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M is for Mama 4: S is for Shaving Shiloh


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11 hours ago, luv2laugh said:

Appearances aren’t always what they seem. Some save up $5k and use it to pay bills, go on a vacation, home improvement, tutoring, or invest it. Shaun Halberstadt doesn’t make a ton of money from GenesisWorld as a software developer. I think he’s trying earn more money from his side business  via Capital H Creative LLC  http://www.capitalhcreative.com/ and potentially make it a full time gig. Braggie also mentioned that they own properties rent them out. He's trying to create multiple streams of income via the side gig and by venturing into real estate. Anyway, it’s all relative. In all, Shaun makes a middle class income (I doubt it exceeds $250k) but by living in rural (Bullard?) TX, the income can go farther than living near a metro area. Anyway, it’s all relative. Additionally, unlike the majority of parents, Shaun & Braggie do not spend any money on their children. The kids aren't in sports or music lessons. They aren't in private schools. They don't take their kids on vacations, they don't buy them toys, games, nor any high tech devices. Braggie always buys used clothing for her kids. There is nothing wrong with thrifting (I love it) but it's interesting how she consistently buys very used clothing for her kids and nicer clothing for herself. Besides paying bills and other household expenses, I'd guess that the bulk of the expenses goes towards funding Braggie's home decor and secondhand Anthropologie clothing, as she loves to spend money on herself.

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The image is from Corporation Wiki. I am not sure what Metalstream Technologies LLC is.
https://www.corporationwiki.com/Texas/Jacksonville/shaun-t-halberstadt/39110576.aspx

People will be surprised to hear this but the engineers, including software developers, don’t make bank for a business. The sales team does (or trading team, if its a fund). I know this because my husband studied engineering and now works in trading. Also, a friend at GE was an engineer back in the day and requested a transition to sales because given that they were generating the company's revenue, they were earning more. Additionally, if Shaun wanted to keep his skills "sharp", which is important in the technology industry, he wouldn't be working for a company like GenesisWorld. He should be trying to work for a company that implements cutting edge technology, such as the software engineering companies in San Francisco, (or even Austin, Dallas, or Houston) or the high frequency trading funds. Does he make a comfortable living? Yes, especially in deep east Texas. Does he "make bank"? No, he'd have to be an equity partner in Big Law, at an investment bank, consulting firm, CEO, or profitable business owner etc. to do that.

Personally, I don't think Shaun is a fan of having a ton of kids. Braggie Abbie gives off "crazy train" vibes and she's the captain of the ship. I think Braggie Abbie is surrounded by enablers and people that do what she says to "keep the peace". Abbie has admitted that Shaun is more of a nurturer and more gentle with the children than she is. I think that Shaun feels bad that the children have to deal with Abbie.

Eh, I think your definition of "making a ton of money" is just very different from most people's. It's not like the rest of us think Shaun is some Warren Buffet type. But to me, and I bet to most other posters, someone who makes $250k/year in an extremely low cost-of-living area is most definitely "making bank."

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1 hour ago, JillyO said:

But to me, and I bet to most other posters, someone who makes $250k/year in an extremely low cost-of-living area is most definitely "making bank."

Anything over 100K/year in East Texas is SERIOUS BANK.  The median income for her county is less than 50K and 13% of the population lives below the poverty line.

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2 hours ago, JillyO said:

Eh, I think your definition of "making a ton of money" is just very different from most people's. It's not like the rest of us think Shaun is some Warren Buffet type. But to me, and I bet to most other posters, someone who makes $250k/year in an extremely low cost-of-living area is most definitely "making bank."

I didn’t say he made $250k. I said I doubt he makes that or even close to it. Making bank is technically making over 250k which puts you in the top 1%.

Also, you cannot be a Warren Buffet type to be working in big law or banking. Warren Buffet is a billionaire.

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22 minutes ago, luv2laugh said:

Making bank is technically making over 250k which puts you in the top 1%.

"Making bank" is just a slang phrase meaning "making a lot of money," so I don't understand why you think there is a technical definition of it.

