Bates 32: More Weddings, More Babies

[marmalade]

She still got there in time to do Kelly's hair, which looked very nice. 

[Cupcake79]

Were none of the Duggars at this wedding?

[justmy2cents]

4 hours ago, Cupcake79 said:

Were none of the Duggars at this wedding?

Josiah is seen in a picture from the rehearsal dinner.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I do think Jackson was friends with at least one of the howlers. Maybe Jason? It was it James? I can’t remember. 

[JDuggs]

Jackson worked for Jason in Arkansas, so he probably was close to many of the Duggars. Whichever Duggar was up for a trip to Florida at this time would probably attend. It seems like Jessa and Joy were just recently in FL with their families, so most likely not them. 

[SoSoNosy]

Were Michael and Brandon at the wedding?  Alyssa said something about "all 12" of the married family being there together for the first time, or something along those lines, but I didn't see M&B mentioned anywhere.

[JermajestyDuggar]

19 minutes ago, SoSoNosy said:

Were Michael and Brandon at the wedding?  Alyssa said something about "all 12" of the married family being there together for the first time, or something along those lines, but I didn't see M&B mentioned anywhere.

Yes. She’s posted a lot of pics. It looked like Michael did most of the childcare at the wedding and rehearsal dinner. Like I figured she would. 

[SoSoNosy]

Thank you!  I have no idea how to follow any of them except Carlin and Evan and I just kind of stumbled across them.

[marmalade]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Yes. She’s posted a lot of pics. It looked like Michael did most of the childcare at the wedding and rehearsal dinner. Like I figured she would. 

I guess an adult had to man the bouncy house. And of course, that adult was Michael.

eta No, she hasn't posted pics from wedding day, but based on rehearsal day, she watched the kids. 

Edited October 17, 2023 by marmalade

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, marmalade said:

I guess an adult had to man the bouncy house. And of course, that adult was Michael.

I understand that Michael loves children. But it has to be frustrating at some point. Knowing how Kelly is, I bet she’s never asked to be the child minder. I’m sure everyone just assumes it every time. 

Edited October 17, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[marmalade]

Yeah, they definitely take Michael for granted. 

[BeccaGrim]

Alyssa had Ellie solo before the wedding. They got dressed up and went to the Cheesecake factory (all per her YouTube video). She's very pretty. How old is she now? I had the thought she was next up to advertise for a husband. But Addallee is older right? 

[marmalade]

I want to say that Addee is 18, and Ellie is 17. 

[SassyPants]

On 10/16/2023 at 6:23 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I understand that Michael loves children. But it has to be frustrating at some point. Knowing how Kelly is, I bet she’s never asked to be the child minder. I’m sure everyone just assumes it every time. 

I don’t know why this bugs me so much, but I’ll try to explain. All Gil and KJ could talk about was uncontrolled reproduction and what blessings babies bring to families. Of course they relied on the labor of their older children to raise the many children that followed. Now that their kids are reproducing like mad, why don’t KJ (or GIL) think that they should help care for all these little blessings? They sure show up when the baby is entering the world, but that seems the last bit of help the GPs ever give-

Maybe the parents don’t want Gil or KJ watching their little ones? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 hours ago, SassyPants said:

I don’t know why this bugs me so much, but I’ll try to explain. All Gil and KJ could talk about was uncontrolled reproduction and what blessings babies bring to families. Of course they relied on the labor of their older children to raise the many children that followed. Now that their kids are reproducing like mad, why don’t KJ (or GIL) think that they should help care for all these little blessings? They sure show up when the baby is entering the world, but that seems the last bit of help the GPs ever give-

Maybe the parents don’t want Gil or KJ watching their little ones? 

Kelly is one of the few that didn’t seem to get much help with the kids when they were young from her mother or mother in law. So she relied heavily on Michael. Many of the quiverful moms on FJ got help from their mothers or mothers in law but won’t be helping their own kids as a grandparent. Grandma Mary was living in the Duggar house doing laundry 24/7. But would Michelle do that for her kids? Fuck no. Braggie’s mom helped raise her kids. But will Braggie do that for her own kids when they have families? No way. Zoo’s mother in law always flew in for a couple weeks to stay and help when she had a baby. But would zoo do that for her kids? I don’t think so. Even jill seemed to get some help from her parents but when she has to return the help, she is always trying to push it into Kaylee, her aunts, or her sisters. These quiverful women are so entitled. They think because they chose to have 19 kids then someone in their family should help them. But if anyone else needs help, they are the last in line to help. 

