Katie & Travis 2: Here Comes Yet Another Bates Young Bride

[TheGleeTeam]

On 9/1/2021 at 7:53 AM, lumpentheologie said:

This is the one Bates couple I'm not assuming is going to be quiverful right off the bat.  There doesn't seem to be any indication that the Clarks are quiverful: Travis only has 2 siblings, and only 2 cousins (the cousins and their parents are in their singing group). The Clarks are super fundie, but seem to like having nice things more than barrels of kids. And given how the Clark ideals have affected the courtship (no touch), it seems likely they'll also affect the marriage. Katie will be under Travis's authority and they'll be far away from the Bates fam, so I wouldn't be surprised if they're in that house for 5 years with only 2-3 kids.  And honestly at their age 5 years is probably the whole foreseeable future. 

I find it really interesting that the Bates in-laws who seem to have the strictest courtship rules also have a small number of children. Assuming it was intentional (not due to medical/fertility issues with the Clark parents), it makes me very curious if Katie and Travis will want/have lots of kids. I feel like purity culture has such an impact on evangelicals but far fewer evangelicals/fundies truly "leave the number of kids up to God". It's weird that this is the current/recent Bates courtship I'm most surprised by- that Katie is in a no-touch courtship marrying into a seemingly strict family (Nathan and Lawson's relationships- not surprising at all).

Also curious what the dynamic will be like with Travis's family owning a college and church (and school if I remember right?). I hope that will provide Katie with options for community at least, with moving far from home.

[nolongerIFBx]

14 hours ago, TheGleeTeam said:

I find it really interesting that the Bates in-laws who seem to have the strictest courtship rules also have a small number of children. Assuming it was intentional (not due to medical/fertility issues with the Clark parents), it makes me very curious if Katie and Travis will want/have lots of kids. I feel like purity culture has such an impact on evangelicals but far fewer evangelicals/fundies truly "leave the number of kids up to God". It's weird that this is the current/recent Bates courtship I'm most surprised by- that Katie is in a no-touch courtship marrying into a seemingly strict family (Nathan and Lawson's relationships- not surprising at all).

Also curious what the dynamic will be like with Travis's family owning a college and church (and school if I remember right?). I hope that will provide Katie with options for community at least, with moving far from home.

I think that the Clarks may be more the type of fundie that I was growing up. The Pill and condoms widely used. More permanent methods would be frowned on but it wasn't something we heard 3 times a week from the pulpit. Touching before marriage was. I've also seem some fundie Facebook friends looking forward to the Clark's next CD.

[rwmw]

I think that the Clarks may be more the type of fundie that I was growing up. The Pill and condoms widely used. More permanent methods would be frowned on but it wasn't something we heard 3 times a week from the pulpit. Touching before marriage was. I've also seem some fundie Facebook friends looking forward to the Clark's next CD.

To build on what you’ve said about impermanent birth control within those circles, do you think Katie and Travis are going to secretly use birth control?

Travis comes from a regular sized family, i can’t imagine being as young as he is, with the upbringing he’s had and wanting 97352512 kids.

If they do end up using birth control of some kind I wonder how her family would feel about it.

[uselesstrivia]

1 hour ago, rwmw said:

If they do end up using birth control of some kind I wonder how her family would feel about it.

I really wonder how these become family conversations.  As conservative as they claim to be there seem to be so many  intrusive conversations.  I don't know that I have ever had a family conversation about birth control methods once I was out of the house. I understand with active teenagers you discuss options but why do your parents/siblings get a vote after you are married?

How does it even come up?  "So I notice you're not pregnant yet......" What comes after that doesn't warrant "MIND YOUR BUSINESS"?

 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I really hope they aren’t quiverful. The Collingsworths seem super fundie. Hell they are all still skirts only. But they don’t seem to be quiverful. I’m sorry but when you see these smaller fundie families with plenty of money, time, and resources for their kids, the kid’s who grew up quiverful have to notice the difference. 

[CanadianMamam]

20 minutes ago, uselesstrivia said:

I really wonder how these become family conversations.  As conservative as they claim to be there seem to be so many  intrusive conversations.  I don't know that I have ever had a family conversation about birth control methods once I was out of the house. I understand with active teenagers you discuss options but why do your parents/siblings get a vote after you are married?

How does it even come up?  "So I notice you're not pregnant yet......" What comes after that doesn't warrant "MIND YOUR BUSINESS"?

 

I am definitely not conservative and people are still nosy. After we had two boys literally everyone asked me when/if we were going to try for a girl. In a family where pregnancy is frequent, I am sure they consider it normal to ask "when are you having another".

[Jigsaw3]

And conversely, when my cousin and spouse kept having babies/miscarriages that were worsening an already fragile health situation, my aunt did ask her 30-something child if they were going to consider birth control -- and then that information got to me. (They did stop having kids after one more successful pregnancy.) So families do discuss these things, but it's very case-specific: that aunt can have that discussion with her child, but I'm not sure my other aunt would have it with any of her children.

