Seewalds 42: Trying to Stay Relevant

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

On 8/7/2019 at 10:52 AM, AtlanticTug said:

That was us with our son. He is chill and an angel child. He was such a wonderful and easy toddler (!!) that the daycare told me he is a "once in a generation" child and that if they had 30 of him they'd have the best job ever. He was just very deferential to authority, followed rules easily, wasn't aggressive, but was brilliant and social and basically easy.

Then we had our daughter. She was the opposite personality. She actually slept better and ate better and was even more social but she was VERY busy, listened to no one, followed her own path in life wherever it took her, had no fear or sense of safety and could not be trusted to be left alone for 1 second. She is a wonderful and fun little girl but extremely challenging on a day to day basis.

I used to be all smug about what a great kid I had until I realized it had nothing to do with me at all.

Oh, it had a LOT to do with you, if you'd been a lazy, asshole parent, your children would be assholes too. Own this!  You did good mama! 

Sounds almost exactly like my kids, except DD wouldn't sleep, but everything else, OH YEAH. I had teachers tell me at conferences what amazing kids I had, and what was the trick for raising such great kids. My kids won award for their positive attitues, and 

DS is 21 and DD is 19 and he's a bit hot tempered a lot hot tempered, and a lot more aggressive than he was a child/tween/young teen. I guess that is KIND OF a good thing, at least he won't be a push over. But he is the kindest sweetest, most caring soul you will ever meet. He will literally give you the jacket off his back (he did this one time for a homeless man in the rain). 

DD on the other had, is still strong willed, stubborn and an Independent young woman (Dear Rufus I've raised my mini me, she looks like me too), but her stubborn, strong willed determination will serve her well as she works her way toward dental school. She is a snarky, sassy, take no shit, tuff girl on the outside, but is a big cuddle bug mamas girl on the inside. 

[VelociRapture]

Personal tip on reading to kids:

I started reading chapter books to my daughter last year when she was just over a year old. It gives me a much needed break from picture books and helps introduce her to a ton of new vocabulary at the same time. My daughter will usually play with toys or play in the tub when I do this and she seems to enjoy it. She gets excited when she sees anything with Harry Potter on it because she knows who he is now and that makes me happy because I love Harry Potter. Right now we’re bouncing between “Goblet of Fire” (the Dark Mark was just cast after the World Cup) and “Mathilda” (Miss Honey just realized Mathilda is a genius.) 

[Someone Out There]

8 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Personal tip on reading to kids:

I started reading chapter books to my daughter last year when she was just over a year old. It gives me a much needed break from picture books and helps introduce her to a ton of new vocabulary at the same time. My daughter will usually play with toys or play in the tub when I do this and she seems to enjoy it. She gets excited when she sees anything with Harry Potter on it because she knows who he is now and that makes me happy because I love Harry Potter. Right now we’re bouncing between “Goblet of Fire” (the Dark Mark was just cast after the World Cup) and “Mathilda” (Miss Honey just realized Mathilda is a genius.) 

Yup, my understanding is that reading to little kids when their young is more about increasing their vocabulary  than anything else (when their a little older they may prefer them with more pictures I  don't know).  So you could potentially just read out loud whatever you're reading for yourself.  Podcasts also could expand the childs vocabulary.  That being said, apparently young kids don't filter the different noises very well so it's best not to have too many competing noises (particularly when talking to them).

[VelociRapture]

52 minutes ago, Someone Out There said:

Yup, my understanding is that reading to little kids when their young is more about increasing their vocabulary  than anything else (when their a little older they may prefer them with more pictures I  don't know).  So you could potentially just read out loud whatever you're reading for yourself.  Podcasts also could expand the childs vocabulary.  That being said, apparently young kids don't filter the different noises very well so it's best not to have too many competing noises (particularly when talking to them).

Yep to all of this. Young kids have brains like sponges in the sense that they soak everything up. So reading chapter books just makes sense to me because it exposes them to a ton of brand new vocabulary, even if they don’t understand it or they aren’t sitting still to listen. The added benefit is that it’s something I genuinely enjoy doing with her. Playing the same games, reading the same picture books, and doing the same chores all day gets really boring and it can be tempting to reach for my phone. Pulling out a chapter book and reading out loud while my daughter plays gives me a break from all that as it entertains her as she plays on the floor. Plus I don’t feel guilty like I might if I popped in a movie or put on a bit of Daniel Tiger (though that at least is pretty educational.) Definitely a win-win situation. 

