Michaela & Brandon 6: She Is an LPN and He Is Boring.....

[CarrotCake]

Maybe her period was late and that is why she tested. If they are not doing any treatments I hope she is not testing every month.

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, AussieKrissy said:

sending you some love and light and some magic baby dust. I hope your dreams come true. xoxoxox 

I thought she had by saying something along the lines of I am not working full time so I am able to dedicate time to fertility treatments or something like that 

She said she didn't have a job because she wanted to be available for medical tests. She's no doubt under some kind of fertility treatment or, at least, intensive controls. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

I often wonder what she would be open to. Of course I don’t think she would be open to IVF. But I wonder about clomid and other meds. I’m guessing she would be open to clomid, possibly a trigger shot (to trigger ovulation), and then perfectly timed sweet fellowship. If that doesn’t work, maybe IUI. 

[SisterCupcake]

15 hours ago, QuiverFullofBooks said:

It looks like I had accidentally selected the video-only option. Thanks! Surely she’s doing fertility treatments, or why would she be doing a test now? 

Thanks for posting it. I’m on vacation in a country without cell access and have to wait until I’m on wifi to post. 

[QuiverFullofBooks]

15 minutes ago, SisterCupcake said:

Thanks for posting it. I’m on vacation in a country without cell access and have to wait until I’m on wifi to post. 

It was actually @JDuggs. Enjoy your vacation!

[Bluebirdbluebell]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I often wonder what she would be open to. Of course I don’t think she would be open to IVF. But I wonder about clomid and other meds. I’m guessing she would be open to clomid, possibly a trigger shot (to trigger ovulation), and then perfectly timed sweet fellowship. If that doesn’t work, maybe IUI. 

I think if you read the whole thread, she told people that IVF is not an option due to the family clotting disorder which she has. 

[Melissa1977]

5 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I often wonder what she would be open to. Of course I don’t think she would be open to IVF. But I wonder about clomid and other meds. I’m guessing she would be open to clomid, possibly a trigger shot (to trigger ovulation), and then perfectly timed sweet fellowship. If that doesn’t work, maybe IUI. 

It took years for Rachell Wismann to confess she started fertility treatments just 1 year after marriage. Those fundies trust God's will... until that will does not fit their scheme.

I think Michaela could do IVF under the promise of not destroying any embryo. She could keep the embryos frozen and get a couple of them implanted every year. (Oh I just read that she cannot do IVF because the clotting disorder, so definitely no IVF for her). That said, I know young healthy women who tried IVF and didn't work. 

I'm a sad for that eventual kid. Parents are strict and dull and the kid will have the pressure to be the perfect blessing. How suffocating.

Edited August 1, 2022 by Melissa1977
Clarify

[Keys]

Maybe it’s because I just gave birth to our first babe myself (typing this as I cuddle our sweet newborn), but I do feel for Michaela. I remember right before we started trying, the yearning to have a little one was so strong, and I’ve wanted to be a mom my entire life. Finding out I was pregnant was one of the most joyful things I’ve experienced. Babies are truly a blessing, and I can empathize with how it could feel to not be able to get pregnant. I recognize their horrible and awful beliefs, but it does seem like she would be a nurturing mother. 

[Bluebirdbluebell]

She will probably spank her kids if not blanket train them. They will also be raised in a very fundie household. 

Her reputation is that she is such a kind person who her family takes advantage of, but she hasn't been there all that much for Carlin. If Carlin were my sister and I was able to be there for her, I would be there constantly.

[llucie]

31 minutes ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

She will probably spank her kids if not blanket train them. They will also be raised in a very fundie household. 

Her reputation is that she is such a kind person who her family takes advantage of, but she hasn't been there all that much for Carlin. If Carlin were my sister and I was able to be there for her, I would be there constantly.

Well if she is going trought fertility treatments at the moment it would be understandable for her not to be available. She just posted that she was devastated after a negative pregnancy test. The fact she was even taking a test after saying just months ago that fertility results were very negative and she would need a huge miracle to get pregnant naturally makes me thing they are actually doing something currently be it IVF or some other treatments and just choosing not to share it. But this is just my speculation maybe she is really doing nothing who knows.

[CanadianMamam]

1 hour ago, Bluebirdbluebell said:

. 

Her reputation is that she is such a kind person who her family takes advantage of, but she hasn't been there all that much for Carlin. If Carlin were my sister and I was able to be there for her, I would be there constantly.

If Michael is going through fertity treatments they are likely taking up most of her time and energy. She would also be of limited physical help. 

[Melissa1977]

2 hours ago, Keys said:

I recognize their horrible and awful beliefs, but it does seem like she would be a nurturing mother. 

