Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

38 minutes ago, NachosFlandersStyle said:

I believe the parrot is on an IV drip.

I agree. I think @Destiny or someone else pointed that out when we got the new options. I think I see (zoomed in, of course) a little IV stand with a bag of fluids.

[Destiny]

I agree. I think [mention=11277]Destiny[/mention] or someone else pointed that out when we got the new options. I think I see (zoomed in, of course) a little IV stand with a bag of fluids.

Señor Parrot is in fact on an IV. Pray for his immortal soul, because I’m afraid he has ceased to be.

[Timetraveler]

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

None of the reasons Joy gave for Austin wanting a boy were actually things you can only do with boys. Girls can't go with their dad to work or learn hobbies?

I don't get why so many people want a boy for their firstborn. That's not even a solely fundie thing; I've read that most fathers and a slim majority of mothers would prefer that their first child be a boy.

It is really stupid. I also still believe that Jeremy from Little People Big World (and maybe Audrey as well) was dissapointed that their first child is a girl.

They clearly wanted a boy: 

 

Gender reveal: 

 

[JillRodsEyeliner]

I'll never understand why some people only want boys. I knew a girl that kept having girls, different dads for each girl, and she said she still wanted her boy. She finally got him. 

[SweetJuly]

3 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

None of the reasons Joy gave for Austin wanting a boy were actually things you can only do with boys. Girls can't go with their dad to work or learn hobbies?

I don't get why so many people want a boy for their firstborn. That's not even a solely fundie thing; I've read that most fathers and a slim majority of mothers would prefer that their first child be a boy.

My husband comes from a family of boys. He only ever had brothers, and told me that he would feel more comfortable with having a son because he'd feel more "prepared" for this than raising a girl. He couldn't really put into words what exactly he meant, especially because he's not at all the cliché macho guy and gets on brilliantly with women.

I did, in a strange way, understand him. There's almost only girls in my immediate family and the idea of having a daughter (first) seemed somehow more natural to me. Although I've always been a bit of a tomboy and felt that I could relate better to boys/men than women, I had a hard time imagining myself as mother of a son.

This is why we decided to find out the sex of our baby as soon as possible. Although we firmly believe that it doesn't matter what sex a child has as their personality depends a lot more on individual temperament than anything else, and we plan to raise our kids with as much freedom to express themselves beyond any "gender" norms, we somehow had the feeling that knowing the sex would help us feel more comfortable with whatever was in store for us.

Needless to say, my husband is now thrilled with the idea of having a daughter.

I have to admit that I was relieved when I found out it was a girl, and feel more relaxed with the idea of perhaps having a boy next. Why? Still can't really say. Maybe it's just that having a baby is really scary and the idea of having one of the same sex as myself gives me the illusion of certainty and reassurance

This would explain why men prefer a boy first (beyond all the ridiculous "son and heir" ideas), but I am at a loss to understand why women too would prefer a boy first unless they have been raised in a very conservative society where men are considered more valuable.

[HermioneSparrow]

20 minutes ago, SweetJuly said:

My husband comes from a family of boys. He only ever had brothers, and told me that he would feel more comfortable with having a son because he'd feel more "prepared" for this than raising a girl. He couldn't really put into words what exactly he meant, especially because he's not at all the cliché macho guy and gets on brilliantly with women.

I did, in a strange way, understand him. There's almost only girls in my immediate family and the idea of having a daughter (first) seemed somehow more natural to me. Although I've always been a bit of a tomboy and felt that I could relate better to boys/men than women, I had a hard time imagining myself as mother of a son.

This is why we decided to find out the sex of our baby as soon as possible. Although we firmly believe that it doesn't matter what sex a child has as their personality depends a lot more on individual temperament than anything else, and we plan to raise our kids with as much freedom to express themselves beyond any "gender" norms, we somehow had the feeling that knowing the sex would help us feel more comfortable with whatever was in store for us.

Needless to say, my husband is now thrilled with the idea of having a daughter.

I have to admit that I was relieved when I found out it was a girl, and feel more relaxed with the idea of perhaps having a boy next. Why? Still can't really say. Maybe it's just that having a baby is really scary and the idea of having one of the same sex as myself gives me the illusion of certainty and reassurance

This would explain why men prefer a boy first (beyond all the ridiculous "son and heir" ideas), but I am at a loss to understand why women too would prefer a boy first unless they have been raised in a very conservative society where men are considered more valuable.

