Counting On season 5/6/7 Part 3 - Weddings, Babies, and Denial

[neurogirl]

Can we talk about what this pillow is??

[melon]

Smuggar and Anna had a pillowcase,too..of the two of them,remember?

[TXCATLADY]

Has anyone else noticed that Lauren comes off a bit masculine - which admittedly is quite skillful in a baby voice. Look at how they sit on the couch with Josiah’s shoulder / arm in front of hers. Watching all the other couples, they are either side by side or the girl in front. She also seemed to take the lead in other situations. I don’t remember the quote but she said something as they were walking in the church about the first kiss that should’ve been something a boy would have said instead.

I do have to say her body was rocking in that grandma gown she wore. I’ve never seen a modest dress fit so snugly.

The hand jokes cracked me up. So funny that Josiah didn’t get it or pretend not to understand. Either was is hilarious. 

[Buzzard]

Josiah and Lauren’s Prank-less wedding

TTH shows signs of spring.  We’re told that it’s a week from the wedding (which was in june…)

Josiah tells us that lauren is always there for him and says things in a gentle way.  Lauren says that his leadership qualities – knowing how to be a good leader and let people feel special.

They’re looking forward to the first kiss and being alone.

SWANSON’S HOME

They are writing 52 reasons why I love you or am thankful for you.  They’ll pull one out each week starting on the wedding day.  (WTF?)

Of course, there are colored markers involved and discussions about his eyes and how she handles pressure.  I’m not sure how this helps anything but they think it’s a healthy exercise for when someone annoys you like squeezing their toothpaste from the middle.

They are now focusing on sleep because they don’t know when they’re going to find time with all the people coming in and the crap they have to do.

TEXAS

JInJer head to the midwife to take a birth class.  Jinger is glad the baby is chillin because she wants to go to the wedding.  We’re reintroduced to the midwife, Alisa. 

In the class – Jinger says it’s a given that she will have a 12 hour labor.  She needs to focus on not the length but relax and deal with the moment

Jessa – I feel for every expectant mom (flashbacks to jessa in labor).  It seems like a daunting task but you make it through and you wonder how you made it through but meeting your child and holding that baby held you dread labor less.

Jinger – Having my mom there, I want her there to be a comforting thing. She’s been through this countless times.  Having someone there that knows me and has been through this and can coach me, that close connection, is huge.

Long labors are common unfortunately so when I think about birth it just is a bit there in my mind. I expect to have a very long labor and that’s stressful.

Alisa simulates having a contraction. Jeremy laughs.

Jeremy – Alisa acted like she was going into labor and I was unsure what to do. I was looking at jinger to see what the reaction was.  “I was about to call nine eleven.”

If that was real and my wife I would have asked “how can I help you.”  If she’s crying or hurting I want to know why and “what should my response be.” If she says that she just wants to cry I let her cry, if its something I did I want to ask forgiveness (WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK? WHY IS JINGER HAVING ENOUGH CRYING MOMENTS THAT HE HAS A PLAN FOR THIS?)

JInger TH – Just having him there to support me is important.

Alisa gives them ice to hold in their hands.  They hold it the length of the contraction. 

Producer – gives J’kids ice to hold.  They comment it hurts. Jessa gives up. Autin rambles about how its like the worst pain you’ve ever had in your life and imagine that it could be worse.  Josiah blows in and out, Lauren tells him he needs a breath mint.  Jessa tells them its nothing like a contractions.

Back in the room, Jeremy says it wasn’t that bad. They try out some birthing positions.  Interestingly, there are 2 women in the class with them.  The other couples are male/female.

Ben offers advice, like “be there.” Austin says “prepare mentally because it can be a long time.” Its our time to be there.

Jinger forgot she was holding ice when Jeremy was holding her and giggles maniacally. 

COMMERCIAL

Swanson’s home.  They prepare decorations and food for a tea party Lilly is hosting.  There are cupcakes, flowers, and all kinds of food that didn’t come from cans.

