Dillards 90: Degrees, Exams, Vacations and Vaccinations, Oh MY!

[HeartsAFundie]

38 minutes ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

I am not snarking on this the same way as when Jinger announced she had had COVID. We have seen the Dillards wear masks and get vaccinated. I don't consider them super spreaders the way the rest of the Duggars are. Thank goodness Jill is vaccinated now that she is pregnant. (Perhaps I am imagining they are vaccinated but I thought Jill had said they were. I am 99% certain Derrick would have gotten vaccinated to protect his mother.)

No snark here from me either.  Arkansas from what I understand is a COVID hotbed due to a lot of unvaccinated folk so even if you are vaccinated, your odds of getting it are much higher than if you live in a state with a higher vaccination rate.    

[Idlewild]

I know she likes to keep up her social media content, but asking Duggar humpers for tips on treating Covid …. nobody has actually said eye of newt and toe of frog yet, but I haven’t read them all. Hopefully they are sensible enough to know that she should check with the doctor before taking any remedies that could have adverse reactions for pregnancy.

[Cora Persephona]

On 3/9/2022 at 10:28 AM, SorenaJ said:

It's common all over Eastern Europe. Polish, Czech, Slovak, Romanian, Russian, Lithuanian, Bulgarian, Belarusian. 

Not for Romanian 

You either keep your own, take your spouse's name or hyphenate.

[Smash!]

The way Jill worded the announcement makes me think maybe some of her family members already had the 'Rona more than once.

[viii]

Yeah, you’re not immune if you’re vaccinated. Just less likely to be hospitalized. 

[Nothing if not critical]

3 hours ago, Idlewild said:

I know she likes to keep up her social media content, but asking Duggar humpers for tips on treating Covid …. nobody has actually said eye of newt and toe of frog yet, but I haven’t read them all. Hopefully they are sensible enough to know that she should check with the doctor before taking any remedies that could have adverse reactions for pregnancy.

Well, quite a few of them recommended Ivermectin, so eye of newt is not that far off, really...

[JDuggs]

1 hour ago, Smash! said:

The way Jill worded the announcement makes me think maybe some of her family members already had the 'Rona more than once.

We do know that Derick’s brother and sister-in-law had it at the beginning of 2021 when she was pregnant. I took it to mean that covid is a new experience to Jill and Derick so that’s why she was asking for advice. Many of her wonderful followers are challenging her decision to even get tested for such a minor illness.

[Idlewild]

@JDuggs that really annoyed me- Dericks mum is presumably still classed as vulnerable as a recovered cancer patient? Of course you’d get tested!

[AussieKrissy]

Good on her for being vaxxed and I need tips on how she dodged it so long.... 

[JDuggs]

1 minute ago, AussieKrissy said:

Good on her for being vaxxed and I need tips on how she dodged it so long.... 

Jill did mention that neither of them were boosted. I’m curious as to their reasoning for that.

I know that Jill and family often were photographed wearing masks, but they also went to restaurants, church, etc. Cases are way down in the U.S. and most mask mandates are done. I bet they thought they lucked their way through and let their guard down even more.

9 minutes ago, Idlewild said:

@JDuggs that really annoyed me- Dericks mum is presumably still classed as vulnerable as a recovered cancer patient? Of course you’d get tested!

And of course Jill is higher risk being pregnant.

[Smash!]

8 minutes ago, JDuggs said:

Jill did mention that neither of them were boosted. I’m curious as to their reasoning for that.

I think it‘s more common than on might think. I know of several people who decided against the booster, often for the false security of being protected with two doses. 

Edited March 10, 2022 by Smash!

[Smee]

I’m double vaccinated and got my booster in late January (recent enough that I SHOULD have high antibodies), wear a mask every time I leave the house and have been out to dinner with 2 fully vaccinated friends once this year, but I currently have covid. Kids brought it home from school. Such is 2022 life *sigh* I’m not going to snark on Jill and Derrick for being unable to avoid it.

[AussieKrissy]

1 hour ago, Smash! said:

I think it‘s more common than on might think. I know of several people who decided against the booster, often for the false security of being protected with two doses. 

yeah that's me, ashamed to admit it 

I had covid in dec and my friends have gotten the booster and been written off for a few days, its put me off it as I will have to schedule in at a good time to possibly sick.

Plus Jill's booster may have fallen due when she was pregnant and that may have caused some hesitation 

I am not anti vax but begrudge no mother seconded guessing what she puts in her body while pregnant 

I had no hesitation about getting a whooping cough shot when pregnant but I must admit I would be hesitating on the covid if I was currently pregnant. 

