Lori Alexander 50: Making an Idol of Herself

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Our dogs always had Christmas stockings with dog treats   Mr Dress would give me birthday cards from the dogs signed with paw prints. Yes, we are those people too.

[PennySycamore]

@Koala, Happy Birthday to Koala-puppy!!

My daughter and her husband used to always give their German shepherds birthday parties.  This was pre-kids and the birthday dog's friends -both canine and human- were invited.  My daughter shared a FB post about the dogs' parties about a month ago.  One of the Sheps shared his birthday with their wedding anniversary.  The Steps have all gone to the Rainbow Bridge now.

ETA: I sorta hate to mention this to our New England FJites, but it was only 85 at the most here in upcountry SC and it was cloudy, too.

[Imrlgoddess]

Her anniversary viral post? I've seen the dual mock one way more this time around, it actually got shared & landed in my newsfeed! 

Spoiler

 

[Sarah92]

Wait do some people not have their toddlers at the table with them when having dinner? Is that what Lori's son was doing or how old was this baby? I've never seen a parent not take a baby/ toddler to the table during dinner unless the kid was sleeping.

I understand having difficulty getting kids to eat.  My nieces were initially very resistant to trying 90% of our foods when they lived with us. They simply hadn't been exposed to it because their parents were too busy being lazy assholes or getting into trouble. Hence why they lived with us. Anyways it took some coaxing and bribery (cheese sticks was valuable currency during that time) but we did it. But I highly doubt Lori's son was in the situation of a child not eating four days straight as we were. What he did was unacceptable and unnecessary. A baby not feeling a meal? Big deal. Try having a kid afraid of waffles. 

But update on my nieces who are visiting for a month or so... Their parents did the best thing they could have done and divorced each other. The eldest who's 8 looooves science. Their both little artists (it runs in their blood from my dad's side of the family) . Already told my niece about medical and science drawing for when she grows up. I want her to know she has options. The youngest is all sass. 

[feministxtian]

11 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

Already told my niece about medical and science drawing for when she grows up. I want her to know she has options. The youngest is all sass. 

Lordy, they sound like my grandgirls! The older one is doing the teenaged angst thing (she's 15). The younger one (age 13) is ALL sass. I asked her aunt if she was still sarcastic...the answer was "is water wet?". 

They sound like they'd be a lot of fun to hang out with. 

[IntrinsicallyDisordered]

I need to catch up with this thread but the mention of God bread made me laugh because we used to eat Ezekiel bread.  Of course that is bread according to the God of the Bible (thrilled to see it now comes in cinnamon raisin flavor as well as original Bible flavor) and not the God of the Universe, Lori.

Spoiler

We are also people who celebrate our cat's birthday and adoption day and would throw a party if he liked being around other people.   All of my husband's cousins send Christmas cards that are photos of their kids and I really want to wrassle the cat into a Christmas sweater or at least a santa hat and put him on ours this year. 

[Frumper]

I am not understanding what the kid was doing "wrong" when they chose not to feed her.  Are they wanting the kids to eat separately from the parents or something?  Do they eat together but she's restricted to "kid food" and isn't allowed to eat what the adults have?  I'm legitimately confused.

[Koala]

Thanks for all of the birthday wishes for Koalapuppy 

Today's post is a list of (totally unbiblical) laws Lori would like to bring her readers under:

1)  It's none of Lori (or John Rosemond's) business how much I spend on my child's birthday party, or who's invited.  Same with the gift.  They aren't paying, so their input is 100% unnecessary.

2)  I had no problem teaching my kids excellent manners, WITHOUT cutting back on helping them with their education.  Those two things are not mutually exclusive.  

I can't say I am surprised to see Lori endorsing this, though.  She seems to think being dumb (self imposed ignorance) is a virtue to be admired. 

3)  How other parents discipline their children = Not Lori or John's business, and I doubt any parent on earth cares what they think.

4)  I have no problem with chores for kids.  I do think it's ridiculous to assign regular chores to a three year old.  I also think it's ridiculous to have your kids running the house while you "supervise" (looking at you "Diamond in the Rough").  It's downright crazy to consider household chores an "education" for homeschooled girls (and you know that's exactly what a lot of these fundies are getting up to).

5)  Kids often need cell phones before they can reasonably be expected to pay for them.  Many families don't have landlines anymore, so when the kids are old enough to stay home alone/go to a friends/venture away from mom in the grocery store, they need a cell phone. 

