Lori Alexander 50: Making an Idol of Herself

[Sarah92]

One of the first pieces I read from Lori was on the subject of sex. I think she said that men wouldn't get married if it wasn't for hormones and the ability to have sex. It was vile. Basically, if a wife couldn't offer sex the husband they wouldn't stick around. It reminded me of the guy who was a "pastor" of the church my family was essentially ran out of that who said "if it wasn't for the fact that I was a Christian I probably would have left my wife and kids". He said this in front of his wife and kids. I'm supremely glad I'm not there anymore although I do sometimes miss it.

My sister recently told me that the "pastor" wanted to paint over a mural I'd done there. Which ticks me off because it was commissioned by the previous youth pastor and I spent two weeks of hand painting and doing fractions and measuring to get it precise. She's heard from a youth that still goes there who actually protested because he wanted to remember us. If only he knew. 

Regardless, if a man needs sex to stay in a marriage and not have an affair he has problems. Even as a Christian I'd say that if God is the only thing keeping you there besides idk being an honorable, decent man then you also have problems. Of course the guy is a paranoid narcissistic of the finest order and his wife and kids would probably be happier without him. 

[feministxtian]

As a wife and mother of sons, I'm glad none of them subscribe to this idiocy. Unfortunately my X did. But he was a pig anyway. 

We've had LOOOOOOOOONG dry spells here. He was sick for years and between being sick and the meds he was on, things didn't work quite right and he was usually too sick anyway. I don't have much of a sex drive due to the past (I know, baggage and I should "get over it"). It doesn't fucking matter. Sex has never been the glue that holds us together. Its just not the end all or be all of our relationship. 

These people confuse intimacy with sex. They're not the same thing. You can have intimacy without sex and sex without intimacy. They have the latter. Intimacy is a WHOLE different animal. They have no clue what they're missing. 

[Sarah92]

45 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

These people confuse intimacy with sex. They're not the same thing. You can have intimacy without sex and sex without intimacy. They have the latter. Intimacy is a WHOLE different animal. They have no clue what they're missing. 

Yesss all the time. I've done online dating and if you read guys profiles it's often "I enjoy sports, outdoors, and working out". That it. Which don't get me wrong many women enjoy these things but mostly it sounds like they're lonely for another guy friend. Or they endlessly hunt for more sex to the point where they just harass women online. Gosh the stuff my sisters has gotten; of course she's also been hit on by guys who she knows are married. She always asks how the wife and kids are before blocking them. 

 Sex isn't bad but it doesn't fill the holes in our hearts. When we think sex means intimacy it leads to a host of problems. Unfortunately, I think many men are taught that sex is the only way that can feel truly close to women. 

[feministxtian]

6 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Sex isn't bad but it doesn't fill the holes in our hearts. When we think sex means intimacy it leads to a host of problems. Unfortunately, I think many men are taught that sex is the only way that can feel truly close to women. 

I love watching my sons with their SOs. #2 son went camping with his SO last week. Just the two of them on the CA coast for a few days. THAT is intimacy. I'm sure they probably made like rabbits, but they're young. #1 son travels a lot with his job (like international travel). When he comes home, he pretty much devotes all his time to his wife. They go out, they go on day trips, they enjoy each other's company. They're tentatively planning to have a baby next year so I'm sure they're "practicing" now. However, both of them seem to have relationships built on something more than just bumping uglies. My daughter and her fiance are much the same way. None of them think sex is the end all/be all of a relationship. 

I know both my sons are still "mama's boys" in many ways. I've said it before that I swear neither one of them would go to the bathroom w/o asking my advice. They text or msg me all the time about the most innocuous stuff. I guess I raised those two right...

Mr. Xtian and I are pretty much 2 halves of the same person anymore. 