And yeah, even in my snooty, high COL area, making more than $175k means you are well off. $250k per year is definitely considered rich/making bank.

And JillyO's original point was that we *don't* think this dude is like Warren Buffet, so I don't know why you double down on pointing out that he doesn't make as much as Buffet.

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1 hour ago, nausicaa said:

"Making bank" is just a slang phrase meaning "making a lot of money," so I don't understand why you think there is a technical definition of it.

 And yeah, even in my snooty, high COL area, making more than $175k means you are well off. $250k per year is definitely considered rich/making bank.

 And JillyO's original point was that we *don't* think this dude is like Warren Buffet, so I don't know why you double down on pointing out that he doesn't make as much as Buffet.

No, I'm doubling down that he does not make as much as a big law partner or investment banker (who both do not make as much as Warren Buffet, obviously). Shaun likely makes just around $100k given that GenesisWorld advertised hiring a software developer for $75k. You can live like a king in deep, rural east texas earning $75k-100k but if Shaun was in a metro area, he would have more trouble. Shaun is living a cush life with his income from GenesisWorld, side business, and rental properties in (Bullard?) Texas but if you plop him in San Francisco, Dallas, Houston, Chicago, Detroit, Charlotte, NY, etc (you get my point), he would likely have trouble making ends meet on his income and 8+ kids. Wealth is completely relative. IMO, Shaun is not a "rich guy" although Braggie Abbie loves to have her followers believe they are a wealthy family. As a disclaimer, I also live in a snooty, high COL area.

This article from CNBC is interesting:
" To be among the top 1 percent of U.S. earners, a family needs an income of $421,926, a new report from the Economic Policy Institute finds.

However, the threshold varies significantly among states. In Connecticut, for example, you need an annual income of $700,800 to be in the 1 percent. In New Mexico, you need $255,429.

Keep in mind that these numbers just represent the threshold — the average income of the top 1 percent nationwide is $1.32 million. The bottom 99 percent, on the other hand, earn an average of $50,107 a year.

Read on to see just how much your household would have to pull in to join the 1 percent club in every U.S. state.
 

Texas

Annual income required to be in the top 1 percent: $440,758

Average annual income of the top 1 percent: $1.34 million"

https://www.cnbc.com/2018/07/27/how-much-you-have-to-earn-to-be-in-the-top-1percent-in-every-us-state.html

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On 6/30/2019 at 11:21 PM, bea said:

Gonna be super super shallow for a second, look away.
Oh my God, Abbie, your HAIR, WTF
*ahem*
As you were.
I’m going to go look at the Flanders website....

Okay the Flanders lady is CRAZY.
Seriously, door hangers so your kids know when you’re having sex with your husband because God.
What.
https://lovinglifeathome.com/2019/06/24/parents-stop-being-so-sneaky/

This is so unnecessary. I’m so tired of fundies bragging about how much sex they have. Even their poor children. All you need is a “do not disturb” sign for the door. Which you could explain to your kids that it just means you want to be left alone for a little while. It doesn’t automatically mean sex. But that door hanger is announcing you are having sex to your children. Why would you want to announce that? Your kids will know your sex schedule. They will know when you are having less sex than usual. Who wants their children to know that? Oh yes, the same type of person who has to post about this ridiculous door hanger on their public blog. This is so eye rolling that my eyes now hurt. Thanks. 

82CC478A-95F8-45ED-B7D7-C1C2288CA9CA.jpeg

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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Seriously, what the hell is wrong with Abbie? Siblings helping eachother out is one thing but purposely training your children to do your job is another.

Calling your children "selfish little sinners just like their mamas" is an awful thing to say. Speak for yourself Abbie, you selfish bitch. I raised a child and delighted in the sacrifice of parenthood. Children are self centered by nature and the best way to teach them selflessness is through example, by being a kind, patient, and giving mother. Sometimes that means doing things you don't want to do, like not passing off your responsibilities to your children who are just trying to find a way to earn your love. Love them for who they are as little people and not for what they can do for you!!

