Seewalds 42: Trying to Stay Relevant

[feministxtian]

4 hours ago, LillyP said:

when they're 3 and eating Cheetos off the floor how you fed them in those early years won't matter. My 16m old constantly gets busted for eating dog food. 

between the dogs and kids, I never had to worry about food on the floor. I had kids eating out of the dog food bowl, drinking out of their water dish, Rufus only knows what they ate outside...and you know what? They survived. My kids and my steps (that I raised) are between the ages of 36 and 29 now. Healthy as horses. The girls (bio daughter and steps) are tiny as hell, the tallest one is a whopping 5' 3" and maybe 125lbs after a good meal. The shortest one is barely 5' tall and 100lbs. All three of them are moms of healthy kids too. The boys? One is 6'1" tall and about 175, the other is 5' 7" (he got my genes) and 145lbs. 

Guess what...as long as they have a steady source of decent nutrition through their growing up years (or just buy out a grocery store when they hit puberty), they'll be perfectly healthy human beings. Back when I was pregnant, there weren't all the precautions they have now...I had a drink now and then, smoked, ate all the shit you're not supposed to eat now and well...they survived and so did I (don't ask about my sanity surviving, that blew town years ago). 

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't get wrapped around all the shit you hear and read. Do what's right for YOU and your baby. Fill one end, keep the other end dry and clean and you're pretty much good to go. 

Yeah, I know I'm an old, opinionated beyatch, but honestly, it doesn't fucking matter by the time they're 21. 

ETA: Good prenatal care and a good pediatrician are of course, a requirement. 

Edited August 3, 2019 by feministxtian

[Rosalie]

Sorry if I’m repeating myself.

As a childfree adult I fund it quite amusing watching families with babies on vacation. Before and during meals the child and the table in front of it and even the baby chair, is disinfected several times. And an hour later, the child is crawling on the poolside licking the floor. ?

[fluffernutter]

13 hours ago, feministxtian said:

between the dogs and kids, I never had to worry about food on the floor. I had kids eating out of the dog food bowl, drinking out of their water dish, Rufus only knows what they ate outside...and you know what? They survived. My kids and my steps (that I raised) are between the ages of 36 and 29 now. Healthy as horses. The girls (bio daughter and steps) are tiny as hell, the tallest one is a whopping 5' 3" and maybe 125lbs after a good meal. The shortest one is barely 5' tall and 100lbs. All three of them are moms of healthy kids too. The boys? One is 6'1" tall and about 175, the other is 5' 7" (he got my genes) and 145lbs. 

Guess what...as long as they have a steady source of decent nutrition through their growing up years (or just buy out a grocery store when they hit puberty), they'll be perfectly healthy human beings. Back when I was pregnant, there weren't all the precautions they have now...I had a drink now and then, smoked, ate all the shit you're not supposed to eat now and well...they survived and so did I (don't ask about my sanity surviving, that blew town years ago). 

I guess what I'm trying to say is don't get wrapped around all the shit you hear and read. Do what's right for YOU and your baby. Fill one end, keep the other end dry and clean and you're pretty much good to go. 

Yeah, I know I'm an old, opinionated beyatch, but honestly, it doesn't fucking matter by the time they're 21. 

ETA: Good prenatal care and a good pediatrician are of course, a requirement. 

I ate tuna and lunch meat daily when I was pregnant because I thought protein was important. Then many years later my sister in law was pregnant and we were discussing food and she said she had to limit tuna due to mercury and lunchmeat due to nitrates. My kids are fine, hers are fine. Even my husband, who was fed cereal in a bottle at two weeks and normal cow's milk at 3 months is fine. I feel for this generation of parents because the pressure is huge to do everything exactly right. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

8 hours ago, Rosalie said:

Sorry if I’m repeating myself.

As a childfree adult I fund it quite amusing watching families with babies on vacation. Before and during meals the child and the table in front of it and even the baby chair, is disinfected several times. And an hour later, the child is crawling on the poolside licking the floor. ?

Well duh, the pool water is chlorinated, so it’s all good!