[Alisamer]

Genetics are so strange. I have a photo somewhere of my mom and one of her many cousins sitting side by side in the same position, they have similar body types and were even wearing similar clothes, it was almost creepy, and they did that many times without realizing it. People often ask my sisters and I if we are triplets (we aren't) or we get "twins?!?" If just two of us are out together. People mistake us for each other sometimes. And I don't see it at all! My youngest sister has lighter hair and a rounder face and is the shortest, my middle sister is the only one of us with warm undertones in her skin and is taller, and I am very cool toned with lighter eyes and darker hair. Personality wise the other two take very much after our mother, while everyone says I remind them much more of our father. It's easier now that part of my hair is pink, but still people have a really hard time telling us apart. 

My cousins never had that problem, however. The son was pale, blonde, blue eyed until his hair darkened just a little in high school.  The daughter? Very dark hair, olive skin that tans easily, dark brown eyes. She played Josefina a couple times at the American Girl fashion show when no Hispanic girls tried out for the part! They look nothing alike, and also look nothing like the rest of the cousins. My youngest cousin however looks exactly like her mother, especially in body shape and the way they walk. 

Most people take years to realize my mom and her middle sister are related, they look so little alike. 

[refugee]

On 7/3/2018 at 7:53 AM, Koala said:

Yeah, a week here, and he would go home a reformed young man.  I would shut his show down (and never have to raise a hand or my voice to do it).  Unless he has special needs not mentioned above, then I blame his parents.  In fact, this screams piss poor parenting.

That said, I maintain that Lori should mind her own business, as she's certainly in no position to be doling out parenting advice.

Agree.  I can't believe many parents would be willing to put up with that kind of nonsense.

Honestly curious—how would you “shut his show down”?

I don’t deal much with kids. 

[PennySycamore]

My daughter noticed at a family reunion of my mom's side of the family that many of our family on that side have the same color of blue eyes.  After I had my stroke, my physical therapist had the same color of eyes and I thought I recognized her name.  She is the granddaughter of one of my aunts and I'd not seen her in at least 30 years.  Anyway, I don't think I'd have recognized my second cousin if had not been for her eyes.

[FeministShrew]

Pretty much everyone in my mom's family looks alike. I spotted a guy at a restaurant a few years ago & said "You're a (mom's maiden name here) aren't you? He looked shocked, lol, and said "It depends  on which one you're looking for." Turns out he's my first cousin's son, only a couple of years younger than me because my mom was around 20 years younger than her brother, his grandfather. Almost everyone in that family has similar facial features and coloring, including my mom's aunts and uncles.  The older I get, the more I see my mom & my aunts every time I look in the mirror. 
One of my friends was born up North & lives in Asheville, NC, & is a dead ringer for one of my mom's sisters. We joke that my grandpa or one of his brothers must have made a secret trip up North about 60 years ago.

 

[klein_roeschen]

My mother was small and overweight, my father tall and skinny, I'm tall and overweight. Facial fetures are also almost all of my mother, only the eyes are my father. My brother on the other hand is almost exactly my father, tall, skinny and has the gastly nose, that is prominent in my father's family. But my voice is clearly from my father's side of the family.

[Frumper]

I was practically identical with one of my cousins when we were kids.  I can remember sitting around looking at pictures in my grandmother's photo album and our own mothers couldn't tell which kid was in the picture.  But as adults we look nothing alike.  We have the same general coloring but we don't even look related.  I find that so odd - you'd think kids who looked that much alike would at least resemble each other as adults.  Genetics are weird.

[Lgirlrocks]

My great grandma, on my mothers side, worked during the depression. Her and my great grandpa sold jeans and other things to get by. They were lucky to never have been poor during that time. She also made all of her kids clothes. She had to, obviously, work both inside and outside of the home. My grandma dropped out of school in the eighth grade tobhelp her family. She said that they were well off but she wanted to help them anyways. She worked from the eighth grade, until she couldn’t anymore. My mom and her sisters were expected to have the table set and chores done when Mom and dad got home from work. To bad Lori will never grasp this. I guess it wouldn’t matter to her anyways because my moms family is Jewish. 

Not everyone has the luxury of staying at home. Not everyone who had that luxury wants to stay home. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. 

