Kelly Bates had another miscarriage

[icecreamycakeycake]

Unfortunately for Kelly and Michelle. I won in the baby race. If that's what they call it.(which is sad that they both are racing to 20)

I have 20 healthy children(3 sets of twins) and 13 grandchildren(and counting on the grandkids). My husband and I married when we were 18 and had our first the following year. From the oldest to the youngest is 23 years. I just loved children. We are Christian but not fundies or in a cult.

God didn't lay it on my heart to have that many kids. It just happened. Yes we recieved criticism from both our families when the 8th one came along and they stopped complaining to us after the 12th. (I guess they figured what's the use) Both my husband and I work while raising our children. We still have 6 at home and all our children went to public school. Some played sports, were in band, and were in plays. Some were scouts and in 4H. They had friends besides their siblings, dated, and did normal childhood activities.

We had a big garden and raised our own meat. (which helped on the grocery bill).

Most importantly, we raised our children ourshelves. No buddy system. My oldest two were daughters. Did they older ones help out alittle when we went out. Of course, but my husband and I had two children in each hand or arm and usually the youngest. They all had chores to do. But I did the cooking and cleaning. (kids rooms were cleaned by them) The most we had at home at one time is 15 children. The oldest was in college when number 16 was born. Did the older girls help out with the babies. (of course, but it was because they wanted to, not forced to)

My adult children have careers in different fields including business, medical, and the military.

It wasn't always easy and yes I delivered every one of them. But no family life is going to be always easy. There is difficulities and challenges in any size family. That's called Life! And no none of my children want that many kids. I think 4 would be the max. That's fine with me and my husband.

We have 14 sons and 6 daughters. 5 of our daughters are married and they picked their own husbands. The youngest daughter is in college.

If you think 6 howler monkeys are bad. My last 8 were howler monkeys, but they rasied to respect other people's belongings and not go wild in the house like its their playroom. My boys aren't really howler monkeys. lol! (little snark)

Our family is private and have no desire for media attention.

I only replied to let you guys know that Kelly and Michelle lost that race over 10 years ago.

To remind people on here that not all large families are fundy and crazy.

Long time lurker. First time poster.

Were you ever approached by the media? What do you and/or your husband do for a living (I assume at least one of you has to be home FT)? Did you ever use or consider BC?

*ugly riffles*

[Boogalou]

Funpal, you said your older daughters helped out, but what about the boys?

[funpal]

My husband is a farmer so he was home full time. I've been working from home for almost 20 years now.

Yes my boys helped out. There was NO Gender Roles!

The boys washed the dishes, did laundry(10 and up did their own laundry), and learned to cook.

We didn't use any birth control but after our last one. We decided for me to be fixed. I was 42 and my body was worn out.

I was lucky and blessed not to have any miscarriages and to have healthy babies. If I wouldn't had twins(twins run in my family) I would had only 17 children.

We was approached by the local media after our 12th child(which was our 2nd set of twins) was born but we turned them down and just wanted to be private. It wasn't a big deal to us.

Only one son so far is following in his father's business and nothing was handed to him.

I watch the Duggar & Bates show and my heart breaks for those kids. Especially the girls. I would had never put my daughters through that. As the parent , it was my and my husband's job to raise all of the kids.

[Witsec7]

Funpal, thanks for your contributions and adding another POV to the large family subject. I hope you can get enough posts so that you can start an AMA thread.

In the meantime I have a question. Does your family have a religion of choice? You've never really answered why you have a large family and why you chose not to use birth control to space your births.

[EmmieJ]

I hope like hell not.......

"sunny" was only 7 weeks - I find that a bit early to even announce your pregnancy nonetheless mourn the loss. On cable TV.

It definitely is. I remember waiting until I passed the first trimester mark before letting my family know about my pregnancy -- and I was 35, in good health, and hadn't had numerous prior pregnancies, 2 prior miscarriages, and the need to take any drugs to assist my body in getting/staying pregnant.

It didn't even dawn on me that I might be pregnant until around the 7-week mark.