[just_ordinary]

15 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

The way I look at it, if you love your kids and you’re doing your best that’s all that counts. There’s all kinds of research and articles and advice out there that completely contradict one another because most stuff concerning raising tiny humans isn’t a one size fits all thing. Just do your best to find some sort of balance in most areas l, make sure your kids are relatively healthy and safe, and your kids will probably be just fine. 

Thank you for (again) voicing my own opinion in such an eloquent way. I already had a long post written up but decided not to post it because it was too long, too incoherent and too judgemental!

[AtlanticTug]

10 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Personal tip on reading to kids:

I started reading chapter books to my daughter last year when she was just over a year old. It gives me a much needed break from picture books and helps introduce her to a ton of new vocabulary at the same time. 

My husband read Ben Bernanke's autobiography to our son that way. It was kind of hilarious.

[VelociRapture]

20 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

My husband read Ben Bernanke's autobiography to our son that way. It was kind of hilarious.

That’s phenomenal. ? But seriously, most books can be great to read to young kids simply for the vocabulary factor. It can be a great bonding experience too though. If you pick a topic or a book you’re interested in then it’s a great way to introduce your child to something important to you - and that can be a great way to create a shared interest down the road.

The first adult books I read to my daughter from were my anthology of Edgar Allan Poe and the Brothers Grimm Fairytales. She was as young as 3 months. Parenting done so, so right. 

ETA: We do this with music too actually. My daughter is a Billy Joel fan because I play classic rock on Amazon music so much. She seems to like the Beatles, Elton John, John Denver, and Fleetwood Mac too. It makes husband and I happy because we get to listen to music we genuinely enjoy and gives us a break from Disney or Toddler songs for a bit. Plus it’s cute watching our daughter dance around to. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by VelociRapture

[HermioneSparrow]

11 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Personal tip on reading to kids:

I started reading chapter books to my daughter last year when she was just over a year old. It gives me a much needed break from picture books and helps introduce her to a ton of new vocabulary at the same time. My daughter will usually play with toys or play in the tub when I do this and she seems to enjoy it. She gets excited when she sees anything with Harry Potter on it because she knows who he is now and that makes me happy because I love Harry Potter. Right now we’re bouncing between “Goblet of Fire” (the Dark Mark was just cast after the World Cup) and “Mathilda” (Miss Honey just realized Mathilda is a genius.) 

Omg... Your daughter is the bestest. *cries in parsel*

[Bobology]

2 hours ago, just_ordinary said:

Thank you for (again) voicing my own opinion in such an eloquent way. I already had a long post written up but decided not to post it because it was too long, too incoherent and too judgemental!

@just_ordinary I wish you had posted that. When it comes to sound advice about kids, or anything really, but especially our young kids, it doesn't hurt one bit to read the same type of info from different sources. I'm the nanny for my 6 year old and 1 year old grandkids and I am willing to keep improving my ways. In fact, when I get over there today I will begin reading aloud my own books when the 1 year-old is in the room playing. I raised two kids and somehow never considered doing this. (They turned out very much OK, winky-dink.)

[Exposedknees]

14 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

Personal tip on reading to kids:

I started reading chapter books to my daughter last year when she was just over a year old. It gives me a much needed break from picture books and helps introduce her to a ton of new vocabulary.

I did this too! My 2 are adults now, post grad, and lifelong readers.? 

I had only one issue. When my oldest was in 1st grade she was identified as 'delayed' and not reading at the preferred level. I was shocked. She ticked all the boxes for comprehension and sight words. After a week of

' intervention' the reading specialist advised that K was offended by having to read books with just a handful of words on the page?. All righted itself in about 2 months, and she went from 'delayed' to reading WAY above first grade level. As you get closer to kindergarten, you may want to add some JunieB Jones, Magic Treehouse, and Wayside school (early chapter books) to your repertoire. Velocikid will probably want " chapter books" as soon as possible, and those are a good bridge. When we made the leap to Harry Potter in 2nd grade- it was frustrating, so we took turns reading pages! 

Edited August 15, 2019 by Exposedknees
Repairs

[fluffernutter]

My kids are all grown up, but I remember well making my afternoon coffee, heading to my bed, and sending them to their bookshelf and saying get __ # of books. They would get to practice counting by getting 6, or 9, or whatever, and then they would bring them back and I'd enjoy my coffee and read for a nice long while. It's one of my favorite times and I hope to do it with grandkids some day far far away lol. Usually at night, it was my husband, since he was away all day. They all love to read now and the oldest actually majored in english!