[Briefly]

I am redheaded, which mostly comes from my father's Viking Irish ancestry but there are some redheads in my mom[s family.  My mother was 5'7" if she stretched.  I'm 5'9" and I'm actually the shortest of the three of us.  If you just look at me, you see my dad's side of the family including the tallness.  But if it's a black & white picture, I look a great deal like my mother.  She had jet black hair when she was young but then it went white (not grey, actual white) at a fairly young age.  Mr. Briefly gets his red hair from his mom's side.  Both his mom's and dad's families are on the shorter side, but he and his siblings are all tall.  Our daughter takes after my mom's side in terms of height - she's not much over 5' but she is very redheaded!  She looks just like Mr. Briefly's mom. Mr. Briefly looks exactly like his dad, just a younger version and much taller. Genetics can be odd. Most of my cousins are on my mom's side.  We have some features in common, but we don't necessarily look like we are related at all.  Most of our siblings and their children are tall, even though nearly all the parents are not, except for my dad and his dad was well over 6'.  But my dad's mom was called Little Grandma for a reason, she was tiny.

[lilwriter85]

3 hours ago, Lgirlrocks said:

My great grandma, on my mothers side, worked during the depression. Her and my great grandpa sold jeans and other things to get by. They were lucky to never have been poor during that time. She also made all of her kids clothes. She had to, obviously, work both inside and outside of the home. My grandma dropped out of school in the eighth grade tobhelp her family. She said that they were well off but she wanted to help them anyways. She worked from the eighth grade, until she couldn’t anymore. My mom and her sisters were expected to have the table set and chores done when Mom and dad got home from work. To bad Lori will never grasp this. I guess it wouldn’t matter to her anyways because my moms family is Jewish. 

Not everyone has the luxury of staying at home. Not everyone who had that luxury wants to stay home. That doesn’t make you a bad parent. 

I bet Lori has never once asked her parents what life was like for their families during the Depression. If Lori had grandparents around when she was growing up, she probably never asked about how they grew up.  

She already has the habit of romanticizing past eras. I remember the dumb ass post where she claimed that young women weren't being raped or murdered in the US during the WWII era. Then another one where she described the 50s as being ideal because of stay at home moms and blah blah. 

Lori had the luxury of staying at home and I  suspect Ken may have asked Lori's dad for financial help when she got pregnant with the second child even though he wanted her to work.  She will never understand not everyone can or want to stay at home. Of course, she reads tons of stories from her fangirls about how they cut a lot of corners or the husband works 2 or 3 jobs so they can be SAHMs. She probably doesn't think that the fangirls might be miserable at times. 

A few months back, someone posted on FB that one of the reasons they worked so they could have pensions or retirement money when they are old. Some working moms who I know list that as one of the reasons they work.  Now, it could be possible that some of Lori's fangirls are married to men who will have very secure or high retirement funds and pensions combined with possible SS payments. Some fangirls are going to have money issues when they are old and churches aren't going to be able to help with everything.  Lori is probably banking on her kids taking care of her financially if Ken dies before her. There is always a chance that her kids could turn on her or son-in-laws or daughter-in-laws will cause drama if they have to completely support a MIL.

[Koala]

6 hours ago, refugee said:

Honestly curious—how would you “shut his show down”?

I don’t deal much with kids. 

It would depend on the situation.  My kids are teenagers now, and they would have never dreamed of pulling a stunt like that young man pulled (dog cussing mom and dad in the car).  

If I were in their shoes, I would become 100% dedicated to remaining calm and unflappable during his "episodes". 

For the car situation-

When my kids were young (I believe they said that this particular child was 7), they always had "go-bags" for long car trips.  Go-bags were filled with things we typically didn't use during car trips, so it made them seem more special/exciting when we did break them out.  They were filled with things like I-pads, new books, I-pods, handheld game systems, etc.  Just whatever seemed fun and special at the time.

They never had any issues traveling, and as I said above, it wouldn't have even crossed their minds to curse their father or me, because they weren't raised in a barn.  They were taught to be kind from the time they were tiny, and it would have never occurred to them that they could dictate whether or not we went on vacation/went to visit family.