The following screen grab is submitted without comment because I am not worthy to caption this

Lily tells us that Lauren is an example to her and she is elegant and classy.

Lauren – growing up lily and I were best friends.  She’s gotten used to Josiah being in the picture, she’llbe a little sad but she’ll get used to it.

They set the table with actual cups and teapots.  No disposables in sight!

Lilly explains that she loves tea parties since she was little.

The Duggars arrive, and of course, Michelle is first through the door.  They are told to put on hats.  Jessa is amazed they are using fine china, good food, and tea.

The men wear “top hats” and girls “flowery things.”  We’re told this isn’t something Duggar men are into.

Lily explains the rules.  Men must pull chairs for ladies.  Only the cup may leave the table. 

Who is the little boy seated at the table?  I kind of like Lily. 

Producer asks the J’kids stupid tea party etiquette questions.  No more than 3 helpings on your plate, no pinky up.  You don’t have to stir your sugar clockwise. 

Ben comments that they will likely break a lot of rules. Jessa admits to taking 4 of the veggies.  She ate it quickly so it was ok.

Boob and Dwain talk about officiating.  Its his first. “I’m going to tie the knot real tight.”  He just got his minister licence that week.

Jana sits off by herself (or so it appears) with a “fuck this shit” look.

Boob remarks how great Josiah and lauren will be together. 

COMMERCIAL

Reception hall – 2 days before the wedding

They’re there to decorate.  OH YAY! Its our good friend Cindy!

Gideon is there!

Cindy hopes they can bring “their story “ to life.

Jana – its crazy setting up for another wedding, weddings and babies are the norm.  We’ll probably do another before the end of the year.

We’re reminded who Cindy is.  We’re reminded that Joe and Kendra got engaged at Joy’s wedding and Josiah and Lauren were working together and they like eachother at that wedding.  So… someone is next!

They raise a banner.  Austin wants a single guy to raise the banner, Jer is single right now. 

Jessa toys with the idea of Jana

We’re told theres already another relationship. Don’t say who…

Cindy – I like to hear a couple’s story and tug on their heart.  She talks about “after I did jinger’s V…”  “Jim bob loves the V so much.”  OMG stop saying that! 

Austin drives in on a cherry picker. They remove the ceiling panels to hang crap. Austin says “if you cant tie a knot, tie a lot.”

Austin asks cindy if she likes the “D” banner.  Cindy replies “That’s not my favorite option.”  The woman next to her has the BEST FACE EVER

The D looks like “d for DUMB”

We’re told decorations have to be planned months in advance but it always comes down to crunch time.

SUPERMARKET

At Duggar weddings car trashing is something they have to do.  Its something they remember, and they wont enjoy the drive, but…

They buy post it notes. They discuss buying stinky things because Josiah is the prankster.

Flashbacks to all of Josiah’s pranks like not having a ring at Joken’s wedding.

This prank will be well deserved.

They buy sardines.

Josiah will take the prank well and Lauren will be fine with it.

Next up, they look at cheeses. 

Josiah has a backup to his backup car, so they’re going to trash all the cars.

COMMERCIAL

Rehearsal Day

They unload a bunch of crap, flashback to unloading crap at jinjers wedding.

The theme is “princess memories.”  Dwain’s favorite memores were horseback rides.  Lauren held a crown at the last wedding so… that’s the theme!

The theme is a surprise and the big reveal is a tradition

In the kitchen, they are making things at first Baptist church.  They have to use their kitchen because the other one is booked.  Cupcakes are ideal because you can make a lot at once. They’re making 1000 strawberry shortcakes with 200 gluten free ones.  Lauren and her mom are gluten free.

Lauren is excited that she can eat it and strawberry shortcake is josiah’s favorite.

They’re concerned because theres so much to do.  Theyre making a heart shaped cake that will be gluten free.  Theres a transport issue because they’re not at the venue and its 100+ degrees out and the icing is cream cheese based.

Back at the venue they build the backdrop. Josiah isn’t allowed there because it’s a surprise.  The J’boys are wearing the same clothes they were in at the supermarket.

