Dillards 64: Now with Multi-Level Marketing!

[LurkerOverThePond]

But remember: "Two is for quitters!"  - Derick Dillard

 

[TheOneAndOnly]

I may be picking nits here, but on the Dillard Family site, the picture of Jill and the boys for Samuel's First Haircut! I do not like the way Izzy is holding his little brother's arm. I know kids will be kids but it makes me uncomfortable.  Jill was raised thinking that kids getting hurt is funny so I worry about those boys a lot.

[Snarkasarus Rex]

2 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

But remember: "Two is for quitters!"  - Derick Dillard

 

I think that was a joke.  His own parents had only two kids.

[finnlassie]

I have to agree with people here. This marriage might not last. Or at least it sort of looks like they won't be having any more kids in the near future.

It really makes me wonder; are Dillards perhaps doing family planning? Using some sort of birth control? Or are they going to have a sexless marriage? A marriage without sex isn't bad as a default, but knowin how sex crazed fundie families are... it must be a travesty!

[HarryPotterFan]

11 minutes ago, finnlassie said:

Using some sort of birth control?

Derick’s face?

Sorry, that was really mean. But the joke was right there.

[finnlassie]

2 minutes ago, HarryPotterFan said:

Derick’s face?

Sorry, that was really mean. But the joke was right there.

I'm gonna sound so rude and awful here, but maybe Derick is a cuck. Showing off her wife like that. Bare shoulders! Shorts! Oh my GOD, strange men are watching her and LUSTING after her since she's practically naked in the fundie eyes!

[Markie]

12 minutes ago, finnlassie said:

 

It really makes me wonder; are Dillards perhaps doing family planning? Using some sort of birth control? Or are they going to have a sexless marriage? A marriage without sex isn't bad as a default, but knowin how sex crazed fundie families are... it must be a travesty!

I can totally see Derick looking into some sort of birth control and having he and Jill follow that. If it failed and Jill got pregnant she’d have the baby. Time will tell. I don’t think they would have a sexless marriage. 

 

I also feel feel badly for Jill losing her FFF sponsorship. We know of the Bates girls with the same viewpoints, yet I imagine there of tons of others with even worse options than Jill. Wish her husband would just shut up and leave others alone so Jill wasn’t  so affected by his verbal/electronic diarrhea. Her ability to help provide for her family has been irreversibly hindered by her choice of a husband. I imagine the family really hates the horrible liberal heretics which “caused” Jill to lose her role on CO and her FFF sponsorship. I bet they don’t really blame Derick at all.

[finnlassie]

So, since I've been binging LegalEagle's videos, I've started to get a pretty good image of what law school is like and what it requires (at least in the US)... and Goddamn that's a lot of work. On one of the videos he said "law school is basically two full time jobs", as first you're in class 8am til 3pm, and then study another block of hours after class. Shit, is he gonna have any family time?

[Glasgowghirl]

Jill and Derick are the ones I see as the most likely to divorce. Derick is a horrible husband and when it comes to being a dad, even Josh came across as a more caring dad, well at least with his older kids. Derick puts himself first and Jill, Izzy and Sam last. While he may recent his choice to marry and have two kids but he needs to step up and provide for them. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

As others have mentioned, covenant marriages aren't all that binding. A woman I used to work with was divorced about 7 years after her covenant marriage. An extended period of separation all that is needed to initiate it. Leading me to think it really is about fundies getting to feel special and superior to the rest of us. 

[Dandruff]

11 hours ago, LawsonBatesEgo said:

And Dewreck would be screwed because Boob would cut him off in an instant for what he did to his precious golden child JillyMuffin. Good luck finishing law school when your father in law isn't bankrolling your life anymore AND basically everyone hates you more than they already did.

Speculation time:  The marriage is already on the rocks.  Jim Bob coughed up the law school money to keep Derick's mouth shut about family business and maintain public appearances.  It would also buy three years of proximity for the kids, during which time Jill and Derick's relationship might improve.

1 hour ago, Markie said:

Her ability to help provide for her family has been irreversibly hindered by her choice of a husband.

