M is for Mama 4: S is for Shaving Shiloh

[Shiny]

Ezra was confused because someone said it was hard work? What would be confusing about that? Abbie doesn't understand that sometimes work is hard or difficult, even if you love it? She is so weird. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

6 minutes ago, Shiny said:

Ezra was confused because someone said it was hard work? What would be confusing about that? Abbie doesn't understand that sometimes work is hard or difficult, even if you love it? She is so weird. 

Braggie’s go to saying is “hard is not the same as bad.”

I can’t understand how she has such a following. She’s insufferable. 

[Snarkasarus Rex]

That whole blog post is about answering her critics (Hi Braggie!!).  Since Ezra obviously loves being #thirdparent, she obviously isn’t dumping anything on him that he doesn’t want, right?  So that makes her the perfect mom!  She’s ‘trained’ him right, not shirking her responsibilities y’all!  The proof is Ezra’s ‘willingness’ to do it!

Of course Ezra doesn’t complain...he doesn’t want to deal with her temper!  Ten bucks says she gives him a healthy dose of guilt trip along with the ‘praise’. He’s just trying to get by until he’s an adult and can leave home.  It’s a survival strategy.

[ophelia]

9 hours ago, Snarkasarus Rex said:

Of course Ezra doesn’t complain...he doesn’t want to deal with her temper!  Ten bucks says she gives him a healthy dose of guilt trip along with the ‘praise’. He’s just trying to get by until he’s an adult and can leave home.  It’s a survival strategy.

I hope Ezra gets therapy or whatever kind of help and support he might need once he leaves home. I'm pretty sure Braggie (and Shaun by enabling her as well) messed up that kid A LOT.

[SassyPants]

I’m 6, 1/2 dozen on her traveling alone with all those kids. My SIL had 3 boys in 38 months time and she never stayed at home ( brother is a FF who would be gone for 48 hours at a time ). It.was.crazy. I guess moms with many kids say that it’s easier to be out and about than home where the kids mess up destroy the house and fight ad nauseam. Also, why don’t they have a pool? At least 6 of those kids should be able to swim or at least understand and have basic water safety, by now...they have the space, like to build, seemingly have money and live in hot as hades TX. Seems like a no-brainer. Their house seems to be the place where childhood and joy go to die.

[JermajestyDuggar]

4 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I’m 6, 1/2 dozen on her traveling alone with all those kids. My SIL had 3 boys in 38 months time and she never stayed at home ( brother is a FF who would be gone for 48 hours at a time ). It.was.crazy. I guess moms with many kids say that it’s easier to be out and about than home where the kids mess up destroy the house and fight ad nauseam. Also, why don’t they have a pool? At least 6 of those kids should be able to swim or at least understand and have basic water safety, by now...they have the space, like to build, seemingly have money and live in hot as hades TX. Seems like a no-brainer. Their house seems to be the place where childhood and joy go to die.

When my kids were really little, it was way easier to just stay home all the time. Car seats, changing diapers, nursing in public, strollers, baby carriers, snacks, melt downs all made me not want to take them out in public for years. Now that they are older I do take them out more. They fight so much when we are home and then act like BFFs when we are out of the house! But Braggie has a wide age range so I would likely never want to travel with the littlest ones but would be fine with the bigger ones.

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

When my kids were really little, it was way easier to just stay home all the time. Car seats, changing diapers, nursing in public, strollers, baby carriers, snacks, melt downs all made me not want to take them out in public for years. Now that they are older I do take them out more. They fight so much when we are home and then act like BFFs when we are out of the house! But Braggie has a wide age range so I would likely never want to travel with the littlest ones but would be fine with the bigger ones.

I agree about home being easier, and having all your own items easily at hand. Now with Abbie, it could be an attention seeking desire. She seems to be mention quite often how people respond to and interact with her when she’s out with all her kids. I think my SIL liked having extra adult help. Personally, I always wished that she would just stay home...it was like a 3 ring circus.

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I agree about home being easier, and having all your own items easily at hand. Now with Abbie, it could be an attention seeking desire. She seems to be mention quite often how people respond to and interact with her when she’s out with all her kids. I think my SIL liked having extra adult help. Personally, I always wished that she would just stay home...it was like a 3 ring circus.

That’s why I understand when the married Duggar or Bates children end up at their parents’ home all the time. They will always find an extra set of hands to help with their kids. Even if the house is chaos.

