Lori Alexander 48: The Complaining of the Shrew

[Maggie Mae]

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A boy masquerading in boots with a mortgage and a video game addiction

 

Video games are a perfectly valid hobby, in moderation. To each their own, right? Not everyone has the same values, background, or interests. My personal feelings that are agreed upon by my SO (we've lived together in sin for 8 years or so) are that video games are fun, we have a ton, but also kind of not great as a sole hobby. They take up a lot of time and it's not a healthy lifestyle to be tied to raids every night. Once a week? When it's raining or cold or you are ill? Wonderful! There are some amazing games out there! There are social games and single player games and games with great art & there is just TOO MUCH media out there these days to really focus on something like raiding. 

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Instead of having a marriage with a man who orders his life to serve, equip, and instruct his family how to follow God, they’ve got a husband and a father who needs to be weaned off fantasy football, guy nights, and lazy days on the couch. 

 

There is NOTHING wrong with lazy days on the couch once in a while. And fantasy sports are huge, one in three fantasy players are women. So I shall quote Stanley Hudson, and say "Take your judgement, and shove it up your butt!" 

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Men, this culture is designed to extend boyhood. Your flesh is hellbent for idleness and escapism. The leadership of your home does not mean a paycheck or private school or even church on Sunday. Leadership means fanatical integration of your life into the heart of your wife and children. You cannot have progress without presence. You are the bricklayer. You are the iron. You are the light. The work of building great families always begins with great men. So husbands, resurrect your life! Your wife and children are tired. But most of all they are homesick—yearning for the kind of man they truly deserve. Be that man.

Who is this person who is so unhappy that he thinks people need to be fanatical about bringing his brand of Jesus to men? 

[Koala]

I would totally eat that burger and fries, and then I'd use that chocolate fudge to top off a couple of scoops of Häagen-Dazs.  As far as the Diet Pepsi, they'd have to pry it out of my cold little hands, because I am never without one. 

Lori, don't you have a 5 day old salad & cattle spit soup waiting on you??  Don't forget to slather your sourdough Einkorn bread with lots of $14 butter.  It's the frugal way.  

Dinner tonight- Enchiladas w/ all the trimmings.  I feel awful, so it's an easy night.

[Hisey]

45 minutes ago, Koala said:

 

He was picking up a biscuit, and said he just hoped he didn't end up with a shot of vanilla in his coffee.    He also mentioned something about going out to lunch, and wanted to see if I wanted to meet him...  

 

And there's the rub. Ken, most likely, has never called Lori in the middle of the day to ask her to join him for lunch. Why would anyone want to have lunch with Lori? She judges what you eat, she judges how much you eat, she is smug about her own (mostly disgusting) choices.

Lori is jealous of all the couples in the world who want to eat a meal together, and use that time to connect and catch up. This is something she doesn't have. Her mealtimes all about control and criticism.

[feministxtian]

1 minute ago, Hisey said:

Lori is jealous of all the couples in the world who want to eat a meal together, and use that time to connect and catch up. This is something she doesn't have. Her mealtimes all about control and criticism.

I don't get how their marriage supposedly works. My hubs is my very favorite person to hang out with...period! 

[delphinium65]

16 minutes ago, Koala said:

Lori, don't you have a 5 day old salad & cattle spit soup waiting on you??  Don't forget to slather your sourdough Einkorn bread with lots of $14 butter.  It's the frugal way.  

When Lori starts eating wheat berries straight from the stalk instead of making bread, munching on berries grown in the wild, and stops cooking anything, then I might listen to her talk about eating food the way (she thinks) food is supposed to be eaten.  She thinks she can improve on what 'god' put there for us?  Doesn't she love God, or the perfect way he provides for us? 

[Maggie Mae]

The only thing in that picture that is remotely tempting to me is the burger, and even that doesn't look that great. I don't know anyone would eat any of that, there are tons of things that are bad for you that are actually tempting. Or at least photographed to not look like death on a plate.  Her soup also looks awful, possibly pre-digested. 

[EowynW]

It is shitty food, but Lori's food doesn't look all that appealing either. I have to eat sugar & gluten free and be careful about grains and dairy, but what we eat looks so much more appealing than her food. 

My soups never look like vomit and are just as healthy as hers. I've even figured out how to make a GF jalapeño chicken popper soup 

[polecat]

1 hour ago, feministxtian said:

What men do these women know? 

