Lori Alexander 54: Embracing the Manosphere

[Hisey]

8 hours ago, Hane said:

@Hisey , and then there all the Evil Godless Teachers waiting to corrupt their innocent children. The ones I know are mainly concerned about whether the kids in their classes are learning to read or solve equations or conjugate Spanish verbs. Oh—or then there are the horrible ones like my sister, who (before free school breakfasts) used to keep healthy snacks in her desk for kids who came to school hungry. 

You know, awful people like those.

Your sister could have done a lot more good if she had sat in a recliner and spent her days on her computer, scolding other women. Instead of feeding hungry children. My goodness!

[onemama]

After a long break from Lori-land, her stuff seems even more illogical and insane...  I got to thinking that the words "cantankerous" and "old biddy" describe her very well.  Why did she have to post that blog about virgins with no tatoos or debts? Why did she have to pick on Rachel Hollis? Did Rachel Hollis write a post demeaning Lori and her teachings? Why did she link to that post about masturbation? ? Because she's a cantankerous old biddy. That's why.  Probably bored to tears sitting alone in her mc mansion now that she's no longer allowed to pick fights with Ken.

I don't know if this post has been shared on here. I actually came over to share it: heartless advice to wife who was sexually abused

Here you have some gems from the post:

How heartless can she be?  No "I'm sorry" or "I'll pray for you". Nothing but "listen to Michael Pearl". 

Ken says:

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 If you cannot learn to enjoy sex with your spouse you are defrauding him. One can give any number of excuses why they are justified in depriving a spouse, but such things are all self-centered and not loving towards their spouse.

Lori:

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 if you truly believed that you are dead and freed from you [sic] sin and your past and that you are now a new creature in Christ, you would have no problem being intimate with your husband.

Lori and Ken are horrible.  Nobody should be seeking their advice! Why do women keep flocking to her blog and telling her how awesome her posts are?   Don't they see the meanness that permeates everything she writes? 

I suspect nothing we or anyone else says is going to change the way she runs her blog, what she says and how she treats people.  I just hope the more vulnerable among her followers find posts like the one I linked to and come to the conclusion that Lori is the heartles, cantankerous old biddy that she truly is.  

Awesome job, Spiritual Sounding Board!  

[CatholicLite]

Ah, jeez. 

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The greatest passage in the Bible against public schooling is found in 2 Corinthians 6:14-17: “Be not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”

We are also warned that bad company corrupts good morals and we are also commanded to walk with the wise. We are told to teach the Lord’s ways to our children continually. “And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up” (Deuteronomy 11:19).

For real, Lori? Ugh, Jesus sat with publicans and sinners. Surely you could do the same. Sure, bad company can corrupt good morals, but not many people at public schools are awful! And yeah, there are going to be terrible people everywhere you go (even in your church) so unless she's advocating locking herself and every one of her followers in her house, she's in for a bad time, cause "darkness" is everywhere. Especially in the church. Be kind, respectful, and courteous, Lori. Learn from Jesus.

"Unequal yoke" with unbelievers isn't sending them to public school! Get a grip!

[Koala]

Lori (from today's post):

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I am becoming more and more convinced that the way the Duggars handle the relationships between young men and women is the way to go! 

Umm, hello?  Their son molested their daughters, and they covered it up!

Dear sweet Jesus...what the fuck is wrong with Lori?

Also, take a look at one of her new followers:

[smittykins]

"If you truly believed that you are dead and freed from you[r] sin and your past..."

Ten bucks says that Lori thinks the victim was complicit in her abuse. 

[FullOfGravy]

2 hours ago, onemama said:

Ken says:

Quote

 If you cannot learn to enjoy sex with your spouse you are defrauding him. One can give any number of excuses why they are justified in depriving a spouse, but such things are all self-centered and not loving towards their spouse.

So, if you're supposed to not only have sex whenever your spouse wants it, but also enjoy it, where does that leave Lori enduring her 10 minutes and lube?  BTW, that last clause was something I did not enjoy typing, because I want none of those images/thoughts in my head.

While I'm typing about unpleasant things, that poor woman.  She needs a good therapist, not a pair of crazies telling her that if she's still traumatized, it's just because she's not praying hard enough.  I hope someone in her real life will point her in that direction, and that her husband is less of a dick than Ken (yes, I know, lowest bar ever).

