Lori Alexander 48: The Complaining of the Shrew

[Loveday]

7 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

Well, "General," I don't think my grandmother ever had a fast food meal in her life. She lived on a farm, raised almost everything she ate--fresh vegetables, fruits, chickens, cows, pigs, water from an ice-cold well-- and developed diabetes despite being extremely active and being the right weight for her height/age/whatever. Diabetes, high blood pressure, the whole metabolic syndrome. So you can just take your moral failing crap and shove it up your tightly clamped arse.

The fricking nerve of some people. 

[SuperNova]

What the hell, Lori? Kids are given "on loan"? What does that even mean? My daughter is still my child and she's 22 but she NEVER belonged to me. Children are not things or property. They are autonomous human beings that come into our care. The needs of my child were always met before another adult who could help themselves. It's not a competition for my love. 

What would this look like in practice? Let's say my child is ill and I'm caring for their immediate needs and my headship comes home tired and hungry. I suppose I'm expected to drop everything and cook his dinner? I'm betting yes.

[Hisey]

Quote

It is my observation that most women can’t see the big picture and make the hard decisions. It is the fact that they can even vote and have any say in how things are managed that is playing a big part in the decline and ultimate coming failure of our civilization. 

I like that, Trey. How dare women have any say in how things are managed. Let alone that they should "even vote"!

Trey must experience a lot of angst every time he leaves his mother's basement. Getting on a plane, and seeing a woman pilot. Reading the paper and learning what female lawmakers have done that affect his life. Going to a government office and having a woman tell him to "Take a seat, I'll call your number shortly."

What a terrible world it must be for him, with all these women have power over him, "managing" things, and "even voting."

[EowynW]

I thought Trey was my BIL there for a minute. Same political high horse shit.  

[Free Jana Duggar]

Regarding all the talk about taxes: Yes, taxes suck, but they help the community as a whole. They support schools, maintain roads, and fund public services.

And didn't Jesus say give to Caesar what is Caesar's?  Mark 12:17

[polecat]

3 hours ago, Maggie Mae said:

Does Trey ever talk about how "history has proven that fact over and over again?" I doubt it, because conservatives who rant on  facebook/comment section of their local paper rarely provide sources. Also, there's verse in Deuteronomy 15:17 about how there will never cease to be poor, yet you should still give to them! 

A friend of mine once surmised that we will always have poverty not because we cannot solve it but because we will not. 

I see many people with attitudes such as Lori's and Trey's that make me suspect he was right.

2 hours ago, Koala said:

 Trey said clearly that he would rather use his money to help others instead of give it to a gigantic and inefficient government that is wasteful and even uses our money to fund evil things like abortion.

You know what other evil things our government funds? WARS. And far more is spent on waging war than is ever spent on healthcare. Shows what our priorities are ... 

As for diabetes, my sibling has type 1 diabetes. It is an autoimmune disorder. Unless we're blaming people for immune system malfunctions, the Surgeon General needs to shut the hell up.
 

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

What the hell, Lori? Kids are given "on loan"? What does that even mean? My daughter is still my child and she's 22 but she NEVER belonged to me. Children are not things or property. They are autonomous human beings that come into our care. The needs of my child were always met before another adult who could help themselves. It's not a competition for my love. 

What would this look like in practice? Let's say my child is ill and I'm caring for their immediate needs and my headship comes home tired and hungry. I suppose I'm expected to drop everything and cook his dinner? I'm betting yes.

From Khalil Gibran: 

Quote

 

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts, 
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, 
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, 
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 
and He bends you with His might 
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

 

 

[Koala]

1 hour ago, SuperNova said:

What the hell, Lori? Kids are given "on loan"? What does that even mean? My daughter is still my child and she's 22 but she NEVER belonged to me. Children are not things or property. They are autonomous human beings that come into our care. The needs of my child were always met before another adult who could help themselves. It's not a competition for my love. 

What would this look like in practice? Let's say my child is ill and I'm caring for their immediate needs and my headship comes home tired and hungry. I suppose I'm expected to drop everything and cook his dinner? I'm betting yes.

Love every word of this!

I swear Lori makes my blood pressure spike.  

What's everyone having for dinner tonight?  I love hearing all the dinner plans!

We are having BBQ pulled pork sandwiches, homemade coleslaw, and 2 huge trays of roasted veggies (baby potatoes/yellow pepper/squash/zucchini/cherry tomatoes/asparagus).  I was going to do oven fried eggplant, but the grocery didn't have a single egg plant.  So weird.  Anyway, I ended up with way too many veggies, but it looks really good.