[Smee]

As for feminism and working and choice, what shits me is how the unpaid labour and volunteering still falls so disproportionately to women, even women who choose to be in the workforce. So you can choose to work full time if you want, but then you get to your job and get a phone call from the daycare (who never call dad even though his number is listed first) because little Sally is sick, you call your husband to pick her up and his boss says “can’t your wife do it?”, you get home from work and cook everybody dinner, do the dishes and put on a load of laundry then go to bath Sally while reminding your husband for the 2nd time to take the bin out and don’t forget to pay the power bill, little Billy comes in to your room and tells you he needs a costume for school book week next week and you’re expected to throw something together on the weekend after you’ve done the grocery shopping and cleaned the bathroom, but your husband thinks it’s ok, it’s “equal” and feminist because he mows the lawn and and drops Sally off to daycare and Billy to school with the packed lunch you made, so that you can get to work on time.

[Smash!]

@Smee 100% this. 

Add to that how little unpaid work is valued and how much praise men get when they do something in child care while the woman is the one who gets up every time during the night and and works the next day but this is expected of her.

[Expectopatronus]

5 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

Good on her for being vaxxed and I need tips on how she dodged it so long.... 

I did too until 2 weeks ago. Vaxxed and boosted but it eventually caught up with me. Hot lemon and honey, paracetamol/acetaminophen and tea helped with the sore throat, nothing helped with the nasal congestion and crackers, gravol and ginger ale helped with the nausea. Haven’t hit on what helps with the exhaustion, funky tastes or wildly changing body temperature yet. Maybe I should try Ivermectin 🤣

[G33kywife]

I successfully dodged Covid until January. I’m fully vaccinated. It was fairly mild. Minimal respiratory issues while I was actually sick, but interestingly I had weak lungs and a cough after the fact. The things that helped me was just rest and fluids honestly. I am nursing my baby, so I was rather limited on medication options anyway. When the respiratory stuff began, and I tested negative, the thing that helped me the most was doing a brisk walk on the treadmill and then getting in the hot steam room at the gym. 

[feministxtian]

35 minutes ago, G33kywife said:

I successfully dodged Covid until January. I’m fully vaccinated. It was fairly mild. Minimal respiratory issues while I was actually sick, but interestingly I had weak lungs and a cough after the fact. The things that helped me was just rest and fluids honestly. I am nursing my baby, so I was rather limited on medication options anyway. When the respiratory stuff began, and I tested negative, the thing that helped me the most was doing a brisk walk on the treadmill and then getting in the hot steam room at the gym. 

I got hit with Covid just after last Christmas. I'd had the two shots by then, but not boosted. I was really sick for less than a week but the fatigue hung on for 2-3 weeks. 

[ItalianSceptic]

For now I dodged swabs and virus. Got boosted and hopefully I Will go on like this as Italians are 91% vaccinated and we have still a mask mandate in closed spaces. Many still wear It outside, including me.

[Smash!]

31 minutes ago, ItalianSceptic said:

For now I dodged swabs and virus. Got boosted and hopefully I Will go on like this as Italians are 91% vaccinated and we have still a mask mandate in closed spaces. Many still wear It outside, including me.

This is why we are planning our first vacation outside of Switzerland since the pandemic hit in Italy this year.

[viii]

I've yet to get it. I'm double vaxxed and boostered. 

[Giraffe]

15 hours ago, Expectopatronus said:

Maybe I should try Ivermectin 🤣

Nah, Plexus is much more effective. I know of a distributor if you need a recommendation!

[louisa05]

@Smee Don't forget that caregiving for ill or elderly parents and other family members disproportionately falls on women. Studies show that between 66-75% of caregivers are female and they spend 50% more time on caregiving than male caregivers. Additionally, 33% leave jobs due to caregiving because of lack of flexibility from employers.

[just_ordinary]

On 3/10/2022 at 11:50 PM, Smee said:

As for feminism and working and choice, what shits me is how the unpaid labour and volunteering still falls so disproportionately to women, even women who choose to be in the workforce. So you can choose to work full time if you want, but then you get to your job and get a phone call from the daycare (who never call dad even though his number is listed first) because little Sally is sick, you call your husband to pick her up and his boss says “can’t your wife do it?”, you get home from work and cook everybody dinner, do the dishes and put on a load of laundry then go to bath Sally while reminding your husband for the 2nd time to take the bin out and don’t forget to pay the power bill, little Billy comes in to your room and tells you he needs a costume for school book week next week and you’re expected to throw something together on the weekend after you’ve done the grocery shopping and cleaned the bathroom, but your husband thinks it’s ok, it’s “equal” and feminist because he mows the lawn and and drops Sally off to daycare and Billy to school with the packed lunch you made, so that you can get to work on time.

