Erin and Chad 10: Will they homeschool?

[JDuggs]

Whitney and Carlin (and now Zach and Evan) put a lot of time into the running of BSB. Whitney and Carlin probably saw their little side hustle becoming actually successful and wanted to go all in. I don’t think Erin envisioned BSB as a real job that would take away time from her stay at home mom homeschooling lifestyle. I also think Whitney and Carlin were fine with the dresses getting a little shorter based on what was selling whereas Erin probably wanted to stick with the modesty vision for BSB.  I think Erin and Chad together decided that Erin having a business that took too much time away from the family wasn’t what they both wanted. Her little religious card business is more aligned with their Christian ministry values and the amount of time it takes to run the business fits better into their lifestyle. I think there’s bad blood because Carlin and Whitney didn’t agree with Erin’s vision for BSB and told her they wanted to grow the business with or without her.

 

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

My gut feeling on this is Erin (and Chad) was very disapproving of the less modest turn the boutique was taking plus that boutique was sorta making everything christ centered somehow. She is so freaking holier than thou! 

I suspect Erin was actually the leader in that vs Chad. I think Chad may agree with her completely or whisper in her ear so to speak "is this where we want our family to be heading?" But I have a hard time imaging Chad being the leader at all in their marriage or Chad putting his foot down directly. He has gone along with so much nonsense that we know about. It would seem very out of character to suddenly have this be where he draws a hard line.

[Cupcake79]

I don’t know about the boutique, but at some point last year(?) they had a break from YouTube and my interpretation is that that was Chad’s idea. I got the feeling that Erin would have wanted to keep doing YouTube. The break wasn’t that long and I’d say it was money, or lack thereof, that made them restart their channel.

[WatchingTheTireFireBurn]

32 minutes ago, Cupcake79 said:

I don’t know about the boutique, but at some point last year(?) they had a break from YouTube and my interpretation is that that was Chad’s idea. I got the feeling that Erin would have wanted to keep doing YouTube. The break wasn’t that long and I’d say it was money, or lack thereof, that made them restart their channel.

They restarted with a supposed extra bonus godliness. 

I think it was our collective impression it was Chad's idea. But I dont think we had much to go on.

[Jackie3]

On 5/20/2023 at 7:50 AM, WatchingTheTireFireBurn said:

I suspect Erin was actually the leader in that vs Chad. I think Chad may agree with her completely or whisper in her ear so to speak "is this where we want our family to be heading?" But I have a hard time imaging Chad being the leader at all in their marriage or Chad putting his foot down directly. He has gone along with so much nonsense that we know about. It would seem very out of character to suddenly have this be where he draws a hard line.

Well, honestly, this is a good thing. I'm happy to see a fundie family where the wife isn't submitting. I dont' know why we are critical when we find a family where the wife wears the pants. I think it's great!

 

[freethemall]

On 5/14/2023 at 7:25 PM, Sabine said:

I am one of these 'infertile' persons, my friend offered me her body literally to carry, incubate and birth a child for me. Now, firstly surrogate mothers have died doing that, to state just that straight out of the door. Secondly, the mother - err the birthing body or what ever is the preferred term for womb rental/lease/gift - will bond to the child. Third, mothers - or birthing bodies, or womb carriers, or baby growing factory, or sentient incubators (choose what ever term applies best to each and everyone - i have herd all of these terms used to replace 'mother')  can die during child birth, may suffer mental ill health after giving birth and having that infant taken from them. 

No matter how desperate i would be to have a child, this is not someting i would ask of a sister, a friend, or even just a stranger to do. 

IT is the height of patriarchy to rent the womb of an often poor women (Ukraine was the capital of people wishing to buy life infants of breeding agencies and their cattle before the war started, India stopped doing commercial surrogacies as 'parents' refused to pick up children that were 'compromised' i.e. not in good health or maybe not 'perfect' or of the wrong 'sex') and it is the height of hypocrisy to pretend to being against human trafficking and then going to buy a life infant and take it god knows where by god knows whom. 

I never took my friend up on this offer as i wanted her to live, raise her own beautiful children, and i did not wanted to see her suffer emotionally and mentally by having a child that she carried and birthed taken away by me after the birth.

 

Btw, the handmaids in Atwoods Dystopia are keeping their children for a few weeks to be breastfed. We don't even give that courtesy to these bought children of rented wombs. 

