Bro. Gary Hawkins 6: Dancing Cocktail Weenies

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

@MarblesMom, I like Miracle Whip better than mayo, so I guess my eyes slid right past the mayo swimming pool. 

[Black Aliss]

On 6/10/2018 at 6:05 PM, AliceInFundyland said:

 I don’t understand the culinary or aesthetic reasoning behind making them stick up like that.

Perhaps the top of the page will explain:

http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/10PM/2.html

Oh, and when you are done with that page, be sure to click Next for more weens!

 

[AliceInFundyland]

2 minutes ago, Black Aliss said:

Perhaps the top of the page will explain:

http://lileks.com/institute/gallery/10PM/2.html

 

 Oh dear god. 

Let’s add Wriggling, Erect Weens to the thread title list as well.

[PumaLover]

Omg I was inspired by all these fabulous food pics and decided to make weens for lunch. They are vegetarian weens with BBQ sauce and spicy slaw on sourdough buns. Yum! Also the Lileks website is hilarious. Thanks for sharing it!

Spoiler

Weens

 

[Spanger]

I had a Bro Gary moment today...  I saw a black camping chair laying on the side of a busy-for-a-backcountry-road.  It was folded up, looked like maybe it fell out of someone's truck on the way home from a camping trip or something.

the thought crossed my mind to stop and check it out, but I do not happen to need a side of the road camping chair.  To be honest, I sometimes have mild hoarding tendencies, and I have to talk myself out of acquiring unneeded items, and today I did so by telling myself, "Spanger, no!  Only Bro Gary would stop for that chair!  Don't be a Bro Gary!"

[bertnee]

But @Spanger, you could have tried to sell that chair on Facebook for $4!!!

[PumaLover]

18 hours ago, Spanger said:

the thought crossed my mind to stop and check it out, but I do not happen to need a side of the road camping chair.  To be honest, I sometimes have mild hoarding tendencies, and I have to talk myself out of acquiring unneeded items, and today I did so by telling myself, "Spanger, no!  Only Bro Gary would stop for that chair!  Don't be a Bro Gary!"

I probably would have stopped for it. I too have some hoarding tendencies. I *almost* stopped on the side of the road this winter to get a snow sled. But it was a busy highway and I decided a $10 sled wasn't worth potentially dying over.

OK folks, so I'm writing a bad Bro Gary pome for Raptureversary and I'm putting WAAAAYYYY too much thought into it. I can't wait to share it though, complete with bad grammar and bad rhyming! LOL

[Spanger]

Thank you, @PumaLover.  It makes me feel better that I'm not the only person besides BroGary that wants to stop for these things.

Not wanting to die getting a free camping chair never even crossed my mind, but it maybe should have. The speed limit on that road is 55 and it's kinda curvy with a tiny shoulder, so unnecessary parking is not a great idea.  I was more worried about pulling back into traffic and getting up to speed before I pissed someone off than the possibility of getting hit!

[clueliss]

What was in that photo is an abomination to potato salad (and why I don't want to eat potato salad most of the time)

[keepercjr]

This is not a flattering picture of Gary or Becky.  At all.  Gary’s gut is hanging low and are Becky’s eyes even open? Not to even mention the sentence that makes no sense in his post.  

[Georgiana]

The HAWKING family?  Did Bro Gary not even catch the misspelling of his OWN NAME?!?

[Alisamer]

They are the Hawking family! They keep hawking expensive toothpasta and cheap jurry on Facebook!

[keepercjr]

Ahahahaha I was so distracted by my baby while trying to do the post that I completely missed his name!  

[MayMay1123]

::sitting on hands to not post to g-haw's page:: ::may have to walk away from the computer to not post:: ::omG, someone talk me out of posting on his page:: lmao at misspelling his. own. f-ing. name! thanks for distracting me away from the rods for a minute

[Sis Robto]

Maybe the church has the right name and bro Hawkins misspelled his own name on facebook?

[FullOfGravy]

15 minutes ago, Sis Robto said:

Maybe the church has the right name and bro Hawkins misspelled his own name on facebook?

When I was an undergrad, one of my professors hired me to proofread and format a book he was editing, the collected papers from a conference.  One of the papers had the lead author's name misspelled in the byline (front and centre, right below the title).

If a respected researcher with a PhD can misspell his name in the byline of a paper submitted for publication, it would not surprise me at all to find that Bro. Gary got his wrong on Facebook, is what I'm trying to say.

[Yogi]

I think ‘you cannot make this up’ should be the ‘this is Jill we are talking about’ of the Bro Gary threads. Because when I saw that flyer with his misspelled name all I thought was, You cannot make this up! And then I thought, I should take a drink every time I say that in reference to Bro Gary. And then I thought, I will very soon become an alcoholic.

I screenshot that flyer in case they took it down but I am happy to see that someone else has memorialized it.

[Candydandy]

Ok folks that there flyer sums up everything about Bro Gary  we love. Misspelled name _ priceless! Yes they are hawking, don’t leave out the folding chairs. That picture is just not good either. Plus a whole week of Gary_ what will he talk about? Maybe we’ll be treated to alive video!

Sis Candy

[MarblesMom]

BEEEEfore I got to the name, I was stumped at "bring the lost."  That is a huge assignment.  Gary expects us to ID and round up lost folks?  Gee whiz.

[Black Aliss]

So there's one kid who looks like he just stepped out of the cast of A Christmas Story. Is the guy in the white hat on the right another one of their kids? And is Becky wearing modesty leggings under her modest skirt, or are those ace bandages to control swelling? I swear, she does not look well at all. And Brother Gary does not even begin to resemble a noted theoretical astrophysicist, so if that is his real name he should change it to Hawkins PDQ

[PumaLover]

OMG I've been pretty down lately but thank you for this much-needed laugh! I literally laughed out loud. The dog is staring at me.

[Dandruff]

The last thing the lost need is a dose of Bro G.

Hawking. 

[Granwych]

6 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

BEEEEfore I got to the name, I was stumped at "bring the lost."  That is a huge assignment.  Gary expects us to ID and round up lost folks?  Gee whiz.

Maybe he wants the "roamin' Catholics?"

2 hours ago, Dandruff said:

The last thing the lost need is a dose of Bro G.

Hawking. 

And his (in)famous "weens"

[Gimme a Free RV]

10 hours ago, MarblesMom said:

BEEEEfore I got to the name, I was stumped at "bring the lost."  That is a huge assignment.  Gary expects us to ID and round up lost folks?  Gee whiz.

Ways to ID the lost:

• Sluttish women wearing pants
• Anyone totin' a Bible other than Kings James Version
• Men who work for a living
• Women who work outside the home
• People who use Facebook for purposes other than calling out people who use Facebook
• People who have enough money to give for a new RV but who selfishly keep the money for themselves

[Granwych]

1 hour ago, Gimme a Free RV said:

Ways to ID the lost:

• Sluttish women wearing pants
• Anyone totin' a Bible other than Kings James Version
• Men who work for a living
• Women who work outside the home
• People who use Facebook for purposes other than calling out people who use Facebook
• People who have enough money to give for a new RV but who selfishly keep the money for themselves

Let's add "People who don't eat weens"