Maxwell 22: Maxhell University Coursework

[Snarkangel Gabriel]

“None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free.”

i think Goethe has it spot on in relation to Sarah.  So sad.

[dripcurl]

7 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

 

Side note unrelated: Chris's wedding photography site is a guilty pleasure of mine, and I see text when I mouse over the photos that link to the individual wedding shoots he did, but then I can't read the whole blurb! I need context for his weird-ass photos! 

Wow that site was a trip. It seemed like satire at first: “Beautiful, yet modest. Joyful, yet alcohol free. Fun, but without dancing.” Wtf.

[freethemall]

How does she not realize that independence and enjoying your family are not mutually exclusive?

This post summarized in 2 words: Stockholm Syndrome.

[Eternalbluepearl]

Not everyone WANTS to live with their parents as an adult. There are many different types of family dynamics out there. Does Sarah know that term? I can't with these people. They are privileged and obsessed with themselves.  

[IReallyAmHopewell]

17 minutes ago, nastyhobbitses said:

Side note unrelated: Chris's wedding photography site is a guilty pleasure of mine, and I see text when I mouse over the photos that link to the individual wedding shoots he did, but then I can't read the whole blurb! I need context for his weird-ass photos! 

Lordy! His work is truly AWFUL. I've really just seen the family ones. Everyone is just alike. Bizarre angels, bad lighting, and poses re-used over and over. Come up with something more original than the Pinterest-ed to death things like the dress hanging on an old barn door why don't you! But I was surprised to get a mixed-race couple in there! Sad that he has to go all over the country for this--he surely can't be paid enough for that even if the couple gives him a plane ticket and a couch to sleep on somewhere. And, does he take the family with him on this junkets? Otherwise what happened to the work at something that lets you be with your family rule? I hope this is a "hobby"?? While I will give him higher marks for photography than I'd ever give poor Sarah for writing, it's still on par with a 14-year-old starting high school photography class.

[theologygeek]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

She actually has quite a sweet deal if Steve and Teri aren't charging her for rent, food, and utilities, and she has built in housekeepers and cooks in Anna and Mary.

Although I think her father brainwashed her and she is also afraid of her own shadow, the above can't be discounted either.  If my sons go through a breakup, they end up back here and not out on their own.  They have it good here.  No rent, utilities, free food, etc  My daughter has a good job in another state and is on her own.  But my sons gravitate back to me.  I feel bad for complaining because I love all my children dearly, and my sons have jobs and also do a lot around the house.  But it would be nice to bring a man home.  I can't do that because I feel funny doing that with my kids in the house.  They have girls in their rooms, but I'm not comfortable with a man in my room knowing that they are also here. 

[anjulibai]

29 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

Although I think her father brainwashed her and she is also afraid of her own shadow, the above can't be discounted either.  If my sons go through a breakup, they end up back here and not out on their own.  They have it good here.  No rent, utilities, free food, etc  My daughter has a good job in another state and is on her own.  But my sons gravitate back to me.  I feel bad for complaining because I love all my children dearly, and my sons have jobs and also do a lot around the house.  But it would be nice to bring a man home.  I can't do that because I feel funny doing that with my kids in the house.  They have girls in their rooms, but I'm not comfortable with a man in my room knowing that they are also here. 

Tell them to get their own apartment, my friend. Don't stop your life for them. They need to learn to be on their own. 

[theologygeek]

6 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Tell them to get their own apartment, my friend. Don't stop your life for them. They need to learn to be on their own. 

I brought this up once in rl, and got yelled at by a woman who lost two of her sons and said that I should feel blessed and grateful that my sons are still here.  She said she would give anything to have what I have.  Now I have it stuck in my head that I sound a like a terrible person for even bringing it up. 

[anjulibai]

1 minute ago, theologygeek said:

I brought this up once in rl, and got yelled at by a woman who lost two of her sons and said that I should feel blessed and grateful that my sons are still here.  She said she would give anything to have what I have.  Now I have it stuck in my head that I sound a like a terrible person for even bringing it up. 

