Kelly Bates had another miscarriage

[darkplumaged]

If you're 45, have had multiple miscarriages, and already have... how many? 18? 19? kids, it is time to shut down the factory. How is it pro-life to allow yourself to become pregnant time and time again when you know you're likely to miscarry. It would be different if she had a small number of kids and was just trying to eke out one more. But they have a million kids!

[LurkerOverThePond]

If you're 45, have had multiple miscarriages, and already have... how many? 18? 19? kids, it is time to shut down the factory. How is it pro-life to allow yourself to become pregnant time and time again when you know you're likely to miscarry. It would be different if she had a small number of kids and was just trying to eke out one more. But they have a million kids!

But you can never have too many flowers!

Yeah, right :roll:

[Jezebel Duggar]

ABCNews on her 3 previous miscarriages (from August 2011)

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/bates-fami ... 053&page=2

But eight weeks into the pregnancy, the baby died -- a devastating loss for the family. Kelly's two previous miscarriages occurred just a few days after a positive pregnancy test, well before they could see a heart

I'm sure Kelly takes a pregnancy test if her period is one minute late, since her main goal and purpose in life is spitting out babies. So for the first two miscarriages, she was about 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. And she named them.

[Visionoyahweh]

Just curious, if she could afford to do the progesterone, what with the major price hike

IIRC the major bad publicity around the price hike made them rethink that decision, and he progesterone shots are still relatively cheap. Bates-level poverty affordable, anyway. You'd have to ask a physician when to start on it, though.

[Chavymishmacoy]

[quote="treemom"

That is your personal preference. I needed a lot of caring and support after mine...so I told people.

It isn't tempting fate. That is bullshit. Telling people doesn't cause miscarriages.

but do you need to announce it to the world of course not that's the problem. its a cry to how great and godly we are thing going on.

[treemom]

[quote="treemom"

That is your personal preference. I needed a lot of caring and support after mine...so I told people.

It isn't tempting fate. That is bullshit. Telling people doesn't cause miscarriages.

but do you need to announce it to the world of course not that's the problem. its a cry to how great and godly we are thing going on.

[treemom]

So you went on a blog read by who knows how many people that you've never met or heard of in your life and announced the miscarriage? It's not telling family or friends about a miscarriage that I think is questionable, it's when you announce it to the entire world.

And again, I think when someone is a lot older than the safe years of having babies, it's not the best idea to announce it. So much can go wrong in those early months, and statistics say they do on a much higher level once you're the age of Kelly Bates. I just don't understand that need to make those huge announcements they do, especially when their history shows that something could very well go wrong.

You said it was tempting fate to announce it early, I also had history of shit going wrong including two late term losses.

It isn't tempting fate. Pregnancy losses don't happen because you pissed fate off by telling people. Not telling people is your own personal preference. It is your personal preference because of what you feel it would be like when something did go wrong. It was my personal preference because I knew what it felt like for me when things went wrong. It doesn't make one choice better or worse.

I think the bates family are asshats. But your complaint is them telling people period. I mean even friend and family are questionable? Wtf? Why don't you understand it isn't a right or wrong thing it is just a personal preference?

[treemom]

but do you need to announce it to the world of course not that's the problem. its a cry to how great and godly we are thing going on.

Sorry tree mom, I do think it's sad. I would want support too and I don't think your tempting fate by telling early but what I meant is that I tell my friends and family. Not every person I come across.

[treemom]

I'm with you on needing the support, but that's why I tell the people I'm closest to. For me, one of the hardest parts of miscarrying is having to tell people. I also think it may be different for someone who has had many healthy pregnancies preceding a miscarriage. Certainly for me, that first miscarriage (also being my first pregnancy) kind of destroyed my innocence. For each pregnancy thereafter I have expected to miscarry and so I don't announce it.

See one of the hardest parts of miscarrying for me was needing to act like everything was ok.

[luckystone]

Sigh. This is god telling them no. These people are so weird. Why would you want to do this?

Is it more negligent to conceive when you know it will end in death (and they think foetuses are people) or to use birth control?

