Brandy's back!

[jockosmom]

Brandy has no work ethic. Jason appears to have a nugget of work ethic, in that he has been able to find basic employment and hold onto it until they decide to re-invent themselves. But she has no interest in finding a job or working at anything. Work ethic is a strange thing. I always thought that it was learned behavior - that you learned from watching your parents get up every morning and go to work that that's how the world turns. I've worked since I was 18. I don't have a college degree but have never had trouble getting clerical work. I've also worked in a fast food restaurant and that job, even though the pay sucked, taught me a lot. Except for taking breaks to give birth to three children, I've always worked and assumed that I had that area covered as far as my children went. Wrong. My youngest son is 32 and has little, if any, work ethic. I can't begin to count the number of jobs he's had by now. Usually he quits or gets fired for being mouthy, disrespectful, lazy on the job, etc. etc. When somebody seems to be hard-wired with that entitlement/lazy attitude, I don't know how you get through to them and change that. I don't have much hope for Hippie Brandy if she's that type. I just hope her girls don't suffer because of their mother's laziness.

[Sola]

Brandy says that they want jobs that they love. Thing is Brandy most people don't have jobs they love. Especially when they dont have a college education and a lousy employment history. Most people have a job which they do because they have to, not for enjoyment and they do these shitty jobs to provide for their family. *shakes head*

[Dysfundamental]

Where in NH does this lazy ass woman live? .

Wolfeboro. Agree that it is ridiculous neither she nor the husband have picked up so much as a shift at a Christmas tree farm or doing gift wrapping.

So Jason grew up in South Carolina, the Internet tells me. I wonder why the parents moved (back?) to NH?

[bea]

Brandy says that they want jobs that they love. Thing is Brandy most people don't have jobs they love. Especially when they dont have a college education and a lousy employment history. Most people have a job which they do because they have to, not for enjoyment and they do these shitty jobs to provide for their family. *shakes head*

QFT. I mean, if you end up getting a job you love, great. But even people with a "calling" to do what they do don't always love what they do every day.

My MIL never finished her formal education and has worked in factories for the last 15 years, after her youngest was in school full time and she divorced my philandering FIL. She doesn't LOVE her job, God knows, but she goes every day and she makes friends with the other employees and works hard because she has to make money. So she can eat and have a car and get health insurance and all that crazy shit.

How hard is it to understand? Sometimes you have to work at things you hate in order to make ends meet. And it's just something you do, especially if you've got kids, because feeling personally fulfilled at work is way less important than food on the table, a roof over your head, and access to medical care.

What's her new blog URL, BTW?

[Mustang Sally]

It's interesting about jobs you love. Usually, in order to get one you love, it's easier to do it from within the workforce than to try to conjure one into existence from whole cloth. Working primes the pump and opens up doors so you can make your way to what you love.

[bea]

Working primes the pump and opens up doors so you can make your way to what you love.

Now that's just LOGIC. Probably Satanic.

What's the "FREE Christian" thing about, anyway? Free as in church-free?

[fundiefan]

It's interesting about jobs you love. Usually, in order to get one you love, it's easier to do it from within the workforce than to try to conjure one into existence from whole cloth. Working primes the pump and opens up doors so you can make your way to what you love.

I agree with that completely but I would also add that in a lot of cases, education - in a an educational institution with professors, other students, student groups and opportunities, does the same thing.

Circumstances mean I do not have a job I love and am just paying the bills. There was a time though that my job led me to an interest and the revealing of a real talent which I eventually chose to pursue in college. College then opened so many more fields and options within that area of interest.

I chose not to pursue it as a career only because I made other choices for my family at the time that meant I wasn't working at all.

Some day, when I'm back on my feet and/or more willing to take a giant leap, I will go back to pursuing that talent as a way to make a living. It will take baby steps and I will still have to keep my day job for a long time, if not forever.

But, anyway, an actual education does more to assist with a job one loves than sitting on your ass waiting for money or someone else to take care of you.

[J'ean Skirt]

Brandy says that they want jobs that they love. Thing is Brandy most people don't have jobs they love. Especially when they dont have a college education and a lousy employment history. Most people have a job which they do because they have to, not for enjoyment and they do these shitty jobs to provide for their family. *shakes head*

I have a job I "love" == FSVO "love." I mean, I have a business I run with my husband and have a lot of flexibility in picking clients and choosing what work I want to do. It's also damn hard work, clients can be the most frustrating people on the planet (probably not as frustrating as kids, but much less fulfilling...) and we're essentially on-call all the time. I mean, we've had one vacation that didn't involve family or work obligations in 11 years.