[JermajestyDuggar]

1 hour ago, CanadianMamam said:

I am definitely not conservative and people are still nosy. After we had two boys literally everyone asked me when/if we were going to try for a girl. In a family where pregnancy is frequent, I am sure they consider it normal to ask "when are you having another".

When I was pregnant with #2, I told everyone within shouting distance that this kid was my last. No matter if it had a vagina or penis. I had a second boy and some still asked. I snapped at them that we are done. I never wanted more than two. 

[Tdoc72]

5 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I am definitely not conservative and people are still nosy. After we had two boys literally everyone asked me when/if we were going to try for a girl. In a family where pregnancy is frequent, I am sure they consider it normal to ask "when are you having another".

With the amount of times we’ve heard they were using pregnancy tests at each other’s houses, I’d imagine it’s a regular topic. 

[just_ordinary]

13 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I am definitely not conservative and people are still nosy. After we had two boys literally everyone asked me when/if we were going to try for a girl. In a family where pregnancy is frequent, I am sure they consider it normal to ask "when are you having another".

Sure, but you can always just say “whenever God will bless us again” or something similar. 

[CanadianMamam]

4 minutes ago, just_ordinary said:

Sure, but you can always just say “whenever God will bless us again” or something similar. 

You can. Doesn’t meant people will stop asking. Whitney told Carlin she had been praying for her to have another baby. Layla isn’t even 2. All these people think about is babies. If Katie spaces her blessings in a reasonable manner or stops after 2 or 3, her family is definitely going to notice and ask what is wrong. Look at the insensitive questions Michaela has gotten on screen (let alone what we aren’t seeing). 

[rebeccawriter01]

On 9/17/2021 at 9:13 AM, CanadianMamam said:

You can. Doesn’t meant people will stop asking. Whitney told Carlin she had been praying for her to have another baby. Layla isn’t even 2. All these people think about is babies. If Katie spaces her blessings in a reasonable manner or stops after 2 or 3, her family is definitely going to notice and ask what is wrong. Look at the insensitive questions Michaela has gotten on screen (let alone what we aren’t seeing). 

Everyone in the family individually was asking Alyssa when Allie's birthday came around with no announcement. She seemed annoyed by it. 

[OHFL2009]

On 9/17/2021 at 9:13 AM, CanadianMamam said:

You can. Doesn’t meant people will stop asking. Whitney told Carlin she had been praying for her to have another baby. Layla isn’t even 2. All these people think about is babies. If Katie spaces her blessings in a reasonable manner or stops after 2 or 3, her family is definitely going to notice and ask what is wrong. Look at the insensitive questions Michaela has gotten on screen (let alone what we aren’t seeing). 

I agree that these people only ever think about babies (it is the only thing that makes them "special"), but in the case of Carlin, she had made it public knowledge that they were trying for a second, and she seems very close to Whitney, so I'm guessing they had plenty of conversations about Carlin wanting another baby, even before it was mentioned on social media. If Carlin had been telling Whitney for months that they were trying for a second, I don't find it unusual that Whitney would pray about it. 

[nolongerIFBx]

On 9/16/2021 at 4:35 PM, rwmw said:

To build on what you’ve said about impermanent birth control within those circles, do you think Katie and Travis are going to secretly use birth control?

Travis comes from a regular sized family, i can’t imagine being as young as he is, with the upbringing he’s had and wanting 97352512 kids.

If they do end up using birth control of some kind I wonder how her family would feel about it.

No way to know unless they say so, but I doubt they will initially. It all sounds really romantic when you're young and in love, and you've been raised with marriage and children as your ultimate goal. It's the Hyperemesis gravidarum, bed rest, up all night, work all day, etc. that brings reality into the situation and they find out what they really believe for themselves. I know someone with the opposite situation- she was raised that BC was fine, he was raised Quiverfull. 9 months after the first touch at the wedding she had a child and was pregnant again like two months later. That slowed the baby train down as she was put on near bed rest. Baby number three was a little slower to arrive and husband decided that BC was not the devil after all. Still got surprised with number 4, LOL.

[Grace]

18 hours ago, nolongerIFBx said:

No way to know unless they say so, but I doubt they will initially. It all sounds really romantic when you're young and in love, and you've been raised with marriage and children as your ultimate goal. It's the Hyperemesis gravidarum, bed rest, up all night, work all day, etc. that brings reality into the situation and they find out what they really believe for themselves. I know someone with the opposite situation- she was raised that BC was fine, he was raised Quiverfull. 9 months after the first touch at the wedding she had a child and was pregnant again like two months later. That slowed the baby train down as she was put on near bed rest. Baby number three was a little slower to arrive and husband decided that BC was not the devil after all. Still got surprised with number 4, LOL.