Nurturing with a newborn? Probably. She loves babies (but she is the fundiest of her family, in a cult that thinks hitting little kids is godly and loving). She believes and has been vocal about women and men having different roles and in keeping sweet and praying sadness/depression away... It's an absolutely toxic environment for a kid.

[AussieKrissy]

I wonder why the clotting disorder would stop her? Do people suspect it’s code for “against religious beliefs?”

[JermajestyDuggar]

I could see some fundies “saving” embryos that have been in storage for many years. Giving them a chance at life or whatever they say. That might align with some beliefs. 

[llucie]

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

I wonder why the clotting disorder would stop her? Do people suspect it’s code for “against religious beliefs?”

I am pretty sure that she has never said the clotting dissorders prevent her from doing IVF, or even mentioned IVF for that matter. Pretty sure this rumour comes from speculation related to a Q&A where she mentioned that they were seeing a really good specialist that had found she had multiple blood clotting dissorders. She also mentioned surrogacy and said that " we have never personally considered surrogacy. And after testing with our fertility specialist this past year, it is not a medical option either".

At the time people speculated that maybe they couldnt retrieve her eggs because of the clotting dissorders and thus surrogacy not being an option medically. In that case obviously IVF wouldnt be an option either.

 

 

 

[sndral]

1 hour ago, AussieKrissy said:

I wonder why the clotting disorder would stop her? Do people suspect it’s code for “against religious beliefs?”

I’m no expert - but normal pregnancy triggers hormones that likely cause some of the Bates women’s clotting disorder and w/ an IVF pregnancy they inject those hormones to trigger ovulation for harvesting eggs & for implanting fertilized eggs, I assume the same or worse risks exist w/ IVF?  https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/joim.13136

[Dominionatrix]

It probably doesn’t help that she spends her days sewing baby blankets and little baby hats. Maybe she finds it therapeutic to think that her work is bringing babies comfort, but it just seems like a special form of torture for someone battling infertility. A break from focusing on things related to babies would probably do her good. 

[Jackie3]

6 minutes ago, Dominionatrix said:

It probably doesn’t help that she spends her days sewing baby blankets and little baby hats. Maybe she finds it therapeutic to think that her work is bringing babies comfort, but it just seems like a special form of torture for someone battling infertility. A break from focusing on things related to babies would probably do her good. 

I agree! I always thought that was a rather destructive hobby for someone who wants babies but cannot have them. Take up tennis or something, Michaela! 

[HermioneSparrow]

16 hours ago, Melissa1977 said:

Nurturing with a newborn? Probably. She loves babies (but she is the fundiest of her family, in a cult that thinks hitting little kids is godly and loving). She believes and has been vocal about women and men having different roles and in keeping sweet and praying sadness/depression away... It's an absolutely toxic environment for a kid.

I agree with you and while I don't want any more kids born there, I think we can also recognize that growing up and living in such an environment must be devastating to be infertile when your whole life you've been told your sole purpose in existence is to be a mother and have tons of kids.

I have to say, I don't feel comfortable ripping apart this woman for everything she does or doesn't, she isn't having kids anytime soon and maybe at all, she isn't adopting right now as far as we know. So, can we feel a little compassion? I feel like this thread is constantly pointing what she isn't even doing, like she has been taken advantage of her whole life and we snark that (rightfully so) but when she isn't available to help for example, Carlin, then Michaela is the bad guy too. 

She sucks like everyone in this cult, I get it, but she's also a woman who's having a really hard time and I honestly prefer to point out the many ways her religious upbringing is not helping her or any woman in her situation. I truly hope she doesn't bring any kid into this environment but at the same time I can feel compassion for what she's going through and the multiple ways she's still abused there and give her some grace.

Disclaimer: I hope my point came across, I'm not blaming or trying to gatekeep anyone, you can snark away. I just think most people in this board are great people and maybe we can do a little better? If I'm wrong, just ignore me lol.

[Jackie3]

On 8/2/2022 at 6:46 AM, HermioneSparrow said:

I have to say, I don't feel comfortable ripping apart this woman for everything she does or doesn't, she isn't having kids anytime soon and maybe at all, she isn't adopting right now as far as we know. So, can we feel a little compassion? I feel like this thread is constantly pointing what she isn't even doing, like she has been taken advantage of her whole life and we snark that (rightfully so) but when she isn't available to help for example, Carlin, then Michaela is the bad guy too. 

 

I agree. First of all, when Michaela said those things she was 1)being filmed, 2) pretty young and 3) saying exactly what she'd heard all her life. Most young adults parrot some of the things they were taught growing up. 