Yeah, that's ridiculous. You can't stop your life because of what might happen or because someone had something bad happen to them. 

You are definitely not a bad person, at all. 

[theologygeek]

10 minutes ago, anjulibai said:

Yeah, that's ridiculous. You can't stop your life because of what might happen or because someone had something bad happen to them. 

You are definitely not a bad person, at all. 

The rational side of me knows that you're right.  But I have a deep fear.  I almost lost my oldest once and it was worse than anything I ever went through in my life.  He's fine now but it was a horrible thing for a mother to go through.  I feel like it was a miracle and now I am scared to express my feelings.  Fear is a crazy thing.  It runs deep and is hard to shake.   So when someone brings up losing a child, it makes the fear worse. 

 

[socalrules]

I think something happened to make Sarah write that post. Maybe someone she respects made a negative comment to her referencing her lifestyle. Very passive aggressive. I do love how she admits she won’t allow any comments not in full agreement.

I think Sarah is of the belief that being independent means you don’t need or want anything to do with your family. Some of the most independent people are happily super close to their families. I never understood not wanting your child to be independent. I would worry my child would not be able to take care of themselves if something happened to me. I also think those independent children may be better able to make decisions when their parents are unable to take care of themselves, rather than children never raised to think or make decisions for themselves. 

As to the people who commented to Sarah about the homeschooling mom with independent kids, did she really state the oldest was 21, they were all single adults and on their own? So basically what wasn’t said is that they are all in college. Probably went right over Sarah’s head. 

[SPHASH]

Not only is Poor Sarah stuck at home she has to share a room with her sisters!  Will she get Forgotten Jesse's room after he marries?  Doubt it.

[BullyJBG]

20 minutes ago, SPHASH said:

Not only is Poor Sarah stuck at home she has to share a room with her sisters!  Will she get Forgotten Jesse's room after he marries?  Doubt it.

I thought I read somewhere that Sarah originally had her own room(well, considering the big gap between Sarah and Anna, obviously) but when she was an adult or close to it , she saw how much fun Anna and Mary had sharing and wanted to join them. And the brothers had recently done the same.

[theologygeek]

28 minutes ago, socalrules said:

 I never understood not wanting your child to be independent. I would worry my child would not be able to take care of themselves if something happened to me.

I have a dear friend who is plagued with this worry all the time.  Sometimes she obsesses it to the point where it makes her sick.  She has a whole troupe over there at her house including kids, a brother, and a grandson.  I thought my house had a revolving door, but hers is worse.  But what you said is what she says is her number one worry in life. 

[crawfishgirl]

I think that Sarah truly believes what she wrote.  Steve and Teri have brainwashed her and made her terrified of the outside world.  And by outside world, I mean anything more than a block away from her house.  I have such sympathy for her, especially since she is probably incapable of living on her own when her parents die - I can't see her making her own adult decisions.

My kids are teenagers, and right now, they are counting the seconds until they can leave home (and by 'leave home', I mean when they can go to college and allow me to pay for it).  They are irritated with me because I am giving them a few daily chores over the summer (such horrible things as unloading the dishwasher and sweeping).  My youngest is a smart-ass middle-schooler who thinks that she knows it all - middle school age is the worst, since the beginning of puberty is in full swing.  Anyway, we are trying to rear them to be educated and to be able to think on their own, because otherwise we have failed as parents.  And I would never throw my kids out at age eighteen as Sarah seems to think people do.  They will always have a home here, but I would never hold them mentally hostage.

[bertnee]

Why do the Maxwells believe that if you're not best friends with your siblings and living at home until you marry, then you must be cold and hate your family? This reminds me of the post where Sarah said something like "Siblings who like each other - wow imagine that!" [emoji58] I'd say most adults don't need to be up their parents/siblings butts in order to have a good relationship.

[Lisafer]

Just read the blog post. She really does sound snippy! I would guess somebody, somewhere, touched a nerve by asking her a valid question.

