Lori Alexander 50: Making an Idol of Herself

[ladyicantxplain]

@Frog99, home church is most often a small group of families who meet in one of their own homes weekly or more often.  Less frequently, it is the husband leading his own family, and no others, in "home church", which includes bible study, worship and communion.  I've experienced both.  It is extremely rare for a home church to even be able to support the men of the home church or their "pastor", though I have seen it happen once.

Regarding the spanking commandment, there is none in the New Covenant.  There are proverbs which speak of the rod being used as a tool of discipline, and there is much controversy over the definition of rod, or if the proverbs should be used timelessly or left in the Old Covenant as Christians walk as new creations.

Jesus never addresses child training.

The New Covenant speaks of having well disciplined (well taught) children.  This does not mean well PUNISHED children.

God as Sadist is a tremendously popular mindset amongst fundamentalists, sadly.  Hence the correlation you are rightly seeing between "relationship and pain"/"intimacy and pain".  It is perverse and it makes me sick, too.

 

 

[Joyce]

I don't believe spanking is necessary for discipline. My brothers and I weren't spanked, and my parents weren't spanked either. We all grew up to be good people.

A sterner tone or a serious face made children do whatever the parents said. Parents expected us to obey, and we did. No spanking was needed.

Maybe Lori expected her children and grandchildren to disobey so that she could spank them. Also, it's confusing to learn from Lori since she says one thing but does the opposite. She's also irrational and illogical many times.

I read another Instagram post that Lori admitted she didn't obey God in how she treated her husband. It supports the idea that Lori expects disobedience in others because she is disobedient.

[Sarah92]

7 hours ago, lilwriter85 said:

A guy left this comment on the two income doodle post. I wonder if the fangirls will chime with their claims about living off an amounts lower than 55 k. Last year, there was a fangirl who claimed that her family lived off 9k a year.  I remeber others claiming 24k or 30k. Now, there are some low cost of living areas where a couple with a few kids might be ok living off 55k. 

I have a screenshot in case Lori decides to delete later on. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

55,000 would probably work quite well in my small town, semi-rural community.  Think when I looked it up the average salary was 60,000 in my area. A number of houses sell for less than 100,000. However, go north a few hours and that salary probably  wouldn't work. Same state, differ standard of live. 

[crawfishgirl]

Slightly off topic, but if I remember correctly, Lori usually begins her Door County two-month vacation around the July 4th holiday.  Since she's implied that she's currently in NY with her new grandson, she might go straight from there to Wisconsin.  I'm looking forward (not) to her critiques and stories regarding other people's houses, organic restaurant reviews, organic farms, boutique shopping, etc., while she is making blog posts about frugality.  However, if her mother is close to dying, she might decide to spend the summer with her, which would be nice.

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Oh yeah its Door county time! If they do go that would be really something given her sick mom at home. 

I was noticing on fb she is getting close to 1,000 new likes a day. No way that is that possible even with the fake viral news. 

In other news, in San Francisco you can make over a $100,000 and be considered low income. Tell me Lori, how does one survive on one income there?

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/06/30/us/bay-area-housing-market.html

[polecat]

11 hours ago, ladyicantxplain said:

@usmcmom, yes, she did encourage the women to help and organized a post about it.  (This was several years ago).

I will say that all of the "help" dried up as I began to disagree with her more frequently.  

By then I understood.

That's why women are drawn to the chat room: when they come in, they get support as they seem to find "like-minded" conservative Christian women who have similar lives: most are rather isolated, often struggling financially and the like.  Many have cruel or mean husbands, but think it's normal.  These women who find themselves being mentored by her really think they're arriving at a place of love, and help.

This is genuinely scary to read. 

She's creating a cult. Actively creating a cult. 

My parents were sucked into a similar cult by "love bombing" when they were overseas and far from friends and family (way before the days of the Internet and easy long distance phone calls). 

It's insidious and terribly damaging.

I'm so glad you're out.

[feministxtian]

49 minutes ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

In other news, in San Francisco you can make over a $100,000 and be considered low income. Tell me Lori, how does one survive on one income there?

I read that too. I have a friend who lives in Mountain View. She has a fantastic job. 20 years ago she paid something like 450K for a townhouse. Today she could sell for over a million. Crazy shit.

Believe it or not, Sin City has a reasonable cost of living. 

[ladyicantxplain]

1 hour ago, polecat said:

This is genuinely scary to read. 

She's creating a cult. Actively creating a cult. 

My parents were sucked into a similar cult by "love bombing" when they were overseas and far from friends and family (way before the days of the Internet and easy long distance phone calls). 

It's insidious and terribly damaging.

I'm so glad you're out.