But back to "shutting his show down".  The minute he began his extra-large tantrum, I'd have immediately turned off the radio, and removed his go-bag (or whatever he had to entertain himself during the trip).  I would have promptly informed him that this was not how we behaved, and then I would have driven the rest of the trip in silence.  

For a smaller tantrum, I would have given him back his go-bag the minute he calmed down and started talking nicely, but for cussing mom and dad?  Yeah, not happening.  It would have been a long, quiet trip.  If he had continued ranting, I'd have remained completely calm and unfazed.  (I think that's key- they have to see that the tantrum does not get results- nice behavior gets results).

I would also look for times of good behavior to praise him, and talk to him about he could cope during times he felt like losing it.

This kid is simply doing what he knows will make mom and dad react.  If he doesn't want to go somewhere, he throws a tantrum, and then mom and dad vow to never go again, lest he shut their show down.  That reinforces his behavior.  Imo, they need to switch gears and STOP reacting.  

Anyway, it sounds pretty simple, but I absolutely believe it would work.

[louisa05]

28 minutes ago, Koala said:

It would depend on the situation.  My kids are teenagers now, and they would have never dreamed of pulling a stunt like that young man pulled (dog cussing mom and dad in the car).  

If I were in their shoes, I would become 100% dedicated to remaining calm and unflappable during his "episodes". 

For the car situation-

When my kids were young (I believe they said that this particular child was 7), they always had "go-bags" for long car trips.  Go-bags were filled with things we typically didn't use during car trips, so it made them seem more special/exciting when we did break them out.  They were filled with things like I-pads, new books, I-pods, handheld game systems, etc.  Just whatever seemed fun and special at the time.

They never had any issues traveling, and as I said above, it wouldn't have even crossed their minds to curse their father or me, because they weren't raised in a barn.  They were taught to be kind from the time they were tiny, and it would have never occurred to them that they could dictate whether or not we went on vacation/went to visit family.

But back to "shutting his show down".  The minute he began his extra-large tantrum, I'd have immediately turned off the radio, and removed his go-bag (or whatever he had to entertain himself during the trip).  I would have promptly informed him that this was not how we behaved, and then I would have driven the rest of the trip in silence.  

For a smaller tantrum, I would have given him back his go-bag the minute he calmed down and started talking nicely, but for cussing mom and dad?  Yeah, not happening.  It would have been a long, quiet trip.  If he had continued ranting, I'd have remained completely calm and unfazed.  (I think that's key- they have to see that the tantrum does not get results- nice behavior gets results).

I would also look for times of good behavior to praise him, and talk to him about he could cope during times he felt like losing it.

This kid is simply doing what he knows will make mom and dad react.  If he doesn't want to go somewhere, he throws a tantrum, and then mom and dad vow to never go again, lest he shut their show down.  That reinforces his behavior.  Imo, they need to switch gears and STOP reacting.  

Anyway, it sounds pretty simple, but I absolutely believe it would work.

There is absolutely a lot of negative reinforcement going on in that household. I've seen it a thousand times. And that incident in the car is an example as they reinforced the behavior by assuring him that he would not have to come again until he decided they could. The other thing that happens sometimes is that rather than a tantrum when he doesn't get his way, he moans and whines until they give in. He asks for something (usually a snack of some sort or to stay up late when he does this), they say no, he keeps asking over and over in an increasingly whining voice until they give up and give it to him. My nephew used to try that with me. He would either get completely ignored after the first time or told to go to his room until he could do something besides beg for whatever. 

And the worst one with this kid is the bribery. Grandma lived with them for awhile and she started this when he was about six. He doesn't want to do something and throws a tantrum because of it, so she started paying him to not throw the tantrum. Back then it was like a quarter. But we're guessing the prices have increased in the last five years. We've even seen them pay him to smile for photos. It cost them $2 at a minor league baseball game when he was 9. The mother puts all these pictures of him at whatever event with sentimental captions about how they did whatever and "made memories" and how much he loved it...Every time I'm thinking, how much did that cost her? 