Cindy explains that she’s OCD

COMMERCIAL

23 hours until the wedding

Josiah and Lauren show up.  She’s wearing a frumpy white dress and flat sandals

They see the sanctuary and they love the details. Cindy puts everyone at their marks on the stage. Lily cries and lauren cries.  They hug.

Lauren TH – it kicked in for lily that I was actually getting married and she started crying.

Dwain tells them no pranks in the sanctuary. Cindy’s idea was no pranks at the wedding, but that got negged because he’s the king of pranks.  Dwain says “there will be other opportunities but nothing here.”

Jana – Sorry buddy but you have it coming

They all agree to not do pranks or surprises in the sanctuary.

Jinger – its really hard to refrain because he deserves it.

Lily is still crying

COMMERCIAL

Wedding day!

They walk in, arm in arm  Police parked outside…

They explain they want to be together the whole day.  They unload their stupid “52 reasons” and they read one of them to eachother.  Hers says “you push me to think outside the box.”  They side hug.  He selects his “I remember the time before you asked me to marry you… you were so calm and had the sweetest smile, the tears in your eyes and the sunset…you may not think it” and she says “but you are romantic.” They sidehug again.

They do a TH together and almost kiss.  This is the first time we’ve seen lauren without her awful makeup.  She looks MUCH better without that bronzer!

They head off to get dressed.  Joy hugs Josiah and asks him if he’s ready.  She explains she loves all her siblings differently and she gets emotional.

Dwain jokes that he doesn’t have a suit.  One is brought to him.  Jana peeks into the men’s area with a chik fil a cup.

The women do their makeup.  Lauren wanted to be alone with her mom to get ready so they can have quiet time.  Lauren says cheesy crap about “waiting for this moment my whole life.”  They discuss who will cry.

Back in the kitchen Sarah, the baker, decided that they will put the cake together and ice it over there.  They have giant bowls of icing… and hunt for the cardboard forms for the cake.  She says “we prepped it all and hid it so none of the pieces would show on the tape.”

The pieces are now missing.  She wants to cry.

Back to the men’s changing area

Joe tells Josiah about the first kiss. They have a plan.

Producer – did you practice with your hand?

Josiah “ I did to see what it felt like from her side”

(I’M JUST GOING TO LEAVE THAT THERE TOO)

Lauren asks for breath spray.  A child is passed out on the floor next to the pack n play that holds another sleeping child.  The larger kid is sleeping on a pillow with a face on it that kind of looks like lauren

She’s excited to finally kiss.  Her mom tells her if they miss, go for it again.

COMMERCIAL

They gift wrap a car that’s on a flatbed truck.  They’re going to think it’s a getaway car but it’s a 60s model joke.  It doesn’t run. The “new car” will have sticky notes and is stinky.

This is not during the ceremony so they didn’t break their pledge.

Lily comes in and tells her how beautiful she looks. 

They walk down the hall to the “first look.”  Chik fil a platters abound.

All the bridesmaids are lined up waiting for them.  Josiah waits in the sanctuary and cshe comes in.  He turns around and she says “I love you.”   They sidehug.  The swansons hug in the background.  He gives her the bouquet.

Lauren comments in a TH that he didn’t cry

I find it odd that, for someone who made such a BFD about “modesty,” no one told her that her bra strap was visible throughout the entire scene.  I guess that’s what happens when you cant get fitted properly…

They pray.  Yup, still there. Just make sure you dont show your knees, I guess!

At John Brown University they set up for the cake.  Ominous musak plays because they still cant find the boards.  They cut a new one and put the cake on the heart shaper to make a heart and line the tables with strawberries.

They haven’t had lunch or breaks and may miss the wedding, but they’re really just servants to the duggars so…

At the church they all line up.  T minus 30 minutes. Lauren says she’s calm.

Austin is so damn annoying as he gives a speech to Josiah and the menfolk. He’s been married for 10 minutes, STFU.  They pray.