I agree. For these women, getting married is like getting your dream job and having a baby is like getting your first promotion. When you get your dream job it's not like you put off trying to get that promotion. Ha

[CanadianMamam]

I think Katie will have one baby pretty quickly. She obviously likes kids. She seems to genuinely adore Willow, Hazel and Layla (and I assume her other nieces and nephews, but you often see her with Carlin or Josie and their daughters). I feel like she will want a baby of her own, becuase that is how she was raised. It is more what happens after the first, I am curious about. 

[CanadianMamam]

Katie is turning into Lawson, constantly walking around with her earbuds in. 

[MaryOrMartha]

3 hours ago, CanadianMamam said:

I think Katie will have one baby pretty quickly. She obviously likes kids. She seems to genuinely adore Willow, Hazel and Layla (and I assume her other nieces and nephews, but you often see her with Carlin or Josie and their daughters). I feel like she will want a baby of her own, becuase that is how she was raised. It is more what happens after the first, I am curious about. 

Oh yes, I believe (fertility allowing) she will pop out #1 very quickly to establish her membership into the Mom Club that her sisters are already a part of.

[CanadianMamam]

10 minutes ago, MaryOrMartha said:

Oh yes, I believe (fertility allowing) she will pop out #1 very quickly to establish her membership into the Mom Club that her sisters are already a part of.

Exactly. She seems eager to join. A while ago, Carlin had a story of them at the roller rink pushing strollers. Carlin, Whitney and Katie with Willow and Carlin tagged it “mom life”. I think Katie very much wants to be part of that club. 

[rebeccawriter01]

I think her desire to be part of the Mom Club will be even higher living in NJ with her new husband and no other family. I doubt it would occur to her to wait or postpone that. 

[Angelface]

On 9/22/2021 at 3:31 PM, rebeccawriter01 said:

I think her desire to be part of the Mom Club will be even higher living in NJ with her new husband and no other family. I doubt it would occur to her to wait or postpone that. 

I think that that is probably true but Travis will be in charge (as her “headship”) and a baby straight away may not be what he wants. Perhaps he would like time together being able to touch and have privacy, to complete his degree, to get a job and to offer encouragement to Katie to find work and settle in and make some friends. I hope that this is what Travis wants rather than a baby nine months after the wedding. Neither of his siblings have announced a pregnancy yet so there is hope. 

[arareyeah]

I think perhaps Katie will immediately get pregnant but probably won't be quiverfull. Aside from Travis' family, she has to think about the possibility of having the same health problems as her sisters, no? But then again, we're talking about a Bates here. My half-sister had preeclampsia and lost her baby just a couple weeks ago. I'm getting married in a couple of months, the thing with my half-sister already spooked me enough and I will discuss things with my gyno first before we even start to talk about having a baby. This discuss things with her doctor stuff, I don't think Katie will do unless she has a problem during her pregnancy.

[Flossie]

20 hours ago, arareyeah said:

My half-sister had preeclampsia and lost her baby just a couple weeks ago. I'm getting married in a couple of months, the thing with my half-sister already spooked me enough and I will discuss things with my gyno first before we even start to talk about having a baby.

Definitely talk to your doctor before you become pregnant, simply so you can take preventative measures if necessary, and can recognize the signs if preeclampsia were it to happen.  But I'm not sure if having a half-sister develop it means that you are at a higher risk.  I had it with my first, and with my third I got it after the baby was born.  (With the first, having the baby fixed the problem.  With the other, I spent 24 hours laying on my left side while taking blood pressure meds and whatever they put in the IV.)  Yet I know of none of my female relatives that have had it.

Forewarned is forearmed, but I hope your doctor can help you keep the anxiety at bay so you can enjoy your pregnancy better.

[arareyeah]

3 hours ago, Flossie said:

Forewarned is forearmed, but I hope your doctor can help you keep the anxiety at bay so you can enjoy your pregnancy better.

Yes definitely will do that! I'm anxious because I'll be 33 this year. Aside from my fertility obviously won't be be as great as someone in their 20s, our dad has high blood pressure so her doc said while stress could be a factor (our SIL passed away from COVID back in July and my sister was quite close with her), it's also more than likely due to genetic.

My other half-sister (I shared a mom with) had 3 smooth pregnancies, then again she had her babies in her 20s. Our mom had gestational diabetes when she was pregnant with my brother and later on developed type II diabetes in her 50s. Gotta be extra careful, being genetically predisposed to such things from both sides.

I can't quite fathom the Bates girls kinda just having babies willy nilly without considering their own health after what happened to their sisters and themselves. Not sure if the Clarks a bit more careful. With Travis being so young, I doubt it TBH.

[CanadianMamam]

I mean at least the Bates sisters do get proper pregnancy care. Carlin is seeing. A high risk ob-gyn and is getting regular check-ups Erin probably is as well. Should they be popping out bay after baby, of course not, but at least they do get proper pregnancy care and at least Katie knows what to expect. She even went with Carlin to an appointment recently.