Bro. Gary Hawkins 6: Dancing Cocktail Weenies

[Lisafer]

3 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

One would think that Bro would show some concern for those folks himself.  Does he donate weens to the needy?

You'd have to be quite hungry to eat donated weens from Bro Gary, I'm afraid.

[Alisamer]

I pray the LORD will be done... letting Gary sit around on his behind grifting constantly. Obviously the lack of success with his various schemes, buses and other veee-hickles breaking down as soon as he drives them, meager attendance at his preaching' events, oh - and the whole Bible! aren't enough to give Gary a clue that God wants him to work.

I'd suggest we stage an intervention - invite him to an outdoor prayer meeting, set a bush on fire, and have some old guy behind it with a megaphone saying "Gary... Brother Gary...  I am your God. Take off your shoes, this is holy ground. No wait, put them back on, eww. I have a mission for you. Get a job, with a regular paycheck. Keep that job. Live in one place. Pay for your own weens. My will be done!"

but I don't really care enough to stage that.

[LovelyLuna]

how dose G-d deliver camping chairs?  by owl?  I feel like Bro G had never seen or sat in one unit recently.  

[PumaLover]

Gary and all his ridiculous camping chairs inspired me to update my location. I camp regularly and I don't think I've ever spent this much time reading about or discussing camping chairs. @Alisamer I would totally help stage that intervention!

[FullOfGravy]

7 hours ago, General Jinjur said:

It's a good thing Bro Gary can't see me. I'd probably stir up desires that can't be righteously fulfilled.

Just so you know, I laugh-reacted, but was seriously tempted to click "disgust" instead.

5 hours ago, Dandruff said:

One would think that Bro would show some concern for those folks himself.  Does he donate weens to the needy?

No.  He proudly says that he has done exactly zero "good works" since he got saved, and this is one time when I believe him.

[Lisafer]

May I just say, people who use Bro Gary as their avatar are far braver than I am. I'm not even brave enough to watch his videos--just hearing about the lip-licking fills me with nopes. I only watched one, far enough to hear the "Hay-mayun!" and then I was out.

[SuperNova]

28 minutes ago, Lisafer said:

May I just say, people who use Bro Gary as their avatar are far braver than I am. I'm not even brave enough to watch his videos--just hearing about the lip-licking fills me with nopes. I only watched one, far enough to hear the "Hay-mayun!" and then I was out.

Hay-mayun Sister Lisafer! Not only are his constant tics repulsive, he just reeks of second had embarrassment. Becky's dejection is cringe inducing as well. I find the recaps and screenshots pretty hilarious, though. Smaller doses. 

@Alisamer I want your awesome artist's sketch on a t-shirt. Maybe get a couple of tiny demons in there.

[Dandruff]

1 hour ago, FullOfGravy said:

He proudly says that he has done exactly zero "good works" since he got saved, and this is one time when I believe him.

Is this a different number of "good works" from before he was saved?  I think I know the answer.

[Shoobydoo]

OMG. I was trawling youtube and clicked on a documentary about chickens-- which apparently has auto-captioning enabled. 

THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE NOSE. The chickens know. 

[General Jinjur]

10 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

OMG. I was trawling youtube and clicked on a documentary about chickens-- which apparently has auto-captioning enabled. 

THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE NOSE. The chickens know. 

I'm going to have a talk with my chickens as soon as I get home from work. I wonder what else they're not telling me.

[catlady]

Here’s how you know you’ve overdosed on Bro Gary and Good Weens:  you write up a list of what you need to pick up at the store, and it takes 20 minutes to notice that you’ve written Toothpasta. 

[Lisafer]

21 minutes ago, catlady said:

Here’s how you know you’ve overdosed on Bro Gary and Good Weens:  you write up a list of what you need to pick up at the store, and it takes 20 minutes to notice that you’ve written Toothpasta. 

Make sure it's whitenin' toothpasta for the morning breath!

[keepercjr]

2 hours ago, catlady said:

Here’s how you know you’ve overdosed on Bro Gary and Good Weens:  you write up a list of what you need to pick up at the store, and it takes 20 minutes to notice that you’ve written Toothpasta. 

Or in my case, I had a dream that included Becky last night.  It was very strange and doesn’t make much sense but the short version is that she became possessed and someone had to knock her out with..... a folding chair haha!  I swear I didn’t make this up (well my unconscious mind did I suppose).  I got g haw and his chairs on the brain.