[feministxtian]

8 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

e asks for something (usually a snack of some sort or to stay up late when he does this), they say no, he keeps asking over and over in an increasingly whining voice until they give up and give it to him.

Oh, my kids tried this. They got this answer "what makes you think I've changed my mind?"

Car trips: When my bunch was small, I'd drive from BFE Indiana to my parents' in VA every summer (just about 800 miles one way). I drove alone with them. I always broke the trips into 3-4 hour stretches, we'd pull over, go potty, have a snack, run around and then we'd go on down the road. For tantrums, I'd pull off the road and we'd sit. They'd get told that for every minute we sat there, was one more minute it would take to get to Gma's. It worked. 

Little dude would find himself sitting in the car waiting until he chilled out to go anywhere. He'd learn right quick I'm bigger, badder and meaner than he ever dreamed of being. 

[MrsFoxx]

On 6/26/2018 at 4:22 PM, jjmennonite said:

I was spanked a lot because I was mouthy. I was also likely suffering from extreme anxiety and possibly ADHD. I raised my child without spanking, although I admit I hit her twice. I was given a copy of a Dobson - Focus on the Family book by a colleague: The Strong Willed Child. It pretty much said to hit harder and I realized that wouldn’t work for her.

^This. Me, too, lady. 

[PennySycamore]

@MrsFoxx, is it The Strong Willed Child which recounts the time when "Dr" Dobson terrorized his dachshund Siggie for wanting to sleep on the toilet seat cover.  It was a chilly night and the dog didn't want to sleep on those cold tiles of the floor.  Dobson was't having it and he and Siggie got into a battle or wills.  Dobson seemed to take pleasure in the beating that he gave that dog.  That sounds like he's a sadist to me.

I

[EowynW]

10 minutes ago, PennySycamore said:

@MrsFoxx, is it The Strong Willed Child which recounts the time when "Dr" Dobson terrorized his dachshund Siggie for wanting to sleep on the toilet seat cover.  It was a chilly night and the dog didn't want to sleep on those cold tiles of the floor.  Dobson was't having it and he and Siggie got into a battle or wills.  Dobson seemed to take pleasure in the beating that he gave that dog.  That sounds like he's a sadist to me.

I

That story always makes me so uncomfortable. As a human being and as a dog trainer. Just give the dog his own bed and block access to the bathroom. Or crate it for the night with a bed. End of story. Peaceful resolution. 

 

W Kitty puts herself to bed at night on the bathroom rug all the time. 

[quiversR4hunting]

So Lori was soliciting her book on July 3 at 5pmish.  Interesting since I created a post about the reviews about 2 pm on Tuesday the 3rd....

I have some screenshots.

Spoiler

 

[Meeka]

1 hour ago, PennySycamore said:

The Strong Willed Child which recounts the time when "Dr" Dobson terrorized his dachshund Siggie for wanting to sleep on the toilet seat cover

I just read this encounter on this website

 http://www.jessicamenn.com/journals/dobson/illustrations.htm

I can honestly say that I am shocked that he beat the little dog with a belt because the dog wouldn't get off the toilet seat. That's outrageous! I have a Rhodesian Ridgeback and is the most wonderful dog and can't imagine ever treating her so horribly. That man should have all animals taken away from him and be banned from ever owning one. This is my girl:

 

[Lgirlrocks]

1 hour ago, Meeka said:

I just read this encounter on this website

 http://www.jessicamenn.com/journals/dobson/illustrations.htm

I can honestly say that I am shocked that he beat the little dog with a belt because the dog wouldn't get off the toilet seat. That's outrageous! I have a Rhodesian Ridgeback and is the most wonderful dog and can't imagine ever treating her so horribly. That man should have all animals taken away from him and be banned from ever owning one. This is my girl:

 

He beat his dog with a belt? Wtf? Does he not understand that dogs don’t understand on the same level as humans? A full grown dog had the mentality of a toddler. They don’t understand why not. 

