Katie & Travis 2: Here Comes Yet Another Bates Young Bride

[HermioneSparrow]

13 hours ago, GreenBeans said:

Bridal showers aren’t a thing here at all. Bachelorette parties are somewhat common, with varying degrees of fancy ness/cost/effort involved (typically some way of going out or spending the day together having a good time). I’ve never been to a destination bachelorette party, but they do exist.

I didn’t do any of that for my own wedding. We just wanted to get married, had a courthouse wedding and dinner with parents and siblings, and that was that. I’m even somewhat relieved we never had to throw that barbecue/garden party we said we would, due to COVID getting in the way. 😇

If people are happy to have several bridal showers, bachelorette parties, rehearsal dinners and all kinds of other shenanigans, go for it! Just not my cup of tea. But then, again, getting married was not the be all and end all of my existence. For fundie girls, it’s the first and only time in their lives they get to be the center of attention. After that it’s just household chores and kid after kid, so I get why they really want to go “all in” in these few weeks and months leading up to their wedding.

Same here. We just had a joint bachelor-bachelorette party with mutual friends at home, a margaritas & tacos night and that was all but to each their own, I'm lowkey but perhaps if I had the money I'd do something like that.

[Dbm]

1 hour ago, arareyeah said:

Question: I really am not sure what people do during bridal shower in the US (or in the Western part of the world, in general). I've heard about gifts and opening it, but then what?

In my country, a bridal or baby shower means elderly family members will pour fragrant 7 kind of flowers infused water (the water needs to come from 7 different sources) on me, aside from other complicated rituals. I'm about to get married next weekend but my parents decided to skip the bridal shower due to the pandemic, tho.

 

(Also, Katies is younger than Josie, right? Why do I feel she looks much older than Josie?)

personally, when friends or family have bridal or baby showers, they invite their friends and cousins from their age, and women they are close to in the family.

usually there is lunch/dinner or at least afternoon tea and sweets, we play games, and give the guests simple gifts.

The gifts that we give the bride could be jewellery, bags, clothes, house things, or anything that a bride would need some people give money so she can get what she want/need.  

for baby showers, they usually make list and we either buy something from it or give money, so she can get what she needs. 

 

[just_ordinary]

3 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Same here. We just had a joint bachelor-bachelorette party with mutual friends at home, a margaritas & tacos night and that was all but to each their own, I'm lowkey but perhaps if I had the money I'd do something like that.

I would have loved to be your guest. Honestly, it’s sounds lovely. 

[llucie]

I just keep seeing pictures of the girls doing pajama parties, spa day, pottery classes, and keep thinking on Ellie missing it while at Alyssa home taking care of her kids. Wouldnt it make more sense for Kelly Jo to take care of the kids herself so her daughter can enjoy time with her sisters?  or if for some reason Kelly cant possibly miss it then IDK hire a nanny? take turns? have John take a day off? I just dont understand how they see this as normal. I know if they did this to 14 year old me i would be beyond pissed, but i guess Ellie doesnt know better.

[SassyPants]

29 minutes ago, llucie said:

I just keep seeing pictures of the girls doing pajama parties, spa day, pottery classes, and keep thinking on Ellie missing it while at Alyssa home taking care of her kids. Wouldnt it make more sense for Kelly Jo to take care of the kids herself so her daughter can enjoy time with her sisters?  or if for some reason Kelly cant possibly miss it then IDK hire a nanny? take turns? have John take a day off? I just dont understand how they see this as normal. I know if they did this to 14 year old me i would be beyond pissed, but i guess Ellie doesnt know better.

I’m wondering if all those gals are in the wedding party? Is KJ a bride’s maid (matron?) or MOH? 

[indianabones]

Poor Katie and Addallee, forced to wear skirts.

[Fundielandobserver]

I am thinking that all the times these ladies need to have kids free time ! Why have so many kids then ?Going to dates with partner or lunches with friends and flying off somehwere while someone else takes care of the kids. And the poor kids I dont see them being taken to any fun activity ever like a children's museum or any kid fun place!

[QuiverFullofBooks]

1 hour ago, indianabones said:

Poor Katie and Addallee, forced to wear skirts.

Is Travis’ family skirts-only? If not, I’ll bet she’s already bought her honeymoon jeans.

[Vivi_music]

2 hours ago, indianabones said:

Poor Katie and Addallee, forced to wear skirts.

I'm probably the minority, but I'd wear a jean skirt over jeans ANY DAY 😆 (not the long ones to the floor à la Duggar 2009 - more in Addalle's style). I just find most jeans uncomfortable and I think I look cuter in skirts in general.

The big difference is choice. I didn't grow up, forced by my parents to live by the rules of some sexist scripture verses.

[Jackie3]

12 hours ago, SassyPants said:

It’s like beyond eating in restaurants, they can’t think of anything else to do. How about visiting a museum, going on a bike ride, a hike, ocean kayaking,  doing a common read beyond the Bible, a good card game, or for one dinner meal, pick a theme and everyone help prepare the meal?  Anything other than restaurant food and hair/makeup/nails. It’s all so rote and boring X19. They are rote and boring. 

