Zach and Whitney Bates: Part 5

[freejoy]

Kelly was extremely annoying. Whitney wanted to say something but Kelly had to talk over her and wouldn't even stop. Let Whitney speak! It was their moment and their loss, so let her speak. But it had to be of course all about Kelly. 

[mollysmom]

Now I know where Lawson gets it!! It was like the "Kelly/Lawson show" They were both twitching & trying to interrupt if anyone else tried to talk!!!! That was extremely annoying to watch & reminded me why I can't watch their show!!! Lawson seriously annoys me more than almost anyone in the world. Ugh. 

[VineHeart137]

So sorry to hear about Whitney's miscarriage. I also thought Zach' s comments were very mature. He definitely isn't anywhere near as annoying as some of his brothers.

Whitney did post on her story about showing houses and said Zach tagged along at one point.

 

[SassyPants]

Sorry to hear of their loss. I hope it doesn't act as a trigger for them to double down on the fundieism ala JB and M Duggar. I'll say it until the cows come home, not having as much money has forced the 2nd generation Bates to at least work for a living. If I was looking to be a successful fundie, I'd follow the Bateses' path vs the Duggars. If you're going to have a gaggle of kidlets in the real world, you're going to have to find a way to support them, and I wouldn't be banking on a TV show to provide. Seriously, not all of those kids are going to have a TV show...I think money insecurity proved to be a motivating factor for the 2nd generation Bates to do a little better. It doesn't change horrid beliefs, but it does help them to exist in the real world more successfully. Successful engagement in the real world is what will help them move away from some of these horrific beliefs and uniformed ideas.

[TeaELSee]

I do feel bad for Whitney and Zach. They seem like a stable couple that enjoy each other. 

Whitney looks like a different person since they married, she is so much more polished.  She went from a nice looking young woman to a beautiful young woman.  Maturity has been kind to her, I think that happens with a lot of women.  Weight loss helps but it is more than that.

[Mrs. Figg]

 

I’m sad for her. Been there a couple times. It sucks. 

[coffeebean7]

I was sad to see Whitney's update.

Jessa commented on Whitney's post and said "My heart breaks for y'all". It rubs me the wrong way. Why not just say "My heart breaks for your family". I know Jessa meant well but I'm just so over the Duggars' use of "y'all". 

[freethemall]

After watching the live video last week, I was left wondering if they had planned to announce during that feed, because it seemed kind of spontaneous on Zach's part in which case I feel very bad for Whitney if she hadn't planned to tell everyone like that. The post today seemed like, "ok, now that the cat's out of the bag we need to give a more detailed explanation" but I hope this wasn't before she was ready. It was mentioned somewhere that she had started a bunch of IG stories to explain and then decided against it. If Zach announced it before she was ready then that's really shitty on his part, especially with his mother right there to use it for attention.

She mentioned they announced to the family during their vow renewal, isn't that right when someone saw the pregnancy announcement video online that was then taken down?

I'm also still wondering how many weeks the baby was, a lot of them have announced early so it easily could have still been during the 1st trimester. Which is still very sad of course, poor Whit.

[Ivycoveredtower]

I keep hoping that maybe Zach and Whit are leaning on his parents and on Chad and Erin during this time since the other couples also know what it's like to go through miscarriages. 

[Hisey]

I wonder how many of the fundies think that Whitney miscarried because she committed the crime of working outside the home?

[neurogirl]

@freethemall I had been concerned about Zach speaking without Whit's approval on the live feed, but he started by saying "Whit has been texting me asking if we should say something" and she was on her phone a lot during the live, so I've been wanting to believe that Whitney was wondering if they should address it there and "gave consent" to him talking about it, since I think it was still too raw for her to comfortably speak about on camera. 

I wish them a healthy baby in the near future, and am pretty sure they will still have a large family. 

[JoylessAnna]

53 minutes ago, Hisey said:

I wonder how many of the fundies think that Whitney miscarried because she committed the crime of working outside the home?

God, I hope this idea doesn’t get into her head, or her in-laws’.

[Ivycoveredtower]

1 minute ago, JoylessAnna said:

God, I hope this idea doesn’t get into her head, or her in-laws’.

If it does I have to wonder how they justify all of Kelly's miscarriages or Erin's. 

[Carm_88]

I feel so bad for Whitney and Zach, I hope that they are taking the time to grieve their loss properly. I hope for a healthy pregnancy in the future. 

[Pecansforeveryone]

I have often wondered how they talk about miscarriages, in general. I do think they have some compassion for those in their inner circle. I am very doubtful, the heathens in society at large, get any of that compassion. I think they use it as a chance to evangelize which I find despicable and predatory. "Oh Lord, we just pray that the godless heathens Whitney works with would bed brought to you their miscarriages and other personal tragedies." I'm paraphrasing, but yes I have heard fundies use similar phrasing when praying for the "lost world." 

[Joyfully Available]

5 hours ago, Hisey said:

I wonder how many of the fundies think that Whitney miscarried because she committed the crime of working outside the home?

Ugh, scary thought but legit comment. 

I wouldn’t be at all surprised if certain people in their circles thought that maybe it was working outside the home & not following the role of dutiful helpmeet to a “T” that caused the loss. Some of those people are so wacky, they may really believe that she lost God’s favor for not following his plan (as they interpret it). 

Possibly also giving her love of fitness/exercise a side eye... 