I agree that she has been irreversibly hindered, but don't believe that the marriage was fully her choice.  She and Derick were set up by Jim Bob (protector of her molester), and I think she went along with it as she was trained to do.  Derick was on his best behavior.  Daddy approved.  Center of attention on a televised trip to Nepal.

[Iamtheway]

You really can’t know what it’s like being a parent before you’re there. Jill and her sisters have a better idea then most but it would still be different when it’s your own child who you are responsible for. 

Derick probably had no idea and once he realised parenting wasn’t really for him it was way, way too late. 

I love Miniway more then anything in the world and now that he’s getting bigger I enjoy spending time with the person he is becoming more and more every day. I am glad I’m his mum and that I get to experience being a parent but I don’t particularly want to do it again. The difference is I have a choice. I can stop at one, enjoy him and his life, and be content with our small family. 

[JordynDarby5]

11 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

I was just thinking... what was the first sign that Derick was not the prince charming we hoped he would be? I don't remember clearly, but was it him trying to sled over that poor cat?

Yes, that was the first sign. Before then there really wasn't anything. But trying to sled over the poor cat. Aiming for the poor cat? That was messed up. Although given how quickly things went downhill after that I like to joke that was the Cat's Revenge.  

[Pecansforeveryone]

It's hard for me to say if Derrick and Jill are ill-suited because Jill is such a performance artist and so over the top, I have an extra hard time "reading" her. I do think Derrick and Jill rushed into marriage, each for their own reasons. 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

12 hours ago, squiddysquid said:

Sure grief makes you do a lot of things, my dad suddenly died when I was 19. I get that everybody grieves in their own way and maybe marriage was a way to seek stability.

But grief doesn't make you a homophobic asshole. And it doesn't excuse Derrick attacking a transgender minor on Twitter unprovoked.

He doesn't get an out for dragging his unvaccinated baby and pregnant wife to a country where Zika Virus is raging.

Also the soliciting of funds for his "missions" and using them for private stuff.

Yes, Sam's birth must have been traumatic. But again their choice. They should have learned their lesson after Izzies birth at the very latest. Still they attempted another complicated homebirth under shady circumstances and waited far too long to go to the hospital.

Oh I definitely agree with this.

I think it is more of an explanation for why he might have rushed into marriage and having a baby when he seems miserable and not ready for it. People in situations like him (a recently deceased parent, and a parent gravely ill) are vulnerable to rushing into relationships/marriages that end up being a disaster because the marriage happened because one of the partners was craving stability/"an instant family" or wasn't in the right frame of mind to be making such a heavy decision.

It doesn't explain what an awful person he is in general.

[MarblesMom]

7 hours ago, finnlassie said:

Shit, is he gonna have any family time?

I am not sure he really enjoys his family time, so law school might be a great escape.

[LawsonBatesEgo]

2 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

You really can’t know what it’s like being a parent before you’re there. Jill and her sisters have a better idea then most but it would still be different when it’s your own child who you are responsible for. 

I remember when Jill and Jessa were pregnant at the same time, and everyone though Jill was going to love being a mom and had the educated husband and that Jessa was the one who was a few months away from hating her life with kids and a manbaby husband. Yet it is now Jill who seems discontent with motherhood and her marriage, while Jessa seems to genuinely enjoy her boys and I think her and Ben have grown into their relationship a lot.

It is funny how things can turn out completely differently than you think they will.

I think Jessa is one of those people who loves HER kids, but didn't really enjoy being a sister-mom or having tons of siblings around. I know quite a few people who really enjoy THEIR kid/s or THEIR nieces/nephews/godchildren, but don't really enjoy other people's kids.

While I think Jill threw herself into being a really good sister mom because of her "goody-two-shoes" personality, and being a good sister mom and begging for another buddy to look after was a way of pleasing her parents. I think Jill liked the validation and praise that came from being a good sister mom, not the child care itself. There were also other people in the house that could help with the little kids if she was having a crap day.

But no one is patting her on the back for being a mom to the children she chose to have, and she is, IMO, quickly learning that no one is going to pat her on the back for changing the diapers of the kids she chose to become a mom to and that her husband is useless and she hasn't got the other J'Slaves to hand Izzy or Sam over to when she just doesn't feel like it. And her husband is useless.

