Upcoming Babies 22: Every Sperm Is Scared

[Bluebirdbluebell]

4 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

@CaptainFunderpants Hate every other name and complain about how ugly the names of other kids are. They aren’t jerks; they truly, truly cannot stand any other names but try to be polite about the name I used for my kid. 

To be fair, I feel like too many people are too picky about names anyway. Like somebody names their Taylynn and next thing people are like "this is terrible'. If anything, people like them are a reminder to the rest of us to be less stuck up about names. 

[AliC]

I won't speak up about how much I dislike a name unless it's REALLY bad or off the wall and almost a punishment on the child. There's some golden examples from this board that I need not list and even more from the non-fundie world that in some occasions are worse. Otherwise, if a name just isn't to my personal taste, I leave it alone. Something something this world would be boring if we liked the same things, blah blah blah...

[SunnySide]

One of the best things I’ve ever heard about names. “Remember at one point every name was a made up name.” I try to “move along” as they say when I hear a name that I do not care for. It’s not really my business what people name their kids. There are of course a few exceptions to just rolling with the punches. Like when people very obviously name their child after an alcohol. I’m not talking “Jack” for Jack Daniels, you could just call the kid Jack and nobody would think twice. But more like naming a child “Grey Goose 19 Crimes Franzia”.  Or if/when people name their child after controversial or downright racist historical figures, Any name associated with Nazism, or drug use. Any name that’s an actual swear word or play on swear words. That’s when my patience gets a little thin and it’s like “this child has to get through life with that name.” And you just know someone is going to say something to that person about their name, every day for the rest of their life. 

[hoipolloi]

My advice to family & friends is DON'T tell anyone the name youʻre considering.

If you like it, thatʻs enough. Give the baby that name when theyʻre born and ignore the critics.

Of course, Iʻm also pretty sure that these folks will not be naming their kids Spurgeon, Heistheway, Nehemiah or Nevaeh. If they did, though, Iʻd keep my mouth shut.

 

[Mrs Ms]

Friends of mine have boys with lovely/traditional/boring names and then a daughter. They were dithering for ages what to name her between 2 or 3 options and asking friends and family for input. I opined the most traditional one and use the cutesy nickname. Now they have James Edward, Samuel Andrew, Gabriel David and Jessie Daisy. (Not the real names) 

Sigh.

The sibling of a friend named his daughter a lovely name, but he and the mother are even worse at spelling than I am and used a phonetic spelling. NOBODY will ever get the pronunciation/spelling right! 
Those are the only 2 names that really bug me. Not my baby, not my business…

 

[ophelia]

3 hours ago, hoipolloi said:

My advice to family & friends is DON'T tell anyone the name youʻre considering.

If you like it, thatʻs enough. Give the baby that name when theyʻre born and ignore the critics.

Of course, Iʻm also pretty sure that these folks will not be naming their kids Spurgeon, Heistheway, Nehemiah or Nevaeh. If they did, though, Iʻd keep my mouth shut.

 

We‘ve told people our baby‘s name before the birth and a lot of folks were surprised that we were so open about it. Really everybody loved the name, but when we told my MIL she made a huge fuss and really hurt us. Our child has a name from the Old Testament and nothing overly modern of speshul.

[Nothing if not critical]

10 minutes ago, ophelia said:

We‘ve told people our baby‘s name before the birth and a lot of folks were surprised that we were so open about it. Really everybody loved the name, but when we told my MIL she made a huge fuss and really hurt us. Our child has a name from the Old Testament and nothing overly modern of speshul.

My MIL didn't approve of the name we picked for our second daughter either. But, to quote daughter number one, who was three years old at the time: "It's our baby, not hers." 😅

[Smash!]

Since there are government requirements for acceptable names where I live, parents can‘t give their children really bad names. Besides that for me baby names fall in the same category as wedding dresses: I won‘t say a bad word and find something to compliment to the person who chose it. 

Edited February 23, 2022 by Smash!

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, ophelia said:

We‘ve told people our baby‘s name before the birth and a lot of folks were surprised that we were so open about it. Really everybody loved the name, but when we told my MIL she made a huge fuss and really hurt us. Our child has a name from the Old Testament and nothing overly modern of speshul.

We were open too. But I didn’t know if we were having a boy or girl. I’m pretty mean while pregnant so no one said shit to me about the name choices. 

[EyesOpen]

We didn’t share with the first two but then we shared our ideas for our third and I was ticked off and exhausted hearing everyone tear apart our choices and give their darn opinions. It ended up ok, but I highly recommend just keeping your name discussion with your partner and surprise the rest of the family later. Hardly anyone will have the gall to insult a baby’s name when they are holding little heistheway (kidding on that one)

[JermajestyDuggar]

20 minutes ago, EyesOpen said:

We didn’t share with the first two but then we shared our ideas for our third and I was ticked off and exhausted hearing everyone tear apart our choices and give their darn opinions. It ended up ok, but I highly recommend just keeping your name discussion with your partner and surprise the rest of the family later. Hardly anyone will have the gall to insult a baby’s name when they are holding little heistheway (kidding on that one)

My friend chose a name I hate. And I hate very few names. I didn’t insult it. I would just talk about names in general and her choices in broad terms. My tongue almost bled from biting it. It’s weird because she chose a name for her first that I love. Then I hated the second kid’s name. I was pretty surprised. 

[Hazelbunny]

I, sort of, named my nephew. When my sister was pregnant with her first and it was already very close to her due date, she stlll had no Idea what to call him, so she asked me for Ideas. She knows I am a name-nerd and have kept lists of names I like since i was a teenager (and thought I actually wanted kids) I gave her a few Ideas, and she chose one she liked.  That was petty cool Now for the second she hasn't wanted my input, so I don't butt in. (Although I did ask her not to ask me this time, as I would feel weird if she chose a name I suggested again....) 

[Bethella]

A family member recently named their new son after a nationality with the country’s name as a nickname- think American and America or Indian and India (neither one is the actual name). It’s unusual and very unique but the main thing is that when people are talking about little “America” everyone keeps assuming they’re talking about a girl and dad is getting upset about it. 

[front hugs > duggs]

15 minutes ago, Bethella said:

A family member recently named their new son after a nationality with the country’s name as a nickname- think American and America or Indian and India (neither one is the actual name). It’s unusual and very unique but the main thing is that when people are talking about little “America” everyone keeps assuming they’re talking about a girl and dad is getting upset about it. 

Come here little Djiboutian..... 🤣

[CaptainFunderpants]

11 hours ago, Smash! said:

Since there are government requirements for acceptable names where I live, parents can‘t give their children really bad names. Besides that for me baby names fall in the same category as wedding dresses: I won‘t say a bad word and find something to compliment to the person who chose it. 

I wish we had those. IMHO Americans need standardized names and spellings of names SO badly. All of the ridiculous ones I just can't. At this point I'm becoming old and crochety and so when I see the ridiculous names and spellings I just want to be like "Nope, I don't want to deal with you" and half want to just write the standard spelling and be like "DEAL WITH IT."

Mary/Meri, okay, John/Jon okay, but if you name your kid 'Sabastchin' I hope he puts you in a terrible nursing home someday.

[WannabeHistorian]

1 hour ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I wish we had those. IMHO Americans need standardized names and spellings of names SO badly. All of the ridiculous ones I just can't. At this point I'm becoming old and crochety and so when I see the ridiculous names and spellings I just want to be like "Nope, I don't want to deal with you" and half want to just write the standard spelling and be like "DEAL WITH IT."

Mary/Meri, okay, John/Jon okay, but if you name your kid 'Sabastchin' I hope he puts you in a terrible nursing home someday.

Agreed. Changing one letter, maybe two is okay. As long as the proper pronunciation is still evident by the spelling. 

Can we also ban drug and brand names while we're at it? I knew a Pepsi growing up. She was a sweet kid, but I always felt bad for her. I heard about a girl whose parents tried to name her Marijuana, but I believe the courts intervened in that case and banned the name.

[AliC]

8 hours ago, Hazelbunny said:

She knows I am a name-nerd and have kept lists of names I like since i was a teenager (and thought I actually wanted kids) I gave her a few Ideas, and she chose one she liked.  

I'm glad to know I'm not the only childless person who keeps lists of names they like! In my case, I just use the excuse that I like to write stories and need names for different characters at the ready. Which is mostly true.  That's cool that you were able to help your sister name her child.

6 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I wish we had those. IMHO Americans need standardized names and spellings of names SO badly. All of the ridiculous ones I just can't. At this point I'm becoming old and crochety and so when I see the ridiculous names and spellings I just want to be like "Nope, I don't want to deal with you" and half want to just write the standard spelling and be like "DEAL WITH IT."

Mary/Meri, okay, John/Jon okay, but if you name your kid 'Sabastchin' I hope he puts you in a terrible nursing home someday.

Phew. Got me a bit worried considering how often the spelling of my name gets messed up, but it's literally only a two letter difference. If it means names like CVIIIlin (which, obvious to absolutely no one but the parents, is pronounced Caitlin) are no more, I'm all for it!

[ophelia]

10 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

We didn’t share with the first two but then we shared our ideas for our third and I was ticked off and exhausted hearing everyone tear apart our choices and give their darn opinions. It ended up ok, but I highly recommend just keeping your name discussion with your partner and surprise the rest of the family later. Hardly anyone will have the gall to insult a baby’s name when they are holding little heistheway (kidding on that one)

Unfortunately I'm very soft while pregnant and can tear up any second.
Next round we'll probably keep everything to ourselves: due date, sex, name and probably also where we are going to give birth. My MIL is just too much.

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 hours ago, ophelia said:

Unfortunately I'm very soft while pregnant and can tear up any second.
Next round we'll probably keep everything to ourselves: due date, sex, name and probably also where we are going to give birth. My MIL is just too much.

I understand. I was a mean asshole of a pregnant person but I also cried buckets over any sort of injured or sick cat. So if someone insulted my name choice I would be a jerk about it. But if I saw a lost or sick cat on fb, I was a mess. Pregnancy is so weird.

[Smash!]

13 hours ago, CaptainFunderpants said:

I wish we had those. IMHO Americans need standardized names and spellings of names SO badly. All of the ridiculous ones I just can't. At this point I'm becoming old and crochety and so when I see the ridiculous names and spellings I just want to be like "Nope, I don't want to deal with you" and half want to just write the standard spelling and be like "DEAL WITH IT."

Mary/Meri, okay, John/Jon okay, but if you name your kid 'Sabastchin' I hope he puts you in a terrible nursing home someday.

I think the requirements lessened a bit. Just looked at a baby gallery of a hospital and saw lots of cutesy names like Lexie and names spelled with an y instead of i.

To be fair it‘s also very difficult here to change your names, especially first names but last names as well. I can‘t even take on my mom‘s maiden name as my last name without complicated paperwork and no guarantee of approval.

[usedbicycle]

How about we let parents choose names and respect their reasons for doing so? 

It smells a little classist to me when people criticize unique spellings. When I taught at very low income schools, many names were crazy and impossible to know how to pronounce unless you heard it. For parents, a one-of-a-kind name for their baby is a wish for a one-of-a-kind destiny in a society where poverty keeps you stuck in so many ways. 

I know kids who ended up changing or simplifying their names, and there should be an easy procedure to do so. But judging the parents lacks some sensitivity IMO. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

Alyssa Webster’s BFF Bethany Chavez is pregnant. 

[VBOY9977]

John-Clay and Sarah Burnett are having baby #4 in august per her Instagram

[SorenaJ]

18 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

It smells a little classist to me when people criticize unique spellings. When I taught at very low income schools, many names were crazy and impossible to know how to pronounce unless you heard it. For parents, a one-of-a-kind name for their baby is a wish for a one-of-a-kind destiny in a society where poverty keeps you stuck in so many ways. 

Unfortunately people will judge, so there is no reason to saddle your child with a name that will end up being a disadvantage on a CV and make you look wilfully illiterate. 

In a perfect world, names wouldn't matter, but they do, and parents need to factor that in if they want that one-of-a-kind destiny. It's a paradox. Being called MykKynsleigh'a will be more of a disadvantage to getting a job (and getting out of poverty) than being called Emily. Shouldn't be, but it is. 

[Mrs Ms]

18 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

How about we let parents choose names and respect their reasons for doing so? 

It smells a little classist to me when people criticize unique spellings. When I taught at very low income schools, many names were crazy and impossible to know how to pronounce unless you heard it. For parents, a one-of-a-kind name for their baby is a wish for a one-of-a-kind destiny in a society where poverty keeps you stuck in so many ways. 

I know kids who ended up changing or simplifying their names, and there should be an easy procedure to do so. But judging the parents lacks some sensitivity IMO. 

Generally I agree with you regarding when parents use “unique” spelling options to stand out and be one of a kind. Those choices fall into my category of ‘not my kid, not my business’. In my personal example above, this didn’t factor in. The parents weren’t trying to make it special, they just really suck at spelling and didn’t check a book, website or with anyone who might know. 
(We socialised enough for me to know this and not just make assumptions.)

Edited February 25, 2022 by Mrs Ms