Maxwell 51: Empty Nesters, Empty Vesters? End of an Era

[kpmom]

Sarah bought a car of her own for the first time fairly recently (within 1-2 years, I think).  Maybe that was in anticipation of her moving into her own place.

And Anna and Mary went on mission trips in the summer for the last few years (maybe not 2020).  Maybe that was in anticipation of attending this college and (possibly) becoming missionaries.

So, maybe the clues to the sisters breaking out were there all along.

32 minutes ago, Alisamer said:

 

I'm seriously considering getting my nose pierced soon. Because I like the way it looks. She'll probably flip again but I'm 47 and she's going to have to deal. I might finally get a tattoo for my 50th birthday, I've wanted one since high school.

 

It's funny, I was just thinking as I was looking at Sarah's jeans and thumb ring picture, "If Sarah gets a nose piercing all bets are off!"

[JermajestyDuggar]

I’m wondering if the college girls bothered to come home for thanksgiving. Christmas is only a month away and there’s a long break. Maybe they will wait and fly home at the beginning of Christmas break. I’m sure it’s only a few weeks away. I’m just imagining Steve and Teri on their first thanksgiving with an empty nest. I’m sure some of the family came over. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the two youngest daughters were absent. 

[browngrl]

In my family's culture is it routine to get a child's ears pierced very young. My sisters and I all had our ears pierced as babies. In my grandmother's village - it was common for young girls to get tattoos (even facial tattoos) and multiple piercings and my mom also has multiple piercings because it was common when she grew up. So I would not have been seen as a rebel to get piercings or tattoos and yet I only have my ears pierced.

Why? I wish my parents had waited till I was old enough to sit still because one of my ear piercings is at a slight angle with causes an uncomfortable torque with heavy earrings and I have stick with lighter earrings or get my piercing fixed. When it came to multiple piercings my mom advised against it because she did not like the sagging that some of her piercing got with aging changes and she found the nose piercing uncomfortable when she blew her nose (which she did often as she had allergies - the same allergies I have). My grandmother advised against tattoos because she really did not like hers in light of aging change and fashion changes. I guess in my family the  rebellious/wild action was to NOT get tattoos or piercings LOL.

[Zee]

Okay so one benefit of being home sick is that you can fall down rabbit holes 😁

1. Anna and Mary would have known for a year at least that they were going away to college. The student handbook specifically states that any student taking more than 7 credit hours must live on campus at least two consecutive semesters. We know they attended online last year because they made the President’s List. 
 

2. I am surprised the young man had a beard as the school handbook specifies that men must be clean shaven. 
 

3. Let’s be real for a minute. While I am glad that Mary and Anna are allowed to go to college and do their own thing, it isn’t as if they will meet many new ideas at this school. It used to require women to wear skirts to class, students aren’t allowed to go to movies or dance. And it has an organisation for the wives of married students but not one for husbands. It isn’t a liberal place AT ALL. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, Zee said:

3. Let’s be real for a minute. While I am glad that Mary and Anna are allowed to go to college and do their own thing, it isn’t as if they will meet many new ideas at this school. It used to require women to wear skirts to class, students aren’t allowed to go to movies or dance. And it has an organisation for the wives of married students but not one for husbands. It isn’t a liberal place AT ALL. 

I totally agree it’s not liberal. But the fact that they are living outside the Maxhell home is huge. They can make decisions like what to eat breakfast, when to read the Bible, when to go to bed, etc. That is a big deal for Anna and Mary. Steve and Teri are highly scheduled and regimented. Now that they live in a dorm with other females, they will see that there are many ways to live outside of schedules. They will see that you can be a good Christian girl and have a pierced nose. You can be a good Christian girl and have hair dyed an unnatural color. Meeting new people and learning new perspectives will happen. Even if they aren’t even close to liberal. 

[front hugs > duggs]

2 hours ago, Alisamer said:

 

I'm seriously considering getting my nose pierced soon. Because I like the way it looks. She'll probably flip again but I'm 47 and she's going to have to deal. I might finally get a tattoo for my 50th birthday, I've wanted one since high school.

 

I don't really pop in here very often, but I like sporadic updates. Get your nose pierced! I only used a stud for the first several years, but recently I've been experimenting with hoops and different metals and it's been so fun! Highly recommend!

I also have two tattoos and recommend that as well

[Bluebirdbluebell]

21 hours ago, CyborgKin said:

Better pic of Laura Johnson https://www.thejohnsonstrings.com/laura

Looks like she has some interests in common with Sarah, makes sense that they kept in touch after meeting at the wedding.

For me, another amazing thing is that the Johnson Strings perform some secular music! It may fundie-approved secular music like Ed Sheeran's Perfect (which many fundies including the Vuolos and Bates) love, but it's still secular music! Her sister's conservative college hates most secular music. 

I seem to recognize the father from somewhere, but no idea where. Maybe he went to a few weddings?