I think they are very limited in education, creativity and sophistication. This is what you are "supposed" to do for fun, so they do it. They don't know people who kayak or play cards, so it never occurs to them that this is a form of fun. Their sophistication about food is particularly lacking, so getting coffee at McD's is something to brag about (and post on insta!). Trying a new Japanese restaurant or Peruvian place would never occur to them.

Personally, I hated shopping for wedding dresses. I also hate mani/pedis, they make me uncomfortable. Going out for junk food makes me feel sick. I'd prefer a good book, a long hike in the mountains, or a bonfire at the beach.

1 hour ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

Is Travis’ family skirts-only? If not, I’ll bet she’s already bought her honeymoon jeans.

Why would it matter what Travis' family does? Alyssa's family is skirts-only, but she's made her own decisions. Whitney's in-laws are skirts only, but there she is in jeans. I'm sure Katie will too. How strange to imply that her inlaws will control her clothes choices, why would they?

4 hours ago, llucie said:

I just keep seeing pictures of the girls doing pajama parties, spa day, pottery classes, and keep thinking on Ellie missing it while at Alyssa home taking care of her kids. Wouldnt it make more sense for Kelly Jo to take care of the kids herself so her daughter can enjoy time with her sisters?  or if for some reason Kelly cant possibly miss it then IDK hire a nanny? take turns? have John take a day off? I just dont understand how they see this as normal. I know if they did this to 14 year old me i would be beyond pissed, but i guess Ellie doesnt know better.

I find it hard to believe they trust a fourteen-year old to be home ALL DAY with four young kids. In a house with a pool. Fourteen-year olds are not adults, far from it. They can get distracted and neglectful. They can forget to close the door to the pool. They can be wrapped up with changing the baby and not notice the three-year old has left the house. I'm not saying she'll do a bad job, but if I were the mother I'd be very nervous. 

[AussieKrissy]

There is no alcohol no strippers and another under age sister is there. I know ellie is not a bridesmaid but I find it shitty they left her out when she is so close in age to the other one. I suppose they had to draw the line somewhere 

[EmiSue]

17 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Same here. We just had a joint bachelor-bachelorette party with mutual friends at home, a margaritas & tacos night and that was all but to each their own, I'm lowkey but perhaps if I had the money I'd do something like that.

We did a game night for our wedding party and a few other friends at the hotel where out-of-town guests were staying after the rehearsal dinner. We had four attendants each, and three of them plus us got married in a two-month window. Too many other showers and parties, not to mention actual weddings, that summer and fall for us to feel like we needed another one!

[JermajestyDuggar]

Katie definitely will keep the skirts after marriage. She is already doing a no touch courtship and you can bet that’s because of his family, not hers. She may eventually go to pants. But I don’t think it will be right away after marriage. 

[arareyeah]

19 hours ago, OHFL2009 said:

In my social circle, bridal showers usually involve opening gifts and some silly party games, like making wedding dresses out of toilet paper, or seeing who can answer the most random trivia questions about the bride and groom. There's usually some food/cake/drinks. Showers are usually a few hours long and include friends and female family members of the bride, and female family members of the groom. The gifts are more useful items off the couple's registry. 

A bachelorette party, on the other hand, is usually just close friends of the bride (often the bridesmaids and maybe a couple other friends) and it's more about going out and having a good time. It's usually at least most of a day, if not a whole weekend, and involves things like getting nails done, going out for a nice dinner, going to a bar or a show, sometimes going to a male strip club or hiring male dancers. Gifts at a bachelorette party are usually more along the lines of lingerie or other things you might rather not open in front of your grandma or young nieces. 

But it also varies in different areas of the US and among different types of people. 

Interesting. So both families are involved and doing fun things. In here we have bridal shower and groom shower. Basically similar traditional rituals thing (steps might be different based on our ethnic background), but will be heldseparately. My boyfriend gonna have a groom shower. No gifts involved, unfortunately. Usually family and friends will give cash gift during the wedding. 

We do have bachelor and bachelorette party too, albeit not as extravagant. But definitely vulgar cakes. (Also something we skip because of the pandemic)

[Nothing if not critical]

20 hours ago, Keys said:

Carlin posted a video of their pottery outing… why is it that none of them wear their masks properly. 🙃

I know, right? So irritating...

I'm doing pottery classes myself right now (ugh - I hate to have something in common with the Bateses), and everyone attending has to show proof of testing or vaccination. We are still required to wear proper medical masks all the time, and somehow, weirdly, we all manage to wear them for two and a half hours once a week, and to keep our mouths and noses covered all the time. I really don't get what the fuss is about.