[EmmieJ]

My words said I did not think I would, not what I think other people should do. It simply means because of my beliefs it does make it harder for me to understand the need to tell so many people that she doesn't know.

Yeah, that's what I took from your words too. I don't have my own blog, but I do have a FB account, with a rather low number of friends and family. Even there, I don't really post a lot of personal info -- but if I did post it, it's still quite a bit different than Kelly Bates putting up a post on their family blog. They have been on TV, her blog posts are easily read by anyone who types in "Bates blog" on a Google search, and thus anything she posts there is public info.

So, I do see a difference between a person sharing something this personal with friends, family and even co-workers vs. Kelly Bates sharing similar information with basically anyone and everyone.

[patsymae]

"That's also why they publicize their miscarriages: to spread the word that they have lost a CHILD. It's propaganda. Pure and simple. Dressed up in flowered frumpers with smiling countenances with an "aw, shucks, we just love children" attitude -but at its heart is propaganda designed to influence other people into thinking just like them. And the more people who think like them, the more people will vote like them. They present themselves as family-friendly, wholesome, independent (no govt aid), down home, real, patriotic Americans who value home, God, family, and the sanctity of life. The more people want to emulate them in any way the easier it is for politicians who share their views to seem less dangerous - "Oh, Rick Santorum also loves his miscarried babies!!!" Because in the end, their (Bates, Duggars, etc.) desire is to turn this country into "a Christian country" complete with law outlawing abortion, controlling access to birth control and basically imposing their religious beliefs on us all.

I know I sound a little deranged, but these people piss.me.off. Fuck 'em."

I don't think you sound deranged at all. Naming a seven-week old miscarried embryo and blasting about your loss all over the Internet would indeed seem to indicate an agenda (and quite possibly some derangement on their part).

[Witsec7]

I'm sorry Kelly had a miscarriage, but posting about it on the internets to the known universe smacks of fame whoring.

[slickcat79]

I wonder if, at a certain point, you mentally cannot give the same amount of love to all your children. Like, past 12 kids, you start forgetting about some of them or they just sort of start melding together in your mind.

Oh yeah. Michelle starts describing the kids at around the 3:40 mark, and once she gets down to the howlers it's like :? ???

KTQG5Q_s4ZA

Also, Johannah poops on JB at the beginning, which was kind of awesome :lol: Free Hannie!

[Visionoyahweh]

Funpal needs to call up Michelle's next radio appearance or visit the next book signing and casually mention her twenty children. Be sure to get her face on tape.

[Common]

Funpal needs to call up Michelle's next radio appearance or visit the next book signing and casually mention her twenty children. Be sure to get her face on tape.

Not gonna lie,

I would pay to see...

[desertvixen]

And lets not forget the clip where Gil states that he didn't protect his kids for 18 years to have them go be around people that don't believe like they do.

Well, then, he did a pretty piss poor job of it, because they should be ready to leave at some point.

What I don't understand is that the Bates and Duggars all seem to agree that birth control pills can cause abortions. (citations seriously needed!) But they are willing to continue getting pregnant while knowing there is a huge (nearly 100% with Kelly) chance of a miscarriage.

At what point is Kelly "murdering" her potential babies? And how, in her mind, is this better than just having Gil wear a condom?

QFT.

"That's also why they publicize their miscarriages: to spread the word that they have lost a CHILD. It's propaganda. Pure and simple.

Because in the end, their (Bates, Duggars, etc.) desire is to turn this country into "a Christian country" complete with law outlawing abortion, controlling access to birth control and basically imposing their religious beliefs on us all.

This, pretty much.

[emmiedahl]

Oh yeah. Michelle starts describing the kids at around the 3:40 mark, and once she gets down to the howlers it's like :? ???

KTQG5Q_s4ZA

Also, Johannah poops on JB at the beginning, which was kind of awesome :lol: Free Hannie!

Did anyone catch the part at 5:45 about how they had Josh and then became pregnant again with the twins?

I have not believed in Caleb for a while, but every time she talks about her children I believe in him less.