Wow, I cannot believe I have lived this many years and never heard of "love bombing" - thank you.  I completely see what you are saying.

I pray your parents got out of the cult as well, and quickly.

Thank you.

 

[polecat]

1 hour ago, ladyicantxplain said:

Wow, I cannot believe I have lived this many years and never heard of "love bombing" - thank you.  I completely see what you are saying.

I pray your parents got out of the cult as well, and quickly.

Thank you.

 

My mom is deceased, and my dad is no longer in it, but I'm not sure he ever really realized what it was. 

Here's some more info (pardon the cheesy-looking website) that really breaks it down. https://www.cultwatch.com/howcultswork.html

But a snapshot: 

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Single charismatic leader.

Lori, of course

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People always seeming constantly happy and enthusiastic. Especially if you discover that they have been told to act that way for the potential new recruits.

Debatable, especially since Lori is hardly happy. But she does get pretty enthusiastic when browbeating people or talking about her own abusive behaviors

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Instant friends.

As long as you participate in the group-think

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If you are told who you can or cannot talk to or associate with.

Stay away from the whores of Babylon (i.e., working women)!

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They hide what they teach.

Delete, delete, delete, delete

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Say they are the only true group, or the best so why go anywhere else.

"Part of the remnant"

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Hyped meetings, get you to meetings rather than share with you.

Secret group

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Experiential rather than logical.

"Older woman"

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Asking for money for the next level.

Lori does NOT ask for money. I think her thing is fawning attention and adoration. (Or "haters," which get her so many head pats and so much sympathy)

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Some cults travel door to door during times when women are home alone. They, and this is rather sexist, think that women are easier to recruit and once they have the woman then it will be easier to snare the husband or partner.

She'd never leave her home, but she's excellent at going from blog to blog, crapping on other people's lawns (her words).

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Saying that they have to make people pay for it because otherwise they will not appreciate it.

I'm actually surprised she hasn't gone towards a subscription-only model. Perhaps she knows her readers are too broke for that to matter, or maybe she genuinely has no interest in money. Attention really does seem to be her drug of choice.

[lilwriter85]

One of the replies  to Shane's 55k comment. Mandy doesn't say how much her husband makes and then in another comment she mentions working more and not being able to care for her family. Something must have happened and she had to go back to work. I took a quick glance of her Facebook page. She has family pictures and her four kids are teens or possibly early 20s for one of the girls. 

She also has blog called Ruckus and Rubies. That title sounds familiar so she may have been on Fj's radar. She has an esty shop where she sells items with custom graphic designs mostly religious quotes and bible verses. That kind of business might take up a lot of her time.  

She's annoying with the whole "He honors your choices when they are done in faith and obedience".  

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Mandy-  We actually took a leap of faith when I left the workplace. My husband has always been a blue collar worker making less than average to average. Even though the numbers don’t work on paper, God has made sure the bills were paid and there was food on the table. He honors your choices when they are done in faith and obedience.

 

Shane -Mandy one bad economic cycle would have your family on the street with that attitude

 

 

Mandy-  This is exactly how I feel. My calling is to care for my home and family which is the most fulfilling and rewarding job than anything outside the home. Currently I’m having to work more and spend less time with and caring for my family and it is breaking my heart.

 

 

3 hours ago, crawfishgirl said:

Slightly off topic, but if I remember correctly, Lori usually begins her Door County two-month vacation around the July 4th holiday.  Since she's implied that she's currently in NY with her new grandson, she might go straight from there to Wisconsin.  I'm looking forward (not) to her critiques and stories regarding other people's houses, organic restaurant reviews, organic farms, boutique shopping, etc., while she is making blog posts about frugality.  However, if her mother is close to dying, she might decide to spend the summer with her, which would be nice.

I think last year the Door County vacation started sometime in June. 

I'm curious if she'll go this year given what's going on with her mom.  Even if she goes for a week or two, she and Kenny boy will be strolling around town and Kenny boy will be looking for open garage doors to close.  I wonder if Lori will return to old homes that she made fun of last year. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Regarding "they hide what they teach". Its seems that is the purpose of the chatroom is to hide the truly perverse teachings from the general public. Based on what has leaked, we see some much more serious stuff come out of there. The chatroom is like her inner circle who gets a more authentic Lori and the general public gets the charismatic Lori to suck in followers. That is why the application process to get into the chatroom is like applying to get a loan. Its designed to let in only the most loyal of followers, those who won't snitch. 

[Black Aliss]

20 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

Did a little word study on the word Shebet. It does mean rod, but it also can mean tribe, shepherds staff, or a king's scepter. Some would suggest that the rod symbolizes authority and therefore a parent should be diligent in using their authority to correct a child with wisdom. 