Maybe Michaela and her husband are quietly happy about not having to greet a new blessing every 18 month, and just make the nessesary noises about having a child one day just to keep everyone believing that they too want to be parents of many many. Maybe they really don't care about not having children. And maybe they are the couple who will allow other fundi couples to come to grips with the reality tht 'god' sometimes does not bestow many blessings on people even if they are good decent god fearing people. 

 

India to ban commercial surrogacy https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32216696/

Won't nobody think of the poor women who only have womb rental to negotiate for an income https://time.com/6075971/commercial-surrogacy-ban-india/#:~:text=In 2019%2C the government revived,the lower house of Parliament.

Ukraine and the war effects on surrogacy https://www.economist.com/europe/2022/09/08/the-war-has-thrown-ukraines-surrogacy-industry-into-crisis

shall we ask uncomfortable questions? https://mercatornet.com/war-has-exposed-the-questionable-practice-of-commercial-surrogacy-in-ukraine/83526/

oh and if you die, you knew that, your hubby (if you have one) knew that, your children knew that, and besides, you are poor, so does it matter? http://nhsurrogacy.com/death-and-the-surrogate/#:~:text=Typically%2C contracts require that the,financial protection to her family.

Like others said, it's understood that surrogacy, like non-surrogate childbirth, comes with risks for the carrier. But at the same time, people carry pregnancies and give birth understanding those risks, hopefully in consensual agreements and with full reproductive choice. We aren't talking about Handmaid's Tale forced surrogates as a result of rape, but situations that often are based on (often contractual) agreements and sometimes compensation. I would be careful in saying that while you declined the surrogacy bc it put your friend at risk, because that may imply others who go forward with this risk their surrogate's lives and possibly non-consensually. 

With that said, I highly recommend the book The Farm by Joanne Ramos which goes into various issues around surrogacy.

[JermajestyDuggar]

It’s obvious some humper wrote this question. Most likely a stuck up humper who thinks the younger married sisters have become too worldly. But the holier than thou Erin is better because she wears skirts past her knees and sells pointless Bible cards. 

[Jackie3]

On 5/14/2023 at 4:25 PM, Sabine said:

IT is the height of patriarchy to rent the womb of an often poor women (Ukraine was the capital of people wishing to buy life infants of breeding agencies and their cattle before the war started, India stopped doing commercial surrogacies as 'parents' refused to pick up children that were 'compromised' i.e. not in good health or maybe not 'perfect' or of the wrong 'sex') and it is the height of hypocrisy to pretend to being against human trafficking and then going to buy a life infant and take it god knows where by god knows whom. 

 

Surrogacy may be something you'll never do. That's fine. But don't tell other women what to do with their bodies. That's acting a like a pro-lifer. My body, my choice.

Perhaps you are too wealthy to think of becoming  a surrogate. Why are you making choices for poor women? Why would you think you have that right? 

I've heard of surrogates who use the money to pay their way through college. How arrogant of another, probably wealthier woman to tell her that she can't.

 

 

On 5/16/2023 at 3:35 AM, Sabine said:

And it is the same thing. Wrong. But in saying that, if rich people make it look normal and approved why would middle class not go and buy themselves their own baby, so as long as they can find the money to rent a human for 9 month plus delivery of a tiny human being. 

The middle class are not idiots. They don't need the rich to "approve" something before they do it.

I'm middle class, and when I'm making a decision I don't look to rich folk in our town to see what they've decided.

I also don't think the rich or middle class should decide what poor women should do. Don't infantilize them. They may make choices that you have the luxury to refuse. That doesn't mean you can take those choices away from them. Rich ladies don't get to do that to poor ladies, I'm afraid.

 

On 5/14/2023 at 4:59 PM, JermajestyDuggar said:

I would love to know what kind of situation they had with the surrogate. And I wouldn’t be surprised if they did take advantage of a person who may need the money and basically rented their body out for 9 months. 

I would love to know what the surrogate did with the money. Did she put herself through college? Put a downpayment on a house? Escape an abusive marriage?

Why would you take away her right to do those things? Because you know better?

[rebeccawriter01]

The Q&A on their youtube was filled with some "interesting" tidbits. She is training Brooklyn to be a sister mom because she is unable to do everything with the baby on the way and Brooklyn is asking to learn how to cook, etc.

She says doctors have not told her not to keep having kids. 