[BernRul]

On 8/2/2019 at 4:57 PM, Jessesgirl said:

I love this! When I was pregnant, I would sip wine with dinner every couple of weeks or so. My doctor had  no problem with this. Other people couldn’t believe I was doing this and felt compelled to comment and judge. I honestly think soda/ diet soda/ sugary drinks are more damaging than a glass of wine.  But if  I saw a pregnant woman drinking those beverages, I would never say anything. It’s none of my business and Between  her and her doctor. 

That's exactly what I feel too! I find it strange how American society views soda vs other unhealthy indulgences in general. It's odd to me that kids get so many lectures/classes on how unhealthy smoking is yet we consider it totally normal to give them a bunch of soda. Nowadays, soda's probably the bigger health threat since so few people smoke anymore.  But again, I wouldn't say something either--we all have our own unhealthy habits. 

[VelociRapture]

The way I look at it, each generation of parents face their own unique struggles and they each do the best with the knowledge they have available at the time. It can be stressful being the parent of young kids in modern times, but I’m still happy to be doing it now. I’m grateful for the advancements in science and technology that are helping me keep my kids as healthy and safe as I can. I’m also grateful for the common sense I was born and raised with because it helps me understand that not every recommendation is always going to work for my family or situation - and as long as we’re trying our best that’s ok. 

[SilverBeach]

14 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

I’m still happy to be doing it now

As it shoud be, it's your time. I was happy doing it thirty years ago, which was my time. Things weren't so bad then. No random mass shootings , active shooter drills and the like, sending my child to school now would terrify me. The human race survives somehow. 

Edited August 4, 2019 by SilverBeach

[xlurker]

5 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

No random mass shootings , active shooter drills and the like, sending my child to school now would terrify me

I do, however, remember bomb drills--although truthfully the chances of the bomb were less than an active shooter....my school had a "fall out shelter" sign on the front door.  Different times, different terrors.  Real or imagined (at the time we generally don't know the difference) its all the same.   And it also may have been mainly in my part of the country (North East)  Manhattan was a  stones 'throw away, and DC just a couple hours by train.   I am happy I was raised when I was, and I raised my children when I did and would be crazy happy if one of those said children would raise a grandchild in this crazy time we now live in.  As humans we persevere.

 

This is no way was meant to make light of active shooter situations in any way!

[Smee]

The thing that pisses me off about Aussie drinking culture and pregnancy is that if you’re just a non-drinker (like me) who happens to be female of child-bearing age, you can’t go out or to Christmas lunch or a wedding or whatever without someone asking if you’re pregnant. Like that’s the ONLY REASON someone might not want to get drunk, and even if it was the reason, the state of my uterus is none of your damn business until I offer up information on it voluntarily. I really feel for non-drinkers and light drinkers who are going through infertility. And then people in the early stages of pregnancy who aren’t ready to announce yet feel compelled to make excuses and lie about being on medication or designated driver or having strange reactions etc because they can’t just choose not to drink without someone asking them why not.

[SilverBeach]

4 hours ago, xlurker said:

I do, however, remember bomb drills

That would have been my generation, not my daughter's. I don't remember drills, although there was a  fallout shelter in my school.  I don't recall being scared.

4 hours ago, xlurker said:

Different times, different terrors.

I just didn't find anything terrifying in my school years (1960's/70s). Perhaps my older sister (8 years older than me) was more aware of the cold war and nuclear tensions, but it really didn't affect me.

[carmenp97]

6 hours ago, xlurker said:

I do, however, remember bomb drills--although truthfully the chances of the bomb were less than an active shooter....my school had a "fall out shelter" sign on the front door.  Different times, different terrors.  Real or imagined (at the time we generally don't know the difference) its all the same.   And it also may have been mainly in my part of the country (North East)  Manhattan was a  stones 'throw away, and DC just a couple hours by train.

We were still doing bomb drills in the early 80s in the Midwest. They had us get under our desks, closed all the curtains and doors, and turned out the lights. A whole heck of a lot of good that would have done for us if the Soviets were nuking us...