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Personally I'd be equally as skeeved at her referring to her young daughters as 'mammas' (and presumably to her sons as 'daddies'?) whether she had 2 kids or 5 kids or 8 kids or 14 kids. Unless her kids were actively engaged in imaginative play about being parents - otherwise it just comes off as creepy to me. 

And frankly I fail to see how Abbie would have time to e.g. refold her towels (ffs) into a more pleasung configuration without some level of child-parenting-child going on.

(Also FWIW my grandmother was #13 of 14. Her 6 yo sister kept an eye on her after the youngest arrived and my great-grandmother was busy - but the older siblings also went to school and were certainly not parenting. It's one thing to say "watch your sister and don't let her near the dam or the stove or anything else that is dangerous while I feed the baby", and another to expect them to be doing it most days for long periods of time.)

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@Ozlsn, I completely agree, but feel compelled to throw in this about her use of the term “little mommas”:  “Momma/mama” or the Spanish “mami” is often used in parts of the US as a term of endearment for girls and women of all ages. In the show “This is Us,” Beth occasionally addresses her young daughters as “little mommas,” as in, “Time to leave for school, little mommas.”  I think it originated as a Southern thing. A friend from Mexico calls his little girl “mami” all the time.

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On 7/1/2019 at 9:09 AM, JillyO said:

Eh, I think your definition of "making a ton of money" is just very different from most people's. It's not like the rest of us think Shaun is some Warren Buffet type. But to me, and I bet to most other posters, someone who makes $250k/year in an extremely low cost-of-living area is most definitely "making bank."

 

13 hours ago, Ozlsn said:

Personally I'd be equally as skeeved at her referring to her young daughters as 'mammas' (and presumably to her sons as 'daddies'?) whether she had 2 kids or 5 kids or 8 kids or 14 kids.  

Agreed. She's annoyed at missing out on something that's not really a thing, lol. And also fails to understand that lots of kids love their siblings and are willing to help their families, even without extensive suppression of their sin nature ?

13 hours ago, Hane said:

@Ozlsn, I completely agree, but feel compelled to throw in this about her use of the term “little mommas”:  “Momma/mama” or the Spanish “mami” is often used in parts of the US as a term of endearment for girls and women of all ages. In the show “This is Us,” Beth occasionally addresses her young daughters as “little mommas,” as in, “Time to leave for school, little mommas.”  I think it originated as a Southern thing. A friend from Mexico calls his little girl “mami” all the time.

Sure, but that's a completely different usage and obviously not what Abbie means. 

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You TRAIN an animal, you TEACH children. That whole "child TRAINING" thing drives me straight up the wall. 

But, I'm the kind of mama who's happy the kids are housebroken, reasonably independent and pay their own damn car insurance!!!

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Thin skinned Abbie saw a picture on Insta of a woman in a bikini who apparently looked great. Like Abbie, this woman has a bunch of kids. It sent Abbie into a "tailspin" of self deprecation and loathing so she made a lengthy post about how great she is to build herself back up. The first paragraph is really sad and reads like someone who suffers from body dysmorphia. She says that she had these feelings "years ago" but if a picture on social media can send her into a shame spiral, I'm guessing she still has the same mentality.

Spoiler

Years ago, I would stand in front of the mirror and hurl invectives at myself. "You look disgusting." "Look at your huge thighs." I'd continue until self-revulsion clenched my throat, and I stormed away from my reflection lest I become paralyzed by the sight of my "hideous" form.

And no amount of reassurances from friends, family, or Shaun could convince me otherwise in that moment. 
The truth? I was healthy. I looked fine. 
That's the thing about lies, though, right? They blind our eyes to the truth: that being created in God's image has nothing to do with thigh gaps (which many of us, myself included, are genetically incapable of having) and ripped abs. 
The most "hideous" thing about me was not my love handles but my ingratitude for the incredible grace of limbs that can run and jump and scoop up my babies and a husband who finds me beautiful no matter what. 
I know I'm supposed to wrap this up by telling you how *proud* I now am of my incredible body that has carried and given birth to 8 healthy children and how I defy all earthly beauty standards. 
But what I really am is grateful. Grateful that the Lord has, bit by bit, peeled away my *prideful* defiance of him at not being given the body I wanted. Because, yes, so many of our body issues come from unrealistic representations in the media and *cough* Instagram, but at least as many stem from the belief that we got gypped. And that what we have to offer is limited or defined by this earthly shell we've been given. 
There is no greater debunking of that falsehood than Jesus, who "had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him." Isaiah 53:2

