Famy has memorial service pictures up *spoilers*

[donks]

And how could she go into labor naturally if the fetus was only viable for 16 weeks, and in there dead for 3 more? She would have had to have had something to kick start her labor, yes?

[donks]

I don't understand the timeline either. Plus, it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand how Michelle could have been sent home with a deceased for three weeks fetus (if "Jubilee" was measuring 16 weeks and she was 19 weeks), to labor at home naturally, four days later. Plus, then this three, now almost four week, deceased fetus comes out with perfectly formed hands and feet, the size of which belie her gestational age.

Nothing about this makes any sense and I don't believe any of it either. I don't even really believe that Michelle was pregnant (or maybe she was for a few weeks), but that this became a publicity stunt to both promote their anti-choice agenda and try to stir up controversy to keep the money train going. Either way, it's all nonsense and BS, me thinks.

I have said this all along!!!!

[Arielkay]

Jimbob wants another one so that they don't have an odd number of children.

head/desk

[Nuthatch1]

See that's my question too. I don't think a nearly four week dead in utero fetus looks so fetus-like upon delivery, and I don't for a moment believe one just drops it out at home like that. It just makes me go a little bit bonkers with the truth stretching and outright lying of this family.

At this point, no one knows the truth, except maybe the doctors, if there were any (questionable in my book) and the Boob and DQ. Other than that, the whole trainwreck is a pile of mushy nonsensical strangeness at best.

[emmiedahl]

If the fetus died at 16 weeks, wouldn't it, you know, start to rot in there? Gangrene? The doctor would just send someone away to 'let nature take it's course'? Even if that took 3 weeks or whatever it took? IMagine walking around, knowing that there was a small clot of dead goo in you... YUK.

Seems like she would have had to be cleaned out immediately, before it set up a serious infection and killed her, too... Anyone?

It would start to decompose and I believe the tissue would be gradually absorbed if there is no infection. There is a chance of infection and the doctor would watch for it, looking for a fever and flu-like symptoms among other things. But a miscarriage that late would probably be handled in a hospital because of the bleeding issues. I almost bled to death with a miscarriage that was not as far along as Michelle's. As far as dates so, I was right on the cusp of my doctor's comfort level with let-nature-work vs. intervene, and I still ended up needing medical help. My body could not get rid of the placenta and fetal tissue, so I had blood and clots pouring out of me, like a faucet. It's not something to fuck with.

[Guest Anonymous]

Donks, I know when my sister's baby (one of twins) died in utero at 26 weeks my sister was really scared about how the baby would look once she was delivered. It took about two weeks for my sister to go into labor and nothing could stop it. My niece looked surprisingly normal. The nurses had her wrapped in a blanket so all I got to see was her face, head and her hands. I guess the womb really protects. I don't know about the rest of her body since I only saw those parts.

[icecreamycakeycake]

I would guess (hope) that they had a registered midwife/nurse there to assist Jill with the delivery. Someone had to deal with the remains, monitor J'chelle, and probably was the one who suggested she seek medical attention.

[gustava]

A little about me:

I've been married 21 years. We have 1 son, 19 who was planned and much anticipated.

I'm totally unfamiliar with miscarriages, luckily, so can someone answer this question I have?

If the fetus died at 16 weeks, wouldn't it, you know, start to rot in there? Gangrene? The doctor would just send someone away to 'let nature take it's course'? Even if that took 3 weeks or whatever it took? IMagine walking around, knowing that there was a small clot of dead goo in you... YUK.

Seems like she would have had to be cleaned out immediately, before it set up a serious infection and killed her, too... Anyone?

I believe the specific process was mentioned earlier on this thread or on another one. I'm not a medical person, but my understanding is that their is a natural process once the fetus is dead, and that what the fetus looks like depends on the number of days it's dead. Apparently, there is a likelihood that the dead fetus will be expelled as the woman's body recognizes the death. I don't believe that Jubilee is considered a miscarriage, based on the number of weeks; the woman expels the fetus. The pictures I saw on line were pretty ghastly.

Again, though. I'm far, far from knowledgeable.

[donks]

Thank you both for the info.

[Witsec7]

I was wandering about NILMDTS and most of the parents with fetuses that died at that gestational age knew the causes.