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

They had these emergency sirens to announce incoming nuclear threats.  And they did drills with them on a regular basis, like once every two weeks or so, those suckers were outside and really loud.  Then there were the television tests they did every day, it was really hard for little kids to ignore, I don’t think it was really fear us kids felt, just an ongoing anxiety.  It was miles better than having to sit in school wondering if some lunatic was going to break down the classroom door and kill everyone.  

[nvmbr02]

26 minutes ago, carmenp97 said:

We were still doing bomb drills in the early 80s in the Midwest. They had us get under our desks, closed all the curtains and doors, and turned out the lights. A whole heck of a lot of good that would have done for us if the Soviets were nuking us...

The same drills were happening in Guam just a couple of years ago when the North Korean threat was high. The government was nice enough to send fliers home with the kids to let us know not to use conditioner if we were hit with a nuclear bomb. 

[CarrotCake]

10 hours ago, Smee said:

The thing that pisses me off about Aussie drinking culture and pregnancy is that if you’re just a non-drinker (like me) who happens to be female of child-bearing age, you can’t go out or to Christmas lunch or a wedding or whatever without someone asking if you’re pregnant. Like that’s the ONLY REASON someone might not want to get drunk, and even if it was the reason, the state of my uterus is none of your damn business until I offer up information on it voluntarily. I really feel for non-drinkers and light drinkers who are going through infertility. And then people in the early stages of pregnancy who aren’t ready to announce yet feel compelled to make excuses and lie about being on medication or designated driver or having strange reactions etc because they can’t just choose not to drink without someone asking them why not.

When I am designated driver I almost always drink one alcohol beverage. Because I like it but mainly because I want to kill all these thoughts. 

I would expect though that for someone who does not drink in general, it is less of an issue since people know that. But I guess you have the same problem, but then even more often.

[princessmahina]

15 hours ago, Smee said:

The thing that pisses me off about Aussie drinking culture and pregnancy is that if you’re just a non-drinker (like me) who happens to be female of child-bearing age, you can’t go out or to Christmas lunch or a wedding or whatever without someone asking if you’re pregnant. Like that’s the ONLY REASON someone might not want to get drunk, and even if it was the reason, the state of my uterus is none of your damn business until I offer up information on it voluntarily. I really feel for non-drinkers and light drinkers who are going through infertility. And then people in the early stages of pregnancy who aren’t ready to announce yet feel compelled to make excuses and lie about being on medication or designated driver or having strange reactions etc because they can’t just choose not to drink without someone asking them why not.

I’m not Australian, but when I got pregnant and quit drinking, I wasn’t interested in telling people yet. But they kept asking why, which was SO annoying. Thank goodness for the timing— first I told them I drank too much on my honeymoon and felt like I needed to “dry out.” Then I told them I’d given it up for lent. 

 

And by then, I was throwing up constantly and couldn’t hide it anymore ??‍♀️ It’d be great if people could just get a “no thank you” and leave it at that. 

[feministxtian]

I don't drink as a rule (there are exceptions at home) but not when I'm out. My friends all know this (Thank God) but if anyone asks I just say I'm a genetic alcoholic (alcoholism runs on both sides of my family). They usually shut the hell up after that. 

[EyesOpen]

16 hours ago, nvmbr02 said:

The same drills were happening in Guam just a couple of years ago when the North Korean threat was high. The government was nice enough to send fliers home with the kids to let us know not to use conditioner if we were hit with a nuclear bomb. 

I gotta ask... do they explain why not to use conditioner? My brain is super weird sometimes. Sorry, that must have been scary for everyone!

[JordynDarby5]

19 hours ago, carmenp97 said:

We were still doing bomb drills in the early 80s in the Midwest. They had us get under our desks, closed all the curtains and doors, and turned out the lights. A whole heck of a lot of good that would have done for us if the Soviets were nuking us...

I remember doing that in elementary school in the 80s the first time I thought it was weird and told my parents that night and they told me they used to do that all the time in school. It stopped of course after the break up replaced by the other bomb threat which my schools always tried to pretend was a fire drill except police would show up and search the school for a bomb and it always lasted about two hours instead of the usual fifteen or twenty minutes for fire drill. From nuclear bombs, to bomb threats, to active shooters. It would so be nice to hope it just stops all together but that's so not likely. 