[Queen Of Hearts]

2 hours ago, Zee said:

 

3. Let’s be real for a minute. While I am glad that Mary and Anna are allowed to go to college and do their own thing, it isn’t as if they will meet many new ideas at this school. It used to require women to wear skirts to class, students aren’t allowed to go to movies or dance. And it has an organisation for the wives of married students but not one for husbands. It isn’t a liberal place AT ALL. 

Why does it have to be liberal?  There is nothing wrong with having conservative beliefs.  The important thing is that Anna and Mary are away from home meeting new people who, while possibly sharing some same beliefs, will also have other beliefs that may not align with Steve's.  They are free to explore their surroundings, make their own schedules, and research any topic they want without their parents knowing.  Attending this college is life changing for these girls. 

[Zee]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I totally agree it’s not liberal. But the fact that they are living outside the Maxhell home is huge. They can make decisions like what to eat breakfast, when to read the Bible, when to go to bed, etc. That is a big deal for Anna and Mary. Steve and Teri are highly scheduled and regimented. Now that they live in a dorm with other females, they will see that there are many ways to live outside of schedules. They will see that you can be a good Christian girl and have a pierced nose. You can be a good Christian girl and have hair dyed an unnatural color. Meeting new people and learning new perspectives will happen. Even if they aren’t even close to liberal. 

Except the college rules forbid unnatural hair colours 

 

3 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Why does it have to be liberal?  There is nothing wrong with having conservative beliefs.  The important thing is that Anna and Mary are away from home meeting new people who, while possibly sharing some same beliefs, will also have other beliefs that may not align with Steve's.  They are free to explore their surroundings, make their own schedules, and research any topic they want without their parents knowing.  Attending this college is life changing for these girls. 

Nothing wrong with conservative beliefs I was merely saying that although they are certainly living outside of the family rules they are not really meeting new beliefs and many of the rules are the same. They still have schedules. They still have rules about clothes and where to be when. 

[SassyPants]

5 minutes ago, Zee said:

Except the college rules forbid unnatural hair colours 

 

Nothing wrong with conservative beliefs I was merely saying that although they are certainly living outside of the family rules they are not really meeting new beliefs and many of the rules are the same. They still have schedules. They still have rules about clothes and where to be when. 

But…we all live in a world of rules and schedules, and for many, myself included for most of my life, told what we can and can’t not wear to school and work… the wider world is guided by rules and time clocks. The fact that they are in the wider world and away from Steve 24/7 is huge.

[JermajestyDuggar]

28 minutes ago, Zee said:

Except the college rules forbid unnatural hair colours

Then why didn’t they kick this kid out of the ABC missions conference? And why would they post a picture of such an abomination on their public FB page if they are so against it? That’s the thing about moving states away to college. They are meeting lots of people who aren’t even students there. If you look at the pictures, many non students are invited to school events. Like sports, conferences, homecoming, and the race both Maxwells ran. Anyone could join the run. Not just students. 

35 minutes ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

Why does it have to be liberal?  There is nothing wrong with having conservative beliefs.  The important thing is that Anna and Mary are away from home meeting new people who, while possibly sharing some same beliefs, will also have other beliefs that may not align with Steve's.  They are free to explore their surroundings, make their own schedules, and research any topic they want without their parents knowing.  Attending this college is life changing for these girls. 

Agree. Lots of fundies we talk about on FJ have different beliefs from Steve. Some fundies LOVE organized sports. We know how Steve feels about those 🙄 Some fundies watch tv all the time and let their kids watch it all the time too. Yet Steve thinks it’s the fucking devil. They will meet people with so many different beliefs from their own even if they are also fundie and/or conservative. 

Edited November 30, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[JermajestyDuggar]

I wonder if Anna and Mary have discovered Hallmark Christmas movies. Fundie females in their 20s seem to love those cheesefests of predictability. 

[fundiefan]

29 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder if Anna and Mary have discovered Hallmark Christmas movies. Fundie females in their 20s seem to love those cheesefests of predictability. 

My sister in law & I spent all of Saturday morning watching & snarking on them. It was the most fun I've had watching tv in a long time. What predictions did we get right? What is this movie doing outside the formula? 

Noting that they seem to have taken some of their biggest criticisms to heart - and honestly almost made them a parody of themselves. The little white girls who all look the same and have a token person of color BFF? There are several movies this year with black casts, Asian & Persian BFFs and they aren't all tiny little things. And some of their stories are outside the standard formulas, although well within the Hallmark formula as a whole. 

I am not defending them or anything - just things we noted while we sat on my sofa for a full morning watching the damn things. 

I will watch them once in awhile during the season, but I draw the line at anything Candace Cameron is is. Nope. My brain doesn't need that kind of trauma. 

[louannems]

4 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I’m wondering if the college girls bothered to come home for thanksgiving. Christmas is only a month away and there’s a long break. Maybe they will wait and fly home at the beginning of Christmas break. I’m sure it’s only a few weeks away. I’m just imagining Steve and Teri on their first thanksgiving with an empty nest. I’m sure some of the family came over. But I wouldn’t be surprised if the two youngest daughters were absent. 

