Bro. Gary Hawkins 6: Dancing Cocktail Weenies

[Alisamer]

Why would they go to Myrtle Beach but not go to the beach? This time of year? I mean, I've been in January and didn't go out on the beach, but that's different. I went a couple weeks ago for just a day and a half (for the air show) and still made sure to spend an hour on the beach before we left. There IS plenty of other stuff to do there, but almost all of it costs money. The beach is one of the few free things there!

On the chairs - I'm wondering if he thinks the camp chairs will stack up better in that van they're trying to grift. Or else he's been watching too much wrestling again and is worried about getting a chair shot to the head with one of the metal ones.

Don't worry, Bro. Gary. It'll be OK. A little dust might fly out your ears if you get hit on the head, but I don't think anything will get damaged much rattling around in there.

[MarblesMom]

Bro GHaw is live again... and he just said today, he knocked on the door at a JW's home. 

If in fact he did that, I am chuckling.  I want to watch THAT video!

[keepercjr]

3 hours ago, Alisamer said:

Why would they go to Myrtle Beach but not go to the beach? This time of year? I mean, I've been in January and didn't go out on the beach, but that's different. I went a couple weeks ago for just a day and a half (for the air show) and still made sure to spend an hour on the beach before we left. There IS plenty of other stuff to do there, but almost all of it costs money. The beach is one of the few free things there!

I am guessing he didn’t want his boys to see those whores in bathing suits?  In one of his videos from yesterday he mentioned that his brother and family was also visiting myrtle beach too.

so I watched his most recent 2 videos although I did actually fall asleep during the 2nd one.  He talks about black people, their churches and missions to Africa where he has heard of missionaries not wanting their families to visit certain parts (never said why but something about the cultural practices).  He dogged on his brother in law (and his nephew) for being really smart but lacking any common sense.  He also said he doesn’t speak English as he never did well with it so he speaks hillbilly.  Listening to him talk he has a hard time finishing a thought, kind of like Trump.

One more thought... it looks like the same 2 people attending his sermons lol.  Quite the lackluster turnout

[FundieFarmer]

Y'all. 

This weekend, I attended a church where the pastor's name was...you guessed it...Gary Hawkins.

I did a double take on my sermon notes after I wrote his name. I admit that I was distracted during the sermon because I simply could not believe it. 

Not THE Gary Hawkins, but A Gary Hawkins.
Not the Gary Hawkins I wanted, but the Gary Hawkins I deserved. 

There was equal the amount of patriotic screaming and questionable preaching I would've expected from THE Gary Hawkins, though.

[clese]

I haven't seen any of garys videos lately because I. Just.can.not. anymore.

Anyway I caught up last night via this forum. I lol led snorted gawfuled etc etc.  Honestly so much laughter. I tried to explain Gary to the hubby but he just got stroppy. Tbh I think he wanted to fornicate,. ANYWAY

I decided to look at a couple of his lives and OMG! WHAT was with with the sobbing crying I don't want you to go to hell one????what have I been missing? What's UP with Gary? ???

[LouisvilleGirl]

$300 away from getting the vehicle GOD has for the Hawkins family!

[Candydandy]

$300 away from goal! Now what happens when said veehicke is procured Who will pay for the insurance? Gas? Does God provide it as a package deal? Based on the preachin videos I saw Bro should get a day job. I dont think a full time pastorship is on the horizon. Preach weekends Wednesday night but earn some $$ Please, dont make me cry! 

[Snarkylark]

51 minutes ago, LouisvilleGirl said:

$300 away from getting the vehicle GOD has for the Hawkins family!

Well if he doesn’t have it yet, how does he know it’s the ve-hick-el God has for them?

[PumaLover]

2 hours ago, LouisvilleGirl said:

$300 away from getting the vehicle GOD has for the Hawkins family!

Who watches this man preach and thinks, hey, I should give him money!?

[keepercjr]

1 hour ago, PumaLover said:

Who watches this man preach and thinks, hey, I should give him money!?

Sadly too many!  I just watched his last video - the last night of his revival or whatever it was.  He got *super* worked up about people “making fun of my god” and hurting God’s feelings.  It was accompanied by a lot of amens and preach it brothers. (Albeit the crowd was very very small.)  Also got a lot of the same when he said the all the Popes have gone to hell.  He next talked at length about how hell is painful and basically sucks and you don’t want to go there.  He also said he has children who are lost and you can tell that by the way they act.  As far as I can tell he is talking about Becky’s girls and I don’t think that is ok.

this guy can barely sound out the words in the Bible and can’t finish a sentence without his wife chiming in to give him the correct word, but because he uses the key words -KJ bible, hell, born again, etc, he is taken at face value and an expert one should listen to.

[Lillymuffin]

Ok, just finished Bro Gary’s live feeds. I swear to Rufus, on the 5/29 video at about the 39:00 mark, Bro Gary says something about the KJ Bible vs the NIV. I  listened a couple of times to see if I was hearing it wrong, but it really sounds like he says “Fox news has part of the NIV, and a sodomite has part of the NIV.” 

So much WTelF there, I’m not even sure what to do! 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

Bro Gary has got his self $50! Haymayun and Hollerluya!  He wants to keep the players coming! He is playin the players. Keep on keepin on Bro!

[keepercjr]

On 5/31/2018 at 6:24 PM, Lillymuffin said:

Ok, just finished Bro Gary’s live feeds. I swear to Rufus, on the 5/29 video at about the 39:00 mark, Bro Gary says something about the KJ Bible vs the NIV. I  listened a couple of times to see if I was hearing it wrong, but it really sounds like he says “Fox news has part of the NIV, and a sodomite has part of the NIV.” 

So much WTelF there, I’m not even sure what to do! 