My kids got cell phones at 13.  Until I am sending Lori or John the bill, I don't really care whether they like it or not.  

6)  See 5.

7)  Lori- it's not your business what other people serve their children for dinner.  You raised two children with eating disorders/near eating disorders/body image disorders.  You really need to zip it about this one.  

8)  Lori- whether people let their kids co-sleep is not your business.  You are meddling, and "roaming from house to house".  On that note, you allowed three week olds to cry through the night without being fed or changed.  No one needs your (shitty) advice.

9)  Most adults don't have to decide who's "first".  FAMILY is first.  After that it's broken down by who has the most immediate need.  Quit acting like you're in kindergarten.  You don't have to name a favorite.

10) Stop trying to create laws for other people.  It's cult like.  You're welcome.

[HoneyBunny]

Door County Alert!! Lazy Lori has arrived; no dying mother or new grandchild is going to mess with her plans! And apparently Lori has done herself an injury (or an illness...with this bitch it’s hard to tell) but “at least she can stand up now”.  

So typical of Lori, she says her dad built the cabin 34 years ago. When someone remarked that she didn’t know her dad had built the cabin, Lori corrected herself: no, he had it built. You know how it is...when Lori says she did something, she meant she watched while someone did it to her specifications. Nice work if you can get it. 

[louisa05]

@Koala Not that anything you say is wrong, but we know a couple whose only child makes most of the decisions for the household. He is 11 now but this has been going on since he was 4 or 5 years old. We have been with them on multiple occasions over the years when he has been allowed to veto restaurants, activities and tell them whether they can go out or not. 

I'm sure they are not the only ones. 

Everything you say is accurate, but, unfortunately, there are people who allow their kids to control the family in ways that are unfathomable to those of us with brains and common sense. 

[delphinium65]

I rewrote today's Transformed Wife childcare resolutions, I like them better my way. 

1. We will throw expensive “event parties” if it seems suitable to the child's interests and maturity, or we will keep birthday celebrations simple, as suits the child and/or family finances.  We will not give clothing as a birthday gift unless it's something the child wants, i.e. a special t-shirt, school jacket, etc. 

2. We will spend time helping our children develop good manners, without neglecting their education.  We will work on specific social courtesies as the occasion arises, and most importantly we will model the manners we want our children to adopt. 

3. We will love for our children by teaching them considerate behavior, since that will enable them to get along with other people, including those neighbors. 

4. We will assign chores to our children as appropriate to their age and maturity level, in an effort to teach them that chores may not be fun, but the results are worth it, and leaving messes for someone else to clean up is self-centered, and unacceptable. 

5. When our children ask us for cell phones, we will evaluate the entire situation, including the cost, the benefits, and decide accordingly. 

6. When our children complain that they are the only kids who don’t have cell phones (if that happens) we will explain our reasons, reconsider whether it might indeed be advisable to give them cell phones, but above all make the decision based on what is best for the children, not just convenience to us. 

7. We will make decisions about our children's diet based on their needs, with some flexibility depending on how those needs change as they grow.  

8. We will surely bond with our children, if they climb into our bed in the morning we will either allow them to remain there, or not, as we and they wish, and will be happy that they want to be close to us.  

9. In keeping with number 8, we will work on our marriage (if married), and we will parent our children together.  It doesn't have to be a choice between Daddy's needs and what children need most of the time, and if Daddy can't/won't understand the occasions when it is necessary, then he's not mature enough to be a parent.  The children need not grow up thinking the world revolves around them, and it doesn't revolve around Daddy or Mommy either.

[Alisamer]

21 minutes ago, Koala said:

5)  Kids often need cell phones before they can reasonably be expected to pay for them.  Many families don't have landlines anymore, so when the kids are old enough to stay home alone/go to a friends/venture away from mom in the grocery store, they need a cell phone. 

My kids got cell phones at 13.  Until I am sending Lori or John the bill, I don't really care whether they like it or not.  

I see a lot of hate for kids with phones, but seriously they are often necessary these days! A good friend of mine got her daughter a phone when she was maybe 6 or 7 - it was a simple limited one, with no internet access, and she was only given it when she was away from her mom. And it was absolutely necessary - mom was single at the time, bio dad (who mom had divorced) was legally allowed to take the daughter for weekends, but is a deadbeat and not very good at being a dad or supervising her, and only likes to play at being dad when it looks good for him to do so. No way was she sending her kid to stay a weekend with him without a guaranteed way to contact her.