[bananacat]

ABCNews on her 3 previous miscarriages (from August 2011)

http://abcnews.go.com/Health/bates-fami ... 053&page=2

I'm sure Kelly takes a pregnancy test if her period is one minute late, since her main goal and purpose in life is spitting out babies. So for the first two miscarriages, she was about 2 or 3 weeks pregnant. And she named them.

Is it possible that she wasn't even pregnant? I don't know much about pregnancy test false positives, but could she have just had a late period because of perimenopause and then got a wrong result on a cheap pee stick? And then when she got her period a little late she just assumed it was a miscarriage?

[CrazySister]

Is it possible that she wasn't even pregnant? I don't know much about pregnancy test false positives, but could she have just had a late period because of perimenopause and then got a wrong result on a cheap pee stick? And then when she got her period a little late she just assumed it was a miscarriage?

It's possible, but there's something called a "chemical" pregnancy that's a very early miscarriage. As old as she is she probably is getting pregnant but just can't maintain the pregnancy at this point. miscarriage.about.com/od/onetimemiscarriages/p/chemicalpreg.htm

[Distant Lines]

You said it was tempting fate to announce it early, I also had history of shit going wrong including two late term losses.

It isn't tempting fate. Pregnancy losses don't happen because you pissed fate off by telling people. Not telling people is your own personal preference. It is your personal preference because of what you feel it would be like when something did go wrong. It was my personal preference because I knew what it felt like for me when things went wrong. It doesn't make one choice better or worse.

I think the bates family are asshats. But your complaint is them telling people period. I mean even friend and family are questionable? Wtf? Why don't you understand it isn't a right or wrong thing it is just a personal preference?

No, my issue is them blasting it all over the internet. I have no problem with people telling family or friends. I don't know if I would, because that's how incredibly private I am, but I don't begrudge anyone sharing with their friends and family. It's when someone goes and puts it on the internet for the entire world to read that I think it's questionable. You're twisting my words. I was saying that, for me, because I don't know how much I'd even share with my friends or family, the idea of sharing it with the world is just too far out there for me to really think is normal.

And tempting fate is a saying, not exactly literal.

[Deleted01]

Is it possible that she wasn't even pregnant? I don't know much about pregnancy test false positives, but could she have just had a late period because of perimenopause and then got a wrong result on a cheap pee stick? And then when she got her period a little late she just assumed it was a miscarriage?

Many, many moons ago, a nurse at Planned Parenthood told me that a positive is always positive, but you can be positively pregnant and test negative.

[Jana814]

I wish I could have sympothy for this woman but I just cant. She really should stop having kids. I can't imagine what your insides must look like by now.

[Austin]

I also question the wisdom of blasting it all over the internet, but to each their own. I don't believe it "tempts fate", but do view it as in poor taste as at least 25% of pregnancies do end in miscarriage.

Just my personal view.

[Katydid]

I'm very sorry for their loss. No matter what I think of them personally, or of their involvement in ATI, miscarriage is never easy.

[mpheels]

Many, many moons ago, a nurse at Planned Parenthood told me that a positive is always positive, but you can be positively pregnant and test negative.

That is my understanding as well. But with tests that can detect pregnancy before a missed period, a lot of women find out about pregnancies they never would have known about.

[aubrietta]

That is my understanding as well. But with tests that can detect pregnancy before a missed period, a lot of women find out about pregnancies they never would have known about.

This is what the nurse at the end of the 1-800 on the pregnancy test insert told me when I called about an extremely faint second line. She sade that false positives are practically impossible.

[CrazySister]

This is what the nurse at the end of the 1-800 on the pregnancy test insert told me when I called about an extremely faint second line. She sade that false positives are practically impossible.

When my SIL miscarried (around 8wks), her doctor told her it used to be a woman wasn't even considered to be pregnant until she'd missed three periods. So women weren't even considered pregnant till they were what, already 12 weeks and beginning the second trimester?

[MrsKay]

They probably checked her every couple of weeks after her early, early pregnancy test (I'm sure she takes the kind that test positive before you miss your period), and went in around week 8 or 9 to find out the embryo had died between appointments.