[refugee]

6 minutes ago, Koala said:

What's everyone having for dinner tonight?  I love hearing all the dinner plans!

I’m coming to your house!

Just kidding. Coming down with a virus, so there’s chicken soup processing in the Instant Pot. I feel like crud and have no desire to eat.

[feministxtian]

Invites self to @Koala's house for dinner. 

Here we're having chicken of some sort, pasta of some sort, veggies of some sort. 

[AuntKrazy]

Picnic at @Koala's place ! - that sounds wonderful and perfect for a hot summer night. . . 

We are having leftover homemade chicken fried rice, vegetable pot stickers (also somewhat homemade - although I did buy the wonton wrappers at the asian market), and steamed broccoli.  

 

[TeddyBonkers]

48 minutes ago, Free Jana Duggar said:

Regarding all the talk about taxes: Yes, taxes suck, but they help the community as a whole. They support schools, maintain roads, and fund public services.

And didn't Jesus say give to Caesar what is Caesar's?  Mark 12:17

Yes. Yes, He did.

And I'll bet dollars to donuts that Trey thinks our military (that is supported with his tax dollars that are taken at gunpoint!) should patrol the southern border for people that don't look just like him.

[SuperNova]

@Koala you read between the lines! I read that Khalil Gibran passage when I was sixteen and a new mom. It still brings tears to my eyes. It shaped so much of who I am as a mother.

 

Still burning up in the valley here so we're having big salads for dinner. Not the Lori version, though. Mixed greens from the local produce stand, chicken, hardboiled eggs, lots of chopped veggies and homemade dressing made today. Throw in some fresh baked bread and that's dinner. 

[Loveday]

Dinner tonight is homemade pepperoni pizza and salad. Not leftover salad from last night, I made it fresh again. Took me all of about four minutes, so no need for week-old, rusty, soggy salmonella salad in this house! 

[older than allosaurs]

9 minutes ago, SuperNova said:

@Koala you read between the lines! I read that Khalil Gibran passage when I was sixteen and a new mom. It still brings tears to my eyes. It shaped so much of who I am as a mother.

Our choir sings this. I think of my kids and grandkids and always have trouble getting through it without choking up.

[Frog99]

@Koala add me to your guest list for dinner tonight lol! Or maybe I could swing by @SuperNova‘s instead- those salads sound good as well! 

I have no idea what we are having. It’s the last week of school for the kiddos and I’m just done. And DH is working late. 

As far as abortion rates go, they are declining: https://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/01/17/509734620/u-s-abortion-rate-falls-to-lowest-level-since-roe-v-wade

The general consensus is that the decline is related to increased access to contraception, but a pro-life source claimed that it’s because clinics shut down- decreased access to abortion. I’d be more inclined to go with increased access but don’t have any desire to research. 

Regarding children- I am 43. I know that if something happened and DH, our kids, and I needed a place to go, my parents would open their home. As long as they are alive my parents will be my soft place to land (aside from DH of course). I will be the same way for my kids. 

And she’s back with Laine’s letters... ugh 

[louisa05]

When exactly was the almighty Laine living on $29,000 a year? An online inflation calculator tells me that that amount in 1980 would be equivalent to over $87,000 now and in 1990 it would be over $55,000 now. 

But Lori isn't one for realistic details. 

[EowynW]

LMAO keep your phone bill no higher than $25 a month 

That sounds like hell to me. 

What the hell. 

[feministxtian]

Big fucking deal to all of that. Does she want a fucking cookie for learning to live broke-ass or staying out of debt? Color me NOT impressed. 

[Frog99]

@EowynW tip number 35 got me. I cannot fathom telling my child to pick at his/her tooth for $10 to avoid dental care. 

Was that $29k before or after taxes? And where are the tips? Most people I know do a lot of those things already (minus limiting kid activities- I’m not doing that- I will let them pursue every passion they have). 

And where did she live? Does SoCal get as cold as she claims? I thought the temp was pretty mild- certainly not the winter weather we get. And I’m frugal with the heat- it’s 65 downstairs and this past winter, I didn’t turn the upstairs heat on- just used a small electric heater while sleeping. 

[SuperNova]

@older than allosaurs thanks a lot. Now I'm sitting here crying like an idiot. Seriously, that was cool to hear, I didn't know that it was made into a song. 

@feministxtianis it an organic, non-gmo, 30 dollar cookie? No? Then Lori doesn't want it!