She did confirm that she is down to 1/3 of an ovary. She said the next step was going to be a hysterectomy but that she didn't want that because she would have to take hormones. (Not true, but whatever.) She said the egg count she had a few years ago said she was at the stage of nearly a 50 year old woman so that is why Finley and this baby are miracles. She claims they got rid of all the baby stuff and maternity clothing after Finley. 

They are doing a gender reveal next week. She has known the sex and Chad knows now, as does Tori. 

Lot of talk about their Bible cards and memorization.

[sndral]

40 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

…

She did confirm that she is down to 1/3 of an ovary. She said the next step was going to be a hysterectomy but that she didn't want that because she would have to take hormones. (Not true, but whatever.) She said the egg count she had a few years ago said she was at the stage of nearly a 50 year old woman so that is why Finley and this baby are miracles. She claims they got rid of all the baby stuff and maternity clothing after Finley. 

They are doing a gender reveal next week. She has known the sex and Chad knows now, as does Tori. 

Lot of talk about their Bible cards and memorization.

Erin’s fertility is not a ‘miracle,’ rather it proves that egg quality is more important than egg quantity in her case. Assuming she’s correctly reporting that she has the egg count of a 50 year old, those 1000 or so eggs she has left are of a much higher quality than a 50 year old’s eggs & thus far more likely to be viable & result in pregnancy. https://www.rmany.com/blog/egg-quality-vs-egg-quantity. Indeed one study found that the spontaneous reproductive rate for women who’ve had one ovary removed is the same as women who still have both ovaries https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7938940/ although there’s nothing about women w/ only a third of an ovary left as per Erin’s claims.

She and Chad have always had remarkable fertility & once she started medicating for her clotting disorder remarkable success in reproducing, thus it’s not surprising to me that she’s pregnant. She’s alway OTP about her pregnancy/birth stories, I guess the drama keeps the $$$ flowing in.

[JermajestyDuggar]

46 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

The Q&A on their youtube was filled with some "interesting" tidbits. She is training Brooklyn to be a sister mom because she is unable to do everything with the baby on the way and Brooklyn is asking to learn how to cook, etc.

She says doctors have not told her not to keep having kids. 

She did confirm that she is down to 1/3 of an ovary. She said the next step was going to be a hysterectomy but that she didn't want that because she would have to take hormones. (Not true, but whatever.) She said the egg count she had a few years ago said she was at the stage of nearly a 50 year old woman so that is why Finley and this baby are miracles. She claims they got rid of all the baby stuff and maternity clothing after Finley. 

They are doing a gender reveal next week. She has known the sex and Chad knows now, as does Tori. 

Lot of talk about their Bible cards and memorization.

I think Erin is full of shit and just wants so badly to have miracle babies while her so called bff Michael gets zero miracles. I guess god likes Erin better 🙄

*I am not a Christian so this all sounds so ridiculous to me. Erin wants to be special so bad. 

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, sndral said:

Erin’s fertility is not a ‘miracle,’ rather it proves that egg quality is more important than egg quantity in her case. Assuming she’s correctly reporting that she has the egg count of a 50 year old, those 1000 or so eggs she has left are of a much higher quality than a 50 year old’s eggs & thus far more likely to be viable & result in pregnancy. https://www.rmany.com/blog/egg-quality-vs-egg-quantity. Indeed one study found that the spontaneous reproductive rate for women who’ve had one ovary removed is the same as women who still have both ovaries https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7938940/ although there’s nothing about women w/ only a third of an ovary left as per Erin’s claims.

She and Chad have always had remarkable fertility & once she started medicating for her clotting disorder remarkable success in reproducing, thus it’s not surprising to me that she’s pregnant. She’s alway OTP about her pregnancy/birth stories, I guess the drama keeps the $$$ flowing in.

Yeah, it is not about quantity, it is about quality. Most 50 year old women have poor quality eggs, Erin presumably still had the GG quality of a 30 year old woman and it seems she has inherited her mother's fertility. I think there will be a Paine 7. 

[llucie]

I get that the doctors told them she was unlikely to have any more kids, but after she got pregnant so easily with Finley maybe she should have considered that the doctors were wrong? I bet this will not be her last one either.

Also maybe this is petty but isnt it kind of unfair for her to get to choose all the kids names without Chad getting any input? I get that they have a very diferent taste in names but most people try to reach a consensus with their partner. He clearly dislikes the "unique" names she chooses but Erin brushes it off and says he gets to choose the middle names as if that is the same thing.