She's getting older and is experiencing some of life's trials. Who knows what she thinks right now? At this point, if she had a baby, maybe that child would be such a miracle that she'd refuse to use the harsh disciplinary methods her cult recommends. Maybe she's seen, firsthand, how damaging it is to raise a girl to be a baby machine, and she'd encourage her own little girl to have broader horizons. Maybe not, "You can be President!" but perhaps, "It's good to learn a marketable skill."

Maybe, over the last few years, watching her sisters conceive effortlessly, she's thought a bit about her cult and questioned a few things. If she has, it's unlikely she'll share these "rebellious" thoughts on instagram.

I feel sorry for Michaela. I think she drew the short straw in the Bates family. A childhood of endless work and responsibility, a cold husband (imo) and now infertility (I've always suspected it's his, though they deny it).  Imagine having to smile and hide your pain at each new baby that arrives in the family, and there's so many!.

She was once the big sister, the boss, and now everyone is pitying her. She must hear so many clumsy and insensitive comments from her family, who are not known for their sensitivity.

Edited August 3, 2022 by Jackie3

[SassyPants]

On 8/2/2022 at 8:46 AM, HermioneSparrow said:

I agree with you and while I don't want any more kids born there, I think we can also recognize that growing up and living in such an environment must be devastating to be infertile when your whole life you've been told your sole purpose in existence is to be a mother and have tons of kids.

I have to say, I don't feel comfortable ripping apart this woman for everything she does or doesn't, she isn't having kids anytime soon and maybe at all, she isn't adopting right now as far as we know. So, can we feel a little compassion? I feel like this thread is constantly pointing what she isn't even doing, like she has been taken advantage of her whole life and we snark that (rightfully so) but when she isn't available to help for example, Carlin, then Michaela is the bad guy too. 

She sucks like everyone in this cult, I get it, but she's also a woman who's having a really hard time and I honestly prefer to point out the many ways her religious upbringing is not helping her or any woman in her situation. I truly hope she doesn't bring any kid into this environment but at the same time I can feel compassion for what she's going through and the multiple ways she's still abused there and give her some grace.

Disclaimer: I hope my point came across, I'm not blaming or trying to gatekeep anyone, you can snark away. I just think most people in this board are great people and maybe we can do a little better? If I'm wrong, just ignore me lol.

While I agree with this and think it would be a compassionate notion for the Keillans to have 1 or at max 2 children to see how parenting and childhood are affected by limited numbers of offspring and more 1:1 time, I also appreciate that as adults M and B need to adopt some healthy coping mechanisms, and M, in particular, needs to cultivate worthwhile and self affirming hobbies, friendships and endeavors. IMO, one cannot put their life on hold waiting for something that may never happen. 

[JDuggs]

I agree with everything @HermioneSparrow and for the first time, almost everything @Jackie3 said above. It seems like just because Michael and Brandon are having fertility issues, many are jumping right to “good, no more kids in the cult.” But her siblings don’t really have to deal with that level of negativity because it’s somewhat accepted that they will be having children. To judge Michael as a potential mother based on her sister-momming isn’t fair. Her sisters actually seemed to not take up sister-mom responsibilities like Michael did. I think Michael did it because she loved kids, not because she wanted to beat kids. On the Duggar side, it seemed to be the consensus that Jessa was a disinterested sister-mom, but appears to be a more caring mother. But Michael is just seen as a future blanket trainer without any regard to how she might really mother her own potential kids.

I can easily empathize with someone who desperately wants to be a mother, but hasn’t been able to. And on top of that, she has to deal with the belief that God is involved her infertility. So far, God has been saying to Michael that she doesn’t deserve the one thing she truly wants. That has got to be a double whammy.

[irish_dancing_canadian]

On 8/1/2022 at 12:21 AM, GuineaPigCourtship said:

I really feel for her, but I simultaneously can't wish her fertility while she remains in the cult. No innocent babies deserve that upbringing.

This I do agree with. However if she does get a miracle pregnancy I do really hope it's a boy. Always better to be born a boy in that cult. 

[Dbm]

I just feel for Michaela, It must be hard to make these posts.

Spoiler

 

[HideousGreenShirt]

On 8/2/2022 at 2:32 AM, Dominionatrix said:

It probably doesn’t help that she spends her days sewing baby blankets and little baby hats. Maybe she finds it therapeutic to think that her work is bringing babies comfort, but it just seems like a special form of torture for someone battling infertility. A break from focusing on things related to babies would probably do her good. 

So I have a friend who struggles with infertility and this is something I think about frequently. She has one remaining embryo/ivf cycle and is desperate for a baby more than anything else.

Her job is working as a neonatal nurse and she cares for premature babies 24/7. She says she loves it but I just can't help wonder how much it must also hurt her to constantly be around other people's babies.