Yeah, hubs and I LOVE football and hockey. We'll watch every game we can and maybe even attend a few in person next season. I played fantasy football for years...it was a lot of fun but didn't take a helluva lot of time. Guys night out? Hubs may go out with the guys from church for a "guys night"...they usually end up at Dave & Busters (Chuck E Cheese for grown ups). I may go out with a couple of my girlfriends, head to Premium Outlets just to look around (we don't buy much). 

Watching TV...that's the ONE thing that I'd like to wean him off of...the TV is on ALL THE FUCKING TIME. He doesn't actually watch it but it's on all the damn time. 

Oh well, if that's all I've got to bitch about...

Mr. Polecat likes the TV on, too. Just for background noise. I don't particularly like it, but meh, it's certainly not the worst thing in the world. His "guy night" is literally training at the firehouse or at a specific site (like a frozen-over pond for ice water rescue). He doesn't go out to party: He goes out to practice his skills and earn certifications. Video games? Yeah, he's a gamer. Not addicted, though -- it's how he unwinds. 

I think these women either didn't know their husbands well before marriage OR they hate them. It's the only thing I can think of. Why marry someone if you're really wanting to change everything about them??

[feministxtian]

2 minutes ago, polecat said:

Why marry someone if you're really wanting to change everything about them??

Yup! I mean, I'll admit there were a few things I wanted to change about my husband...and over time they did change. BUT...I didn't throw some kind of shit fit over it...he changed, he "grew up". I loved him from the beginning and love him more now. 

[polecat]

51 minutes ago, Hisey said:

Lori is jealous of all the couples in the world who want to eat a meal together, and use that time to connect and catch up. This is something she doesn't have. Her mealtimes all about control and criticism.

omg! I just realized something! Of course you're 100 percent right ... but I also wonder if this might not be what's behind her "ministry"? She wants to prove, with her band of harridans fangirls that EVERY woman is as awful as she is. This way, Ken, who, let's face it, just isn't all that intelligent himself -- never cottons on to the fact that there ARE women out there who are NOT like her! (Um ... like the majority of us?)

[Alisamer]

5 minutes ago, polecat said:

I think these women either didn't know their husbands well before marriage OR they hate them. It's the only thing I can think of. Why marry someone if you're really wanting to change everything about them??

Lori has come right out and said she married Ken only because he ticked off all the boxes on her list of what she wanted in a husband. She says she didn't love him, and it sounds like she didn't know the real him all that well either. I think the first half of their marriage was constant conflict, then she decided to "submit" and the rest of it has been her passive-aggressive attempts to get him to lead her the way SHE wants.

[PennySycamore]

In that picture of processed food, only the cheese on the burger might be porocessed more than cooking.  That looks like Cheetos to me under refined sugars, but I could be wrong as I’m on my phone.  And that looks like it may be grape jelly in the artificial foods photo.

[Pammy]

Oh, Lori,

There’s nothing wrong with “C”arbonation.

All sugars are “R”efined if they aren’t still inside their original whole foods. The world health organization urges us to limit our consumption, not to cut all ties with sugars.

There is no such things as an “A”rtificial food. By the photo, I think maybe you object to shelf-stable foods? I can’t imagine why.

All foods are “P”rocessed, unless they are both whole and raw. Cooking is a process. Using a blender is a process. Milling flour is a process. Kneading is a process. By the photo, I think the processes you object to are: cutting (potatoes), frying in oil, grinding meat and forming patties, cooking meat on a griddle or grill, and baking bread with sesame seeds on top. (Frying in oil should not be an everyday method, and meat patties should only contain the fillers that we want to eat... other than that: what’s the problem?)

[Alisamer]

8 minutes ago, Pammy said:

other than that: what’s the problem?

They taste good and don't look like cow loogies?

Also poor people can afford these sometimes, and Lori needs to feel holier than those poor fat people who don't have access to or money to afford $14 butter.

[YourMamaKnew]

1 hour ago, Koala said:

 

 

Um. Sonic Drive-thru is definitely real food, right? Asking for a friend....  

[SilverBeach]

I like the Careington Dental Discount Plan myself.

Fourteen dollar a pound butter is surely what God intended us to eat. 

[delphinium65]

3 minutes ago, SilverBeach said:

Fourteen dollar a pound butter is surely what God intended us to eat. 