I think this scenario is very true for many, but in my very personal experience (and yes it has to do with background/social bubble) it’s not exactly the overwhelming norm anymore. I agree about the point that in the workspace men still are given a harder time if they take more than 8 weeks parental leave or wanting to work part time on a longer leave or stay home with the sick kids 50/50 or want to leave early/start later because of drop off/pick up. It’s a big difference between industries and if you work for bigger or smaller businesses. Women get less opportunities straight away because they can possibly fall pregnant and will miss at least 12 weeks (protection period before and after birth) and it’s still common and assumed the stay at home for more than 8 weeks after birth and do more of those jobs. It’s unfair all around. Thankfully more and more men are actually pretty into taking care and women are more fierce and comfortable in talking about the different scenarios with their partner before the child is here. And that’s definitely showing in other areas as well. So, I see lots of men doing definitely their 50/50 share. Be it childcare, household chores, organising to visit the relatives or remembering birthdays and coming up with gift ideas. 
My husband and I had lots of heated discussion about parental leave even before we ventured into having children. I was adamant that I wanted to have the baby at home for at least a year, but also had to/wanted to go back to work part time earlier (the „joys“ of a temporary contract up for renewal). It was so worth it. Because we had to work through his underlying impression that he would have to be at home 100% for many months. And working in a very male dominant industry this was hard to do at the time (even though I say, sorry boys, how about you man up and show some backbone). We are very lucky that we have the legal background to just choose from a variety of options and only very small companies don’t have to do it (which I get. Going from 15 employees to 14 is a very different ballgame than going from 2000 to 1999). In the end it was an amazing experience for all of us and for the second child it was no question that we would try a similar set up. It’s harder due to different employment situations this time, but we will figure something out. I still believe though that the fact, that we were both together at home, 100% on our own with the baby and juggling part time work and childcare is a big basis for us having this 50/50 approach. Again, we are lucky that with a doctors note, you are excused from work and either your health insurance pays for the day of lost income or your employer has scheme of continued pay for those cases.
As a society we have lots of tools here, but obviously employment status/type and overall financial situation will still impact your decision. But I feel that there is more pressure on men to be involved (8 weeks paternity leave after birth is more or less seen as standard and you won’t get any extra praise for doing the minimum- if you are not super desperate for money obviously).

On 3/10/2022 at 3:27 PM, NotQuiteMotY said:

I wonder if the rough deliveries with the two boys may have changed that, too. Or if doula-ing for her sisters burned her out on it, including seeing Joy also having a hard time with Gideon. 

I worked for years before having kids and right now I'm only doing a little part-time work out of the house and home the rest. I'm lucky to have the choice, with Mr. NQ earning enough that I can, but on a practical level the job I was working at then would have paid childcare and transport costs and that's about it. I enjoy being home for the most part, but I'm still probably going to be taking in more hours or doing another job once my children are in school full-time.

I can't think of any SAH parent who isn't aware of how badly it could go if the earning parent were to die, leave, or become unable to work. I'm in the US, so add in a hit-or-miss social safety net to make it even more unnerving. Frankly, that's why I still work part-time; it's also because I enjoy it, but primarily it's so I have current employment history if I need to look for something full-time. At the same time, though, American society at least is structured so that you almost have to have someone who can be at home or available during business hours, especially with kids. I can easily see Jill waiting to go to school or work until they're sure they're done having kids and the one they have are a little more independent. I can also see waiting until Derick's more established in his new career, maybe even has a position/practice with enough flex to arrange his hours to do more of the childcare.

I agree. Personally, I feel as long as childcare and work get to +/- $£€0 it is still worth it. If you can afford to make a bit of a minus maybe even then. It’s a max. of 6 years full time and than another 4 part time for most. But they can seriously hurt your career in terms of income, qualification (which is often enough an excuse from employers to put you on low level entry jobs), chances of being in full time employment and not only getting part time offers, less money going into your retirement fund….. thats one if not the biggest reason women are more threatened by poverty in retirement. So to me, the money that goes straight into childcare is an investment into my financial future and life. Obviously that’s based on the general customs here (almond all children starting kindergarten at 3 and obligatory elementary school from 6-10 and that’s it’s often finished around lunch time and you would need additional childcare). Those 10 years are a massive gap in women‘s work life and have extremely long lasting effects. It’s hard to find a balance between this and wanting to be more with your children. Because I also believe it’s not just an honour but also your duty as a parent to be present, raise and support them. So I don’t fault anyone if they want to be a SAHM in the beginning or for a long time. It’s just important to be aware of those very real future implications and don’t just look through rose coloured glasses on your relationship and yours and partners future prospects. It’s a shame that parenting the next generation is not substituted with a kind of a sufficient payment into those retirement funds at least.

Edited March 12, 2022 by just_ordinary

[SamanthasMom]

Many of my friends that were and are SAHMs would post in our thirties about how it was their choice, how their contributions were valued, and how what they did at home enabled their husbands to work. Ten years down the road many of these same women are now divorced and left high and dry. These are educated women with supportive families, so I worry for Jill because she has no real work history, and we know the Duggars certainly wouldn’t do anything for her. 
 

it is easy to snark on the extreme forms of patriarchy in fundie families, but harder to look at how the choices we all make are circumscribed by the society we live in.