The Staddons: Doing Things a Little Bit Differently

[JermajestyDuggar]

15 minutes ago, Sops2 said:

The Parfitt family journal is amazing rabbit hole to fall into-  highly recommended reading

James and Jonathan Staddon seem to visit the family and cause huge excitement and massive cleaning of the house before they arrive.The family seem to stay up late, play games, James shows them photoshop tricks and flies his drone to take pictures.

I think James may be the next Staddon sibling to find a suitable fundie maiden- probably Naomi

It looks like the Parfitt girls are all still teens. Naomi is only around 17. The oldest Parfitt sister is around 19. They seem much too young to be with James since he’s about 30. But age differences happen in Fundie Land so who knows.

[petrushka]

1 minute ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It looks like the Parfitt girls are all still teens. Naomi is only around 17. The oldest Parfitt sister is around 19. They seem much too young to be with James since he’s about 30. But age differences happen in Fundie Land so who knows.

I could see the oldest Parfitt daughter with a Frazer son, though.  I wonder if they've ever met?

[JermajestyDuggar]

5 minutes ago, petrushka said:

I could see the oldest Parfitt daughter with a Frazer son, though.  I wonder if they've ever met?

They have:

[Sops2]

I didn 't realise Naomi was so young and agree James is a bit too old for her! What about Jonathan, how old is he? 

There must be some reason Mrs Parfitt burst into her daughters' room with the exciting news that the brothers were visiting that day and staying  the night. Shades of Mrs Bennett?!!!

[petrushka]

Sorry JermajestyDuggar I don't see any Frazers in your photo.  Am thinking more about the guys in the top row of this Frazer family picture.

 

 

Edited January 23, 2019 by petrushka
incomplete sentence

[Howl]

20 hours ago, Briefly said:

Maybe she follows the Michelle Duggar (and other's) school of little girl voice because after all, she's just a girl and not a big Man!  I have not listened so she may just have a squeaky voice, but I read somewhere (probably on FJ) that many of the fundie women cultivate a little girl voice to sound innocent and in need of protection.

Yes, to emphasize their status as a human zero and to project themselves as  submissive™, meek and nonthreatening as possible, these women have effected bizarre/childish speech patterns, often incorporating breathiness.  I've seen it in a few videos of people not followed on FJ.  One in particular was about homeschooling.  The  mom  homeschooled her family of six or seven kids, many of whom were older teens; all the kids seemed pretty sharp. 

On the video, the patriarchal dad was confident, at ease and articulate; the mom could hardly string a simple sentence together and had halting speech, along with the characteristics noted above.  I don't think she was stupid.  I think she was an intelligent woman infected with patriarchy and robbed of human agency,  possibly knowing that if she made even one little misstep on that video, she's suffer some form of patriarchal discipline abuse. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Since the Bates and to some extent the Duggars dress more stylishly, I forget that yes some fundies are still plain-dressers even though Sounds Like Reign is head covering and plain dressing. Do the Staddon family and their friends have any denominational affiliations? 

[JermajestyDuggar]

16 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Sorry JermajestyDuggar I don't see any Frazers in your photo.  Am thinking more about the guys in the top row of this Frazer family picture.

 

 

I’m sorry! I thought we were still talking about the Parfitts! There is one single adult Frazer daughter left. Possibly for James. She’s the one in the back on the far right. The two boys in the back row (not the tall in the middle) are adults and single. They could be a match for a Parfitt but the Frazers live in Quebec. So I don’t know if they’ve met.

I should take a look at the FEW conference in Quebec from last year. Maybe there’s a Parfitt spotting in there somewhere.

Edited January 23, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Palimpsest]

47 minutes ago, petrushka said:

Lord help me, I'm falling down the Parfitt rabbit hole!  This is just too weird for words, but what is it with belonging to a Baptist church with the eldest single daughter clearly dressing Mennonite? 

After reading Sean-Allen's 3 posts in HSA, I was impressed with his ability to evaluate his homeschooling fairly objectively;  he gives Ma Parfitt credit for making sure he was academically on par in certain subjects, enough so that he was able to transition to college level courses.  However, unsurprisingly, it appears they were not well schooled in literature and history; he notes his struggle to understand cultural references.  I hope he is doing well on his own; he clearly has been shunned by his own mother. Painful as that might be, I'm glad he is free to be himself.