Edited June 20, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

8 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Their house seems to be the place where childhood and joy go to die.

Not just goes to dies, but was never there to begin with. 

[BachelorToTheRapture]

Poor Ezra. Even if he manages to get out, he likely wont want/be able to cut ties for many years because of his relationships with his siblings. I know that's a huge part of why I never cut ties with my mom, I still have siblings living at home who I love (and basically parented for years). Even when the youngest turns 18, my feeling of obligation isn't going to end. They may move in with me for a while to be in a healthy, supportive environment in a way my parents dont provide to help gain the skills to live independently or with roommates. He has a bigger age gap to the youngest now than I do, with likely more coming. If his relationship with his siblings are anything like Abbie shows them to be, his future will be tough, constantly needing to find a balance between self care and caring for his siblings still at home. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

DadEzra is 13. Braggie is likely to have 2-3 more children over the next 4-6 years.  In 6 years, when the last is born, DadE will be 19.  With a "family" of 9-10 children.

If he's still parenting/caring for his siblings well in to his 20s or early 30s, when does he get to have his own family? Assuming he wants one.    

Every person I know who was parent to their many younger siblings chose to be childless. Everyone of them said they had already raised a family and didn't want to do it again.

[SuperNova]

15 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Every person I know who was parent to their many younger siblings chose to be childless. Everyone of them said they had already raised a family and didn't want to do it again.

I know it's anecdotal but that's been my experience as well. I have a few family members and friends who were sister moms or brother dads and every single one of them has chosen to stay childless.

One person in particular stands out in my mind. She became the culinary manager of a large facility because marshalling others is practically innate. Her mom had a whoopsie baby in her late 40's (friend was already in her 20's). My friend just turned 35 and she's still helping her mom raise the last child. There's no resentment but also no desire for children of her own.

[Giraffe]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

I know it's anecdotal but that's been my experience as well. I have a few family members and friends who were sister moms or brother dads and every single one of them has chosen to stay childless.

One person in particular stands out in my mind. She became the culinary manager of a large facility because marshalling others is practically innate. Her mom had a whoopsie baby in her late 40's (friend was already in her 20's). My friend just turned 35 and she's still helping her mom raise the last child. There's no resentment but also no desire for children of her own.

(OT, I know) This is why I believe  Jana’s singleness is chosen rather than a mournful pity party. 

[danvillebelle]

9 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Every person I know who was parent to their many younger siblings chose to be childless. Everyone of them said they had already raised a family and didn't want to do it again.

I have mentioned elsewhere on FJ my genealogy discovery that solved my wondering why one great-grandmother was an only child...her father had 13 siblings.  Bingo.

[SassyPants]

My husband’s mom had 7 kids in 10 years, and started very late in life. She had her first 5 in 4 years,  with only 1 girl in the mix. My SIL had no kids ( married a man who had already raised a family), and would often comment that she had already raised her family ( her sibs). Although I told my husband, kid #5, that she couldn’t have done much for you, as she was only 3 when you were born. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My stepparent had 6 siblings and was one of the younger ones. So she didn’t have to raise her siblings. However she did have to deal with all the consequences of living in a very poor family with 6 siblings. Their lives were made much worse because there was never enough to go around. This stuck with my stepparent and made her want only one child. I’m actually shocked she was able to talk a doctor into tying her tubes in her 20s with only one child. Sometimes doctors will not do it. Which i find incredibly troublesome. 

[SassyPants]

Tonight on IG she is waxing on about how easy being a mama is when you only have 3 littles...her ILs are watching the oldest 5. She needs to STHU until she actually cares for her all her own kids for an extended period of time. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

11 hours ago, SassyPants said:

ILs are  Ezra is watching the other oldest 45.

Fixed that for you. Even though he's probably doing it at the ILs, he's still the parent.  And it's just so amazeballs how he steps right it and handles the other 4 without the adults having to do or say or ask anything.

Geez louise Braggie if it's so easy when you only have 3, why didn't you stop at 3?

[SuperNova]

17 hours ago, SassyPants said:

Tonight on IG she is waxing on about how easy being a mama is when you only have 3 littles

Well that was short lived. Less than 24 hours later, Abbie is complaining about the kids losing their minds after church. I'm guessing that they're bored and need some stimulation. What does Abbie do? What she always does, goes to play in her closet.