Just curious, if she could afford to do the progesterone, what with the major price hike, when do they start treatment? Is 7 weeks too early? I ask because when I went in after my pee stick positives, my first appointment wasn't until 7 weeks and my second pregnancy was at age 39. Progesterone was never suggested to me and I miscarried both pregnancies around 11 weeks. I just figured que sera sera...

Actually, 7 weeks is usually too late. I have to start progesterone 3 days after ovulation, to support the corpus luteum (the part that the egg leaves behind that produces progesterone until menstruation, or until a placenta is functioning well enough to take over). That means that I do need to take early tests, because I need to know whether or not I should stop the progesterone - you probably won't get a period until you do, although I have at times, because my hormone levels were so shitty. A few times I got pregnant when we had planned to take that month off, or when my doctor was on holiday and I had no refills left; by the time I managed to get progesterone, between 7 - 14 days after ovulation (3 to 4 weeks pregnant by that measure), it was too late, and I miscarried. Either way, progesterone can't save an embryo/fetus who will die because of birth defects. It just prolongs the pregnancy. Once the progesterone is stopped, the already dead embryo/fetus will be expelled, or a D&C will be done.

[MrsKay]

God, I just had a scary thought. When my progesterone therapy AFTER ovulation didn't seem to be working, our next step was going to be focusing on whether or not it was my ovulation that was crappy, and the cause of low progesterone. The way that is done is with Clomid or other drugs that stimulate egg follicles. Sometimes it's just a matter of follicles developing better to produce a viable pregnancy when progesterone fails after ovulation; a "weak" ovulation, which is very common as women get older, usually means hormone levels in both halves of the cycle need to be worked on. Some women use soy isoflavones, which you can get at the drugstore or even Walmart, in place of Clomid, and have success. Which means that Kelly could be going down this route next, and upping the chances of multiples. Oh, to be a fly on the wall of the TTH if that happens...

[treemom]

Distant lines, I did not twist your words. You were very clear, outside of close friends and family (if that) you believe it is wrong to tell people until farther along.

Why am I hung up on this? Because the problem with the bates family isn't that they told people...it is the moralizing they do when they tell people. Is it in poor taste to post on your blog when the pee is barely dry? I can't imagine how. Because you might make people uncomfortable when you are the 1/4 pregnancies that ends in miscarriage? Well I just don't think that is poor taste. If people are ok with friends, family and whoever meanders by knowing they are pregnant that is their personal preference. If they take that opportunity to point out that being pregnant, becoming a martyr of militant fecundity, and making a sideshow out of your grief is in poor taste.

Being pregnant and then losing the pregnancy and then just telling people, yes we are sad, we had a miscarriage, thanks for asking is just one way of dealing with it, it doesn't need to have a value judgement placed on it. Just as reasonable are people who wait until whenever to tell people because they don't want to deal with the discussing a miscarriage.

Like I said, for me and in my miscarriages the hardest thing was just pretending that nothing was wrong. The news got around at work quick, most people said nothing or I am sorry....but everyone knew enough to understand if I was not up to my cheery self. In contrast, once we learned we might terminate I was not ready to share with people...but it was hard and I got a lot of people insisting that I smile, cheer up, asking what was wrong...etc. I wasn't ready to share, but if I had I actually think it would have been easier emotionally at work...people would know, the news would get around and no one would ask me things I didn't know how to answer.

[gustava]

Do ya'll think that Kelly has regular periods at her age? When I started into perimenopause, my periods became irregular. If hers are not regular, do you suppose she pees on a stick pretty much every day?

[Austin]

Why am I hung up on this? Because the problem with the bates family isn't that they told people...it is the moralizing they do when they tell people. Is it in poor taste to post on your blog when the pee is barely dry? I can't imagine how. Because you might make people uncomfortable when you are the 1/4 pregnancies that ends in miscarriage? Well I just don't think that is poor taste. If people are ok with friends, family and whoever meanders by knowing they are pregnant that is their personal preference. If they take that opportunity to point out that being pregnant, becoming a martyr of militant fecundity, and making a sideshow out of your grief is in poor taste.

Those are your personal sensibilities and other people have different ones. For me, I consider it in poor taste to blast it over the internet at a very early stage and I have my reasons as I'm sure those who disagree with me have theirs. Everyone is free to do as they please. These are just differences of opinion.