[mango_fandango]

Women are leading here in Europe? Nope. Out of all the major economies, there are only two female heads of government (that I can of anyway), Theresa May and Angela Merkel. Men still hold the upper hand in politics. Spain had an election recently and the fact that over half the positions in the cabinet are now filled by women was considered newsworthy. Sexism/misogyny is still a big thing. 

Also, Scandinavia has some of the happiest nations in the world!! 

Its also super boring when fundies compete over how poor they are; it’s like Poverty Top Trumps.

[kmachete14]

A while ago I read all of the Laine's Letters from Lori's original blog. Honestly, most families who consider themselves the middle class do those things (whether they are at the high or low end of the spectrum). When I was a kid, my family did them (not so for my youngest sibling . . . he's living a whole different childhood than I did lol) and now my fiancé and I do the ones that apply:  We pay off our credit cards each month, limit laundry loads, wash our cars on the driveway, don't go out to eat except for special occasions, hand me downs for kids, cheap clothes and only  buy when necessary, buy cheapest things at the grocery store/in season foods, get furniture off craigslist, etc. Now the lackadaisical and even dangerous approach to doctor's visits I cannot get behind, but my point is that most of those things are just part of life! They do those things to make the mortgage each month and afford groceries and insurance and a YMCA summer camp experience for their kids and a neighborhood with a decent school and a little left over for retirement and a trip to the ice cream store on Sundays. These are not groundbreaking methods that will magically allow you to be able to feed 10 kids and pay off your mortgage in 10 years. I have a hunch that the poster suggesting the 29k income was in the 80s or 90s was correct, because then and only then could I see how it *might* be possible to do. 

Oh also . . I am an atheist and see the Bible as a wonderful, historic work but today I caved and tried to comment on Lori's post. I listed (from the KJV!) a bunch of verses about helping the poor and paying taxes, and surprise surprise, my post hasn't appeared on the blog. I also think it is strange how Lori seems to lavish attention and praise on Trey even though a) he isn't her husband b) isn't a pastor/have any theological training even from some Bible college and c) doesn't use scripture to support what he says. 

[Sarah92]

We do have poor because of us not because it isn't fixable. I mean my sister was reading to me about a 16 year old who's mother took her for a 32,000 dollar shopping spree. She got shoes and hand bags. $4,000 dollar handbags seemed like a steal in her opinion. I don't think there's anything wrong with being rich but seriously the privilege was out of this world. CEOs who make millions while their employees starve just seems sociopathic to me.  I've read we grow enough food to feed everyone yet we don't. I wonder why this is. I can't fathom people dying because of governments and other people not being willing to share. 

[Free Jana Duggar]

Oh please tell me I just read wrong. That woman had her child pick and pry to get a tooth to come out instead of having a proper extraction?  I'm sick.

Plus, having the child to get her own tooth to come out COULD NEVER cause more damage and make matters worse.  Gosh, if I was that dentist, I'd call CPS.

[Maggie Mae]

Laine is fake right? 

The first three - Tithe, give to the poor, pay off debts are not groundbreaking money strategies. Four and Five include the completely brand new advice to save money and use a budget. I don't know what a Freedom Account is, as she didn't actually explain it. Seven - keep your water and electric bills low! Well, turning off my water heater is not really an option for us for most of the year, unless I want to pay a lot more money to repair things like frozen pipes. I also live in a place where water and electricity aren't expensive, so not very useful for me. (And if, for some reason, I couldn't afford the $18 a month for unlimited water, I would just bathe at the gym and haul water for dishes and toilet.) 

8.) I don't have an iphone, I have a smartphone. It's 2018 and I am not going to buy a landline, a calling card from costco, and not have access to my email. 

9) I already cook form scratch, although the $41 I spent on cheeses yesterday is making me consider what the start up cost for cheesemaking would be. I suppose I would need to find a source for raw milk, though. We don't eat bread often, and when I do, it's homemade. It's easy, but probably not much cost savings from buying from Safeway's bakery. No Dollar Store in my area. We eat out sometimes but I don't enjoy it very much.  

10)  Savings again. Is this going to be something that is actually 10 tips but 20 different tips on opening a savings account? 

11) Have emergency savings. Let me tell you, it's not exactly possible for everyone. Minimum wage does not match cost-of-living, it's not gone up with the CPI, and there are people who can not just "save" as they have bills to pay. 

12.) somehow reading Christian Finance books is going to help save money? I hope she's getting them from the library. 

13.) People are cutting cable left and right, this isn't a new tip. 

14.) I could cut internet at my house, but... why? It's kind of necessary for the world we live in, and while I could run off my phone and go to the library, that seems like needless hassle. 