[treemom]

Here is another somewhat updated article.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2011/12/16/the-duggars-s-photo-of-their-stillborn-baby-ignites-debate.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

I have walked in a bereaved parents shoes. And I am comfortable with the photographs. I am just not comfortable with the famewhoring.

[Mama Mia]

An old friend of my children, a young woman in her early twenties, recently suffered the miscarriage of her twin babies at about 16 weeks. This was a few months ago. I was really shocked when on her facebook page today she had posted a picture of the two of them.

I know she has struggled incredibly with this loss, and her postings are always very sad, and she goes to many support groups. I really feel for her -- I was just very taken aback by seeing the photo of two tiny, tiny, tiny babies. The photo looked like it had been professionally done, probably by the hospital.

I don't know if she just got to a point where she wanted to share the photo with people, or if she had maybe seen/heard about the Duggar memorial and photos and that is why she did it ? She had a memorial a month or so after she lost them... I think at a beach or park.

I don't even know how I feel about this ... I guess if it is helpful to her, that's great. And everything on the planet is now on facebook --- but it still seemed very ..I guess disturbing is all I can come up with.

[Guest Anonymous]

The whole funeral smacks of a PUBLICITY STUNT!!! OMG!! These people are f-ing CRAZY!!! I feel so sorry for the Duggar children-no one should have to grow up in that environment.

:angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming: :angry-screaming:

[ChickeyMonkey]

When my grandmother died in 1996, we took a photo after the Buddhist burial service. We had a professional photographer, even. However, nobody (well, except my uncle's wife in her bright red dress) was smiling. Actually, there are a lot of photos from that day, and nobody is smiling. They also are not shared outside the family (AMY...).

It is also Japanese Buddhist tradition for funeral guests to give money at the funeral to help pay for the service and cremation (or burial in the US).

Anyway, that said, I just wanted to share that and say that these photos are incredibly fame-whorish and disrespectful.

When my FIL died in 2009, a professional photographer from the Vietnamese community was hired to take pictures. We all took turns taking pictures next to the casket. I can't remember if I smiled or not. If I did, it wasn't the big, toothy grin, it was more of a weary, sad, but programmed-to-smile-for-pictures smile. DVDs were made so that family members who couldn't make it to the funeral could still have it to view on their own. My oldest BIL's speech was included, along with music, and other pictures from when my FIL was a judge in VN.

A copy was sent to his brother in VN, since he couldn't come.

My husband took some pictures of my gma's burial, which I thought was weird at the time, but I think my mom said she was grateful that he took the pictures.

All these were just for family and close friends to have as a way to remember my FIL. But then, he wasn't "famous" like the Duggars. Although, he WAS in a clip of a PBS special about Vietnam and the fall of South Viet Nam and its aftermath for those who worked for the SVN government! My BIL happened to come across it simply by accident when watching the PBS special, I believe. He ordered the DVD, even though my FIL is only in it for a few seconds, but it's most definitely him. How strange is that!

[desertvixen]

My husband took some pictures of my gma's burial, which I thought was weird at the time, but I think my mom said she was grateful that he took the pictures.

I don't think there is anything weird about photographing a funeral - I took photos at my grandmother's funeral. At the service, however, no one is really smiling.

I did photograph my grandmother in the casket, but that was at the request of one of her children.

It's the creepy, gather-round everyone let's smile! aspect that bothers me about the Duggar photo.

[Buzzard]

It's the creepy, gather-round everyone let's smile! aspect that bothers me about the Duggar photo.

Whats even creepier is gather round, SMILE, then print it out and have your fans sign it, frame it, and hang it on a wall with your living children's pics.

[luv2laugh]

Is it just me or are none of the links working? I can't find any pictures of the memorial service.... It looks like they've all been taken down...

[JohnDeereGirl11]

What i found wierd is that mostly everyone is smiling and jordyn is covering her eyes poor baby. and mackynzie is covering hers ears. and you notice michelle is not holding josie as usual

[Buzzard]

Is it just me or are none of the links working? I can't find any pictures of the memorial service.... It looks like they've all been taken down...

Once Famy took them down it was just a matter of time. Lots of us have them saved offline, though.

[MarciaBrady]

and you notice michelle is not holding josie as usual

I'm willing to give Michelle a pass this one time because she just had a miscarriage and might not feel well enough to hold a squirming toddler. Although I do feel dirty for having defended her in any way.