[Alisamer]

I didn't dream about G-Haw or Becky, but Jill, Jessa and Michelle Duggar did appear in one of my dreams last night. I was walking into some brownstone-style apartment building in a city and had to go around the truck Michelle was driving, where she'd just let out Jill and a very pregnant Jessa and was fussing with them about "What if you go into labor?" and Jessa was all "Well, I'll have the baby, I've done it before." and Jill was all "Yeah mom, we'll be fine!" then they waved at Michelle as she drove off then walked in the building to visit whoever. It was really strange.

[mango_fandango]

Bro Gary has a friend who's girlfriend was in an accident recently. His prayer request isn't about her recovery... it's about the fact that she needs to get saved. #priorities

[catlady]

Bro Gary is a douchebag.  well, i'm not the praying kind, but i'll think kind thoughts for her since GHaw won't.  

apparently he's determined to keep his record of good works at zero.  loser.

[Granwych]

19 hours ago, Shoobydoo said:

OMG. I was trawling youtube and clicked on a documentary about chickens-- which apparently has auto-captioning enabled. 

THEY MADE IT OUT OF THE NOSE. The chickens know. 

Weren't these John Shrader's fowl?

[Gimme a Free RV]

Today as I was driving around, I saw (in passing and it was too late to snap a photo) Bro GHaw’s dream as a reality:

There was a large white tent top with metal folding chairs ( no camping chairs) set up and a drum set in front of them.  Outside the tent was a sign advertising a tent revival.  A few yards away, beside the tent, was an older RV and a pickup truck beside it.  

Gary would have been righteously jealous

[Granwych]

4 hours ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

Today as I was driving around, I saw (in passing and it was too late to snap a photo) Bro GHaw’s dream as a reality:

There was a large white tent top with metal folding chairs ( no camping chairs) set up and a drum set in front of them.  Outside the tent was a sign advertising a tent revival.  A few yards away, beside the tent, was an older RV and a pickup truck beside it.  

Gary would have been righteously jealous

Bro Gary might have added displays of toxic toothpasta and Crackerjack box jurry.  The world can be thankful that he isn't selling food.

[Beermeet]

On 6/7/2018 at 9:16 AM, Alisamer said:

I pray the LORD will be done... letting Gary sit around on his behind grifting constantly. Obviously the lack of success with his various schemes, buses and other veee-hickles breaking down as soon as he drives them, meager attendance at his preaching' events, oh - and the whole Bible! aren't enough to give Gary a clue that God wants him to work.

I'd suggest we stage an intervention - invite him to an outdoor prayer meeting, set a bush on fire, and have some old guy behind it with a megaphone saying "Gary... Brother Gary...  I am your God. Take off your shoes, this is holy ground. No wait, put them back on, eww. I have a mission for you. Get a job, with a regular paycheck. Keep that job. Live in one place. Pay for your own weens. My will be done!"

but I don't really care enough to stage that.

This could work!  I want Jello Biafra for the voice of the burning bush since he has experience being a bush and all.

 

[pamplemousse]

2 hours ago, Granwych said:

Bro Gary might have added displays of toxic toothpasta and Crackerjack box jurry.  The world can be thankful that he isn't selling food.

Don't be so sure about him not selling food.  There may well be a camping stove and refrigerator in that RV... *urp*

[Dandruff]

17 minutes ago, pamplemousse said:

Don't be so sure about him not selling food.  There may well be a camping stove and refrigerator in that RV... *urp*

He'll sell what he won't eat? 

[pamplemousse]

10 minutes ago, Dandruff said:

He'll sell what he won't eat? 

I wouldn't put it past him.  Oh, and does Becky still have anything to do with Plexus?  If so, there's your disgusting pink drink to go with your disgusting pink food...

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

Hey folks

So, awhile back, folks was posting pitchers of ween-based recipes, and I got inspired an looked up one I thought I remembered. 

It is in this cookbook:

Spoiler

It's a reprint of a 1950s cookbook.

An hears the recipe and a pitcher of the food:

Spoiler

Here's the recipee:

Spoiler

I'm pretty sure that by "luncheon meat", they mean something like Spam.

An hears a pitcher of the meal:

Spoiler

 

It turns out I remembered wrong, an it wasn't ween-based, but Rufus still layed it up on my hart to share with y'all. 

Sis WWJCD, who aint hungry no more

[Dandruff]

34 minutes ago, WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo? said:

I'm pretty sure that by "luncheon meat", they mean something like Spam.

Meanwhile, the recipe calls for fresh asparagus.  I find that very funny.