Now the kid is 10 and has a somewhat better phone, still limited but with some games she is allowed to play sometimes. It's nobody else's business what parents choose to allow for their children.

[Briefly]

23 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

@Koala Not that anything you say is wrong, but we know a couple whose only child makes most of the decisions for the household. He is 11 now but this has been going on since he was 4 or 5 years old. We have been with them on multiple occasions over the years when he has been allowed to veto restaurants, activities and tell them whether they can go out or not. 

I'm sure they are not the only ones. 

Everything you say is accurate, but, unfortunately, there are people who allow their kids to control the family in ways that are unfathomable to those of us with brains and common sense. 

He's going to have a serious problem when he grows up and discovers that the world does not revolve around him!  Especially when it comes to holding a job and being told/expected to do something.

We pretty much always had Briefly daughter at the table with us, although she sometimes ate at different times when I was home with her.  But she was still at the table with us or in her highchair by the table. We took her to restaurants with us, and she was complimented on her manners often - which I appreciated but it is kind of sad that the norm was not good manners!  When the turned 12, she wanted her birthday dinner at Golden Corral because that was the first age she could actually go to the buffet line herself.  I think that meant more to her than just about anything else, that birthday.

[louisa05]

3 minutes ago, Briefly said:

He's going to have a serious problem when he grows up and discovers that the world does not revolve around him!  Especially when it comes to holding a job and being told/expected to do something.

We pretty much always had Briefly daughter at the table with us, although she sometimes ate at different times when I was home with her.  But she was still at the table with us or in her highchair by the table. We took her to restaurants with us, and she was complimented on her manners often - which I appreciated but it is kind of sad that the norm was not good manners!  When the turned 12, she wanted her birthday dinner at Golden Corral because that was the first age she could actually go to the buffet line herself.  I think that meant more to her than just about anything else, that birthday.

He already has serious problems. If they attempt to not give him his own way, all hell breaks loose in that house. We have seen him punching his father before. 

And the parents are just clueless that there is a problem. They live about 7 hours away and the husband still has family in our area. They came back for a family event four years ago when the kid was seven and the husband--laughing like it was funny--told us that it might be a few years before they came back again because the kid didn't like the car trip and spent the last two hours screaming "I hate this fucking car and this fucking trip and you should go fuck yourselves" and the like. 

We were speechless. My paternal family lives four states away and we did the road trip at least once a year when we were kids. If either my brother or I would have behaved that way, it is entirely possible that we would have been left to become wards of whatever state it happened in because dad would have chosen that over actually  murdering us. And these two were laughing about it and decided they wouldn't come back "until he wants to come again". He agreed to let them attend a family reunion last summer but got mad in the middle of it about camping in the large group at a state park so they had to leave and get a hotel with a pool to pacify him. 

 

[Imrlgoddess]

34 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

@Koala Not that anything you say is wrong, but we know a couple whose only child makes most of the decisions for the household. He is 11 now but this has been going on since he was 4 or 5 years old. We have been with them on multiple occasions over the years when he has been allowed to veto restaurants, activities and tell them whether they can go out or not. 

I'm sure they are not the only ones. 

Everything you say is accurate, but, unfortunately, there are people who allow their kids to control the family in ways that are unfathomable to those of us with brains and common sense. 

My best friends oldest daughter did this for years.  They'd allowed her so much leeway that by 9 she truly believed she had a say in all aspects of the household.  Needless to say it was a hard wake up call for both mom & the child.  After some long talks, a few parental moments, they got it worked out.  The clincher was when the daughter picked up her very new born brother after her mother explicitly told her not to.  The intent was harmless but the carelessness was dangerous and the girl got the message loud and clear.

Thankfully I believe those families are not uber common.  I am all for children having chores and what not, but I'm also all for them being allowed to just be children!  Lori is such a damn busy body....

[louisa05]

13 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

 

Thankfully I believe those families are not uber common.  I am all for children having chores and what not, but I'm also all for them being allowed to just be children!  Lori is such a damn busy body....

As a teacher, I'm not sure they are as uncommon as we'd like to think. I've met too many primary kids who announce "I can do whatever I want" with absolute confidence. One attends our parish and based on her behavior in church and her parents' response, my answer to her was almost, "yes, I can tell you can at home, but this is school."

[AuntKrazy]

13 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Ugh, it was 98 degrees here today, 105 with the heat index. Northeasterners are not used to this & frankly we can’t cope. Southerners, this is your time to mock us (like we do when the South gets snow or ice.)