Edited August 5, 2019 by JordynDarby5

[backyard sylph]

I went to school in the Kansas City (that's mainly in Missouri) area from 1970-1983, and had barely even heard of bomb drills, maybe not til high school when someone showed that Duck and Cover cartoon to make fun of it. 

We had many tornado drills, though, and the real thing now and then.

[nvmbr02]

8 hours ago, EyesOpen said:

I gotta ask... do they explain why not to use conditioner? My brain is super weird sometimes. Sorry, that must have been scary for everyone!

Apparently conditioner causes the radioactive material to bind to your hair. I had no idea until I read it. 

The fact sheet was mostly common sense... Don't look directly at the flash or fireball, and stay indoors, etc... 

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

9 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I don't drink as a rule (there are exceptions at home) but not when I'm out. My friends all know this (Thank God) but if anyone asks I just say I'm a genetic alcoholic (alcoholism runs on both sides of my family). They usually shut the hell up after that. 

I'm a very light drinker (not very often, and I've never had more than 2 drinks in a day) and I don't get asked much anymore. But, I have brought up my abusive alcoholic grandfather in the past when people got pushy or nosy. I wish everybody would just accept a polite "not for me", whether it's a drink or a particular food that's being declined. It would save us all a lot of trouble.

[prayawaythefundie]

22 hours ago, CarrotCake said:

I would expect though that for someone who does not drink in general, it is less of an issue since people know that.

You would think they do but nope, they don‘t. I‘m 31 years old, been working at the same place for 4 years, never ever drank and still get asked if I‘m pregnant every single time one of my coworkers offers champagne for their birthday toast. They also offer orange juice for those who like the mix but dare you ask for just orange juice. By now my answer to „Are you pregnant?“ (Always coming with a shocked face btw) is „Yes, constantly, for the last 31 years“. It does make them shut up. ?

Edited August 6, 2019 by prayawaythefundie

[Peaches-n-Beans]

I have to say I drink fairly regularly, 3-4 nights a week (which i understand for america is a lot, but for Korea it's really not) but am rarely drunk. unless I'm drinking hard alcohol I almost never get more then tipsy. I can have 4-5 beers in a night (which for Korean drinking culture is not much) (and for the record I don't usually have that much) and then walk home from the bar (about a kilometer up a hill) just fine. However if I have wine i stop after 1 or 2 glasses. Hard alcohol is pretty much always a no but largely because I don't like the taste of it straight and don't care for many mixed drinks. Of course I don't have to worry about designated driver or anything as I neither own a car nor need one living in the city. If I was driving I definitely wouldn't have more then one beer, maybe and that depends on when I needed to drive. 

Edited August 6, 2019 by Peaches-n-Beans
typo correction

[Someone Out There]

I also don't drink.  My response is that I don't like the taste and have no desire to get used to the taste (which is the truth).  Interestingly I don't think anyone (aside from a girl in the 8th grade, and the kid next door) have asked me if I'm pregnant.  Then again I'm obese, not very social, and my other saying is that kids are fine so long as you can give them back after a few hours.

[VelociRapture]

I was never really a drinker because my dad is an alcoholic. He’s thankfully a happy drunk, but still not a great way to grow up and I never wanted to risk becoming dependent on alcohol. After having my daughter I started experiencing debilitating anxiety and panic attacks*, which I found were made worse by alcohol and caffeine. So I had to cut both of those out almost completely. Before getting pregnant again I would very rarely have a bit of one or the other, but it had to be under pretty ideal circumstances to cut down on the risk of a panic attack starting. Even that didn’t guarantee it wouldn’t happen though. 

I haven’t really faced any issues because of my non-drinking, even before I was pregnant the first time. People have thankfully been pretty respectful and fine with it (I’m in the Northeastern US.)

*My panic attacks are horrible. They literally come in quick waves for hours, so I have no chance to relax my mind. They usually start shortly before I go to bed and last until early in the morning (around 2 or 3), though I’ve had some that last all night long.