[backyard sylph]

10 hours ago, arareyeah said:

Interesting. So both families are involved and doing fun things. In here we have bridal shower and groom shower. Basically similar traditional rituals thing (steps might be different based on our ethnic background), but will be heldseparately. My boyfriend gonna have a groom shower. No gifts involved, unfortunately. Usually family and friends will give cash gift during the wedding. 

We do have bachelor and bachelorette party too, albeit not as extravagant. But definitely vulgar cakes. (Also something we skip because of the pandemic)

I thought the water ritual sounded touching. You have me thinking, as I often do, about this religious family who seems to have no...religion to anything they do. They don't strike me as spiritual either, in any way at all. And the trappings they're so eager to take part in are just the sort of shallow activities very churchy people would say lead them away from a "Godly life."

I don't agree in general, but in some of their cases, they're clearly just all walk and no talk. As to bridal shower traditions, I like thinking about how bridal showers started as just a way to help her start out in her new home, with excitement, hopefulness and promise. People lived with so little, but they offered the best of what they could to help someone else get off to a good start. I'm romanticizing it, but this all looks meaningless by comparison. Yet of course, the end result is the same: a young woman stuck into a narrow life because she's been taught to value so little else about the world.

[Jackie3]

13 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Katie definitely will keep the skirts after marriage. She is already doing a no touch courtship and you can bet that’s because of his family, not hers. She may eventually go to pants. But I don’t think it will be right away after marriage. 

I think Travis and Katie have talked about it. She's seen her sisters wearing pants and wants to also. She says, "My sisters are still good people. Alyssa, especially, is so nice to me! I can't believe God is mad at her for wearing pants. It's not about what you wear, it's how you act!" (She says this passionately, like it's a big discovery).

Travis agrees to whatever she wants, because he is in love. 

Like most young people, neither of them care much about the older generation thinks.

[artdecades]

Travis’s sister seems to still be skirts only after marriage, as does his brother’s new wife. They could be wearing jeans behind the scenes but the Clarks definitely promote a skirts only image. 

[Jackie3]

32 minutes ago, indianabones said:

This sounds like fanfiction to me.

Yes!

[just_ordinary]

If Travis feels strongly about the skirts only issue (either because he personally does or because he doesn’t question his family’s mindset or doesn’t want to get in a disagreement with them over it) there is zero chance Katie will wear jeans. 
We can never know for sure though. Katie might prefer skirts after all, maybe updating into a stepford, pencil skirt Barbie. Her current style screams otherwise to me, but that’s just my assumption. 
In comparison- Erin and Tori strike me as being mostly skirts by choice at this point. Chad would probably never go against anything Erin says and Bobby is in an environment where all his friends have pants wearing wives. But that could be a faulty assumptions on my part too.

The problem is not choosing skirts-only out of whatever revelation or conviction and feeling superior about it. The problem is that it’s in fact not a real choice. The second the headship objects, the issue is decided. That’s a very narrow frame of freedom. 

Edited November 5, 2021 by just_ordinary

[GreenBeans]

On 11/4/2021 at 4:10 AM, Vivi_music said:

I'm probably the minority, but I'd wear a jean skirt over jeans ANY DAY 😆 (not the long ones to the floor à la Duggar 2009 - more in Addalle's style). I just find most jeans uncomfortable and I think I look cuter in skirts in general.

The big difference is choice. I didn't grow up, forced by my parents to live by the rules of some sexist scripture verses.

That’s the point. Not a fan of (jean) skirts, but I really like wearing dresses. They can be so comfortable and I feel like I look very put together, much more so than when I put on a comfy pair of jeans and a sweater. But it’s a choice, and what I wear on any given day will depend on what I feel like, the weather, the activities planned for the day etc.

[Melissa1977]

I love skirts and dresses, but I have had denim skirts (both mini and knee-lenght -like those that Katie wears currently-) and I found them uncomfortable. I think jeans/denim are great for pants but skirts need another kind of fabric.

[raayx01]

17 minutes ago, GreenBeans said:

That’s the point. Not a fan of (jean) skirts, but I really like wearing dresses. They can be so comfortable and I feel like I look very put together, much more so than when I put on a comfy pair of jeans and a sweater. But it’s a choice, and what I wear on any given day will depend on what I feel like, the weather, the activities planned for the day etc.

I used to only wear skirts when I was little (not for religious or sexist reasons and they were much shorter) but I'm kind of tired of a lot of people acting like wearing a jean skirt is like wearing a strait jacket. If you grew up wearing them, then you're able to do pretty much anything, even physical activities wearing them and being just fine. 

[SorenaJ]

I wear skirts often because I find them more comfortable than trousers, and yeah, dresses (and skirts) make me feel like I look more put together. 

[CanadianMamam]

7 hours ago, artdecades said:

Travis’s sister seems to still be skirts only after marriage, as does his brother’s new wife. They could be wearing jeans behind the scenes but the Clarks definitely promote a skirts only image. 

This. I think Katie will stay skirts only. I definitely don't think she'll be in ripped jeans like her sisters.