When they come back for Christmas, I bet both girls will be expected to jump right in where they left off on Steve's schedule.  Bible study at 5 am, chores done in 15 minute increments throughout the day, and even dining on vegan salads in a jar.

Those girls will be so ready to get back to WV!

[JermajestyDuggar]

21 minutes ago, fundiefan said:

My sister in law & I spent all of Saturday morning watching & snarking on them. It was the most fun I've had watching tv in a long time. What predictions did we get right? What is this movie doing outside the formula? 

Noting that they seem to have taken some of their biggest criticisms to heart - and honestly almost made them a parody of themselves. The little white girls who all look the same and have a token person of color BFF? There are several movies this year with black casts, Asian & Persian BFFs and they aren't all tiny little things. And some of their stories are outside the standard formulas, although well within the Hallmark formula as a whole. 

I am not defending them or anything - just things we noted while we sat on my sofa for a full morning watching the damn things. 

I will watch them once in awhile during the season, but I draw the line at anything Candace Cameron is is. Nope. My brain doesn't need that kind of trauma. 

I heard they did a Hanukkah themed one this year with actual Jewish actors! I was shocked. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

Mainstream conservative Christian is basically a lightweight version of fundamentalism.

Edited December 1, 2021 by Bluebirdbluebell

[sparkles]

Looking back at the blog and remembering Holier-than-thou Steve’s strict “my way or the highway” brand of the Perfect Christian and comparing it to the changes that have happened now—basically almost a complete 180–there are two things that come to mind. Either it’s the Maxwells’ version of the “Dallas” dream season (Jesus wasn’t dead, he was just taking a shower) or it’s been a years-long SNL skit and any moment Steve as Emily Litella is going to pop up and say “Never mind!”

One thing’s for sure, unless one of the offspring decides to spill, we’ll never find out what brought about all these changes.

@Alisamer go for that tat! I just got my first this year at 67 and now I’m trying to find my least droopy spot so I can get another.

Edited December 1, 2021 by sparkles

[Jana814]

55 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I heard they did a Hanukkah themed one this year with actual Jewish actors! I was shocked. 

That movie is currently scheduled to record on my DVR! 

[ElizaB]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder if Anna and Mary have discovered Hallmark Christmas movies. Fundie females in their 20s seem to love those cheesefests of predictability. 

To be fair I know a lot of decidedly NOT Fundie females of all ages who enjoy these cheesefests too. 

[indianabones]

2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder if Anna and Mary have discovered Hallmark Christmas movies. Fundie females in their 20s seem to love those cheesefests of predictability. 

As long as they remember that the true reason for Christmas is husband.

 

[Queen Of Hearts]

46 minutes ago, ElizaB said:

To be fair I know a lot of decidedly NOT Fundie females of all ages who enjoy these cheesefests too. 

I have a very good male friend (married, has kids, is VERY into sports) who LIVES for these movies.  It obviously gives the rest of us something for which to harass him relentlessly!

[MomJeans]

Re the special friend who has a beard at the college- speculation, but some allow exceptions for skin conditions.  My friend's husband was permitted to have a "neatly trimmed and discriminating" beard at BYU because of a skin condition. 

As for Hallmark movies, just have to share that the oddest fan of Hallmark Christmas movies has to be my dad, who only watches serious war movies and Hallmark Christmas movies.  10 months of the year it's Patton, or Ken Burn's Vietnam War Documentary, but the moment Hallmark starts airing Christmas movies, he literally prints out the schedule, circles the ones he plans to watch, and pulls out his "Hallmark Christmas Movie Hot Chocolate Mug" in anticipation.

I bought him Hallmark Christmas movie bingo cards as a joke, and instead he screenshots them to all of us when he gets a Bingo.

Edited December 1, 2021 by MomJeans

[Cults-r-us]

I went to a dresses-only college in the early '80's (your skirt had to touch the floor when you knelt OR ELSE), no cards, dancing or movies. But underground they were wild AF, especially the sportsballers. I am guessing date rape and such was a problem.

[IsmeWeatherwax]

@Alisamer go for it! I have 3 tattoos and 4 piercings. I had my tatts done at ages, 23, 35 and 44. My piercings were at ages, 6, 14, 22 and 44! I turned 44 in June and seem to be having a midlife crisis 😂. Im the only one of my 5 siblings that has had work done. My newest piercings were done last friday. Ive had the Daith done in both ears (to help with migraine, no medical evidence it works) Ive wanted them done for years but after a 4 day migraine last week Id had enough.

[jegfile]

8 hours ago, Queen Of Hearts said:

I have a very good male friend (married, has kids, is VERY into sports) who LIVES for these movies.  It obviously gives the rest of us something for which to harass him relentlessly!

My father, 79 years old and a Baptist in membership (though not in belief) watches these all the time. I caught him ordering a package of three off Amazon. I call them Hallmark porn.