I wouldn't change it, but there is no such thing as the "perfect job you love." Even if it is something you are called to do, and have lots of control over there are still parts of that job that aren't a lot of fun.

But, y'know what? If you're an adult, you suck it up and deal.

Brandy? Not an adult. Jason? Not an adult. The worst part is those kids are neglected and essentially abandoned. Hopefully, the extended family will help with that, though.

[acheronbeach]

She's fucking disgusting. I know I sound harsh, but she is. This is a woman who - from her own writings, no less - comes across as a self-obsessed, lazy slob.

Keep your kids in a tent? Take free housing from the in laws and then whine about them? Refuse to work because you want to "write" and you want a "job you love"? No, that's not being an indolent parasite, that's being minimalistic! And those who criticize are the ones with a problem, we need to * live*.

Guess what? I'd love to be a writer. I thought a lot about it when I was younger. But then I grew up and delegated "fucking around and not getting paid" to my spare time... and I don't even have kids.

[Minerva]

Your first few jobs are almost guaranteed to be jobs you don't love. Even if you have well off parents and are one of those geniuses who gets tons of scholarships, and you therefore never have to work until you have a degree...even then you'll probably have to try different things before you find something you love. The rest of us will also probably have to switch career paths a couple times before we find something we love, but on top of that we'll have to take at least a few jobs we know we won't love. Summer jobs in high school, working to pay our way through university, entry level jobs before we can work out way up, jobs to keep things together while we wait for the right opportunity to come along, jobs that pay the other half of the bill while out beloved job isn't quite making ends meet.

With the economy the way it is right now, people have to settle even more for jobs they hate. And it's freaking hard to get a job, even in urban centres it's hard sometimes. When I got my current fast food job, after months of fruitless searching, it was supposed to only be a temporary gig, but I've been there for years now because if I quit I'll probably be screwed for the better part of a year all over again. Saving yourself for the perfect job was hardly feasible before the recession, don't expect to manage it now. As long as the income offsets the money you need to put out to do the job in the first place (cab fare/public transit/car costs, childcare, your uniform), I'd do it. I get that sometimes it's not worth it - I once turned down a job because I'd only be making 8$ a night starting off, there was no guarantee I'd ever make more than that, and cab fare would have been at least twice that just to get to the job.

[bea]

Your first few jobs are almost guaranteed to be jobs you don't love.

My first job was telemarketing. My second job was as a visitation clerk in a prison. For death row.

Yeah, not exactly the kind of stuff you love.

[Witsec7]

Your first few jobs are almost guaranteed to be jobs you don't love. Even if you have well off parents and are one of those geniuses who gets tons of scholarships, and you therefore never have to work until you have a degree...even then you'll probably have to try different things before you find something you love. The rest of us will also probably have to switch career paths a couple times before we find something we love, but on top of that we'll have to take at least a few jobs we know we won't love. Summer jobs in high school, working to pay our way through university, entry level jobs before we can work out way up, jobs to keep things together while we wait for the right opportunity to come along, jobs that pay the other half of the bill while out beloved job isn't quite making ends meet.

With the economy the way it is right now, people have to settle even more for jobs they hate. And it's freaking hard to get a job, even in urban centres it's hard sometimes. When I got my current fast food job, after months of fruitless searching, it was supposed to only be a temporary gig, but I've been there for years now because if I quit I'll probably be screwed for the better part of a year all over again. Saving yourself for the perfect job was hardly feasible before the recession, don't expect to manage it now. As long as the income offsets the money you need to put out to do the job in the first place (cab fare/public transit/car costs, childcare, your uniform), I'd do it. I get that sometimes it's not worth it - I once turned down a job because I'd only be making 8$ a night starting off, there was no guarantee I'd ever make more than that, and cab fare would have been at least twice that just to get to the job.

^This.

Brandy is largely clueless about what it takes to build a career and how hard one has to work to earn a living wage. I'll suggest she's never been self supporting. (But let's wait and see the response she posts to this tomorrow.) I will also suggest that she wouldn't be caught dead in a community college honing her skills. But who knows if she even has a HS diploma or a GED. Her attitudes about education are largely exampled by the way she is educating her own kids.