It's not surprising that the kids don't function as well without #thirdparent. The saddest part for me is that the brand new shiny is already worn off of Shiloh and Abbie is looking for ways to get away from him. By the way, where the hell is Shaun? 

Quote

No #mifmsundays pic this week bc the older 5 are at my nice in-laws, and Theo, Honor, and Shiloh were LOSING THEIR MINDS (what was I saying again in my stories about how it's easier with just three now?! ?) when we got home from church. 
I did want to take a moment to commemorate two suuuper important things right quick, though:

1. After owning Marie Kondo's book for over two years and never reading it or watching her show, I randomly looked up a video on how she folds shirts and immediately redid my shirt drawer. #gamechanger Lest you think me super proactive and on top of it, I feel I need to tell you that the same basket of folded laundry has sat on my bathroom floor for 4 days.

 

Edited June 23, 2019 by SuperNova

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Well that was short lived. Less than 24 hours later, Abbie is complaining about the kids losing their minds after church. I'm guessing that they're bored and need some stimulation. What does Abbie do? What she always does, goes to play in her closet.

It's not surprising that the kids don't function as well without #thirdparent. The saddest part for me is that the brand new shiny is already worn off of Shiloh and Abbie is looking for ways to get away from him. By the way, where the hell is Shaun? 

 

I knew she would eventually complain about having the youngest three all on her own. A baby, a two year old, and a 4 year old are hard when you don’t have the oldest ones to take care of them for you 

[SuperNova]

30 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I knew she would eventually complain about having the youngest three all on her own. A baby, a two year old, and a 4 year old are hard when you don’t have the oldest ones to take care of them for you 

Do we know how long the big kids are staying at their "nice in-laws"? I don't have an Insta account so I can't see stories.

Edited June 23, 2019 by SuperNova

[Ozlsn]

11 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I knew she would eventually complain about having the youngest three all on her own. A baby, a two year old, and a 4 year old are hard when you don’t have the oldest ones to take care of them for you 

Even just having older kids who could play with them and distract them would be useful. I am possibly choosing to assume the younger two were having a nap when she refolded her laundry and put it away (and seriously if it was already folded who has the time to refold?? Shove it in the cupboard and move on to the next laundry load) but what was the four year old doing? 

Also laundry folding is "suuuuuper important", for real? 

11 hours ago, SuperNova said:

By the way, where the hell is Shaun? 

At the in laws too? Down the pub? With the four year old but refusing to be on camera?

17 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Geez louise Braggie if it's so easy when you only have 3, why didn't you stop at 3?

Even 4 or 5 would be easier. I seriously don't get it. 

Edited June 24, 2019 by Ozlsn

[SassyPants]

Why do people whose life mission it seems is to have mega numbers of kids always want to drone on about the things people say to them  in public?  My niece has 3 in 4 years time and yesterday she posted on IG about all the comments she received in the grocery store.  Not that I think people should be making comments, but you’d think when you call pregnancy after pregnancy “just doing our thing”, you’d think you would develop some basic coping strategies and stop listening to the unremarkable comments.

[danvillebelle]

11 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Why do people whose life mission it seems is to have mega numbers of kids always want to drone on about the things people say to them  in public?  My niece has 3 in 4 years time and yesterday she posted on IG about all the comments she received in the grocery store.  Not that I think people should be making comments, but you’d think when you call pregnancy after pregnancy “just doing our thing”, you’d think you would develop some basic coping strategies and stop listening to the unremarkable comments.

I'll be blunt...I think a lot of times the people doing the complaining are just outright lying about getting comments.  They want the attention and like playing the martyr card (see: Braggie).  Same with the ones who supposedly get lots of negative comments about being stay at home moms. 

I had 4 kids in 6 years and was out with all 4 of them quite a bit at places like the zoo, museums, the mall, etc.  I honestly can't remember any specific incidents, and I can't remember anything negative.  Part of that could be the passage of time and menopause brain but...it just didn't happen that often.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Strangers make comments about everything. That’s life. But if you get a crazy fierce resting bitch face on in public, you get a lot less. I have nasty RBF when pregnant so I only got a few comments from the bravest strangers. I got a few comments when I was pregnant, then I got lots of comments when I had a newborn and infant, I got comments with a toddler if he was dressed in a cute outfit. I only have two kids but you still get comments from strangers. I don’t take offense. I also don’t make a big deal out of it either. Zoo is even worse then Braggie because she has vanity license plates announcing how many kids she has and then gets pissy when people comment on her family size!