a shit. He's their prophet; they'll defend or dismiss anything he does.

And it doesn't matter if Bill Gothard made 1, 2, or 20 young women uncomfortable. One is too many, and a good parent would make sure their child was never in a situation to be number two.

Yes, perhaps BayLee can tell us how many young women Gothard gets to make "feel uncomfortable" before he has to start answering some questions. 5? 20? 100? Just let us know how many chances a man who's been accused of molestation gets before you would be willing to risk your friendship (and I use that term loosely) with the Bates by informing them of the accusations some are making against Gothard. Your nonactions are disgusting.

[Closed Womb]

Yes, that is what a friend does. For example, if a friend knew that there were rumors about my kid's soccer coach acting improperly, I'd want to know, regardless of how well I think I know the coach. A child's safety takes precedence over an adult's friendship or reputation. At the same time, I'm sure the Bateses are aware of the allegations and just don't give a shit. He's their prophet; they'll defend or dismiss anything he does.

And it doesn't matter if Bill Gothard made 1, 2, or 20 young women uncomfortable. One is too many, and a good parent would make sure their child was never in a situation to be number two.

This. And especially this: "One is too many, and a good parent would make sure their child was never in a situation to be number two."

[formergothardite]

Do you have me on ignore now Baylee? Why won't you answer this question? You are the one who keeps claiming the Bates are great parents all while admitting that if confronted with evidence that Gothard sexually harrassed teens they would immediatly go into denial mode and cut the person who dares to question Gothard out of their life.

Apparently she is still going to ignore this one.

You are their friend, I am not. You are the one who claims they are good parents who put their kids first. Good parents who put their children first will not get upset if a friend prints out copies of the stories on Recovering Grace about sexual harrassment, spiritual abuse, and mental abuse that is rampant in ATI and sits down with them, shows concern and questions the man that they are looking to tell them how to live their life. Good parents would be able to read those things and then, without going into knee jerk denial explain why they choose not to believe those stories.

So that is how you can confront them.

[formergothardite]

I find it hard to understand why Bill Gothard isn't in prison after reading that sad and alarming story. Never-the-less, others who have attempted to bring up anything negative about Bill Gothard to Kelly were met with instantaneous, knee jerk denial. Since the 3 Bates girls who have traveled to Chile and Romania on this man's missions have never mentioned anything untoward to me I think there may be strength in numbers. Three as opposed to a girl basically alone. It would be hard for me to imagine that either Kelly or Gil would physically abuse or mentally abuse any of their children. They literally live for them. Several years ago I met Kelly through a recipe exchange. We just hit it off. Maybe she liked my Creamsicle Salad. I used to live in the south, Virginia, Maryland and Kentucky near the Tennessee border.

Seriously, you went from he should be in prison and that the stories were sad and alarming, to oh, he just made a couple of teens feel uncomfortable. No biggie.

[Patsy]

As for me, the subject is finished.

Wellll, I wasn't doing anything tonight.

Since January:

No way, FJers, there is no way I am going to say even one additional thing about the Bates, other than to repeat what I said before.

OK, I give up. Like many other things in life, it hardly matters what anyone thinks. I just don't understand why everyone jumps on me whenever I mention the Bates, even to correct a misconception. Have it your way.

Time for me to get back to lurking and just enjoying the snark, and I do enjoy it. The temptation is too great to correct misconceptions about the Bateses.

Challenging the Bateses:

I got an email from Alyssa Bates telling me to support Santorum. Did I miss the pig flyover? And yes, she got my opinion, not only of Santorum but also of Josh Duggar.

Their closeness:

BTW If you see a good looking ole lady waving at you on the Bates show with her middle finger, then know, this one's for you.

I don't know Tori

And, after the discussion about Michaela's spelling had died down, out of the blue:

Remembering the flack I got from saying I know the Bates family and that Michaela spells her name with only ONE 'L' may each of you take a look at the 'updates' on the Bates website and view the newest posting by 'Michaela.'

Apologies, anyone? I thought not.

then another quick mini-flounce, almost immediately:

What I think is the subject has just about been beaten to death. I can't believe I was debating about one 'L' or 'LL.'

[Tamerlane]

Do ya'll think that Kelly has regular periods at her age? When I started into perimenopause, my periods became irregular. If hers are not regular, do you suppose she pees on a stick pretty much every day?

It's possible. Some women go through menopause later than others. For example, my mom was 49 - 50 when she started experiencing menopausal signs. My oldest sister, currently in her early 50's, still has her period like clockwork with nary a sign of impending uterine apocolypse. I know because she bitches about still having to use birth control at her age. Haaa!

Kelly and Michelle are, what? Early to mid 40's? It's possible that both of them could have another 10 years, give or take, of regular ovulation and menstruation. Whether or not it's a good idea to take advantage of those years ...

Okay, it's not. They should stop.

[gustava]

It's possible. Some women go through menopause later than others. For example, my mom was 49 - 50 when she started experiencing menopausal signs. My oldest sister, currently in her early 50's, still has her period like clockwork with nary a sign of impending uterine apocolypse. I know because she bitches about still having to use birth control at her age. Haaa!

Kelly and Michelle are, what? Early to mid 40's? It's possible that both of them could have another 10 years, give or take, of regular ovulation and menstruation. Whether or not it's a good idea to take advantage of those years ...

Okay, it's not. They should stop.

I agree. STOP! :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: