Maxwell 51: Empty Nesters, Empty Vesters? End of an Era

[Bethy]

It's not "just" the jeans...though that it significant considering they were exclusively wearing homemade frumpers up until Christmas of 2010, and long skirts for the decade that followed, and considering that Sarah's formative years were spent going to the airport to point out "eye traps" and talk about the way contrasting buttons and slits in skirts "defrauded."

It's not "just" the rings or the dangly earrings...though that is significant considering we hadn't seen a Maxwell woman wearing any jewelry save for a watch or a wedding ring prior to Sarah's getting her ears pierced this year

It's not "just" the manicured nails...though that is significant considering these are people who would not bring any magazines (along the lines of Good Housekeeping or Woman's Day) into their homes, because that might distract them into spending a few moments of leisure browsing a glossy magazine instead of completing a kitchen chore. How many 15-minute blocks of time does it take to maintain a manicure?

It's all these things, plus travel, the fact that she'd kept in touch with the photographer from John and Chelsy's wedding for a few years (a FRIEND!) the fact that she's now living on her own, and this is the first glimpse we've seen of her and it's pretty much an about-face from the way she lived under Steve's control. I hope that when she goes to bed at night she feels peace and enjoyment, not anxiety that perhaps she's not living God's way because for so much of her life, she was taught that those externals were necessary to please God.

[Howl]

I had a huge WTAF moment looking at Chelsy's blog, realizing that they'd brought an infant (and kids) to a public event in the middle of a damn plague; no masks. 

 

 

[SassyPants]

15 minutes ago, Howl said:

I had a huge WTAF moment looking at Chelsy's blog, realizing that they'd brought an infant (and kids) to a public event in the middle of a damn plague; no masks. 

 

 

These folks are the reason that the pandemic keeps going on with new variants. Now maybe all the adults are vaxed, but we know none of those little ones are eligible. It’s so frustrating. Who would bring a preterm baby to such an event during a pandemic? Where is the common sense? 

I guess since the free auntie babysitters are away in WV, the parents aren’t so free to date child free. Wonder if the GPs have refused? They seem like the kind where you’d have to schedule far in advance. 

[nokidsmom]

15 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

Looking at the photo of the 3 women, if you asked me which of them is 39 years old and until this year was living in her parents house being micromanaged by her mega controlling father, I wouldn’t guess it was Sarah! 

I went to look at the photo and wow, I agree, you could never tell.   She looks so relaxed and happy, not to mention wearing jeans!

 I always felt so sorry for her and wondered how long she and her sisters would be doomed to living such an oppressive existence.  I wonder what's going on with Steveovah for suddenly letting his daughters move out, but whatever it was, it's a good thing for them.

Now, as @SassyPants posted, let's hope Teri is swilling the Pepsi too.   Steveovah's little empire has finally crashed.  

[lunaselene503]

Uugh, I'm happy to see a picture of Sarah but I'm not going to get excited that it means anything. She went out so she got dolled up. Even I get all glammed up for events/occasions and I usually look frumpy. What I'm interested in is Anna's time at college. Mary seems to have a suitor but we don't really know anything about Anna's current life.

[theologygeek]

Wow.  She went from climbing a mountain in a dress to jeans, a thumb ring, and dangle earrings.  She looks so pretty.  You go Sarah!!!  

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

Wow.  She went from climbing a mountain in a dress to jeans, a thumb ring, and dangle earrings.  She looks so pretty.  You go Sarah!!!  

Right? Think of all those times she could have worn pants when doing things like hiking. It would have been so much more practical. 

3 hours ago, SassyPants said:

These folks are the reason that the pandemic keeps going on with new variants. Now maybe all the adults are vaxed, but we know none of those little ones are eligible. It’s so frustrating. Who would bring a preterm baby to such an event during a pandemic? Where is the common sense? 

I guess since the free auntie babysitters are away in WV, the parents aren’t so free to date child free. Wonder if the GPs have refused? They seem like the kind where you’d have to schedule far in advance. 

Oh I would bet $100,000 Chelsy isn’t vaccinated for covid. 

[CyborgKin]

Better pic of Laura Johnson https://www.thejohnsonstrings.com/laura

Looks like she has some interests in common with Sarah, makes sense that they kept in touch after meeting at the wedding.

[socalrules]

We honestly don’t know how long Sarah has been wearing jeans or out and about on her own to different events around the country. I don’t think this change in the family just happened recently. Sarah could have been wearing jeans for the last 5 years. She could have been traveling around to concerts with friends for years. I think there was more freedom for Sarah, Anna and Mary for a lot longer than we than we have known. These people didn’t suddenly change on a dime. The Maxwells always blogged about what they wanted people to know, not about everything happening in their lives.
 

I don’t see the point of courting if you live alone. Who will know if you saw a man or woman at your apartment? Who will know what you are doing every moment of the day? The whole point of courting is that you are always being watched. Your parents know where you are because you are either taking care of your siblings, taking care of the house or courting with a sibling by your side. 

[Bethy]

2 hours ago, socalrules said:

We honestly don’t know how long Sarah has been wearing jeans or out and about on her own to different events around the country. I don’t think this change in the family just happened recently. Sarah could have been wearing jeans for the last 5 years. She could have been traveling around to concerts with friends for years. I think there was more freedom for Sarah, Anna and Mary for a lot longer than we than we have known. These people didn’t suddenly change on a dime. The Maxwells always blogged about what they wanted people to know, not about everything happening in their lives.

No, we don't, but given their talk about airport trips to discuss "eye traps" and an essay Christopher published on the blog before his marriage about Christians as ambassadors and how vitally important it is to dress the part, it's a significant change to see her dressed this way. Whether it happened overnight isn't the most important thing - it's that it happened.

[Black Aliss]

On 11/28/2021 at 4:24 PM, FunFunFundie said:

I've only been following this sporadically so it's possible I missed it, but last I knew, nobody really knew the story of Sarah leaving, just that she had left. In my head, I imagined...I don't know what. Some sort of Steve-sanctioned move. Like, okay, you ARE approaching middle age. Let's find a house for you and you can be a home-maker in your own right. Something like that.

I think we all have pictured that scene in our own way. For me, it is Sarah, having finally snapped, telling Steve that she wants compensation at the same level as her brothers for all the work she has done and, oh, by the way, here's the little 950 square foot bungalow that she and Ellie intend to close on next week, so pony up, Pops. Steve then goes all patriarchal on her ass and Sarah walks out, yelling over her shoulder, "Fine! You'll be hearing from my lawyer tomorrow!"

Edited November 30, 2021 by Black Aliss

[JermajestyDuggar]

2 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

I think we all have pictured that scene in our own way. For me, it is Sarah, having finally snapped, telling Steve that she wants compensation at the same level as her brothers for all the work she has done and, oh, by the way, here's the little 950 square foot bungalow that Ellie and I intend to close on next week, so pony up. Steve then goes all patriarchal on her ass and Sarah walks out, yelling over her shoulder, "Fine! You'll be hearing from my lawyer tomorrow!"

Yours is so much more interesting than mine. I always imagined it was a long and drawn out process of many conversations over months where Steve has many concerns and must pray while Sarah makes it pretty clear she wants to move out the entire time. And Steve finally relents because he knows Sarah is going to do it regardless. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

21 hours ago, Mrs Ms said:

I think the moving out because she is courting or engaged makes no sense as she would be moving into a house with her husband as soon as she marries. Moving into an apartment for less than a year (usual fundie engagement lengths) would be very strange.

I agree with this. It reminds of fundie people I know in real life.

[Hane]

My theory is that, miraculously, Steve’s new minister somehow has managed to intimidate or at least strongly influence him. The minister got to know the Maxwell daughters through their activities at the church and realized that something was amiss—that they were being starved of their opportunity to spread their wings. He knew that Anna and Mary had already traveled on “mission” work—why shouldn’t they have a chance for formal education in the field? And poor Sarah—pushing 40 without any real chances at independence. If their newfound liberty is indeed thanks to him, he must indeed have superhuman powers over Stevehovah.

I’m sitting here picturing Sarah sitting in bed on a Saturday morning, painting her nails and reading something other than a Bible and planning to do whatever the heck she and Ellie feel like doing for the rest of the day.

[theologygeek]

3 hours ago, socalrules said:

We honestly don’t know how long Sarah has been wearing jeans or out and about on her own to different events around the country. I don’t think this change in the family just happened recently. Sarah could have been wearing jeans for the last 5 years. She could have been traveling around to concerts with friends for years. I think there was more freedom for Sarah, Anna and Mary for a lot longer than we than we have known. These people didn’t suddenly change on a dime. The Maxwells always blogged about what they wanted people to know, not about everything happening in their lives.

I think the changes happened recently.  Mary and Sarah did not glow in the blog pictures, not like they are glowing now.  I don't think they would have chosen climbing mountains in dresses either.  And it was only a few years ago that Steve bit someone's head off in the blog comments when someone asked if Sarah wore makeup.  He said something like "Do you think she needs makeup?"  He closed that site awfully fast after the girls moved out.  He's mortified.  

[ksuheather]

So i checked the property tax records and it appears Sarah does not own property in Leavenworth county. Interesting to note John and Chelsey are no longer listed as owning property in Leavenworth county. Did they move too? 

[Queen Of Hearts]

2 minutes ago, ksuheather said:

So i checked the property tax records and it appears Sarah does not own property in Leavenworth county. Interesting to note John and Chelsey are no longer listed as owning property in Leavenworth county. Did they move too? 

I brought up the same thing about John and Chelsea awhile back and someone pointed out that they still were listed on a different tax site.  I have not checked to see if they are still listed there or if they have also vanished from that list.  (Not sure if I even remember how to get to that site now. )

Might also be worth checking records in the town that Joe lives in to see if Sarah ended up moving there.

[quiversR4hunting]

12 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Better pic of Laura Johnson https://www.thejohnsonstrings.com/laura

Looks like she has some interests in common with Sarah, makes sense that they kept in touch after meeting at the wedding.

Thanks for the link. The dresses the daughters wear all remind me of Lawrence Welk. 

I think we need to preserve the picture. Sarah isn't just wearing jeans but skinny jeans. @Bethy detailed all the other appearance changes in her post. Sarah looks very nice. If she is attending church, I hope she going to a non-legalistic church and one with better message and one with a young adult group. (My catholic church has a young adult group that meets at a pub/bar grill once a month to talk and dine. Age suggestion is 25 to 40. They just restarted meeting this month.)

[Bethy]

8 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

I brought up the same thing about John and Chelsea awhile back and someone pointed out that they still were listed on a different tax site.  I have not checked to see if they are still listed there or if they have also vanished from that list.  (Not sure if I even remember how to get to that site now. )

Might also be worth checking records in the town that Joe lives in to see if Sarah ended up moving there.

Is it possible that John's family or Sarah (or both) could have purchased property under an LLC and not their own names? They have to know there is interest in their doings outside their circles. I for one am not creepy at all and the vibe I get from everyone who posts on this thread is that they genuinely care about Sarah and her happiness but an unregistered lurker here could be low-key stalking Sarah through this site and want to show up at her house. If I were her I'd want to prevent that.

[Hane]

Could it be that Sarah’s *whisper* RENTING?

[fundiewatch]

I’ve always assumed Sarah is in an apartment or condo. She doesn’t love yard work and is a single woman approaching 40. I think she met people in her church who were like-minded and like-aged living on their own. And now she’s doing the same. I’m more interested in her story and journey than the others, but I love that she’s not giving it to us. She had to “love to write” for many years and she should sip her lattes and do what she pleases. I am so, so proud of her. My theory is that the girls were moving away to college after breaking away a bit with online classes, and Sarah had a big moment because she wasn’t moving away to college— she was just moving out. And that is 100% against what everyone said (because Steve said) about accountability, and the ability to say you’re pure. It’s a bigger move for independence than almost any fundie I can think of. Some Richardson sisters did, but their parents supported it clearly. I do not think that the Maxes did. I also think that’s Sarah’s extended recovery from the concussion involved her being able to bring emotions up with a variety of people. She probably complete depression screenings, just different words and ideas. And sometimes once you see the world differently, you can’t just stay while your sisters sail off to new horizons. 

[Fun-Dee]

I'm wondering if Sarah will continue to write, and if her writing style will improve now that she can read whatever she wants.  I know it was not her dream originally, but it has to be a good money maker for her.  I also think she looks great, and very comfortable.  If I changed my style of dress I would probably feel a little self conscious at first.  

[MomJeans]

Random theory: remember Steve's big birthday party over the summer? 

At the time I wondered if his health was the reason that he was getting such a big party.  

Now I see it as the whole family placating Steve by throwing him a huge party, with tearful tributes, because the girls were already breaking free and Steve was likely a giant PIA through the process.  I can see Terri calling all the kids and wives saying "we really need to make a big deal about your father's birthday, this has been a hard pill for him to swallow" (but in more biblical terms).

[MamaJunebug]

I’ve always been soft-hearted toward Sarah, musing over the changes in her from her late teens/early 20s.  Then, her smile was much more genuine. As the years passed, the joy disappeared.  
 

I missed that she’d pierced her ears. So great!  I’m Steve’s age and recall my sainted dad thinking that pierced ears = prostitution.  No joke. That’s what was drilled into his generation in his subculture.  I finally got mine pierced at 21 and he DID NOT DIE OF SHAME. Nor did I switch careers. Har-de-har.

Sarah must’ve been 39 when she finally got hers pierced. I confess to poring over the photo of her like a teenybopper looking for clues on how cool she was. 
 

Drop earrings! Rings on finger and thumb! Manicure! Necklace! Jeans! — but most of all, a smile from enjoying life, not being told to smile for dad’s megalomaniacal plan! 

Someone mentioned the possible significance of Sarah’s two (!) concussions in moving her to Begin. Her. Own. Life. A dear friend is watching her man change drastically after TBI, maybe the injuries did help prompt Sarah’s changes.  I’d never have guessed, much less dared to hope, she’d be able to have her own life, her way, with her father still alive. 
 

TLTR: I’m over-the-moon-&-stars happy for Sarah Rae Maxwell !!!!

Edited November 30, 2021 by MamaJunebug

[Alisamer]

58 minutes ago, MamaJunebug said:

I missed that she’d pierced her ears. So great!  I’m Steve’s age and recall my sainted dad thinking that pierced ears = prostitution.  No joke. That’s what was drilled into his generation in his subculture.  I finally got mine pierced at 21 and he DID NOT DIE OF SHAME. Nor did I switch careers. Har-de-har.

My mom isn't anti-ear piercing (she's had hers done for ages) and let us get ours pierced when I was 9. (I had to wait, then she took us all at once, I'd been asking for it for years at that point.) But for some reason she nearly flipped when I came home at age 21 with second holes in my earlobes. I have no idea why, or what her problem was. It's insane.

I'm seriously considering getting my nose pierced soon. Because I like the way it looks. She'll probably flip again but I'm 47 and she's going to have to deal. I might finally get a tattoo for my 50th birthday, I've wanted one since high school.

Sarah looks normal and happy and I'm thrilled for her that she seems to be actually living now, instead of just existing in Steve's presence. I hope she's got a condo or apartment or something that she loves with interesting neighbors and a busy dog park nearby. I hope she's meeting new people (preferably from a variety of backgrounds), learning new things, and broadening her horizons.