[Free Jana Duggar]

What is Lori's obsession with sex?  I agree it's best to wait (especially for teenagers). My point is that even though I have my beliefs, I don't have to constantly crow about them on the internet. What young college women do is none of my concern. 

I also question the claim that there are more male virgins. My guess would be the amount of male to female virgins would be about the same. As usual, Lori gives no sources.

 

[Imrlgoddess]

She likely got her numbers either from this Atlantic article or the CDC findings listed.  This article is from 2014.  A 2015 Cosmo article has a slightly different percentage.  39% vs her 12.3%.

www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/

www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a47924/college-virgin-poll/

and the CDC itself has the percentiles for young women having never had sexual intercourse in the 40's. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr104.pdf  

Looks like that last real study done was done between 2011-2015, so there's no way to know how much those numbers have changed in recent years. 

She really needs to stop getting her "facts" from random posts, blogs, articles and whatnot.  If she's really researching...she needs to fucking research.  Not play on the internet all day looking for something controversial to get some attention.  

[quiversR4hunting]

48 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

She likely got her numbers either from this Atlantic article or the CDC findings listed.  This article is from 2014.  A 2015 Cosmo article has a slightly different percentage.  39% vs her 12.3%.

www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/on-late-in-life-virginity-loss/284412/

www.cosmopolitan.com/politics/news/a47924/college-virgin-poll/

and the CDC itself has the percentiles for young women having never had sexual intercourse in the 40's. https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nhsr/nhsr104.pdf  

Looks like that last real study done was done between 2011-2015, so there's no way to know how much those numbers have changed in recent years. 

She really needs to stop getting her "facts" from random posts, blogs, articles and whatnot.  If she's really researching...she needs to fucking research.  Not play on the internet all day looking for something controversial to get some attention.  

So basically Cosmo has done more (survey based) research than Lori. Cosmo. The same magazine that gives makeup and fashion tips. HA HA HA - Cosmo!

Seriously, Lori is so lazy!

[AuntKrazy]

I suspect Lori's idea of "research" is to formulate her belief and then go out and search for things that confirm her bias.  It does not really take that much time nor intellect to do this.

I.e.  Lori has decided that she needs to talk about how "modesty is the natural order of things" again.  She goes to google and searches through results of, "monkey sexual behavior" in order to look for statistics to support my assertion, and finds:

 https://io9.gizmodo.com/5957021/monkeys-of-various-ranks-like-to-have-sex-with-each-other----but-only-when-no-ones-looking

And only reads the title, and then puts it in her writing as "research" saying - "Lookie there!  I am right (again).  Keep it (and yourself) at home, ladies!" (but blab about it non-stop all over the internet. . . )

 

[SuperNova]

Lori:

"We weren’t created to have sex like animals."

Uhhh...actually yes. Yes we are. Newflash, Lori. We are mammals and that's a kind of animal. Animals with the ability to think and reason but animals nonetheless. Someone needs to take Lori's google machine away and give her a coloring book.

[EowynW]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

Lori:

"We weren’t created to have sex like animals."

Uhhh...actually yes. Yes we are. Newflash, Lori. We are mammals and that's a kind of animal. Animals with the ability to think and reason but animals nonetheless. Someone needs to take Lori's google machine away and give her a coloring book.

Well ten minutes and some lube is a pretty base boring soulless way to do sex and reminds me of animals. 

[kmachete14]

I wonder if Lori would tell a veteran that their PTSD will just go away if they love their family enough and have a new life Christ! 

[SweetLaurel]

If it was a female vet, sure - served her right for not staying home!  A man...well, us poor weak minded females just need to be more submissive and read our Bible and pray and it will 'cure' his PTSD - or we will just have to endure.   Because Jesus.   And everything is the woman's fault.  

[lilwriter85]

2 hours ago, SweetLaurel said:

If it was a female vet, sure - served her right for not staying home!  A man...well, us poor weak minded females just need to be more submissive and read our Bible and pray and it will 'cure' his PTSD - or we will just have to endure.   Because Jesus.   And everything is the woman's fault.  

I have to agree that would Lori's take. Sadly, I could see her saying the same thing if a female paramedic, firefighter, cop, or nurse developed PTSD or depression related to their jobs. I know two former paramedics who have PTSD related to the job. One is a woman who was a paramedic for almost 20 years. She went back to school and got an LPN license and she works at a family clinic because she still likes helping in a healthcare field.  She had kids and I'm sure Lori would have said she deserved PTSD for working outside the home. The other one is a man who is a close family friend who told me that he moved away from the town he lived because he saw too many reminders of horrible accidents and crimes that he responded to. 