Also shepherds used their rods to guide their sheep, not to whack the sheep into going where they wanted them to. Think about it--if you whack a sheep with a stick it's going to bolt, not suddenly become compliant and follow the rest of the flock.

[polecat]

2 hours ago, AlwaysDiscerning said:

Regarding "they hide what they teach". Its seems that is the purpose of the chatroom is to hide the truly perverse teachings from the general public. Based on what has leaked, we see some much more serious stuff come out of there. The chatroom is like her inner circle who gets a more authentic Lori and the general public gets the charismatic Lori to suck in followers. That is why the application process to get into the chatroom is like applying to get a loan. Its designed to let in only the most loyal of followers, those who won't snitch. 

I felt like "Hyped meetings, get you to meetings rather than share with you" applied more to her secret chat room, but hey, both could work.

I put the "hiding" with her deleting habit because whenever anyone points out the truth of what she's teaching, her response is to "hide" or delete it.

[SuperNova]

From Lori's doodle today:

"To feel loved, to belong, to have a place, and to hear one's dignity and worth often affirmed-these are to the soul what food is to the body."

This was written in regards to raising children. Lori reduces women to the same status as children but without the expectation of love. From yesterday's blog post:

"submission means surrender to another, but in the evangelical sense it means that I conduct myself actually among men as the submissive child of my Father in heaven"

We've heard time and time again that we don't need love to married. How does she reconcile these two conflicting statements?

[feministxtian]

Bitch don't know if she's coming or going. There's something WRONG with her. 

[ladyicantxplain]

44 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

From Lori's doodle today:

"To feel loved, to belong, to have a place, and to hear one's dignity and worth often affirmed-these are to the soul what food is to the body."

This was written in regards to raising children. Lori reduces women to the same status as children but without the expectation of love. From yesterday's blog post:

"submission means surrender to another, but in the evangelical sense it means that I conduct myself actually among men as the submissive child of my Father in heaven"

We've heard time and time again that we don't need love to married. How does she reconcile these two conflicting statements?

She has no idea what a son (child) of God is supposed to be DOING on earth.  Zero.  

If she really believes we are to be "conducting ourselves among men as submissive (which means COOPERATIVE with God/man) children (sons) of our Father in heaven" she had better look at what that means.  

The Bible says all of creation is groaning in expectation of the manifestation of the SONS (children) of God.

All of creation is not groaning for another teaching on submission of wives and Titus, with 1 Peter thrown in for good measure.

All of creation is waiting for a whole lot more than that.

[quiversR4hunting]

Anyone read "Ask Amy" by Amy Dickinson? It comes up on my yahoo! feed ever so often. Today's column caught my eye. Here is the question and the answer by Amy. This church reminds me of Lori & Ken's attitude towards single parents.

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Needy single mom feels abandoned by church family

Amy DickinsonContact ReporterAsk Amy

Dear Amy: I was a stay-at-home mom with three children. I lived comfortably, and my husband always took care of the finances.

We were members of a nice church where we’d tithe 15 percent of our income and donate large sums on top of that. I agreed with my husband and our pastor that this was important.

Well, my husband blew through our money, cheated on me with a much younger woman and then left me and the children.

I reached out to the church for help but am now receiving the cold shoulder. No sympathy, no kindness — nothing. I’ve heard whispers from former friends that I’m a cheapskate because I can no longer afford to tithe large sums.

These people were my friends. A couple of the congregants are my son’s and daughters’ godparents, and now they are treating me like dirt, because not only am I a single mother in the midst of a divorce, but I can’t shell out money the way we used to because I need to feed my kids and pay insurance on my old car.

I took a job as a cleaning lady to make ends meet. I even had to move back in with my mother after all of this.

This is breaking my heart, because I really love this church, but I don’t understand this cruelty. I was the one who was wronged. In the meantime, my husband and his new fiancee are still members there, and they welcome him with open arms.

I am at a loss as to what to do. Can you offer any guidance?

— Heartbroken

Dear Heartbroken: You need to find a new church. Everything you report is a reflection of how institutions run but not how spiritual communities should ideally operate. People should not be stigmatized when their circumstances change. And people who are needy, and hurting, should find solace, assistance and recognition of their struggles in their spiritual home.

This is a pastoral matter, and it would be brave (and appropriate) for you to bring this to the pastor of your church. All of those generous donations over the years were not intended as a down payment for a time when you might need payback, but your very presence should be enough for you to receive emotional, spiritual and perhaps even financial support when you need it.