We're in Texas, and I believe today we are supposed to reach 105 (before heat index).  And what are we doing today?  Well, we are having all our windows replaced so our A/C is off.  Thankfully I get to work at the office today instead of at home, horrible, comfort-loving Jezebel-with-a-job that I am.  :-)

Mr. Krazy likes the heat - and he's a professor who is off for the summer, so he actually enjoys being the one at home for the work on the house.  He likes to watch the work crew and ask them questions about what they are doing and why. 

[Koala]

15 minutes ago, louisa05 said:

the kid didn't like the car trip and spent the last two hours screaming "I hate this fucking car and this fucking trip and you should go fuck yourselves" and the like. 

Yeah, a week here, and he would go home a reformed young man.  I would shut his show down (and never have to raise a hand or my voice to do it).  Unless he has special needs not mentioned above, then I blame his parents.  In fact, this screams piss poor parenting.

That said, I maintain that Lori should mind her own business, as she's certainly in no position to be doling out parenting advice.

17 minutes ago, Imrlgoddess said:

Thankfully I believe those families are not uber common. 

Agree.  I can't believe many parents would be willing to put up with that kind of nonsense.

[louisa05]

3 minutes ago, Koala said:

Yeah, a week here, and he would go home a reformed young man.  I would shut his show down (and never have to raise a hand or my voice to do it).  Unless he has special needs not mentioned above, then I blame his parents.  In fact, this screams piss poor parenting.

That said, I maintain that Lori should mind her own business, as she's certainly in no position to be doling out parenting advice.

Agree.  I can't believe many parents would be willing to put up with that kind of nonsense.

We babysat him for a few hours once when he was five. He started screaming about something and I just calmly said, "I will listen to what you have to say when you speak in an appropriate voice". He was so shocked that he stopped. They usually go into overdrive trying to make him happy again. 

 

[AuntKrazy]

The eating management of the toddler really bothers me.  I just can't fathom it.

In my family, children have always at the table with the family, as we consider it family time and they are part of the family.  My nieces and nephews were in high chairs and considered participants.  When my eldest niece was about 13 months old, she was in the high chair next to me at a restaurant where I had ordered vegetable soup along with almost all the adults.  She saw it put before me and said in toddler-speak "me eat peas" (and everyone kind of laughed because she was thought to be a picky eater at the time).  I shrugged, and gave her a spoonful - and she ended up eating the whole bowl.  Turned out that she was not as picky as everyone thought, just had a palate for vegetables even as a toddler.  

From that day forward, the kid would eat every veggie in site.  (she is 18 now and just finished her first year of college with honors). 

[Hisey]

1 hour ago, HoneyBunny said:

Door County Alert!! Lazy Lori has arrived; no dying mother or new grandchild is going to mess with her plans! And apparently Lori has done herself an injury (or an illness...with this bitch it’s hard to tell) but “at least she can stand up now”.  

So typical of Lori, she says her dad built the cabin 34 years ago. When someone remarked that she didn’t know her dad had built the cabin, Lori corrected herself: no, he had it built. You know how it is...when Lori says she did something, she meant she watched while someone did it to her specifications. Nice work if you can get it. 

Thanks for the update. I'm sure it is a coincidence that Lori got "sick" right as she was visiting her new grandson. I guess she wasn't get enough attention from her Ezekial bread so she had to up the ante. It's so hard to compete with a newborn baby!

[klein_roeschen]

I watched my godkids a lot when they where little and I always tried to involve them into the chores, like help setting the table for the meal or taste the cooking to see if it's ready or need more sessioning or helping me shop groceries by getting the milk or the bread. They where proud of themselves for being helpfull. And with getting older, the chores getting bigger. But while you could send them at age 8 to the supermarket to get some things or they put their dirty laundry away, they where never be able to run a household. And they where included into the meals at about the time they where able to sit. I still smile at the memories of them having more tomatosauce on them then into their stomachs. And when they didn't want to eat, they weren't forced. They where and still are good eaters, while beeing thin, and when they refused food, it was most likely that they where getting ill. So no force feeding.

About the oh so healthy einkorn bread. Einkorn is wheat, an old strain, but still wheat and of low nutrional value and not much fiber's and since wheat, lot's of gluten. If I look closely at her bread, it's not even wholegrain, so even less fiber and more simple carbs. The only plus it's being sourdough, wich reduces the gluten, but that's it. If she want's to make a really healthy bread, she should use wholegrain rye, barley and oath, they are rich on fiber and low on simple carbs, oath is even rich in proteins. And it will fill you longer. For example, today my lunch at work where 2 slices of dark wholegrain rye bread with sunflower seeds into them, some cheese onto them and a handfull of cherry tomatoes. This get's my nicely through the afternoon hours, but didn't make me sleepy like a warm meal. Lori's slice wouldn't.