He does!  WTF?!  I have no idea what the hell that means.

[Yogi]

On 5/31/2018 at 10:27 PM, Don'tlikekoolaid said:

Bro Gary has got his self $50! Haymayun and Hollerluya!  He wants to keep the players coming! He is playin the players. Keep on keepin on Bro!

Sis Rebecca must’ve given Bro Gary a good homeschool lesson in math. He needed $300. Some schmuck PayPal’ed him $50. He has 82 camping chairs he doesn’t want anymore. How much should he sell the camping chairs for to make up the $250? Answer: three dollars each. Seriously, you cannot make this stuff up.

 

[Ozlsn]

41 minutes ago, Yogi said:

Sis Rebecca must’ve given Bro Gary a good homeschool lesson in math. He needed $300. Some schmuck PayPal’ed him $50. He has 82 camping chairs he doesn’t want anymore. How much should he sell the camping chairs for to make up the $250? Answer: three dollars each. Seriously, you cannot make this stuff up.

 

I am just... I mean he'd still probably shift them at $5 each, so why not have a buffer to cover gas and unexpected mechanical failure?

[Yogi]

3 minutes ago, Ozlsn said:

I am just... I mean he'd still probably shift them at $5 each, so why not have a buffer to cover gas and unexpected mechanical failure?

Does he strike you as a forward-thinking type of man?

’Selling chairs to buy more chairs’ should be the next thread title!

[Ozlsn]

7 minutes ago, Yogi said:

Does he strike you as a forward-thinking type of man?

Not in any meaningful sense, no. Even so though... he's selling 82 chairs and is still coming up short?? At this point I think the Lord wants Bro Gary to go back to primary school, then get a job, then maybe learn a bit about the Bible by listening to wiser and probably better educated people and maybe, finally, then look at ministry. 

At the very least learn to use the calculator app on the phone, sheesh.

[UnFunderful]

But he isn't selling the folding chairs to pay for the vehicle.  He is doing it to buy more chairs.  But apparently the plan is to buy the camping chairs at Goodwill?  How many camping chairs does a typical Goodwill have in stock?  How many Goodwills are they going to go to?  

And why so many?  Has there ever been 82 people at a Gary Hawkins tent revival?  At the last services I think he could have just used the two he already has.  

And why does he even need chairs in the first place?  Is that an expectation placed on evangelists like this?  That they bring their own chairs?  

But really, the fact that they can't scrape together $250 to purchase a vehicle makes me quite concerned about the state of their finances.  (But still, somehow, they can spend $50 on a keyboard?)  Certainly this is a need they have known about for some time and they haven't been able to juggle enough to come up with $250.  How do they expect to be able to put gas in the tank?  Or do an oil change?  Or if a tire blows?  How do they eat?

SO MANY QUESTIONS.

[Coy Koi]

He keeps trying to sell those damn chairs, but doesn't even post a picture of them. That would be the easiest thing in the world to do. Good thing they're in the "sales" business, since they're such naturals at it!

So IF they can get together enough money for the van they're wanting to buy, that means their plan for the foreseeable future will be to be homeless without even an RV/converted bus. That makes me so sad for the kids, and so mad at their parents for doing that to them. There are some adults who choose to live like that and whatever, I guess that's their business, but when you have kids you have an obligation to at least TRY to securely house them. I wonder if the two boys left will leave as soon as they possibly can, like all the other kids have.

[Carol]

At some point in one of the videos he talks about doing good works to get to heaven.  He disagrees with this vehemently, asking his crowd of two, "You know how many good works I done since I got saved??!!  NONE!!!".

Yeah, Gary, I believe it.  You're disgusting.  

[Nikedagain?]

1 hour ago, Coy Koi said:

He keeps trying to sell those damn chairs, but doesn't even post a picture of them. That would be the easiest thing in the world to do. Good thing they're in the "sales" business, since they're such naturals at it!

So IF they can get together enough money for the van they're wanting to buy, that means their plan for the foreseeable future will be to be homeless without even an RV/converted bus. That makes me so sad for the kids, and so mad at their parents for doing that to them. There are some adults who choose to live like that and whatever, I guess that's their business, but when you have kids you have an obligation to at least TRY to securely house them. I wonder if the two boys left will leave as soon as they possibly can, like all the other kids have.

Obsessed with those gd chairs. OBSESSED I SAY. 

[Pink Muffin]

Ok, Bro Gary, you confuse me

Where is GOD moving? Don´t He like it in heaven? Is He going to move in with you and Becky in the church basement?

Why do you want the Players coming? What Players, hockey, NFL, soccer? Ah, I get it, you want all the strong, muscular Players to move GOD and haul your new chairs! You are so smart, Bro Gary!

Sis Pink on her way to the prayercloset, keep the (good looking) players coming 

 

[Don'tlikekoolaid]

The thought of Bro Gary preaching to the vulnerable  in nursing homes disturbs me!  What the hell is administration thinking?  This is not right.

[LovelyLuna]

heller folks!  I had taken a Bro Gary break back when they posted their last couple Pops Atrocksy videos.  I was beginning to feel sorry and anxious for Becks and how hard she was trying while Gary trolled in the background.  I have caught up here, and seeing as how they gave up on the jurrly am about to go watch his latest videos.  

If I was in a nursing home and Bro Gary showed up I would vacate the premisses if I had to roll myself out at a snails pace in an elderly escape. “Miss Luna the speaker is in the common room, Hello? Miss Luna?... Why is she trying to get out of the back door?"

[AliceInFundyland]

@mango_fandango I have been legitimately confused and disturbed by your avatar switch for the last several days while catching up with other threads. Bro got a bloody nose? Talking snot? Now it all makes sense....still a bit disturbed by those nostrils