Josiah knows that there will be a prank but he has safety procedure, like holding on to the rings.

They line up… Lauren tells her dad it’s the happiest day of her life.  (Its kind of sad, because she keeps saying that and I’mnot sure if she believes it or just thinks she should say it)

COMMERCIAL

The wedding party enters.  People fan themselves.

Josiah sweats

Finally piano bangs and a violin plays.  Lauren walks in

Lauren says she was in her own world and she just saw siah at the end.

He cries.  Lauren tells her dad she loves him.

Josiah says it was worth the wait saving his heart for her.  Lauren says “ya’ll are next” to a male she walks by on the way to the alter.

Lauren reads a speech about her dad is her hero, her best friend, and the man she first loved.   He was an example of a godly man and an example of what she has to pray for in Josiah.  She promises to always be his little girl.

Everyone is sweating – maybe the a/c wasn’t working?

Dwain starts by thanking lauren and Josiah to let him officiate.  They blur out the apple logo on the ipad hes reading from.

Dwain prays that they’ll have a multitude of children. They read their vows.  He stresses the “faithful” part of his vow. She promises to be his helpmeet, cheerleader, and lover.

Josiah held the rings “for protection.”  They exchange rings.  They light the unity candle as someone sings “our father.”  They sign the wedding license and kneel to pray. Boob and Michelle do not join them.

Dwain blesses them and he pronounces them husband and wife.  Josiah asks to kiss her.  They slow mo it and…

COMMERCIAL

Josiah moves in for the kiss and eats her face. Its pretty nasty

He wipes his mouth after and tries to kiss her again, she pulls back (theres already a gif so I’ll leave that be.  Its awesome)

The first kiss was like “the 4th of july.”  Josiah says “a lot better than the hand.”

He picks her up and carries her out of the sanctuary.

The J’kids say the kiss was “impressive.”

At the party they’re introduces.  Josie eats candy.

They say it feels “wonderful” to be married. They kiss again.

They walk up on stage and Austin gives them cupcakes.  Lauren tells everyone that its gluten free from the stage.

They cut the cake and feed each other a piece.  She puts some frosting on his nose. They kiss again.

Producer:  Who is the next one to get married?

Jana – as one is getting married another is starting a relationship. 

We see shots of JD and Abbie.  We see that the person Lauren spoke to walking down the aisly was JD. 

Abbie sits on the TH case with JD.  She introduces herself to the camera.  She’s a nurse that works with geriatrics and loves her family.  Shot of JD walking into the TTH and says “I want to introduce you to my girlfriend.”

JD – on week 2 I said we should prove them right.  They were shocked.  They were speechless.  Joy started bawling.

The families have known eachother for 18 years but I didn’t meet her until 2 ½ months ago.  He was in texas doing flight training and had to fly to a speaking engagement and noticed her and she noticed me and we haven’t stopped talking since. They met on Sunday and a week after they were courting.  If you know it’s the right one, don’t wait around.

Jessa – I’m super excited to meet Jinjer’s baby and there will be another wedding.

Austin – we accomplished a lot in our first year

Kendra – I cant wait to see garrett walk, smile

Jinger – in this year I’m excited about entering motherhood

Jessa – pottytraining spurgeon, one less in diapers.

Jer/Jed – a lot more grandkids!

Joken – honeymoon babies are a trend!

Joy – there will be more weddings and babies.

They walk out of the party and everyone throws rice.  They get to the car and unwrap it.  It’s the clunker. Lauren is itching from lavender seeds and its not the car.  They kiss and look for the next car.

It pulls up with sticky notes. Lauren gets in and they dump more lavender on her.

TH – they’re going to Austria for the honeymoon and will do ministry.  They kiss in the car – there is a visible thing of blue cheese.

Once they drove off they realize how much the car stinks.  Justin was hiding in the back of the car.  The freaky pillow is right center…

They kick him out of the car.