Lori shouldn't comment on any incident of PTSD regardless of how it was brought on. Her response about recommending that the sexually abuse woman listen to Michael Pearl lectures is dangerous as fuck. 

[Sarah92]

You mean the Michael Pearl who essentially raped and abused his wife on their honeymoon? Yes, Lori, he's totally the right one for a sexual abuse survivor to be listening to in order to heal. 

http://www.patheos.com/blogs/nolongerquivering/2014/07/quoting-quiverfull-michael-and-debi-pearls-honeymoon/

 

I've seen Ken try to talk about psychology and such and it is clear he had no idea what he's talking about. Why he thinks he can give advice on trauma is beyond me. Neither of them should be giving advice on such a thing. And that is certainly not how trauma works. Trauma can literally rewire the brain, especially in cases of complex or severe trauma. In many ways, those reactions (vomiting, panic attacks, hypervigilance) aren't always controllable because the brain makes the body react, sending it into fear mode. It's not about having more faith or dying to self. It's not about being dead to personal sins. This woman was sinned against by someone who thought that he/she could invade a person's body. The poor woman carries the weight of someone else's sin. I've sat with quite a few women with similar stories and similar desires; Lori's advice never worked for any of them. In fact, advice like that sent them spiraling in guilt and shame because they blamed themselves and not the evil advice someone moron thought fit to share. As a sexual assault victims advocate this make's me furious beyond measure. 

Seriously though what is this obsession with sex? I wonder if she's trying to compete with Sheila Gregorie who I think just had a series on sex. 

Lastly, why is she talking about news and politics? I thought they were too much for her delicate little female heart?

 

 

 

[wallysmommy]

These two have as much business giving advice about sex as I do about performing brain surgery.

[cara]

Don't send your sons to school because being taught by a female will make them girly. 

Instead, keep them at home 24/7 with Mama. That's how you breed manly Christian warriors!!! 

[TeddyBonkers]

12 hours ago, kmachete14 said:

I wonder if Lori would tell a veteran that their PTSD will just go away if they love their family enough and have a new life Christ! 

If she does, that will be the reason I get a burner Facebook for the specific purpose to post on her page again. (It should come as no surprise to you all that my real one has been banned.)

I do have PTSD stemming from my time overseas. Here's a shocker, though-I love my family and Jesus. These facts can coexist at the same time.

Ken's thought's on mental health (taken from his wall of text on TTW 2.0 FB)

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We have seen similar things with bipolars and borderlines personally where God seems to deliver the spouse from the oppression of the mental/emotional illness of their spouse by taking the spouse home. Some were believers that God simply decided were best served by removing them from the demons of bad thinking and actions that had their will in complete bondage. I have written a post or two on this, and almost always behind these two growing disease processes is bitterness.

 

[molecule]

Today Lori is telling me that she is holier than I am because I'm overweight and she isn't. She assumes that obesity is always the result of gluttony. Lori's obsession with food control drives me nuts.

Here's my theory: she recently caught Ken jacking off to BBW porn, leading to her Facebook post sharing the masturbation article and to today's post about obesity.

[ViolaSebastian]

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We have seen similar things with bipolars and borderlines personally where God seems to deliver the spouse from the oppression of the mental/emotional illness of their spouse by taking the spouse home. Some were believers that God simply decided were best served by removing them from the demons of bad thinking and actions that had their will in complete bondage. I have written a post or two on this, and almost always behind these two growing disease processes is bitterness.

Damn, reading this again really angries up the blood. This man has zero, and honestly sub-zero, right to talk about mental health if he believes bullshit like this. First of all, if he's diagnosing people, he needs to stop toot suit. There's a reason that mental health professionals are licensed and regulated, and that reason is assholes like Ken. Also, if he's seeing a ton of people with borderline personality disorder, then he needs to up his chops, because that condition is quite rare. He's much more likely seeing women with trauma in their past which needs to be addressed by *experts* and not some tool who took a psychology course in grad school. Just because someone lies doesn't mean their borderline. Just because someone is angry doesn't mean their borderline. Maybe women (and let's face it, he's talking about women) are lying for a reason or are angry because the men in their lives are douchebags, a la Ken.

Bipolar and borderline aren't "growing disease processes." They're mental illnesses. The rates appear to be increasing because mental healthcare is rising in acceptability and accessibility. Mothers don't cause bipolar, either type I or type II. I've never in my professional life heard someone refer to it as "bipolars." Bitterness has less than nothing to do with it. 