I'm still a work in progress, guys, but the Lord has delivered me from so much wrong thinking in this area, and I am so thankful for his patience with me. 
P.S. Felt prompted to share bc the sight of another mom-of-many looking fab in a swimsuit on Instagram threatened to send my brain into a tailspin if I didn't preach some truth to myself quick. Because that mess has zilch to do with her. It's ALL on me (and Jesus, thankfully). If it helps even one of you, it's worth it. 

 

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33 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

Thin skinned Abbie saw a picture on Insta of a woman in a bikini who apparently looked great. Like Abbie, this woman has a bunch of kids. It sent Abbie into a "tailspin" of self deprecation and loathing so she made a lengthy post about how great she is to build herself back up. The first paragraph is really sad and reads like someone who suffers from body dysmorphia. She says that she had these feelings "years ago" but if a picture on social media can send her into a shame spiral, I'm guessing she still has the same mentality.

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Years ago, I would stand in front of the mirror and hurl invectives at myself. "You look disgusting." "Look at your huge thighs." I'd continue until self-revulsion clenched my throat, and I stormed away from my reflection lest I become paralyzed by the sight of my "hideous" form.

And no amount of reassurances from friends, family, or Shaun could convince me otherwise in that moment. 
The truth? I was healthy. I looked fine. 
That's the thing about lies, though, right? They blind our eyes to the truth: that being created in God's image has nothing to do with thigh gaps (which many of us, myself included, are genetically incapable of having) and ripped abs. 
The most "hideous" thing about me was not my love handles but my ingratitude for the incredible grace of limbs that can run and jump and scoop up my babies and a husband who finds me beautiful no matter what. 
I know I'm supposed to wrap this up by telling you how *proud* I now am of my incredible body that has carried and given birth to 8 healthy children and how I defy all earthly beauty standards. 
But what I really am is grateful. Grateful that the Lord has, bit by bit, peeled away my *prideful* defiance of him at not being given the body I wanted. Because, yes, so many of our body issues come from unrealistic representations in the media and *cough* Instagram, but at least as many stem from the belief that we got gypped. And that what we have to offer is limited or defined by this earthly shell we've been given. 
There is no greater debunking of that falsehood than Jesus, who "had no form or majesty that we should look at him, and no beauty that we should desire him." Isaiah 53:2

I'm still a work in progress, guys, but the Lord has delivered me from so much wrong thinking in this area, and I am so thankful for his patience with me. 
P.S. Felt prompted to share bc the sight of another mom-of-many looking fab in a swimsuit on Instagram threatened to send my brain into a tailspin if I didn't preach some truth to myself quick. Because that mess has zilch to do with her. It's ALL on me (and Jesus, thankfully). If it helps even one of you, it's worth it. 

 

She sounds like a lot of teen girls. Teen girls who went to evil public school. I remember looking in the mirror and feeling like that as a teen and my friends often said the same things about their bodies. Unfortunately it was normal to put down your own body. I imagine it’s similar these days but I haven’t been a teen girl in a long time. Nowadays those same friends of mine are much more accepting of their bodies. Maybe it’s maturity. I’m not sure. But I am similar in age to Braggie and I wonder when she started accepting her body. Was it more recent? My guess is yes.

ETA: I am mostly talking about my friends devoloping a better body image over time. I still have body issues but that’s due to years long bullying over my weight so I know my body image is still skewed to this day. Even though it’s so much better now thanks to good old therapy! 

Edited by JermajestyDuggar
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2 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

I wonder when she started accepting her body. Was it more recent? My guess is yes.