THE END

I'm pretty sure that was the least painful Duggar wedding episode ever, but it was still AWFUL.  Let us all pray to Rufus that the Duggar train has ended and there shall be no more,

AMEN

 

 

[Lizzybet]

On 9/27/2018 at 12:08 PM, Carm_88 said:

I went to a Catholic school and I never had Nov 1st off.

Hmmm, twelve years of Catholic school, and we ALWAYS had 11/1 off. It was also a holy day of obligation.

Could it be regional, according to which archdiocese one lives in? 

[Pete Pickles]

5 hours ago, SilverBeach said:

Some people have depressed immune systems, and it is no laughing matter.

I did say OVERLY sensitive, not those who are reasonably sensitive as in the case of a health issue. I’m sure we would have been told 19 times and counting if Austin was one of those.

[Lurky]

@Buzzard As always, thank you for taking the hit for your FJ fanclub! How depressing that that was the "best" wedding episode - such a low, low bar!

I'm sad that what Lauren wanted was to be alone with her mother before her wedding, but instead had the camera crew...

Also that stuff about practicing kissing on a hand is just baffling - sounds like a 13 year old kid, not a young man who's expecting to be a father in less than a year.

[VeryNikeSeamstress]

At the next wedding, instead of asking the kiddults and marrieds what they thought of their sibling's first kiss, they should all have score cards to raise as it's happening.

Embarassing story time. When my best friend and I were about 10 years old, we put a t-shirt on a pillow, stuffed some jogging pants, then drew a picture of the face of the boy she liked on a piece of paper, which cut out in an oval shape, stapled to another piece of paper, and stuffed with tissue. We basically wound up with a love doll of the boy she liked, to practice kissing and slow dancing with. When I see that life sized picture of Lauren's face on a pillow, that's all I can think of.

[Pete Pickles]

Every wedding episode when we get the TH of the couple saying they’re most looking forward to driving away together and alone, I wonder if it’s a thinly veiled sex reference (like those Jim Bob used to make all the time) or if they literally mean the most exciting part of their wedding will be not having chaperones when it’s over. 

I know it has been mentioned that Abbie looks a little like Jana, but I initially thought she looked like JD and after seeing them on film and not only photos, I’m sure of it. She looks more like his twin than jana does. Regardless, they seem sweet together and I love his bubbly personality with her. I don’t think we’ve ever seen that before.

and Jeremiah looked a lot like Jeremy roloff tonight. I can’t be the only one who sees it.

[PumaLover]

2 hours ago, neurogirl said:

Can we talk about what this pillow is??

I totally thought that was Cousin Amy on the pillow and I was confused!

Thank you @Buzzard. I tried to watch and I fell asleep.

[Buzzard]

8 minutes ago, Pete Pickles said:

Every wedding episode when we get the TH of the couple saying they’re most looking forward to driving away together and alone, I wonder if it’s a thinly veiled sex reference (like those Jim Bob used to make all the time) or if they literally mean the most exciting part of their wedding will be not having chaperones when it’s over. 

But they dont even get to drive away together because there was a damn camera in the car!

[BachelorToTheRapture]

3 hours ago, viii said:

As a wedding guest, I LOVE when they do a 'first look', because that usually means they do photos before the wedding. I really hate attending a wedding at 2 pm, having it finish before 3, and then have to kill time for 2-3 hours before the reception starts. I know this probably sounds catty, whoops. 

I just got married and LOVED my first look. It gave us quite a bit of alone time together before anyone else got to the venue (We told them not to come early). The alone time to take pictures and have some time to just be together was great and really helped me relax. He still cried when I walked down the aisle. 

[Ilovebrownies]

Did anyone else think the big D was ugly and looked more like a college sports team banner?  Miss Cindy is better at Vs than Ds.

[Buzzard]

17 minutes ago, Ilovebrownies said:

Did anyone else think the big D was ugly and looked more like a college sports team banner?  Miss Cindy is better at Vs than Ds.

I thought it looked like medieval times

[Cheetah]

2 hours ago, Buzzard said:

 

 

 

OK, guy in red shirt on the lift is who I was talking about earlier that I thought looked like Josh.  Now I think this is too young and a bit too buff but who is it?  He's getting a little chunky as well.  