I'd also love to talk to these people who just decided to give up mental illness by just deciding not to think badly or do bad stuff, because that would be one hell of an academic paper. However, my inclination is that Ken is full of the richest, smelliest shit imaginable. It's downright *dangerous* to be shilling this idea, because people are going to stop taking their medication, which, leave no doubt, can be deadly. And what of people with borderline and bipolar disorder and fervently believe in God? Because they're out there, and claims like this make them feel terrible. It's neuro-chemical, it shouldn't surprise anyone that it needs to be treated with medication.

Sorry for the rant, he's just....ugh. You're the worst, Ken. 

Spoiler

 

 

 

 

[SongRed7]

Why am I not surprised that she actually said THIS on her fat shaming post on FB today:

 

The Transformed Wife: I agree! My son went on a dental missions trip when he was in dental school to Ethiopia and didn't see a fat person anywhere! It's a lie that obesity and being overweight is a medical condition.

 

Yep...no fat people in that third world country, where people might be actually STARVING .

[ladyicantxplain]

@TeddyBonkers, where is this garbage Ken has written on 2.0?  I want to find this in a bad way.

Is he actually referring to people by IDENTIFYING them with disease?  Calling them "bipolars" and "borderlines?"  Infuriating.

And then he blames the diseases on the person's "sin" of bitterness?  Am I reading this correctly?

Ken, you're supposed to set captives FREE, not blame them and call them by their "diseases"...

Can you set them free, or can you only talk about them incessantly and blame their condition on "bitterness"...?

And does he mean that "taking them home" meant they DIED?  Is he saying God "killed" a spouse to deliver a tormented spouse?  I really hope I'm reading this wrongly.

[PinkPrincess0213]

9 minutes ago, ladyicantxplain said:

@TeddyBonkers, where is this garbage Ken has written on 2.0?  I want to find this in a bad way.

Is he actually referring to people by IDENTIFYING them with disease?  Calling them "bipolars" and "borderlines?"  Infuriating.

And then he blames the diseases on the person's "sin" of bitterness?  Am I reading this correctly?

Ken, you're supposed to set captives FREE, not blame them and call them by their "diseases"...

Can you set them free, or can you only talk about them incessantly and blame their condition on "bitterness"...?

And does he mean that "taking them home" meant they DIED?  Is he saying God "killed" a spouse to deliver a tormented spouse?  I really hope I'm reading this wrongly.

I read it the same way - that they died and God used that to "deliver" them. You know how my mom got "delivered" from an abusive husband and "rescued" me and my siblings from a mentally unstable father? DIVORCE. I believe God was in that too. But according to Ken/Lori theology, I should have lost my mom instead? Such bullshit. These two make me insane!

[ladyicantxplain]

5 minutes ago, PinkPrincess0213 said:

I read it the same way - that they died and God used that to "deliver" them. You know how my mom got "delivered" from an abusive husband and "rescued" me and my siblings from a mentally unstable father? DIVORCE. I believe God was in that too. But according to Ken/Lori theology, I should have lost my mom instead? Such bullshit. These two make me insane!

How sad; I am so sorry that your mother was abused and your home tormented until deliverance by divorce.  This is awful. But better than losing your mother, no doubt worlds better than losing your mother (and subsequently your father, if he had murdered her).  There was at least one instance back when I was in ALCR where children were left as orphans because dad killed mom in a rage (no previous history of physical abuse; only verbal and emotional abuse history).  This kind of blows a hole in the theory that emotional and verbal abuse "isn't dangerous" and the wife should just "pray more" and "submit more", which is what Lori teaches.

Regardless, I do not think God, who is LIFE (as defined in the bible) goes around killing off spouses on purpose.  I believe the thief (as defined in the bible) definitely does.  I wish Ken and Lori would stop attributing things to God that are not His; untimely death is not His work and not His will.  Even for a tormented spouse.  If a spouse is tormented, divorce is a biblical option as God's heart is for the oppressed.  But we have this "no divorce - ever!" policy by Ken and Lori and it's over-the-top harsh.  While I don't believe a piece of paper called a divorce decree would have stopped the dad I mentioned above from murdering the mother of his children on her parent's front porch, I do believe telling women to just "live with their tormentors, submissively, until God kills the tormentor" is FAR OFF from bible.