 

Edited October 20, 2023 by Destiny
fix whoopsie merge

[Zebedee]

20 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Many of the quiverful moms on FJ got help from their mothers or mothers in law but won’t be helping their own kids as a grandparent.

True, and partly that is because they have 17283 children who need their help, whereas their mothers had two. But also, I don’t think any of these QF mothers feel they *should* help any of their kids, really. They are happy to take help from their own mothers, and they sure as hell expected it, and will expect it in later life, from their own kids (with their own 16384 children). Put themselves out to help their „blessings“? Nah, the blessings just need to pray more, and remember that they owe their lives to the supreme birthgiver/impregnator.
 

Well, that is what it seems like anyway. Aside from how these people wantonly create children for their *own* salvation, and deliberately stunt said children with their „homeschooling“, parentification, and stealing their childhoods, they are also stunningly selfish in how they return the „favours“ their children did, and what they expect from them as adults. I guess as long as you are creating the birthers of the Jesus Army and future Rep. politicans and voters, you‘ve done your godly duty, and fuck the intentionally dependent baseball teams of abused children you‘ve created. I know there is no need to rant here, of all places, about these awful people, but sometimes, you know, it is just overwhelming how atrocious they are.

 

The „funniest“ thing to me is that I do not really like children. I mean, I am nice to them, they like me, we get on fine etc, but I prefer, generally, not to be around them. They are absolutely not blessings, to me. My own child would be a curse - hence why I didn’t try for any. I still think I would be a better parent than these  „too many children is like too many flowers“ types. That should be hard, but the bar is just soo low. Yet, these people treat them worse than I could ever in nightmares-where-i-am-a-psychopath. And they claim to be godly, and following the examples of those notorious QFers, Jesus and Paul? And not the kids who grew up in it, but the first gen. types, like KJ/Gil, JB/Mich, Mandrae/Karissa. And they get tens, to hundreds of thousand, and more, „fans“? Wtf is that about? How are there so many fans of literal child abuse and grooming?

[Melissa1977]

On 10/20/2023 at 12:35 AM, SassyPants said:

Maybe the parents don’t want Gil or KJ watching their little ones? 

Kelly didn't mothered most of her kids. Not only she forced the sistermom system, but also used the Enzo training method, that basically meant leaving babies crying until someone feed them at scheduled hours. If I recall  correctly, in the old videos she never held any of her babies/toddlers. Gil looked more on hands ( at least hold them) but I very much doubt he is willing to look after grandkids.

Anyway, when Whitney and Zach both were working out of home, Bradley and Kaci were often at Bates' home. Kelly passive-agressively complained in IG (she posted a picture of the kids, saying they were always at her home because parents jobs, et...). 

[Kiki03910]

Watching 2020 BUB episodes. I might have a masochistic streak that I was unaware of. Their fake concern about covid is pretty redic given they constantly gathered in huge groups.

Carlin's time as a blonde was ... bad. She's such a pretty woman, but that hair looked like a cheap wig. Like if Donald Trump had gone into the wig business.

Nathan's partner Esther was suspiciously tan in the winter. What is Gothard's opinion on tanning beds? And does he like beef jerky? And have all the older Bates boys fucked up at least 1 courtship? (I wouldn't call it fucking up except for their stupid rules. I imagine most of us here had prior relationships before our current partners.)

This shit is a trainwreck. I watch on Tubi for free, so at least I'm not supporting them. It's sad. I do love reading all your takes, though!

 

Also I just realized that I'm 23 cats and counting. That's how many cats I've either rescued or adopted. And they've all gotten way more attention and love than any Gothard kid.

[JermajestyDuggar]

42 minutes ago, Kiki03910 said:

Watching 2020 BUB episodes. I might have a masochistic streak that I was unaware of. Their fake concern about covid is pretty redic given they constantly gathered in huge groups.

Carlin's time as a blonde was ... bad. She's such a pretty woman, but that hair looked like a cheap wig. Like if Donald Trump had gone into the wig business.

Nathan's partner Esther was suspiciously tan in the winter. What is Gothard's opinion on tanning beds? And does he like beef jerky? And have all the older Bates boys fucked up at least 1 courtship? (I wouldn't call it fucking up except for their stupid rules. I imagine most of us here had prior relationships before our current partners.)

This shit is a trainwreck. I watch on Tubi for free, so at least I'm not supporting them. It's sad. I do love reading all your takes, though!