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

1 minute ago, Cheetah said:

OK, guy in red shirt on the lift is who I was talking about earlier that I thought looked like Josh.  Now I think this is too young and a bit too buff but who is it?  He's getting a little chunky as well.  

Nah, that's not Turd. *speculation train* a boo-thing for Jana? TLC does love wedding hints, haha. On that note, there was a blonde straight-haired girl that we got glimpses of in this SiRen episode, and I think she was Kendra's non-family bridesmaid as well.....we also saw a lot of Jeremiah..... *choo choo* xD

[srlm]

53 minutes ago, Buzzard said:

I thought it looked like medieval times

It’s the D from Disneyland. 

[Jinder Roles]

6 hours ago, Ilovebrownies said:

OMG Jim Slob loves the V AND the D!  Waiting on the big O.

Ok so Jana has to marry someone whose last name begins with O 

Make it happen, Rufus! 

[SapphireSlytherin]

39 minutes ago, Jinder Roles said:

Ok so Jana has to marry someone whose last name begins with O 

Make it happen, Rufus! 

Joel O'Steen is already married, no?

 

[ihaveanexamintwodays]

17 minutes ago, SapphireSlytherin said:

Joel O'Steen is already married, no?
 

Joel Osteen is in his 50s and is most def married lol. Joel Osteen's son Jonathan, though, is a recent college grad only 5 or so years younger than Jana.....lmao talk about a hellish match that'd be.

[Satan'sFortress]

Their wedding theme was a tribute to her dead horse. That's just really weird. 

When the boys were shopping for pranks, one of them (Justin, maybe?) looked like he was wearing salmon colored pedal-pushers with weird boots.  Is this OK for a fundie man?

How on earth does Ben know about Jane Austen?  He said that the tea party reminded him of a Jane Austen novel.  He even referenced Mr. Darcy.  Do fundies read Jane Austen?  

Joy looked really beautiful. 

Josiah makes me feel awkward.  He seems so . . . fake? Forced?  Disingenuous?  I can't quite put my finger on it, but it was difficult to watch for me. Kind of like he was saying the things that he thought were expected of him.  Lauren seemed a bit like this, as well.  For their sakes, I hope that this was just awkwardness on camera.   

 

[viii]

I could NOT get over the talk about Jim Bob loving the V and wanting the D. Like, legit cringing. 

[3SecondSideHugger]

5 hours ago, Pete Pickles said:

Every wedding episode when we get the TH of the couple saying they’re most looking forward to driving away together and alone, I wonder if it’s a thinly veiled sex reference (like those Jim Bob used to make all the time) or if they literally mean the most exciting part of their wedding will be not having chaperones when it’s over. 

I know it has been mentioned that Abbie looks a little like Jana, but I initially thought she looked like JD and after seeing them on film and not only photos, I’m sure of it. She looks more like his twin than jana does. Regardless, they seem sweet together and I love his bubbly personality with her. I don’t think we’ve ever seen that before.

and Jeremiah looked a lot like Jeremy roloff tonight. I can’t be the only one who sees it.

I also thought that a little of Jeremiah ..but also was thinking wow he is cute and a little different looking from the rest of the Duggars.. and has he been in this family for the past decade and I never noticed?! I swear when they speak of the younger boys I’ve never heard those names before. There was some post the other day mentioning a Justin and I thought wtf is there a Justin? 

[justmy2cents]

4 hours ago, Cheetah said:

OK, guy in red shirt on the lift is who I was talking about earlier that I thought looked like Josh.  Now I think this is too young and a bit too buff but who is it?  He's getting a little chunky as well.  

I believe that's Austin's brother-in-law Bobby Balinger. 

[CaricatureQualities]

2 hours ago, Satan'sFortress said:

Their wedding theme was a tribute to her dead horse. That's just really weird. 

Well it is fitting. The theme for the entire season was "beating a dead horse".