I don't think she has yet.  That lengthy screed has whistling past the graveyard -- an attempt to convince herself.  If she was really fine with her body, she wouldn't admit to obsessive exercising post each baby to get back in shape.

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22 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I don't think she has yet.  That lengthy screed has whistling past the graveyard -- an attempt to convince herself.  If she was really fine with her body, she wouldn't admit to obsessive exercising post each baby to get back in shape.

Agreed, it feels like fresh emotion. She makes sure to share that her lack of a thigh gap is due to genetics lest she is judged her like she judges other women. I find the obsession with thigh gaps to be a bizarre thing to focus on. Personally, my lack of thigh gap is due to my love of pizza and cinnamon rolls but whatever. The only time I think about the size of my thighs is when my chub rub wears out a pair of jeans too fast. 

Edited by SuperNova
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So, parents, are your ready to stop being sneaky? One of the best things you can do for your children is to let them know how much you love them and love one another… then lock them out of the bedroom to prove it.

Well I mean, if your kids can't tell they live in a loving family without a door hanger then by all means get a door hanger.

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  • 2 weeks later...

I can’t stop laughing! Kristen Wiig’s Penelope character from SNL is what Braggie Abbie is like. She looks like her too.

 

Edited by luv2laugh
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Short of a tunnel boring machine I will never have a "thigh gap", I was built with some seriously muscular thighs and I happen to be rather proud of them. They show how strong my body is even under the extra weight. The stretch marks, saggy tits, and tummy flub show that I've brought 3 incredible kids into the world. The grey hair shows I've aged and managed to gather a bit of wisdom (amount debateable). The lines on my face show I"ve laughed and cried and smiled. 

I ain't the greatest looking thing, but I have a body that shows that I've LIVED and laughed and LOVED. If other folks don't like looking, tough shit. 

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11 hours ago, feministxtian said:

Short of a tunnel boring machine I will never have a "thigh gap", I was built with some seriously muscular thighs and I happen to be rather proud of them. They show how strong my body is even under the extra weight. The stretch marks, saggy tits, and tummy flub show that I've brought 3 incredible kids into the world. The grey hair shows I've aged and managed to gather a bit of wisdom (amount debateable). The lines on my face show I"ve laughed and cried and smiled. 

I ain't the greatest looking thing, but I have a body that shows that I've LIVED and laughed and LOVED. If other folks don't like looking, tough shit. 

You sound like an amazing person! I hope someday I can be as confident in my body as you are!

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I caught up with Abbie today and I'm here to report that her Insta still has the same insufferable narcissistic flavor. The latest posts are the usual humble brags about her, her home, the new built-ins, her laundry room, blah blah blah. Apparently she moved Honor into Theo's room where I assume he's been sleeping alone? If the other kids have a shared room, why is this little guy by himself? Abbie answers that. Theo gets lost in the shuffle. And here I thought that Honor was the neglected one.

"Theo and I spent several hours in here this afternoon, which was actually really good bc, while he plays with everyone and still stops by for the occasional cuddle, he can sometimes be the one that most gets lost in the shuffle of one-on-one time with me. We had a grand ol' time dragging furniture around, wriggling around on our bellies pulling toys out from under the bed, and--my favorite--throwing things away. ?

I know (oh man, do I!) how much easier it is to clean without kids underfoot. But, in the process of making our own lives easier, we sometimes deprive them of opportunities to both learn skills and bond with us.
Cleaning with kids is hard. But #hardisnotthesamethingasbad. Especially when it means a full love tank for a certain vocal 4-year-old I know."

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Yes, she posted about the girls’ room built ins. She painted them pink. I don’t think that was a wise decision since they might get tired of pink over the years and those built ins can’t be easy to paint. I probably would have gone with white. 

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But it HAS to be pink because, you know, girls.

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In a family that does not control family size, I don’t understand the decision of built ins. Unless there is a way to keep adding more rooms or built ins...or will they just move again?

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I wonder if she follows the Duggars?  This sounds a lot like Jessa’s post about Spurg. At least be original, Braggie.

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