 

Also I just realized that I'm 23 cats and counting. That's how many cats I've either rescued or adopted. And they've all gotten way more attention and love than any Gothard kid.

I don’t think Gothard said anything about tanning. I remember when Jinger went through a tanning phase before marriage. I would bet tanning beds were utilized by fundie young women because they all had pretty strong tan lines due to wearing wholesome wear at the beach. I remember a long time ago the unmarried but adult Bates girls rolling their short sleeves up so they basically had sleeveless shirts. They were out in the sun and I assumed it was for tanning purposes. 

[Zebedee]

9 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

Like if Donald Trump had gone into the wig business.

Don’t mind me dying of laughter over here. I never saw Carlin as a blonde, but the image this is giving me is too funny!

[GuineaPigCourtship]

14 hours ago, Kiki03910 said:

And have all the older Bates boys fucked up at least 1 courtship?

Zach had one, Nathan had one, and Trace had one.  I don't think we have any other confirmed courtship failures, but there have been vague posts about heartbreak from at least Lawson and one other.

[gobucks]

You know what is so obnoxious and hypocritical about these people? The guys are all obsessed with Tennessee football and Lawson will sing the national anthem for TN baseball games, etc, but Erin wasn't allowed to accept her scholarship there "because of weird people with green hair". It is such BS. They are too "good" and "godly" for the school but they can make the football team their entire personality. 

[Kiki03910]

Not sure where to put this and I'm sure it's been discussed before, but Dr Vick creeps me the fuck out. Professionals shouldn't be always zooming in for a hug WHAT THE FUCK. Did Jesus tell him to do that?

I had an allergist who was super nice until about 2 years in when he started wanting to hug at the beginning and end of every appointment. It didn't matter if I stepped backward or tried to offer a handshake instead, the motherfucker always got in my space. "You're my favorite patient!" And yet I didn't "fire" him until the day he told me I needed to get rid of my cat or he would stop seeing me as a patient.

I'm an assertive, strong, mouthy, no-bullshit feminist. Why did I put up with this shit? Why did I only make a stand when my baby cat Mija was threatened?

I feel bad that I never reported that asshole. Apparently watching creeper Dr Vick triggered me. Sorry, guys!

Edited October 25, 2023 by Kiki03910

[JermajestyDuggar]

44 minutes ago, Kiki03910 said:

Not sure where to put this and I'm sure it's been discussed before, but Dr Vick creeps me the fuck out. Professionals shouldn't be always zooming in for a hug WHAT THE FUCK. Did Jesus tell him to do that?

I had an allergist who was super nice until about 2 years in when he started wanting to hug at the beginning and end of every appointment. It didn't matter if I stepped backward or tried to offer a handshake instead, the motherfucker always got in my space. "You're my favorite patient!" And yet I didn't "fire" him until the day he told me I needed to get rid of my cat or he would stop seeing me as a patient.

I'm an assertive, strong, mouthy, no-bullshit feminist. Why did I put up with this shit? Why did I only make a stand when my baby cat Mija was threatened?

I feel bad that I never reported that asshole. Apparently watching creeper Dr Vick triggered me. Sorry, guys!

I get it. I’m not touchy at all. I have a huge personal space bubble. I think I give off the vibe that I’m no touch because most people I don’t know well never want to touch me any more than a quick hand shake at most. I was at my worst when pregnant. So that meant no one tried to touch my belly. I probably looked like I would rip off the fingers of anyone who tried. I know I looked mean as hell when pregnant because I was miserable. 
 

Also don’t feel bad that you didn’t leave the practice sooner. We are conditioned from birth to accept these types of boundary stomping from men as something women just need to do. It’s very common. I hope things change. Girls need to be taught to stand up for their personal boundaries. 

Edited October 25, 2023 by JermajestyDuggar

[Kiki03910]

11 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I get it. I’m not touchy at all. I have a huge personal space bubble. I think I give off the vibe that I’m no touch because most people I don’t know we’ll never want to touch me any more than a quick hand shake at most. I was at my worst when pregnant. So that meant no one tried to touch my belly. I probably looked like I would rip off the fingers of anyone who tried. I know I looked mean as hell when pregnant because I was miserable. 

I hear you! I'm actually super affectionate with people I'm close to. I'll cuddle my bestie while holding hands. I hug all my people. But if I'm not close to someone, forced contact makes my skin crawl. And I don't have kids, but the idea of someone touching my stomach uninvited is *screams*.

Edited October 25, 2023 by Kiki03910