[EmmieJ]

30 minutes ago, MarblesMom said:

I am not sure he really enjoys his family time, so law school might be a great escape.

The difference between Ben playing or interacting with his kids versus Derick doing the same is pretty stark.  Could it relate back to their own fathers?  Seems possible.  But what intrigues me is the difference between Jill and Jessa.  I believe Jill loves her two sons, but she also seems not to recognize or care when they are in distress.  Putting a pacifier into your toddler's mouth when he's congested and fussing?  Why not pick him up and soothe him instead?  Swaddle Izzy and he's crying hard, but you take a picture instead of immediately unwrapping and soothing him?  Jill is strangely detached from the discomfort of her own kids.  Plus, when has she posted a short video of her just having fun with her boys?  Not of Izzy helping in the kitchen, or giving Sam a haircut.  Just rolling around on the floor, or tossing a ball to Izzy outside, or building a fort of blankets, or snuggling on the couch?  I know, we only have snippets to go on, but it's so rare to see anything but a posed smile from her that I find it off and sad.

Either Jesse is a great actress and amazing at mommy PR, or she genuinely loves and likes her boys and seems content.  But maybe it's as simple that the difference is having a partner who appears to love being a dad.

[MarblesMom]

5 hours ago, Iamtheway said:

You really can’t know what it’s like being a parent before you’re there.

So true.  Some of us were born to be parents, and some of us wondered if our handbook got lost in the mail.

The best part is most of us didn't broadcast our parenting learnings and failures all over the net. 

We just did us.

[acheronbeach]

43 minutes ago, EmmieJ said:

The difference between Ben playing or interacting with his kids versus Derick doing the same is pretty stark.  Could it relate back to their own fathers?  Seems possible.  But what intrigues me is the difference between Jill and Jessa.  I believe Jill loves her two sons, but she also seems not to recognize or care when they are in distress.  Putting a pacifier into your toddler's mouth when he's congested and fussing?  Why not pick him up and soothe him instead?  Swaddle Izzy and he's crying hard, but you take a picture instead of immediately unwrapping and soothing him?  Jill is strangely detached from the discomfort of her own kids.  Plus, when has she posted a short video of her just having fun with her boys?  Not of Izzy helping in the kitchen, or giving Sam a haircut.  Just rolling around on the floor, or tossing a ball to Izzy outside, or building a fort of blankets, or snuggling on the couch?  I know, we only have snippets to go on, but it's so rare to see anything but a posed smile from her that I find it off and sad.

Either Jesse is a great actress and amazing at mommy PR, or she genuinely loves and likes her boys and seems content.  But maybe it's as simple that the difference is having a partner who appears to love being a dad.

This is so accurate.  I'd only add that Ben and Jessa consistently allude to their respect for each other in small, subtle ways.  Derick and Jill don't, other than meaningless, effusive platitudes like "Thanks to my AWESOME HUBBY!" Or "One of my 3 favorite people!" (with a pic of Jill).

Just imagine Derick retweeting a message about the Biblical value of women as helpmeets, a la Ben.  Would NEVER happen.  Derick has made it clear that he is the most important, smartest person in the Dillard household.  Jill is at best a pleasant afterthought.

[marmalade]

Derelict already requires a "much needed" date night. If he's like this after just one week of classes, imagine him around finals. 

 

[LawsonBatesEgo]

9 hours ago, finnlassie said:

Shit, is he gonna have any family time?

Something tells me not having time to be around Muffin and the boys is the point.....

[artdecades]

I saw the chopsticks on Jillys plate and I was pleasantly surprised...and then I saw the fork. Well, at least she tried.

[Sky with diamonds]

1 hour ago, marmalade said:

Derelict already requires a "much needed" date night. If he's like this after just one week of classes, imagine him around finals. 

 

After a week?! Hate to see how he will be six months from now.

[apiscue]

I think derick is the kind of person who needs to be part of something to feel important and needs everyone to know.

First he was pistol pete, then a cross church missionary and now a law student and every time he only wears clothes with the names and symbols of what he does.

The next round: Family Research Council again.