15.) Buy good quality food. Earlier she's talking about eating bread daily. She studies Proverbs 31 and health, and somehow buying good quality food keeps their teeth healthy because they don't have dental insurance. You know, there's a component in some people's saliva, it's genetic, and it eats at enamel faster. Also, teeth is SO important to physical health, WHY don't we have dental covered under medical in the US? 

16) Waste Not, want not. NO practical tips on how to use something in an unexpected way or stretching an item's lifespan. 

17.) Two paragraphs on being content and some poverty porn. 

18.) Is bullshit - "it's not about the amount of money that comes in, rather how it goes out that counts." So my parents spending 110% of their income on medical... I guess they should have just died sooner than? Oh, she's talking about living without insulation in SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA, and having clutter on all of the flaws in her home. Spill wine on the carpet? Put a rug over it! Have a hole in a wall or a scuff on the shelving? Fill it with lace and doilies and candles and tea cups and OMG it's just Umbridge's house. YUCK it sounds so awful. She puts money into sleep and food. (But also doilies and junk) 

19) they give each other an allowance. Weird. 

20) Kids are allowed to be involved in church and music. They don't get allowances. I guess that's fine, but I'd want my hypothetical kids to be involved in what they want to be involved with, but also try new things. We're also big on not having lazy kids, so we'd probably require one sport (even if it's just hiking with dad, or climbing at the rock gym, or skiing or soccer or whatever, except SO says no football) and one academic/music/art type thing, just so they have options later in life. Of course disability and what not and interests factor in. And this is hypothetical so please don't attack me. 

21.) OOOOH here's a money secret! (Don't go to the store and be tempted to spend money.) No one has EVER heard of THAT before. 

22.) back to the allowance. she uses it for "gift buying." Why doesn't she just budget for gifts? $3 gifts, so I'm sure they are high quality items she's "gifting." 

23.) They don't go on dates. 

24.) Breastfeeding. REALLY groundbreaking tips here. 

25.) I can't tell if Lori & Ken own an 84 Mercedes or if Laine and Ken own an 84 Mercedes, but someone owns an 84 Mercedes and it purrs like a kitten. They accomplish this by changing oil in their car, cleaning it, and maintaining it. Or something. So yet another "tip" which appears in every financial help guide, ever. Preventative maintenance.  You really want to save money? Buy a bus pass & use public transportation. Vote for your city to invest in public transportation and infrastructure. It will bring prices down and it will help alleviate some people from poverty by giving them access to employment opportunities. 

26.) Pray. 

27.) Be organized. How can she be organized when she's surrounded by clutter? 

28.) Use it up, wear it out, make do with less. HEY, that's what I had to do my entire life! It's called "being frugal" 

29.) Cut your own hair. 

30.) beg your friends and family to watch your kids for free. 

31.) shop at a thrift store or garage sale. 

32.) Take your own photos. Weirdly enough, I can do that with my smartphone which apparently I was supposed to toss and so now I have to buy a camera and take a photography class. How much is she spending on getting photos developed and printed and photography equipment? 

33.) Pay off your credit card and spend in your limits. Seriously, NEVER heard this before. 

34.) something about not replacing her wedding ring? 

35.) UGH, just buy dental insurance! 

36.) It's actually not legal in some areas to wash cars in the driveway, due to pollution concerns. 

37.) Do you love to learn? And you have your uncle tape Food Network instead of buying internet or cable? You can go to the library, you know.  

38.) garden, but the gardening tips here don't save money. it's just "i like to plant ivy" 

39.) family library. Going to an actual library would save SO much more money. This isn't even a tip anymore. 

40) spend what you have, not what is projected. How can anyone spend money they don't have? Or does she mean like a credit card? 

41) be content 

42) buy used. 

43.) see if God will provide. she prayed for firewood and ... I don't know. God showed up with it? Story is unclear. If God is this responsive to her, can she please pray for something that we can all benefit from? Like, maybe an end to wars? Or perhaps just a solution to world hunger? 

44.) They couldn't afford private school, so they spent money on homeschool curriculums. I know an even less expensive option. 

45.) Every bit counts

46.) Pray. I think this is a repeat. 

47) don't change cars, she drives a Honda. So I guess that was Lori, bragging about owning an old mercedes that they keep around just for guests. 

48) they talk to each other about expenses. 

49.) One birthday party per kid for life. 

50) thank the lord. 

 

This was such a waste of my time and I'm so disturbed about the dental situation. Also this could have easily been cut in half.