[Melissa1977]

On 8/7/2019 at 5:52 PM, AtlanticTug said:

That was us with our son. He is chill and an angel child. He was such a wonderful and easy toddler (!!) that the daycare told me he is a "once in a generation" child and that if they had 30 of him they'd have the best job ever. He was just very deferential to authority, followed rules easily, wasn't aggressive, but was brilliant and social and basically easy.

Then we had our daughter. She was the opposite personality. She actually slept better and ate better and was even more social but she was VERY busy, listened to no one, followed her own path in life wherever it took her, had no fear or sense of safety and could not be trusted to be left alone for 1 second. She is a wonderful and fun little girl but extremely challenging on a day to day basis.

I used to be all smug about what a great kid I had until I realized it had nothing to do with me at all.

Similar to my own story as a mother. In my opinion, it's a good lesson for us moms. In adition, when there's an only child, we are extremely focused and it's easier to parent *right* or at least to feel it.

[feministxtian]

4 hours ago, VelociRapture said:

ETA: We do this with music too actually. My daughter is a Billy Joel fan because I play classic rock on Amazon music so much. She seems to like the Beatles, Elton John, John Denver, and Fleetwood Mac too. It makes husband and I happy because we get to listen to music we genuinely enjoy and gives us a break from Disney or Toddler songs for a bit. Plus it’s cute watching our daughter dance around to. 

I never did the toddler/kid songs...just couldn't handle it. So my kids got a steady dose of classic rock from before they were born. They now are STILL classic rock fans. The highlight of #1 son's life was seeing Jimmy Buffett. Daughter has seen Styx like every damn time they're in Denver. #2 son learned to play guitar b/c of me and Tommy Shaw. He plays mostly classic rock (don't ask me about the days of him learning the licks to "Lonely is the Night by Billy Squier). 

Play it now, play it all the time, they'll grab onto that stuff and won't let it go. 

PS...they're also HUGE Star Wars/Star Trek, NASA fans. Can't begin to imagine where they got that from

Edited August 15, 2019 by feministxtian

[libgirl2]

3 hours ago, feministxtian said:

I never did the toddler/kid songs...just couldn't handle it. So my kids got a steady dose of classic rock from before they were born. They now are STILL classic rock fans. The highlight of #1 son's life was seeing Jimmy Buffett. Daughter has seen Styx like every damn time they're in Denver. #2 son learned to play guitar b/c of me and Tommy Shaw. He plays mostly classic rock (don't ask me about the days of him learning the licks to "Lonely is the Night by Billy Squier). 

Play it now, play it all the time, they'll grab onto that stuff and won't let it go. 

PS...they're also HUGE Star Wars/Star Trek, NASA fans. Can't begin to imagine where they got that from

While we did some kids songs, I usually had my music going in the car. For like second grade, my son had to write a list of his favorite things and his favorite song was  "Love is the Drug" by Roxy Music. He also loved "Oo La La" by the Faces.He did like Led Zeppelin for awhile and now mostly listens to obscure music that his peers listen to. 

Edited August 15, 2019 by libgirl2

[VelociRapture]

10 hours ago, HermioneSparrow said:

Omg... Your daughter is the bestest. *cries in parsel*

Aw!!! Thank you! We kind of like her too. Jury is out on our son since he’s still a fetus and doesn’t know what Harry Potter is yet. If he doesn’t like it he’s out of the family though, so no pressure or anything. ?

[crancraz]

On 8/7/2019 at 8:52 AM, AtlanticTug said:

That was us with our son. He is chill and an angel child. He was such a wonderful and easy toddler (!!) that the daycare told me he is a "once in a generation" child and that if they had 30 of him they'd have the best job ever. He was just very deferential to authority, followed rules easily, wasn't aggressive, but was brilliant and social and basically easy.

Then we had our daughter. She was the opposite personality. She actually slept better and ate better and was even more social but she was VERY busy, listened to no one, followed her own path in life wherever it took her, had no fear or sense of safety and could not be trusted to be left alone for 1 second. She is a wonderful and fun little girl but extremely challenging on a day to day basis.

I used to be all smug about what a great kid I had until I realized it had nothing to do with me at all.