No! It's processed! God never intended for us to skim cream off of milk, then beat the crap out of it to get solid lumps of fat.  We're supposed to get the milk directly from the cow!  God didn't hand out buckets or cups to Adam and Eve, did he?   

[EowynW]

3 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

No! It's processed! God never intended for us to skim cream off of milk, then beat the crap out of it to get solid lumps of fat.  We're supposed to get the milk directly from the cow!  God didn't hand out buckets or cups to Adam and Eve, did he?   

Not going to lie, the herbed butter & the cream we had from our Jersey growing up was the best. I still miss it and it's been 20 years. 

I do think some foods border on artificial, after researching what goes into many foods to make it shelf stable. I'm not a fan of eating food with ingredients I can't pronounce. I feel better eating mostly from from scratch foods. But lord, someone needs to show Lori how to cook so Ken can actually eat decent. I do feel sorry for him in that area. 

 

[Koala]

My family always has a lot of fresh fruits and vegetables.  I spends hours and hours cooking (Lori would need the smelling salts if someone told her she had to spend that much time in her kitchen).

That said:

Soda- my weakness...never without a Diet Pepsi.  One morning without my soda= a massive headache.  Don't drink coffee 

Sugar lollies- I let them pass, but the ladies at the bank always offered them to my kids when they were little, and I had no problem.  Same for the hairdresser.  Hell, our dentist gives them coupons for a free ice-cream after each cleaning, and since braces, we've learned where to find all the best milkshakes in town.  Orthodontist's orders. 

Burger and fries- We pretty much never eat fries, but once every few months we hit a BBQ place that has great fries.  We get them then.  

Burgers are maybe once every other month, and I make them out of ground sirloin.  

100 calorie packs- Not my deal, but my mom used to keep them in her office.  Not enough food for me.  I'd have to eat 3 to be full 

Cheetos- Not our preferred chip, but fine w/ a sandwhich

Jelly Beans- No thank you, especially those weird flavored ones...get out of here with that mess.  I'll take a Butterfinger instead (we always have a candy jar w/ little treats)

Peppermint Patties- My husband always grabs a handful for everyone after we eat at our favorite Mexican restaurant.  Makes me smile.

Chef Boyardee- When my daughter was little, she loved the ravioli.  I got it for her occasionally as a lunch treat.  Served it with fruit, and didn't feel bad about it.  

Goldfish- When my kids were little I was NEVER without them.  I bought in bulk, and wasn't above eating a handful myself.  Easy to-go snack.  Done.

Cadbury Easter candy- Fine in Easter basket.  Not our favorite.

Choc. fudge sauce- Yes, thank you.  Extra.  In fact, it made me think of these Andes Mint Brownies that my niece used to make, so that's what's in my oven at the moment.  Don't know what the connection is, but thanks for making me think of it, Lori 

21 minutes ago, YourMamaKnew said:

Um. Sonic Drive-thru is definitely real food, right? Asking for a friend....  

In my experience, the foot long chili cheese dog w/ fries and a diet soda counts as a fun summer dinner.  Our Sonic sometimes has Summer of Shakes (shakes are half price after 8), so it's a fun surprise to load everyone up and go for peanut-butter fudge milkshakes. Come home and rent a scary movie=perfect weekend.

And again, Lori shouldn't be telling anyone what to eat.  That's the husband's job, right Lori?  He's king.  If he says jelly beans and smores are for dinner, then best get to the candy store!

[smittykins]

I don't play fantasy sports, but both my late husband and I liked baseball--although my team is the Yankees and his was the Mets, which made things interesting around our house; the 2000 World Series was outright war(in a friendly way, of course, although I loved the fact that I won!) 

[Koala]

In today's edition of Fucked Up Family Dynamics:

Translation 1- Can I express my disapproval if my husband doesn't do all of his work AND tell me exactly how to do all of my work??

Translation 2- Is it okay for me to cook dinner, clean house, and mother my 2 year old?  Just asking, because I could TOTALLY put it all on him!

Fucked Up Answer Time!

qw

Wait, what is she apologizing for?  

"I am so sorry, hon!  I was at the grocery, and the next thing I knew I was picking up the ingredients for lasagna and a salad.  I know the Lord must have wept as he saw me usurping YOUR God-given authority!  Tell me what you want- I'll make second dinner."

"I'm sorry, dear.  I should have called you before I put little Johnny down for a nap.  I know I have no business making decisions like that, and tomorrow I will totally have you pulled from a meeting so that you can decide what's best."