 

[Illmarryyoujana]

9 hours ago, coffeebean7 said:

I was sad to see Whitney's update.

Jessa commented on Whitney's post and said "My heart breaks for y'all". It rubs me the wrong way. Why not just say "My heart breaks for your family". I know Jessa meant well but I'm just so over the Duggars' use of "y'all". 

Y’all is simply a plural of you. It’s a commonly used word and in no way takes away from the sympathy Jessa was expressing. 

[JoylessAnna]

14 hours ago, Ivycoveredtower said:

If it does I have to wonder how they justify all of Kelly's miscarriages or Erin's. 

Would science work in Kelly and Erin’s favor? IIRC, Kelly had her miscarriages later in her fertility window, and Erin has a blood clotting disorder. Unless Whitney has a reason like those above, she may be subjected to the unfortunate speculation by those in her circle that working instead of being a full-time mom might’ve caused her miscarriage.

[picklepizzas]

Re: zach’s comments on the miscarriage seeming mature/introspective. This reminded me of that teaser the Bates’ Instagram posted recently, where Kelly and Gil were giving Josie and Kelton the chaperone talk. Did anyone else catch how Zach was giving them a hard time about it? He kept pushing them about what they did on their dates, saying things like “your love lasted 19 kids so...” it was all in jest but it struck me as maybe indicative of deeper feelings on his part. Maybe he really is questioning how bs his parents’ dating policies are. Good for him if so. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

3 hours ago, picklepizzas said:

Re: zach’s comments on the miscarriage seeming mature/introspective. This reminded me of that teaser the Bates’ Instagram posted recently, where Kelly and Gil were giving Josie and Kelton the chaperone talk. Did anyone else catch how Zach was giving them a hard time about it? He kept pushing them about what they did on their dates, saying things like “your love lasted 19 kids so...” it was all in jest but it struck me as maybe indicative of deeper feelings on his part. Maybe he really is questioning how bs his parents’ dating policies are. Good for him if so. 

It wouldn’t surprise me at all. He’s seen it all as the oldest. He did everything exactly as he was told with Sarah Reith and ended up broken hearted. He then found a girl his own way and he seems very happy in his marriage. His parents didn’t have chaperones and they are still happily married. Papa Bill and Mama Jane didn’t have chaperones and they’ve been married forever. When his children are older, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t bother with the whole courtship garbage.

[Feministe9000]

26 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

It wouldn’t surprise me at all. He’s seen it all as the oldest. He did everything exactly as he was told with Sarah Reith and ended up broken hearted. He then found a girl his own way and he seems very happy in his marriage. His parents didn’t have chaperones and they are still happily married. Papa Bill and Mama Jane didn’t have chaperones and they’ve been married forever. When his children are older, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t bother with the whole courtship garbage.

Exactly. Zach (and Michael) have seen it all. When you use the examples of Kelly and Gil, and Papa Bill and Mama Jane, and possibly Gil's sister and her husband? And now Zach and Whitney? How do you explain all of these successful relationships which have not necessarily followed the 100% purity courtship model?

I wonder if this has crossed any of the older kids minds?
I mean, once you start thinking about the example of these relationships for even one second.....it doesn't seem to make any sense.
Just a form of psychological control and emotional manipulation. Like way back when Gil was opening the car door for Josie and he said "good girls get doors opened for them" VOMIT.
OR when they did the BUB Live a couple of weeks ago, and someone (a viewer/follower) asked Jackson if he would ever go out on a date with them, and Gil immediately cut in and said "We don't do dating", OKAY GOT IT, THANKS GIL

Again, Zach, for all his political views and conservative beliefs and so on, man he seems to have truly grown so much.  Years from now, when the show is gone, and Kelly and Gil are older and things have changed, I have hope for Zach and in turn hope for Whitney and the kids, that they can be evolved from all this bullshit he got force fed all his young life.

[Letizia]

20 hours ago, neurogirl said:

@freethemall I had been concerned about Zach speaking without Whit's approval on the live feed, but he started by saying "Whit has been texting me asking if we should say something" and she was on her phone a lot during the live, so I've been wanting to believe that Whitney was wondering if they should address it there and "gave consent" to him talking about it, since I think it was still too raw for her to comfortably speak about on camera. 

I wish them a healthy baby in the near future, and am pretty sure they will still have a large family. 

It was my impression that one of the questions Lawson kept seeing was if Whit and Zac would be having a third soon like Erin and Alyssa. He seemed to show something in his phone to Whitney, then Whit and Zac were discussing something and then Zac started explaining what happened. So to me it looks like Whit gave him the go ahead. 

Too bad Kelly couldn’t keep her narcissism in check during that whole scene. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

“Do as I say, not as I did” won’t work for all 19. I say that about both the Bates and Duggar families.

[mstee]

I always thought it was so weird how the parents (duggars more so than Bates) always said “we made mistakes during our young dating years and we don’t want you to make those same mistakes!”   Like what mistakes? They both have successful, happy marriages (by all appearances). How is that a mistake? 

[Ivycoveredtower]

38 minutes ago, mstee said:

I always thought it was so weird how the parents (duggars more so than Bates) always said “we made mistakes during our young dating years and we don’t want you to make those same mistakes!”   Like what mistakes? They both have successful, happy marriages (by all appearances). How is that a mistake? 

when the Duggar's talk I think it's mostly Michelle talking about how she distracted the neighbors in her bikini well she mowed the lawn.