[Minerva]

My second job was as a visitation clerk in a prison. For death row.

That literally sounds like the worst job ever.

[fundiefan]

I don't have kids either. But, in order to, you know, support myself and not have to sponge off family or friends I have: driven a delivery van for a microfilm company, worked as a hostess in a restaurant, worked as a waitress in a bar, worked as a waitress in several different restaurants at several different times, worked at Kohl's, cleaned houses, worked in a grocery store, worked in a bakery and worked for a florist. I've also been an IT Support professional, a technical writer, a tutor, a CSR and an now, an Administrative Assistant. A job I started working as a temp because I was unemployed and took the first thing that came along; it then became permanent. Staying in the job was never questioned once offered. It is about as far from my dream job, or even a job I am (over) qualified to do, as it can get. But, I do it and I will continue to do it every single day.

Guess how many of those jobs I've 'loved'? Guess how much it mattered?

Then guess how many times I had to move in with someone else and have them support my ass?

I'm not opposed to assistance when needed; I've been very fortunate to have some family and friends help me out in times of desperate need. Help is not the same as moving in and living off them though.

What was that Brandy said in the latest post...she's got ideas for making money at home, once she...learns how to do it? Honey, you don't just learn to do something then suddenly make a living at it. But, people don't generally live in a dream world either.

[Mustang Sally]

I've had some interesting jobs, many of them not at all lovable. I worked in factories, in a deli and lots of other food service, as a temp at a million different offices, and retail. I eventually found what I was interested in, got an education in it, and now I have a job I love, well, actually a career. I worked those jobs before I went to school and while I was in school, and now I get to do what I truly want (though it's true I do have a lot of student loan debt to repay. But, onward and upward!)

[CoatRack]

I've been following the Brandy saga since I first found FJ. She kind of fascinates me in this weird way. I was kicked out of my Assemblies of God church when I was in middle school (ask me how much I care) and did the "I will be ALL the kinds of Christian!" for a couple years... but it stopped by the time I was 14. I probably sounded a lot like Brandy then... but I didn't have kids, and again, I was 14.

I'm 25 and in grad school while working part-time at a bookstore and and as a nanny in the evenings for a couple kids in exchange for a room to live in (and a couple cats to sit on my feet while I write papers). It's not a perfect job situation but I would say it's about as perfect as I could hope for. But I did initially have a hard time learning to really work. My home growing up had this very "good things happen to us because We Are Good Christians" attitude and if something bad or hard came up it was because we were doing something wrong and not just because sometimes things are hard. I'm now in grad school to (hopefully) be able to do what I love. But I'm not idealistic about what that means; even if I love a job that doesn't mean I'll love every aspect of that job.

My younger siblings (19 and 20), raised in the same house I was, are very much like Brandy. My brother won't take a job unless it's perfect and totally fits in with his schedule. My sister keeps starting and dropping out of community college classes and has quit every job she's had after a couple weeks. I know they're young but the behavior reminds me exactly of Brandy. There is an excuse, a reason, an explanation for everything in the world.

Was Brandy raised in a very Christian home?

[fundiefun]

I've been following the Brandy saga since I first found FJ. She kind of fascinates me in this weird way. I was kicked out of my Assemblies of God church when I was in middle school (ask me how much I care) and did the "I will be ALL the kinds of Christian!" for a couple years... but it stopped by the time I was 14. I probably sounded a lot like Brandy then... but I didn't have kids, and again, I was 14.

I'm 25 and in grad school while working part-time at a bookstore and and as a nanny in the evenings for a couple kids in exchange for a room to live in (and a couple cats to sit on my feet while I write papers). It's not a perfect job situation but I would say it's about as perfect as I could hope for. But I did initially have a hard time learning to really work. My home growing up had this very "good things happen to us because We Are Good Christians" attitude and if something bad or hard came up it was because we were doing something wrong and not just because sometimes things are hard. I'm now in grad school to (hopefully) be able to do what I love. But I'm not idealistic about what that means; even if I love a job that doesn't mean I'll love every aspect of that job.