"Scrubbing Bubbles!?  I can't even believe I did that!  My Command Man much prefers Ajax!  What was I even thinking?  I don't deserve a bath tub!  Maybe I'll suggest he take it away as punishment.  That'll teach me!"

Umm, that'd be a big ol' Nope, Captain Crazy Pants. 

Around here, mama and daddy are on the same page, and back each other up.  My husband and I make big decisions together.  Small decisions= whatever the parent you're with decides  (I am a sahm, so I am usually the parent they're with).  We also do a lot of letting them decide for themselves on things that really don't matter.  We want them to learn to make wise choices, that way.

My husband is a secure adult, and he doesn't want or need me running around convincing our children he's the "big boss.  If I started that "your wish is my command" bullshit, he'd weep.  He needs a spouse, not a third child to raise.  

My god, these people are just ridiculous.  

 

[polecat]

I can't even imagine what this would look like in practice. 

My husband would be incredibly annoyed if I called him every 5 minutes on a Pole Kitten-related situation. 

1. Your kids are as much your children as they are your husband's. RAISE THEM TOGETHER. If he wanted to be a single dad, he could have adopted. 

2. Take some responsibility! Do you really want your kids to see you as a spineless slug? I should hope not.

3. Gah, leave your husband alone when he's at work! He is WORKING. 

3b. I work from home sometimes, and errrrbody thinks that "work at home" means "do nothing." So when people interrupt me while I'm actively working, I can get a wee bit testy. I don't think I'm alone in that -- so why would it be any better to interrupt your husband at work over petty crap? 

 

[Hisey]

Lindsay needs to write an advice column. Here are some sample questions I can imagine she'd get:

Dear Lindsay,  My husband wants me to make ALL the decisions, while he plays video games all day. Can you tell me the best way to show respect for this leadership style?

Dear Lindsay, My husband is passed out drunk on our living room floor, while I field calls from bill collectors. Is it OK to try to wake him to ask him if it's OK to talk to the bill collectors?

Dear Lindsay, My 12-year old daughter does not want me to consult her dad before I purchase her underwear, swimsuits and clothing. She also says it is "none of his business" what brand of sanitary pads she wears, and wants to choose them herself.  How can I stop her from walking down Satan's path?

On another note. . . the worst times in our marriage have been those times where I have acted like a doormat. We really struggled then. Now I call Mr. Hisey on any behavior I don't like. I insist on things when I know they are right. It has been hard for me to do--I was raised to deny my feelings, from my earliest days. But I do it now, and it was vastly improved our marriage, and Mr. Hisey is happier too. 

[SuperNova]

My little woman brain is confused. Lori says that women try to raise their husbands and remove behavior that takes them away from the family unit. 

So who decides what behaviors are acceptable and which ones are not? It's perfectly acceptable to have my man work 3 jobs even though I never see him. Is this ok because he's making money? Then on his day off I'm supposed to let him rest or do whatever it is he pleases. Lori has even mentioned getting the kids out of the house so daddy can rest up on his only day off. But if my man decides to play video games, that's not ok? If my headship is not actively making money or doing something I like then he's behaving like a child? 

"The only way a wife can TRY to raise a husband up like this is to speak the truth in love to him, set boundaries if need be (especially if his actions are dangerous or destructive)..."

Barring the obvious, who gets to decide a behavior dangerous or destructive? Mr. Nova has a barely street legal classic muscle car. I would say that it has the potential to be quite dangerous if he was an irresponsible person. I had a "friend" tell me that if it was her husband she would make him get rid of it. She made her husband get rid of his motorcycle because she didn't like it and was so pleased with herself. She whined about not having a wedding ring, he told her "I'm sorry, you knew I didn't have the money and that I'm saving up". She told him that he already had the money but he was being selfish. Where is the money, he asked. Your motorcycle, she said. You love that thing more than me. He sold it immediately and bought her a ring. I felt sick when she told me that story. She even laughed at her cleverness and advised me to do the same. I have no doubt that Lori would approve.

 

[SilverBeach]

Lindsay and Lindy are crazy as fuck. Fucking child-women don't even want the responsibility of making decisions about the care of their own children! I don't see weak-ass women like this in the bible! What is wrong with them? It must be exhausting to be married to these useless women, who have made idols of their husbands. I'm so very happy that, married or not, I always exercised my adult agency. I think these bishes just want to be able to deflect blame if something goes wrong. Sickening.