[SeaSaltCaramel]

While perusing facebook the other day, I noticed that a couple of facebook friends "like" a fan page/forum based on Michelle Duggar: mom of 20. Even the leghumpers don't count Caleb. Oh yeah, and in the "about" section, they let you know up front that they'll delete any mean or nasty comments. :lol:

[CrazySister]

Did anyone catch the part at 5:45 about how they had Josh and then became pregnant again with the twins?

I have not believed in Caleb for a while, but every time she talks about her children I believe in him less.

I was about to comment on that :) It definately seems questionable although I also wonder if yes, she did have a miscarriage, but it didn't actually have any major affect on her and she just decided in the last couple of years to pretend as though she was devastated and it changed her view. I don't know, probably not, but I'd love to know the truth regarding "Caleb"

[funpal]

I am Christian and we goto an nondemonational church that follows the Bible.

I never used birth control. I didn't want too. I just happened to be fertile like Michelle. No religious reason.

My husband and I love kids. I didn't chart my ovulation. A few pregnancies were surprises.

Not all of my 20 children lived under our roof at the same time. The most we had under our roof was 15!

Of our 14 adult children(18 & up)only two didn't goto college. Our son who farms and another son in the military.

I am taller and slightly bigger then Michelle and Kelly. Technically, I only had 17 pregnancies. Because of the 3 set of twins.

Michelle has had 19 and Kelly had 23 pregnancies.

I am the last person to be talking to Michelle. I am afraid I wouldn't be Christ like and tell her off for how she and JimBob raise their children. Qouting Bible verses to go along with what I have to say. I would never had my 6 year old eldest daughter help with her younger siblings. She was too young, immature, and irresponsible for such an adult task. If I would had done that then I would had stopped at 5 children! Children need to be children in my opinion. They have the rest of their lives to be adults. Helping get a diaper for mommy or blanket or holding the baby on her lap with mommy sitting next to her is one thing. Taking over household chores and caring for siblings is another. Those girls especially Jana & Jill have too much responsiblity for their parent's children! My babies stayed in our room till they were about 1 years old.

Sadly, it is a cult that misuses the Christian faith.

[bananacat]

funpal, you sound very fundie. Non-denominational is a fundie denomination in spite of the name. It just has no central organization like other denominations because every preacher likes to think he is just special and doesn't need to listen to anyone. And the way you phrased "church that follows the Bible" also screams fundie. It implies that you believe there are churches that don't follow the Bible. I don't even want to know which churches you think don't follow the Bible, but I can probably guess pretty accurately.

It's good that you don't abuse and neglect your children like the Duggars and Bateses do, but I still think you are fundie or fundie-lite, and not because of the amount of kids you have.

[JenniferJuniper]

funpal,

How is that TLC - or any local news organization for that matter - hasn't picked up your incredible story?

[BayLee_10]

When exactly is back in the day for you? I was in the Navy, I had a pregnancy test done in 1970.

I was a Navy dependent. My last child was born at the Newport Naval Hospital in Newport, Rhode Island. After missing my second period the clinic doctor told me I was pregnant. Obviously I was not surprised. In those days weren't women still required to leave the armed services on becoming pregnant? Therefore it would be much more important for a, if women were still WAVES, to know.

[Rowan]

Lol - before continuing on on the thread, I re-posted the video post and said essentially what Emmiedahl said. GMTA, you and CrazySister.

What a FRAUD Michelle is!

and :angry-cussing: at Joy-Anna being "the little mommy!" No, she wasn't/shouldn't have been in that role at all! I never saw her with that personality either, she's always been too tomboyish and spirited (not that girls can't be all of those things, but Michelle only says what fits into her view of who Joy should be).

[trplaxle]

It's probably because Joy is stuck in the middle of all those boys, that she has become a tom boy, but i always secretly hoped she is a lesbian (statistically, one of them should be gay, right?) so she has a chance to get the hell out.