 It caught my attention that the Parfitts used the Rod and Staff Curriculum which is heavily religious.  I believe that is the same curriculum used by Christopher and Anna-Marie Maxwell, ugh.

I think the identify as some sort of Anabaptist.  There are many Anabaptist groups.  It is just that the Mennonites and Amish are probably the most numerous in the US so we tend to think of them first.

And I looked up Sean-Allen's old blog, he is an excellent writer, and found his FB.  I think Seanny is absolutely adorable, free from Fundamentalism, and having a good life today even if his family is still shunning him.  He has a partner, is working as a children's activity director at the YWCA, and having fun occasionally performing as a drag queen.

28 minutes ago, Sops2 said:

I didn 't realise Naomi was so young and agree James is a bit too old for her! What about Jonathan, how old is he? 

There must be some reason Mrs Parfitt burst into her daughters' room with the exciting news that the brothers were visiting that day and staying  the night. Shades of Mrs Bennett?!!!

I'm pretty sure Annabelle is only 19 or 20.   

Sorry, strike that, I think Annabelle is the oldest daughter but that may be Naomi - who is only 17.  Fundies are blending together in my brain.

If we must matchmake, James Staddon is 30.  Jonathan 26, and David 22.   I vote for David for Annabelle or Naomi and hope they both grow up a bit more before they marry. 

I also think James Staddon was the best friend Sean mentions who is also now shunning him.  

Edited January 23, 2019 by Palimpsest
brain farts.

[JermajestyDuggar]

So I went looking and I don’t see any evidence that the Parfitts have attended any recent FEW conferences. So it’s possible the Parfitts and Frazers haven’t met. Too bad. It would be a headcovering and frumper extravaganza! 

Edited January 23, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[Sops2]

Annabelle says she was 2 1/2  when Naomi was born, 17 years ago, in a blog entry from just last year. So yes, they are a bit on the young side.

Shame if James is the friend who is shunning Sean, but to be expected I suppose.

[JermajestyDuggar]

I thought this post from Sean Allen Parfitt was pretty good. It’s from his blog. He talks about how misogyny in fundamentalism affects even him as a gay man. 

https://ofpenandheart.wordpress.com/2013/08/26/the-reason-i-despise-fundamental-christianity-as-revealed-to-me-in-a-dream/

[quiversR4hunting]

So the Parfitt's are from upstate NY. Could they know the Rods? Parfit's attend Old Paths Bible Baptist Church  I think that would fundie enough and the correct amount of modest style to have Jilly's approval. And they are authorize 1611 KJ Bible.  The church is located in Holley, NY. I don't know where Jilly was from upstate. I know her and Davey lived in NY City for awhile but then they lived upstate before WV. 

They support 100 missions! (Rods aren't one of them) - http://opbbc.info/missions/ That seems like a lot. Is it normal for these types of churches to support so many missions? I am Catholic so we support mission through Catholic Services and Catholic Services divides up the money - unless it is a special collection to go directly to Haiti or Houston, etc after the hurricanes. But we still give it to Catholic Services and then they send the money and/or supplies. 

[Palimpsest]

7 minutes ago, quiversR4hunting said:

So the Parfitt's are from upstate NY. Could they know the Rods? Parfit's attend Old Paths Bible Baptist Church  I think that would fundie enough and the correct amount of modest style to have Jilly's approval. And they are authorize 1611 KJ Bible.  The church is located in Holley, NY. I don't know where Jilly was from upstate. I know her and Davey lived in NY City for awhile but then they lived upstate before WV. 

They support 100 missions! (Rods aren't one of them) - http://opbbc.info/missions/ That seems like a lot. Is it normal for these types of churches to support so many missions? I am Catholic so we support mission through Catholic Services and Catholic Services divides up the money - unless it is a special collection to go directly to Haiti or Houston, etc after the hurricanes. But we still give it to Catholic Services and then they send the money and/or supplies. 

Elliot Parfitt's young widow, Hannah, is Facebook Friends with J.Rod.  Small Fundie world.

Elliot and Hannah attended Antioch Anabaptist Church in Medina, NY after they were married.  https://cooperfuneralhome.com/tribute/details/276/Elliott-Parfitt/obituary.html

ETA.  I can't remember where JillR was from exactly, but the Fosters were from the Greater Rochester area.  Holley is quite close to Rochester.