 

 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, louisa05 said:

@Koala Not that anything you say is wrong, but we know a couple whose only child makes most of the decisions for the household. He is 11 now but this has been going on since he was 4 or 5 years old. We have been with them on multiple occasions over the years when he has been allowed to veto restaurants, activities and tell them whether they can go out or not. 

I'm sure they are not the only ones. 

Everything you say is accurate, but, unfortunately, there are people who allow their kids to control the family in ways that are unfathomable to those of us with brains and common sense. 

My hardheaded kids tried this a time or two. They listened to some fool at school and thought it'd be a good idea to try it at home. Ummm...well...it went over like a lead balloon. Giving ME orders? What part of I don't fucking think so are you missing kid? It didn't last long. It was the joy of my life when #1 son told his drill instructor that "my mama could make you cry". The DI had been up in #1 son's face (boot camp) and #1 son just sort smirked at him. DI asked why... The kids also learned that if they could make mama laugh, they wouldn't get in too much trouble. 

Cell phones? I remember getting #2 son a cell phone...by the time they were popular and more in use, Daughter and #1 son could pay for their own (they were both over 18 by then). Cars were optional. I would not pay for a vehicle or insurance/tax/title/tags/repairs. They drove ours only under dire circumstances. I would repeat that old joke "everywhere is within walking distance if you have enough time". 

I love my kids beyond reason (as y'all know) but they needed to understand that they lived in a benevolent dictatorship. My job was to raise them to be reasonably responsible adults in 18 years. Their job was to learn how to be that adult. As they got older we would seek their input but they did not hold the winning vote. 

[polecat]

14 hours ago, Chocolatedefrauded said:

Ugh, it was 98 degrees here today, 105 with the heat index. Northeasterners are not used to this & frankly we can’t cope. Southerners, this is your time to mock us (like we do when the South gets snow or ice.)

Dinner tonight was the same as every night - whatever my sweet husband decides to cook! He is a much better cook than me and he enjoys it. When I went back to work when my daughter was in kindergarten, we made a deal & he took over the cooking. It has worked well for us. So Lori’s idea that only a mother can provide good, home cooked meals is nonsense!

Midwesterner here, and we were at 100/115 heat index on Thursday and about the same Friday. And just for funsies, we had a pretty devastating storm that wiped out our power. So, godawful heat + no AC = abject misery. 

I don't really see the point of making fun of people for their discomfort, though. People in Florida aren't used to cool temps, so of course they're complaining when it gets into the 50s and 60s. And people in the North are going to be feeling pretty uncomfortable when they get 90-degree temps. 

And, as I learned last year, when people who experience dry heat are suddenly thrust into humid heat, there is complaining like NEVER before, lol.

 

[Koala]

Lori, you know full well that this isn't necessarily true.

You stayed home when your kids were young, and continue to do so.

-That doesn't stop you from going to restaurants at least a couple of times a week, and according to Ken, you spend a fortune on food from the health food store (to the point that he was worried about buying a bigger house and retiring).

Quote

I spent a small country's GDP each year on Lori's health

He continued:

Quote

the whole family had to take lots of vitamins, and eat all organic, and I wanted to buy a bigger house some day and maybe even retire.

-You had a car, a housekeeper, and a nanny, AND you stayed home.

-You were NOT a nurturer.  Your kids were beat with a leather strap, forced to eat "big salads" for dinner (to the point that they begged for the food your husband made for himself), and cried themselves to sleep from 3 weeks on.  You admit that you didn't feed them or change them in the night, because if you went to check on them, they'd just cry more, and YOU needed YOUR sleep.

-"Suporting the dog"- yeah, you "supported" your cat with your foot.  You tried to kick him so hard, that you broke your own foot in the process (instant karma if I've ever seen it).

-If your husband and kids came back to a clean and tidy home, they had the housekeeper to thank, not you.

-Big salads don't "simmer on the stove".

-"Real food and vegetables"?  Do you mean the super expensive stuff YOU buy?  Because if a family follows your advice (homeschool, no college, marry young, have as many kids as possible, whether you can support them or not), they'll be eating whatever they can afford.