[formergothardite]

Baylee, are you going to talk to them about the accusations of molestation from former teens/women who worked with Gothard? If you really care you would, especially since Gothard has seemed to single them out and do things like pay for them to go on mission trips with him. Anyone who has been in ATI could tell you that Erin has the perfect Gothard approved "look" that he likes when choosing teens/women to "work" with him. What are the Bates' thoughts on the fact that most people raised in ATI families end up hating it, hating Gothard, and hating the way they were raised?

[funpal]

I am not going to get into a debate rather Im fundie or not. I know what I am. Just because I said church follows the Bible doesn't mean I think other churches don't follow the Bible. I answered a question that was asked to me with out giving out too much personal information of my faith.

But if you must know. Im Methodist.

Incredible story!? What is so incredible about having 20 kids? I really don't think it's news worthy. There has been families with 15, 16, 18, and more children before throughout history. Families nowadays just don't want big families.

We been approached by local media a few times. I told you of one time. But we always wanted to stay private and remain so. I don't have a blog. I have no time or desire for a blog.

It's really no big deal to us. It's not like we all live under one roof. We don't even all live in one state.

If the Duggar and Bates want the world to know about their big families that's fine with them. But they are going to get criticism along with praise. This website is proof of that.

[browngrl]

funpal, you sound very fundie. Non-denominational is a fundie denomination in spite of the name. It just has no central organization like other denominations because every preacher likes to think he is just special and doesn't need to listen to anyone. And the way you phrased "church that follows the Bible" also screams fundie. It implies that you believe there are churches that don't follow the Bible. I don't even want to know which churches you think don't follow the Bible, but I can probably guess pretty accurately.

It's good that you don't abuse and neglect your children like the Duggars and Bateses do, but I still think you are fundie or fundie-lite, and not because of the amount of kids you have.

I did not find that statement to raise the fundie flag to me - I don't know funpal beyond this thread but she seems like someone who likes children way way more than I do - but that is about it. However, this comment does raise the question "what is a fundie".

I define fundie as someone whose beliefs are extreme and those beliefs exclude everyone outside their group. I find that many of their beliefs are openly hateful, misogynistic and mean spirited. I find that most fundies refuse to acknowledge scientific facts - instead preferring to stick to their own particular brand of truth. Fundies never seem to have a scrap of empathy or even tolerance for other people's beliefs. They seem to all think they are special snowflakes and they have an air of self righteousness that permeates pretty much everything they do. I haven't thought about this long so please excuse the rambling "definition".

What do others define fundie to be?

[ShadowyOne]

I did not find that statement to raise the fundie flag to me - I don't know funpal beyond this thread but she seems like someone who likes children way way more than I do - but that is about it. However, this comment does raise the question "what is a fundie".

I define fundie as someone whose beliefs are extreme and those beliefs exclude everyone outside their group. I find that many of their beliefs are openly hateful, misogynistic and mean spirited. I find that most fundies refuse to acknowledge scientific facts - instead preferring to stick to their own particular brand of truth. Fundies never seem to have a scrap of empathy or even tolerance for other people's beliefs. They seem to all think they are special snowflakes and they have an air of self righteousness that permeates pretty much everything they do. I haven't thought about this long so please excuse the rambling "definition".

What do others define fundie to be?

funpal didn't raise any major red flags for me, either, especially if her kids were educated outside the home, and free to leave, and pursue whatever paths in life that they chose.

On that note, I would add "isolationist" to the definition of fundie.*

Homeschooling, not because it will meet the kids' needs better than public school, but to limit their access to "unapproved" knowledge or differing viewpoints, is always a big flag for me. (and homeschooling is sometimes the best option - a friend started homeschooling because after a lot of effort and time, her very intelligent and on-the-spectrum oldest child could just not get what he needed out of any program that they could afford. And she's not a totally SAHM, she works weekends & some weekdays in the summer).

I digress... I would also count as fundie isolationist traits the limiting of friends, group activities outside of the family, and limiting media/Internet access beyond what most would consider age-appropriate. Adult children staying at home for years beyond the norm is another one. All tools to make sure that the approved message is the only one that the kids can hear.

* tapatalk changed "fundies" to "gunfire." Normally, my various iProducts change it to "fun dies.". Not sure which I like better, hee hee.