Edited January 23, 2019 by Palimpsest

[hollyandivy]

32 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

So I went looking and I don’t see any evidence that the Parfitts have attended any recent FEW conferences. So it’s possible the Parfitts and Frazers haven’t met. Too bad. It would be a headcovering and frumper extravaganza! 

No, the Parfitts attended a FEW conference

https://www.parfittfamily.com/2018/11/virginia-few-conference-2018/#more-820

And I think that  is a Fraser girl in the background

[quiversR4hunting]

15 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Elliot Parfitt's young widow, Hannah, is Facebook Friends with J.Rod.  Small Fundie world.

<gasp> how can she have her own Facebook page without a headship? ?

[JermajestyDuggar]

23 minutes ago, hollyandivy said:

No, the Parfitts attended a FEW conference

https://www.parfittfamily.com/2018/11/virginia-few-conference-2018/#more-820

And I think that  is a Fraser girl in the background

Thank you! So they have met. I think a pairing between those two families would not be surprising. Now that I think about it, I think that was their biggest FEW conference last year. I shouldn’t be surprised I didn’t see the three Parfitt girls in pictures. They were probably lost in the crowd. 

Hannah Parfitt is also friends on FB with the Fosters and the Millers. 

Edited January 23, 2019 by JermajestyDuggar

[usedbicycle]

It's interesting how the Staddons have merged towards the Plain Christian crowd since the implosion of ATI, where the style was dressy-conservative. The first Staddon daughters-in-law look very different from the new families at FEW conferences. Lots of headcoverings and plain dress. 

I've always been interested in why Christians with similar beliefs end up dressing so differently, such as Anna Marie in the Maxwell clan. 

1 hour ago, Pecansforeveryone said:

Since the Bates and to some extent the Duggars dress more stylishly, I forget that yes some fundies are still plain-dressers even though Sounds Like Reign is head covering and plain dressing. 

Is Sounds Like Reign being discussed anywhere on FJ? They're fascinating to me too (I love Lindsay's singing voice and their sweet boys). They're more like hippies who became Plain Christians. 

 

[quiversR4hunting]

What a blog post on the Parfitt about the FEW conference. They were almost to NY (state) and the writer says:

Quote

Annabelle drove 70 for the first time!

I really hope it was because of the questionable weather not because she literally had never driven 70 mph. If they were just outside NY state, they would have been in PA which on the highway the max speed limit is 70 which means traffic runs between 75 & 80 in good weather. That might be BEC but it seems like a weird thing to be excited about. 

I found it interesting the hostess that the Parfitt's stayed with had a cabin on the property to stay on, I don't know anyone that just has a cabin on the property for guests. (I grew up on a farm and many of the friends and family had plenty of acres to do so but didn't) Or were their hostesses running a cabin type camp ground? 

I went to the Staddon blog and, forgive me I a new to all these families, they seem to be one of the organizers of FEW, is that correct? Staddon's blog doesn't say much about the conference. So I went over to the Neely family (I was looking for the Wilkes). The Neely family talked about the NC FEW.  and they list 5 highlights

Quote

1.Precious times of fellowship with other like-minded believers

2.History and character lesson on the topic of forgiveness from the lives of Jacob DeShazer and Mitzu Fotchita

3.Seeing children who are eager to sing praise to the Lord

4.Spending time praying with and for other families

5.Being reminded of the boundless, unmeasured, infinite grace that God gives to us

#2 makes me assume they are ATI - character lessons. 

#3 - ah duh. All children want to please their parents and adults in general. It has nothing to do with the Lord. 

I find it dumb that the little kids are sitting in that hall with all the adults. I know these people probably don't believe in separate bible studies but good grief kids don't understand the adult talk! 

I never did find an up-to-date Wilkes blog. 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

Is Sounds Like Reign being discussed anywhere on FJ? They're fascinating to me too (I love Lindsay's singing voice and their sweet boys). They're more like hippies who became Plain Christians. 

I did a quick search and they have come up a couple of times (in the Smythe thread and on a vloggers thread) but don't seem to have their own thread. 

I'm not familiar with them.  Go ahead and start a thread for them if you want. 

1 hour ago, usedbicycle said:

It's interesting how the Staddons have merged towards the Plain Christian crowd since the implosion of ATI, where the style was dressy-conservative. The first Staddon daughters-in-law look very different from the new families at FEW conferences. Lots of headcoverings and plain dress. 