Edited June 10, 2023 by llucie
spelling

[rebeccawriter01]

23 minutes ago, llucie said:

I get that the doctors told them she was unlikely to have any more kids, but after she got pregnant so easily with Finley maybe she should have considered that the doctors were wrong? I bet this will not be her last one either.

They gave a whole speech about God's plan, prayers, and doctors not always being right. It was on brand but rather heartless and cruel/insensitive to those with fertility issues. 

Interesting that Erin said after the surgeries that she went to a doctor to help regulate her hormones and someone who specialized in that. Chad specifically said fertility. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

18 minutes ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

They gave a whole speech about God's plan, prayers, and doctors not always being right. It was on brand but rather heartless and cruel/insensitive to those with fertility issues. 

Interesting that Erin said after the surgeries that she went to a doctor to help regulate her hormones and someone who specialized in that. Chad specifically said fertility. 

Probably a reproductive endocrinologist. 

[rebeccawriter01]

2 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Probably a reproductive endocrinologist. 

That's my thought. I just found it interesting that Chad threw fertility in there when they have been more careful in the past to say it was all God's plan. We've mostly all assumed but interesting that he said the word.

[Johannah]

3 hours ago, llucie said:

I get that the doctors told them she was unlikely to have any more kids, but after she got pregnant so easily with Finley maybe she should have considered that the doctors were wrong? I bet this will not be her last one either.

Also maybe this is petty but isnt it kind of unfair for her to get to choose all the kids names without Chad getting any input? I get that they have a very diferent taste in names but most people try to reach a consensus with their partner. He clearly dislikes the "unique" names she chooses but Erin brushes it off and says he gets to choose the middle names as if that is the same thing.

Idk. I tend to think when children are given the father’s surname (not that fundies would ever consider doing otherwise), then the mother should have more say in the first and/or middle name. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Does Chad have veto power if he loathes a name Erin picks? I named our kids but my husband had veto power. Luckily he likes my very traditional taste in names. There was one name that came up that he absolutely hates but I love. It’s the name Louisa. But we had boys not girls. So it didn’t matter. 

[medimus]

12 hours ago, rebeccawriter01 said:

She did confirm that she is down to 1/3 of an ovary. She said the next step was going to be a hysterectomy but that she didn't want that because she would have to take hormones. (Not true, but whatever.)

I just want to point out here, that while she wouldn't have to have hormones, it would be medically advised. It always is if you go through menopause early, otherwise your chances of osteoporosis are very very high. (unless there is some other reason not to have hormones). 

[Melissa1977]

Miracle babies, wrong doctors, shadowing information about taking fertility drugs, Brooklyn begging to be a maid... Oh Erin, didn't you know that baby Jesus cries when someome lies? 

 

[llucie]

9 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Does Chad have veto power if he loathes a name Erin picks? I named our kids but my husband had veto power. Luckily he likes my very traditional taste in names. There was one name that came up that he absolutely hates but I love. It’s the name Louisa. But we had boys not girls. So it didn’t matter. 

In Finley name reveal video they said Erin makes a short list of names she likes and from that Chad picks one. For example for Finley he had to choose between Harbor, Brighton, Finley, Avonlea, Ireland and Scotland.

[EmiSue]

1 hour ago, llucie said:

In Finley name reveal video they said Erin makes a short list of names she likes and from that Chad picks one. For example for Finley he had to choose between Harbor, Brighton, Finley, Avonlea, Ireland and Scotland.

I really hope she either has a boy or puts some better names on the list this time. Poor #5 daughter if not!

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, llucie said:

In Finley name reveal video they said Erin makes a short list of names she likes and from that Chad picks one. For example for Finley he had to choose between Harbor, Brighton, Finley, Avonlea, Ireland and Scotland.

Oh god I would pick Finley too. What a list. Let’s hope it’s a boy this time. 

[Expectopatronus]

20 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Oh god I would pick Finley too. What a list. Let’s hope it’s a boy this time. 

Agreed that those are all terrible choices. I would have picked Avonlea given my love of LM Montgomery books as a kid but none are to my taste.

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Expectopatronus said:

Agreed that those are all terrible choices. I would have picked Avonlea given my love of LM Montgomery books as a kid but none are to my taste.

I like Anne of Green Gables too. I remember watching the series about a million times as a kid. Which means I like Avonlea too. However I know people would mispronounce it constantly. Plus they would misspell it too. I just know I would get so annoyed by people calling my kid Avon like the mlm. And I hate MLMs. So I just couldn’t handle that.