My younger siblings (19 and 20), raised in the same house I was, are very much like Brandy. My brother won't take a job unless it's perfect and totally fits in with his schedule. My sister keeps starting and dropping out of community college classes and has quit every job she's had after a couple weeks. I know they're young but the behavior reminds me exactly of Brandy. There is an excuse, a reason, an explanation for everything in the world.

Was Brandy raised in a very Christian home?

From what I recall on her other blog before it went way side it's very sad she was raised in a home with an alcoholic and emotionally abusive father. He was very cruel to her and she grew up being called fat, pig,etc. It's heart breaking to think about growing up in that kind of environment and the emotional scars from that would last a lifetime.

[Wolfie]

Their attitude toward jobs reminds me of some family members who jump from job to job with two kids. They're currently living in a house that family owns (which causes some tension among family members too), but at least have their older child in a state preschool.

As another family member said about the couple I mentioned, "They're playing house." They both are very immature and want everything handed to them, and the husband's mom does hand as much as she can to him. It's especially sad for the children involved.

[starfish]

Things weren't always easy for Brandy growing up, and she has some pretty deep emotional scars from it. As far as I can tell, from the outside looking in.

She needs some long-term psychological help, some counseling.

I'm rooting for her, but I hate watching her let those cute daughters grow up in the way they are. No education, no chances, no security.

[ilovetchotchkes]

That literally sounds like the worst job ever.

Seconded.

Honestly? i've worked my share of "Shit jobs" and some of them were in offices. Some of them were food service. But I did what the fuck I had to do to pay the damn rent. And even at a very stupid 20 I was smart enough to know I needed a job.

[Katydid]

Things weren't always easy for Brandy growing up, and she has some pretty deep emotional scars from it. As far as I can tell, from the outside looking in.

She needs some long-term psychological help, some counseling.

I'm rooting for her, but I hate watching her let those cute daughters grow up in the way they are. No education, no chances, no security.

Speaking as someone who has been in therapy, a bad background is horrible, but she still needs to take responsibility for the choices she has made as an adult that has gotten her to this point, and to work to move past them and create a better future.

There's no future in being a victim.

[Loveday]

They say comparisons are odious (no idea why, I like comparisons!), but I'm reading all this about Brandy and her non-work ethic and comparing her to my daughter, who's 21 now. Please excuse the following brag, but I can't help it, I'm so proud of her. :oops: She's been working one way or another since she was 13, first for tips on bingo nights in the parish hall (girl could rake in some tips, let me tell you!), then babysitting, and finally at her first 'real job' at 16, at Tropical Smoothie. She's also worked at our local amphitheatre every summer for the past three years, and will probably be an assistant manager there next summer, and will most likely look for a second job as well, since working the amp isn't 40 hours a week. She's in college full time, three states away, and works three different part-time jobs on campus to help with expenses (they're each only a few hours a week--she has plenty of time for studying and all the fun stuff of college! :lol: ). This girl just never sits still, I get tired just thinking about everything she does. :lol:

THAT, Brandy, is a work ethic. I'd suggest you try to develop one even half as strong as my daughter's, but somehow I think it may be too late. Very sad, for both you and your kids.

[Ex 2x2]

You know, we really would be ridiculous if we were saying (or even implying) that her kids need a huge house and tons of things, as she says in her last blogpost. I haven't seen anyone say that. We are simply saying those kids deserve a home, not a tent. I completely agree with her that we live in a gimmee society and most of us need less than what we think we need. She acts like she has a 3 bedroom house and we are critical that she doesn't have a huge mansion. Not even close.

She drives me crazy with her gratuitous use of the F-word. We get it....you are cool, you cuss, great. Something about the way she does it though is ridiculous.

[Ex 2x2]

jockosmom,

I know what you mean. My grandparents were the hardest working people you could ever meet, and of my dad's siblings, he is the only one with their work ethic. The rest of them are lazy and entitled. They didn't learn that from their parents.

[StarrieEyedKat]

I don't have a super duper stellar work ethic, right now I'm home being a mom and we're lucky that we're able to get by on my husband's paycheck and I'm quite happy that I don't have to work. But you know what? I still worked from the age of 14 until I had two children at age 25. And when the kids are old enough to go to school (or if husband is layed off or something), then I'll get my ass back to work.

Brandy and Jason are the reason people on welfare/getting unemployment have such a bad image.