Unmarried Fundies 10: Before Happily Ever After

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Bateses don’t seem to mind having weddings a little close together. I think Erin and Zach had their weddings within a month of each other. So I could see a fall wedding for Nathan and a December wedding for Katie.

[FaithAndReason]

On 5/20/2021 at 11:55 PM, Dominionatrix said:

The Bontragers just posted what seems like a clear marriage ad for Taylor. I guess that answers the question of whether they’ll be more relaxed about marrying off the remaining kids after pushing six into marriage in four(?) years. 

https://www.instagram.com/p/CPHHSPTHRHr/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

 

A billion children are a blessing from the Lord, until you start marrying them off and discover the joy of less mouths to feed.  Then it's all "Look, the Lord brought you this person to marry. Get out!" ?

[sleepygirl1]

Question: have there been any fundie families that have married off all their kids? I know some are close (only one or two left) but are there any that that have gotten all their kids to leave and cleave seems like the Bontragers are doing a pretty good job while the Arndts are in last place.

[SolomonFundy]

1 hour ago, sleepygirl1 said:

Question: have there been any fundie families that have married off all their kids? I know some are close (only one or two left) but are there any that that have gotten all their kids to leave and cleave seems like the Bontragers are doing a pretty good job while the Arndts are in last place.

I'm sure a ton of fundies have married off their broods, but if you're specifically asking about super-size, or higher profile families, only the Pearls immediately come to my mind. Their kids are all married, and some are on their second marriage. There are quite a few families that are likely to succeed, like the Kellers. They've got one last child at home, their youngest, who is 21 this year. Not a bad track record so long as you don't consider who they've been marrying their kids off to.

Also fair to consider "most likely to succeed in pawning all spawn" are the Mortons, who just have their two youngest sons remaining now, only one of which is legally an adult. However, the youngest turns 18 in a couple of months. They tend to marry their sons off quite young, so I would expect both Edwin and Paul to be married within the next 2-3 years.

The Wallers were initially in with the Kellers on this list, but then I looked them up and realized that they have three adult children still at home, two of which are about 30, and one of which is in his early 20s. 

[Bethella]

3 hours ago, sleepygirl1 said:

Question: have there been any fundie families that have married off all their kids? I know some are close (only one or two left) but are there any that that have gotten all their kids to leave and cleave seems like the Bontragers are doing a pretty good job while the Arndts are in last place.

Like @SolomonFundy said, there are several that are quite close but none of the really big families have married everyone off. Among the “smaller” families on the list-

• Scott & Deborah Brown (Kelly Bradrick Zeigler’s parents ), all 4 kids married 
• Tom & Jan Kendall (Lise Morton’s parents), all 7 kids married 
• Michael & Debi Pearl, all 5 kids married 
• Dan & Sandi Webster (Alyssa Bates’ in-laws), all 6 kids married

Edited May 25, 2021 by Bethella
Posting while half asleep

[hoipolloi]

1 hour ago, Bethella said:

Michael & Debi Pearl, all 5 kids married 

And at least one has RE-married! 

 

[llucie]

The Burnetts (Abby Duggar family) are also really close. They only have one single son (of 8 siblings), who is the youngest at 21.

[JermajestyDuggar]

The Paines only have two left now that Danny is getting married to Allie Henry. They started with 10. A lot of their children have been married off in the last 4 years. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

Vaughn Ohlman has all 6 married, which is kind of impressive considering the level of nuttery he's asking people to sign on for. There are two sets of siblings among the spouses.

[usedbicycle]

I'd be curious to know how many of these families can marry off all their kids at a reasonable age to allow for plenty of procreation, and none of those kids get divorced or separated, and all of the kids marry someone within their faith.

That already rules out the Pearls and Kellers and basically ever other family I can think of with older children.

Fundies are so adamant that THIS IS THE MODEL AND THE ONLY MODEL to live your life but it's totally unrealistic. Some people prefer to stay single. Some people are gay. Some people don't find the right person. And some marriages fall apart...

So far the Bates are doing OK on this track if Lawson gets engaged soon, but they still have so many underage kids at home that it's hard to say. The Duggars will be left with some older sons at home and witness a few divorces, I bet my money on that. And sh*t will go down in the Rodriguii and Anderson clans, that's a given.

 

 

14 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Vaughn Ohlman has all 6 married, which is kind of impressive considering the level of nuttery he's asking people to sign on for. There are two sets of siblings among the spouses.

Arranged marriages shouldn't count ?

[CTRLZero]

24 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

Vaughn Ohlman has all 6 married, which is kind of impressive considering the level of nuttery he's asking people to sign on for. There are two sets of siblings among the spouses.

I wonder at what ages he married off his children.  He was quite the creepy advocate for ultra-young, arranged marriages.  

[hollyandivy]

34 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

 

 

 

Arranged marriages shouldn't count ?

yeah, then you probably have to not count 75% of all marriages in fundie land...

[NachosFlandersStyle]

54 minutes ago, CTRLZero said:

I wonder at what ages he married off his children.  He was quite the creepy advocate for ultra-young, arranged marriages.  

I have notes somewhere from when I did a deep dive a few years back. Couldn't find all the dates but I think most of them were 19-20ish.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Ugh. Of all the "patriarchs" that I would run away from while screaming loudly, I think Vaughn Ohlman (the pedophilic pimp) is at the top of my list. I look at my growing 12 year old daughter, and according to his disgusting strictures, she's old enough to get married be sold off as chattel. He needs to change, shut up, or just disappear. Thank Rufus he has never seemed to have as big a following as some assholes, like Michael Pearl. 