I've always been interested in why Christians with similar beliefs end up dressing so differently, such as Anna Marie in the Maxwell clan. 

 I think there have always been a smattering of plain dressers and head coverers (is that a word?) in IBLP circles.  I remember seeing photos of pre 2010 IBLP mission trips that included some head covering girls.  It could be one of those personal conviction things - or it could be that some Gothardites are actually targeting the Amish and Mennonite communities to get converts.  Like the Bontragers.

This book https://www.amazon.com/My-People-Amish-Story-Father-ebook/ is by a man who left an Old Order Amish community and is now helping escaping teens.  Problem is that he sounds as Fundie (if not Gothardite) AF.  He even includes the questionnaire  he used to screen his daughter's potential husbands at the end of the book.

I think Daddy Vuolo has a "mission" to the Amish too.

Out of the frying pan into the fire for Amish youth, if you ask me.

Edited January 23, 2019 by Palimpsest

[formergothardite]

32 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I think there have always been a smattering of plain dressers and head coverers (is that a word?) in IBLP circles.  I remember seeing photos of pre 2010 IBLP mission trips that included some head covering girls.

Yes. There was overlapping between plain dressing/head covering folks and IBLP. I don't know how many, or if any still are a part of the cult. IBLP drew in a diversity of people from all denominations and beliefs about clothing and I think that is something that is often not understood. 

 

[Palimpsest]

1 hour ago, quiversR4hunting said:

I went to the Staddon blog and, forgive me I a new to all these families, they seem to be one of the organizers of FEW, is that correct? Staddon's blog doesn't say much about the conference. So I went over to the Neely family (I was looking for the Wilkes). The Neely family talked about the NC FEW.

Yes.  IIRC, the Staddons, Neelys and Wilkes families are the main organisers of FEW.   It is their ministry.  And, yes, they are marinating in IBLP beliefs.  All that "character stuff" is IBLP to the max.

The Parfitts attended an IBLP conference as far back as 2010 before Ken died and heard Mr. Gothard himself speak, bless their hearts. 

Sean-Allen met his best friend James (possibly Staddon) who now shuns him through ATI.  James and Sean are the same age.

And the Frazers have done a lot of JTTHs.

Has anyone managed to find a list of the names of all the Frazers on their blog.  Or have a take on their ages?

Edited January 23, 2019 by Palimpsest

[nelliebelle1197]

Esther Staddon is the Poor Sarah of the Staddon clan. They will never marry her off. And I just can't see a Maxwell girl like forehead enough to marry a Staddon.

I still 'ship Robert and David Waller. I am NOT making jokes here. Those boys spark and have chemistry. I hate it if they really like like each other (as the middle schoolers in my life say) and can't act on it.

[NachosFlandersStyle]

6 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

And when it comes to who you never want to sit next to on a plane - probably any member of the Parfitt family other than Sean-Allen.  They evangelised on a 14 hour flight to Australia in 2013 

Apparently their witnessing strategy is to be so loud the whole plane can hear, saving them the trouble of speaking to each person individually. Yikes.

"We have other stories of the actual flights, especially Reese talking about the Bible so loudly and clearly that those of us a row ahead and beside him could hear him. He was talking to a saved girl, but the Mormon next to him heard it all. And the Catholic missionaries on his row did."  

They put so much excruciating detail into their travel posts. Whole sagas of how they found the Panda Express in the airport terminal and who sat in which row. And of course, the struggle to keep their eyes averted from the wicked in-flight entertainment. 

[albireo]

58 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Has anyone managed to find a list of the names of all the Frazers on their blog.  Or have a take on their ages?

The kids are: David (m. Erica Taylor, 4 kids), Elizabeth (engaged to Michael Staddon), Jonathan, Nathanael (m. Samantha Taylor, 2 kids), Evelyn (graduated high school in 2015), Stephen (born Feb 11, not sure what year, also graduated high school in 2015), Sarah (courting Jeremie Rheaume), William, and Amy.

No clue on ages except I'd suspect Evelyn and Stephen are in their early 20s.

On the Parfitts: read their account of the trip to Moldova and how offended they were at encountering Eastern Orthodox "heretics." They were really enraged. Wow.

Edited January 23, 2019 by albireo