None of this should have any bearing on your faith. Surely your faith in people has taken a hit, but it was ever thus. Humanity — with all of its flaws, foibles and petty cruelties — has a way of interfering with the work of the divine, however you define it. Simply put: People — sometimes we’re the worst.

 

[lilwriter85]

Ugh, the people at the church are awful.  I suspect that a church community like that  might only be kind to a single mom if she was widowed.  She needs to ditch that church.  

[quiversR4hunting]

34 minutes ago, lilwriter85 said:

Ugh, the people at the church are awful.  I suspect that a church community like that  might only be kind to a single mom if she was widowed.  She needs to ditch that church.  

I bet they are just as awful to widows. The church is embracing the soon-to-be ex-husband and the trophy fiancé but not the struggling "left over" wife. I bet the church would have the same view for a widow. Something like: "oh, I am so sorry but you should have had life insurance so you could take care of yourself in case he died." Sounds like this church embraces the woman is at fault.

Women are taught to take care of everything and just do it all. Men are taught they must have a woman or someone else to help them with the house/children, etc. Thus when a divorce/separation/death happens I see it time and time again that the help for the women is dropped before a man in the same situation.  

[EowynW]

"The biblical reason for marriage is to produce fruit for God. Marriage is to produce children and to make the earth fruitful for God. Christian marriage, in other words, is God-centered (producing what God wants) rather than me- or us-centered (meeting my or our desires)” 

 

this attitude right here makes me want to run and get myself sterilized. My gothard inlaws believe this shit. 

[Frumper]

I truly don't understand why she thinks every single kid needs to be hit with a rod unless she is just a sadistic monster who loves inflicting pain.  My mom was not opposed to spanking her kids.  My brother and sister were occasionally spanked but I don't think I ever was because my parents knew a disapproving word or look from them would discipline me far more than any "rod" - I was just that kind of kid.  They actually knew their children's personalities and didn't think one size fit all when it came to disciplne.  So even if you think spanking is perfectly fine, why should you just automatically hit every kid if you know that another method works better?

 

[Beermeet]

32 minutes ago, EowynW said:

"The biblical reason for marriage is to produce fruit for God. Marriage is to produce children and to make the earth fruitful for God. Christian marriage, in other words, is God-centered (producing what God wants) rather than me- or us-centered (meeting my or our desires)” 

 

this attitude right here makes me want to run and get myself sterilized. My gothard inlaws believe this shit. 

That's gotta be Anna Duggars thinking and why Josh doesn't have to grovel or treat her better. 

[feministxtian]

9 minutes ago, Frumper said:

My brother and sister were occasionally spanked but I don't think I ever was because my parents knew a disapproving word or look from them would discipline me far more than any "rod"

With #1 son, pretty much all I had to do was give him the "mom look". It still works now and he's 31. My daughter was the one who was the most difficult. #2 son, I'd start counting...I never told him what would happen when I got to three, I let his imagination take over. Then there's the running joke about "la chancla"...I may have occasionally tossed a flip-flop in their direction...mostly as an attention getter. 

My kids were/are "spirited"...trying to break their spirits would have taken more effort than I would have been willing to put out. 

[SweetLaurel]

21 minutes ago, Frumper said:

 So even if you think spanking is perfectly fine, why should you just automatically hit every kid if you know that another method works better?

Because you are a  mean lazy ass who doesn't give a crap.  My take on it as a 'spanked' kid.  My dad would line us all up, didn't matter who did what and we all got  it.  Then he could just send us to bed for 'crying' and not deal with us.  Easy peasy! I bet Lori did the same.   He didn't care about methods - he cared about quiet, obedient, acquiescent, robots who simply behaved as he desired. Same as Lori.  Break their spirits.   Methods - who cares about methods when you have a leather strap that works every single time!

EDTA - and I agree with @Koala below - there is some level of happiness and satisfaction on inflicting pain on the weaker person with her.  Like telling abused wives to stay, and poor people struggling to feed their kids that starving isn't such a painful way to die.   Which I think Ken said, but she surely agrees - because submission!

[Koala]

20 minutes ago, Frumper said:

she is just a sadistic monster who loves inflicting pain

This, without any qualifiers.  She is straight up a monster, who loves inflicting pain.  She's near about obsessed with it.

20 minutes ago, Frumper said:

My mom was not opposed to spanking her kids.  My brother and sister were occasionally spanked but I don't think I ever was because my parents knew a disapproving word or look from them would discipline me far more than any "rod" - I was just that kind of kid.  They actually knew their children's personalities and didn't think one size fit all when it came to disciplne.  

Violence does not fit anyone, and hitting is not discipline, it's abuse.  No one has a "personality" that requires hitting as a means of communication.

If your child is not responding to your style of disciple, resorting to hitting is never the answer.