[NachosFlandersStyle]

44 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I have notes somewhere from when I did a deep dive a few years back. Couldn't find all the dates but I think most of them were 19-20ish.

Okay, let's see.

• Josh, born 1991, married Laura Camp (then aged 19) in August 2013.
• Anne, born 1992? married Caleb Cook in Nov. 2014. Cook's father preaches at a church in KS that was going to be involved in Vaughn's creepy marriage retreat.
• Timothy, born 1994, married Tabitha Bourg in spring of 2015.
• Matthew, birthdate unknown, married Katrina Bourg in Nov. 2015.
• Elizabeth, birthdate unknown, married Geoffrey Scott in Oct. 2015.
• Lydia, born 2000, married Jeremy Scott in Jan. 2018.

 

[hoipolloi]

3 hours ago, usedbicycle said:

That already rules out the Pearls and Kellers and basically ever other family I can think of with older children.

Also rules out the Bradrick and Brown families.

In both families, the parents bragged publicly & incessantly about how well their patriarse-controlled, courtship-only method worked for getting their kids married -- until it didn't.

[JermajestyDuggar]

13 minutes ago, hoipolloi said:

Also rules out the Bradrick and Brown families.

In both families, the parents bragged publicly & incessantly about how well their patriarse-controlled, courtship-only method worked for getting their kids married -- until it didn't.

And that will eventually happen in the Duggar and Bates family as well. You can’t have marriage after marriage of young, uneducated, naive, underemployed, birth control shunning fundies who stay married until they die. It’s just not going to happen. 

[JMO]

1 hour ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

And that will eventually happen in the Duggar and Bates family as well. You can’t have marriage after marriage of young, uneducated, naive, underemployed, birth control shunning fundies who stay married until they die. It’s just not going to happen. 

I'm interested to see how this plays out.  Of course, I wanted the Smuggars to get divorced first, but I'll be interested to see who else.  Of the Bates' I'm guessing one of the boys' marriages.  In particular the two jackalopes who will probably be married in the next year.  But no one really knows what is happening in a marriage but the two people and we could always be surprised by Josie and Kelton or Joy and Austin or some other couple that seem really well matched.  

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, JMO said:

I'm interested to see how this plays out.  Of course, I wanted the Smuggars to get divorced first, but I'll be interested to see who else.  Of the Bates' I'm guessing one of the boys' marriages.  In particular the two jackalopes who will probably be married in the next year.  But no one really knows what is happening in a marriage but the two people and we could always be surprised by Josie and Kelton or Joy and Austin or some other couple that seem really well matched.  

I agree. It is pretty easy to pretend everything is perfect on social media. The sad thing is that I think some will stay in extremely unhappy marriages and never divorce. A very long marriage doesn’t always mean a successful marriage. 

[CaptainFunderpants]

I think the thing with a lot of the families we follow is that a lot of the parents are Gen X'ers and thus a lot were still having kids in the mid-late 2000s, so it's not quite possible for everyone to have paired off just yet.

The Bontragers are racing their kids down the aisle, but their youngest is still only 13, so at the earliest they won't be finished for another five years.

[LurkerOverThePond]

I think the Seppis also have only the youngest kid Jodavid unmarried at home. He must be in his 20s.

[AliceInFundyland]

If she's blessed, Tabitha Paine might get out of her marriage before some sort of abhorrent scandal forces it. But that seems unlikely. (reupping their unmarrieds for good reasons!)

[SusanAtTheLastBattle]

After claiming not to be running Fundie Dating Ads on their instagram, the Bontragers went ahead and posted one for Liz:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CPTttnHnxC1/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

This one's explicitly "written by Taylor." Must be so hard for a brother-boyfriend to write an ad to replace himself...

[JermajestyDuggar]

Wally Smith is now engaged. I’m really wondering about this wedding. Will he invite his older sisters? I know Kress and Rachel won’t go since they live in Paraguay and rarely ever come to the US. But will Bethany Lane go? I kind of hope she avoids seeing the Smith parents and their eventual guilt trip. Because they lay it on thick on social media. So you know it’s even worse in person. 

Edited June 2, 2021 by JermajestyDuggar

[fundiefan]

16 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Wally Smith is now engaged. I’m really wondering about this wedding. Will he invite his older sisters? I know Kress and Rachel won’t go since they live in Paraguay and rarely ever come to the US. But will Bethany Lane go? I kind of hope she avoids seeing the Smith parents and their eventual guilt trip. Because they lay it on thick on social media. So you know it’s even worse in person. 

I hope she had a discussion with him regarding his older adoptive brother and his parents. I hope they discussed how it would be handled if anything were to happen to their children and how it would be dealt with. How will Wally parent future daughters? What does he believe regarding abhorrent human behavior and punishment here on earth? Does he believe people should pay the price for the crimes they commit or leave to some god in the afterlife to deal with?

I am not being snarky at all. There are some really, really twisted beliefs in the Smith family and I would think very real and specific conversations would be needed in order to determine a future marriage to someone within that environment. 

The kids are not responsible for their parent's sins, but does Wally view the world as his parents - particularly his father - do? He was raised by these people, how do his view differ from his parents and how are they similar?

Things I would absolutely have long, deep, in depth conversations before dating, much less marrying.

I really, really hope that girl asked questions and received answers she can live with.