[Eternalbluepearl]

30 minutes ago, bertnee said:

Why do the Maxwells believe that if you're not best friends with your siblings and living at home until you marry, then you must be cold and hate your family?

Steve and Teri seem to have some strange and strong opinions that they have drilled into their kids. The very very small segment of the population that agrees with them is all the kidults at home are exposed to it seems. It's creepy beyond words. I always wonder if someone raised like Sarah would even know if she was being treated badly. 

[Captain Obvious]

I just think Sarah would view a woman living alone as being as sad as we view a 36-year-old living at home.

In her world, adults (both male and female) leave home when they get married. Perhaps she makes some allowances for some leaving temporarily for approved Christian colleges or mission work, but that’s just temporary. She probably doesn’t know any adults that she considers Maxwell Approved Christians who have permanently moved out before marriage.

I have no doubt that Sarah would see a woman moving out as trying to impersonate married life without being married. It would be like that woman I encountered on a wedding board once who, on the breakdown of her relationship, decided to proceed with the wedding and marry herself. It would be like a public acknowledgement of her failure - and Lord knows, neither Steve nor Sarah will ever acknowledge her singleness as a failure. 

[RavenclawPajamas]

On 7/13/2018 at 8:19 AM, LilMissMetaphor said:

Sarah, you loon, what even IS this? Now mornings are evil? Is there a statistically higher chance of something fun happening in the morning that makes it worthy of avoiding? 

That's so odd tbh.  I find staying in in the morning is what makes it harder to concentrate.

Also, loons are great!

On 7/13/2018 at 3:21 PM, Palimpsest said:

The only one of Sarah's books I staggered through was Summer with the Moodys.  It didn't have much of a plot.  It was more a series of vignettes that didn't make sense as a book.  

To be fair, a lot of middle-grade books are like that.  The American Girl books were series of vignettes, iirc, though I think they did have overarching plots too.

[RavenclawPajamas]

On 7/14/2018 at 8:23 PM, mango_fandango said:

As some of you may know, I enjoy playing Sims 4, and I just downloaded Seasons. It comes with certain holidays, such as Love Day, HarvestFest and WinterFest. Each holiday comes with various traditions. You can also create your own holiday, and add your own traditions.

Omg this is adorable.  I would have assumed that it only included Christian holidays, I'm glad it allows for more diversity than that.  I wish I could get Sims 4 but I know if I did I'd let it consume all my time.

[dripcurl]

Well, this post answered my question from last week - the Kidults are allowed to have Steve-sized tantrums!

[usedbicycle]

9 hours ago, Anonymousguest said:

And honestly I'm looking forward to having an empty nest someday. There will be no tears from me, LMAO. 

Most of my friends with grown children are excited about this next phase in their life! No matter how hard we try, we all kind of lose ourselves in parenthood and it's nice to know that a day will come when I will have more time to spend on myself.

I think Steve and Teri would HATE being empty nesters because their whole identity revolves around being parents. Pure speculation, but I don't think their mariage would do well in a house by themselves. 

[nastyhobbitses]

4 minutes ago, usedbicycle said:

I think the Maxwells would HATE being empty nesters because their whole identity is based on being parents. Pure speculation but I don't event their mariage would do well in a house by themselves. 

I get the same vibe. They have no identity outside of advertising how they control their children, and I get the feeling that their marriage wouldn't do well without the kidults in the house because:

1. Teri is barely functional, and while the Maxwell men seem slightly more willing than some other fundie men to actually contribute to housework, Steve still thinks of himself as a king and wouldn't like losing servants who actually keep the house running

2. Without kidults to browbeat and control, Steve will turn most of his dictatorial efforts to Teri

[mango_fandango]

@RavenclawPajamas two of the traditions are “Light Menorah” and “Light Kinara”. Sims doesn’t involve religion so all the holidays are secular. Aside from the pre-planned ones, you get random ones such as Lottery Day and Neighbourhood Brawl. Yep. You read that right. From what I’ve seen online, you basically need to lock all your doors otherwise neighbours will show up at your house ready for a fight. The Sims can be very, VERY weird sometimes.