I think I've read through every page of this thread, but forgive me if I missed this, but why doesn't anyone here seem upset that JimBob isn't holding one of his children? The moron is just standing there like he doesn't have a care in the world while other people are holding his toddlers. Why the hell isn't he holding one of them?

[GatorGutCasserole]

Jimbo was milking those remaining few seconds of the fifteen minutes of fame... *wishful thinking* Both 'parents' just ENJOYED the spotlight....

[snarkykitty]

Looks like Dianne has left Facebook. Her profile doesn't come up, and everywhere she posted has been stripped of her comments. Interesting.

[ChickeyMonkey]

I don't think there is anything weird about photographing a funeral - I took photos at my grandmother's funeral. At the service, however, no one is really smiling.

I did photograph my grandmother in the casket, but that was at the request of one of her children.

It's the creepy, gather-round everyone let's smile! aspect that bothers me about the Duggar photo.

My grandmother's funeral was the 2nd funeral I'd been to, the 1st being my husband's grandfather's the year before. At the cemetary, a lot of the great-grandchildren were posing and smiling like it was a party. THAT was weird.

As for my grandma's funeral, it was my first funeral for a close family member and I didn't have anything to compare it to, really. It was small, since many of their friends had passed on already, and both grandparents' families were either dead or in Texas or neighboring states. I just never thought of taking pictures at funerals before.

You all will probably think we're horrible, but my sister and I joked about how the make-up artist fixed up our grandma. The person did a wonderful job, it's just that the lipstick was the wrong color because our grandma used this lipstick that changed color when it was applied to your lips, and there was no way it would work on her at that time. Also, her brows were really brown. We both agreed she wouldn't have liked that, and found it humorous, but not disrespectful, if that makes sense.

I use humor to lighten awkward moments, and not everyone has the same type of humor or thinking that I do, which is why it was just me and my siblings who talked about it. And maybe my mom. I don't really remember.

The funeral pictures of my FIL didn't have any smiling, or at least very few. It's funny. Seeing him being placed in the casket from the gurney (my MIL followed some Buddhist rules about times when certain things were supposed to happen so that the deceased wouldn't have any trouble, or something, and placing the body in the casket from the gurney was one of those things) and having an open casket didn't bother me too much. Don't get me wrong, I was sad that he'd died (still am), but it didn't have the same effect as when the casket was put into the crematorium (correct word?). THAT'S the moment that hit the hardest. I guess I knew it was final at that point.

I wasn't close to my FIL, but I did like him. I'm sorry he passed away without my youngest getting to know him. My youngest was only 6 months at the time, so at the funeral and I put a onsie on him that said: "I love my grandpa" (you wouldn't believe how hard it was to find one of those! Everything is grandma, mom, and some dad). I thought that was better than buying a suit for an infant. At least it shows some thought, right? I hope my MIL appreciated it, because it was for her, too.

Wow, sorry to derail. Continue to discuss the Mullet and her lack of affect (TM Judge Judy).

[slickcat79]

I don't understand the timeline either. Plus, it doesn't make any sense. I don't understand how Michelle could have been sent home with a deceased for three weeks fetus (if "Jubilee" was measuring 16 weeks and she was 19 weeks), to labor at home naturally, four days later. Plus, then this three, now almost four week, deceased fetus comes out with perfectly formed hands and feet, the size of which belie her gestational age.

Nothing about this makes any sense and I don't believe any of it either. I don't even really believe that Michelle was pregnant (or maybe she was for a few weeks), but that this became a publicity stunt to both promote their anti-choice agenda and try to stir up controversy to keep the money train going. Either way, it's all nonsense and BS, me thinks.

Well, just because the fetus was measuring 16 weeks doesn't necessarily mean that it died at 16 weeks. It may have been measuring small because of the potential genetic abnormality that caused it to die in the first place, or it was just a smaller than average baby. It's also possible that Michelle originally thought she was 19 weeks, but wasn't really. Doctors have been known to change gestational ages and due dates based on fetal development and other factors.

I always thought it was weird that they would let her go home to miscarry naturally knowing that the fetus had already been dead for 3 weeks, so maybe that wasn't really the case. Doesn't mean that you're not right about the publicity stunt, I'm just sayin 8-)

[Austin]

Looks like Dianne has left Facebook. Her profile doesn't come up, and everywhere she posted has been stripped of her comments. Interesting.

No great loss there. What a loon. I don't understand these die-hard duggar apologists.