This is so true!! It’s so easy to be smug when you have one easy child. My oldest daughter was a dream toddler—compliant, gifted, obedient, etc. And I felt very much like my parenting style contributed to her easiness. 

Then my middle was born and it was like a whole different person (duh!). And nothing worked with her because she was really different. She needed a whole different wheelhouse of tricks and approaches. 

Same house. Same parents. Same methodology. And two very. different. people emerged. And I realized that assuming a baseline of love and security and safety is met, kids really just turn out to be who they are. It has very little to do with me, outside that baseline. And that’s ok. 

[MargaretElliott]

A kid no more than 6 walked through my work the other day (I'm a receptionist) belting "Old Town Road" at the top of his lungs and I died.

Kids are basically tiny drunk people.

[mollysmom]

I love to sing (I use the term "sing" very loosely) For the most part I'm a bubbly, happy person (who occasionally goes into the bathroom to cry haha it's all about balance!!) and for me, singing just goes along with that. I work in a loud warehouse & catch myself singing loud quite often (Sweet Caroline is my jam!) Probably about 6 months ago I got a new boss & he, too, loves to sing, loud. Lol I think it's the greatest thing but I honestly do try to be mindful of co-workers having a bad day. I don't want to be the one to annoy people. But yeah, that's what I am known for at every job I've ever had. 

Edited August 16, 2019 by mollysmom

[Meggo]

3 hours ago, MargaretElliott said:

A kid no more than 6 walked through my work the other day (I'm a receptionist) belting "Old Town Road" at the top of his lungs and I died.

Kids are basically tiny drunk people.

I say this all the time!! 
Toddlers often wake up in a different place than they fell asleep. Sometimes wearing different clothes - or NO clothes... They're often grumpy over seemingly minor things "I said I wanted my sandwich cut in squares AND rectangles"... they fall over a fair bit.

And why is Old Town Road the biggest hit in daycare?? 

[feministxtian]

38 minutes ago, mollysmom said:

I love to sing (I use the term "sing" very loosely) For the most part I'm a bubbly, happy person (who occasionally goes into the bathroom to cry haha it's all about balance!!) and for me, singing just goes along with that. I work in a loud warehouse & catch myself singing loud quite often (Sweet Caroline is my jam!) Probably about 6 months ago I got a new boss & he, too, loves to sing, loud. Lol I think it's the greatest thing but I honestly do try to be mindful of co-workers having a bad day. I don't want to be the one to annoy people. But yeah, that's what I am known for at every job I've ever had. 

Please don't sing that song...that's my first name and I hate my name and I hate that song...it seems that people feel free to sing that to me when they find out my name. I can't tell you how many people I've wanted to strangle for that. 

[mollysmom]

7 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Please don't sing that song...that's my first name and I hate my name and I hate that song...it seems that people feel free to sing that to me when they find out my name. I can't tell you how many people I've wanted to strangle for that. 

Totally understandable! I promise I'll never sing it around you  I can see how that would be more than annoying! 

[Screamapillar]

Very true. I was the ambassador of Earth in my younger days after a few drink when I was out on the town. Everyone needed, nay, wanted to be my best friend and hear everything I had to say.

And yesterday in Target my daughter kept exclaiming "Surprise! I'm Cinderella!" to every person who walked by.

[justmy2cents]

5 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Please don't sing that song...that's my first name and I hate my name and I hate that song...it seems that people feel free to sing that to me when they find out my name. I can't tell you how many people I've wanted to strangle for that. 

I have to admit I sometimes sing ‘My Michelle ‘ to my niece Michelle until she gives me the stink eye. 

[raspberrymint]

Old Town Road is the biggest song of the summer.  It would be in a Shrek movie if DreamWorks were still making Shrek movies.  That's why kids love it.  

Regarding reading, thoughts on reading to your fetus?  I'm six weeks.

[VelociRapture]

34 minutes ago, raspberrymint said:

Old Town Road is the biggest song of the summer.  It would be in a Shrek movie if DreamWorks were still making Shrek movies.  That's why kids love it.  

Regarding reading, thoughts on reading to your fetus?  I'm six weeks.

Well, first, congratulations on your great news!!!  

Fetuses can’t really hear anything until sometime in the second trimester, but I think it’s a fantastic idea to start reading out loud to your little buddy anyways. Eventually they start hearing your voice in the womb and I think it’s a great habit to make a part of your normal routine now.