[SuperNova]

So Lori is whining on Insta about how she threw her back out. She posted a picture of a bag of corn (not organic) because that's what she uses as an ice pack. She says it works the best so "buy lots of bags of it!". Why doesn't she use a gel ice pack like the rest of us? It conforms to the area you put it on and you're not wasting food.

Lori doesn't give a shit about anyone but Lori. So many of her fan girls are struggling with food insecurity and this bitch is buying lots of bags of corn just to put on her back. I guarantee she has no intention of eating frozen non-organic corn. What's worse is that she's probably chucking them once they defrost, otherwise why would she need lots of bags? 

[klein_roeschen]

3 hours ago, PennySycamore said:

@MrsFoxx, is it The Strong Willed Child which recounts the time when "Dr" Dobson terrorized his dachshund Siggie for wanting to sleep on the toilet seat cover.  It was a chilly night and the dog didn't want to sleep on those cold tiles of the floor.  Dobson was't having it and he and Siggie got into a battle or wills.  Dobson seemed to take pleasure in the beating that he gave that dog.  That sounds like he's a sadist to me.

I

I'm a dog person right to the core and I get really angry hearing such stories. Would it be so much of a pain to put an old blanket or towel on the floor for a dog? And than beating mercylessly that poor creature? A dackel is less than 20 pounts of dog, yeah really brave douchebag. But is it the same guy and dog who transported the kennel on the roof of the car with the dog in it? And the dog made all over himself out of sheer panic and got a beating also for this?

My former dog slept from her first day to the last in my bed, most of the time even under the blanket. She liked it cozy and be near mommy in the night and she liked to cuddle before sleeping. She was I nice heatsource in winter. Puppy is also aloud to sleep in my bed, but prefers to sleep under it on the cool floor, since we had real warm weather her for the last 2 months. I would never beat my dog for having a warm place to sleep, but I would also never ever beat my dog for other reasons.

16 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

So Lori is whining on Insta about how she threw her back out. She posted a picture of a bag of corn (not organic) because that's what she uses as an ice pack. She says it works the best so "buy lots of bags of it!". Why doesn't she use a gel ice pack like the rest of us? It conforms to the area you put it on and you're not wasting food.

Lori doesn't give a shit about anyone but Lori. So many of her fan girls are struggling with food insecurity and this bitch is buying lots of bags of corn just to put on her back. I guarantee she has no intention of eating frozen non-organic corn. What's worse is that she's probably chucking them once they defrost, otherwise why would she need lots of bags? 

I hate wasting food. It's wasting money I can use better and wasting resources. And I hate people who are throwing their wealth in other peoples faces that way. Oh, and by the way, a back pain is most likely a pulled muscle or a pinched nerve and putting an ice pack there is going to make it worse. In that case you should put a heating pad there. And how did she got it? Was her last sourdough einkorn bread to heavy and she got a lumbago?

[delphinium65]

30 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

So Lori is whining on Insta about how she threw her back out. She posted a picture of a bag of corn (not organic) because that's what she uses as an ice pack. She says it works the best so "buy lots of bags of it!". Why doesn't she use a gel ice pack like the rest of us? It conforms to the area you put it on and you're not wasting food.

Lori doesn't give a shit about anyone but Lori. So many of her fan girls are struggling with food insecurity and this bitch is buying lots of bags of corn just to put on her back. I guarantee she has no intention of eating frozen non-organic corn. What's worse is that she's probably chucking them once they defrost, otherwise why would she need lots of bags? 

The corn or peas as ice pack actually occurred to me recently-minor knee surgery, no biggie, but I knew it was going to be uncomfortable postop-but I bought a few of those gel ice packs because I knew there was no way we were going to use that many veggies!  That kind of thing can be useful temporarily for an acute injury when you don't have any actual ice packs, but happen to have frozen veggies.  The way Lori seems to be using them?  Extremely wasteful.  And she has the gall to tell her fangirls to be frugal??!