I come from a family of girls... my maternal grandma have six daughters, 13 granddaughters, only one grandson and two great-granddaughters; my dad is an only child but his cousins had only daughters too.. Somehow that makes me want to have a little boy, I think i would love it. 

That being said, I just want someday a healthy child regardless of the sex... If it is a boy or a girl that doesn't matter, I'll leave the gender crap to the fundies.

[mollysmom]

11 hours ago, Bethella said:

Lets see how well I can explain this. Podcasts are series of audio or video files that are posted online. Anyone can create them and post them on the internet. You go to the podcasts' website and download the files you want to listen to. Some are free while others are subscription based. 

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Podcast

One of the podcasts I listen to is Year of Polygamy (http://www.yearofpolygamy.com/). If you're looking for a specific podcast, google the name or you can google a general topic and podcast to see what you find. 

Thank you Bethella! That makes perfect sense! Easier than I thought! Thanks!

[formergothardite]

9 hours ago, DancingPhalanges said:

If it helps, this is the app I use (pre-loaded on my iPhone) and some podcasts I listen to, and like book rec's, they are influenced by FJ. 

I have to listen to "Stuff You Missed in History Class"! 

I did not realize that was a parrot either. I was never really sure what it was and I don't think I ever used it. 

[Otto Titsling]

So what we’ve all really learned regarding the icons here is that ophthalmologists and optometrists everywhere will be getting an influx of business in the next few weeks.

And yes, me too. Wednesday at 5:00PM. 

[Million Children For Jesus]

3 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

but I am at a loss to understand why women too would prefer a boy first unless they have been raised in a very conservative society where men are considered more valuable.

Not at all. My mother is a narcissist. Being a daughter was a horrible experience for me. I had a lot of anxiety about parenting a daughter. Boys were easier for me because I didn’t have the fear of reliving any trauma.

[Satan'sFortress]

I grew up in a family of mostly girls and really wanted a girl--for similar nondescript feelings like @SweetJuly hubby.   I really can't say what it was about.   But, as soon as I had my first, a boy, I did a 180 degree turn.  I have 2 boys now and have loved every minute. 

Edited to add:  It seems weird to prefer one to the other to me now, because how do you know you are going to get a "girly girl" or a "tough boy" anyway---that fits whatever stereotype you are imagining?  Neither of my boys is a "typical" boy anyway.

[ScorpiousMalfoy]

Tbh I can see myself having a daughter rather than a son. Mainly because my brother was a little bratty nightmare (right now at 20 he's even worse). There is no way to control it though and we'll see what life brings!

[Fascinated]

I have two older brothers which was sometimes awful growing up, but mostly great. So I really wanted my daughter’s big brother first. I shudder a little when I think about it now, but that is how I felt at the time. My plan went so well that I ended up providing her with three older brothers!  The scheme did ultimately fall apart though, as I never had the daughter. 

[VelociRapture]

6 hours ago, Timetraveler said:

It is really stupid. I also still believe that Jeremy from Little People Big World (and maybe Audrey as well) was dissapointed that their first child is a girl.

They clearly wanted a boy: 

 

Gender reveal: 

 

That video was just a bit sad - Jeremy more so than Audrey. She at least seemed a little excited compared to him. They do seem very in love with Ember ever since she arrived though and that’s a very good thing. I just wish they’d lay off the super lame Instagram posts featuring Ember about Always More. 

Some couples just need a little time to get over the shock of being wrong. My sister was positive her second was a girl because she was so much sicker than she was with her son, but nope! Baby will be another wonderful little boy. She’s excited, but she’s still a bit in shock because she only found out this week. Once that wears off she’ll be fine though. Most parents are. 

@Rachel333 We didn’t have a preference for our first, but we had a girl for our first child and we’re both really happy about that. She’s already a very sassy and opinionated little person (even if all we can understand right now is Ma and Hi.) We like the idea that we have the chance to raise her to be a strong leader among her cousins (both boys) and her (hopeful) future sibling. 

(Our “real” firstborn is our dog, who is also a girl. She’s also very sassy and opinionated. Our baby adores the dog, so it’s possible our dog may have more of an influence over Velocibaby’s personality then we did. )

[nst]

9 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

None of the reasons Joy gave for Austin wanting a boy were actually things you can only do with boys. Girls can't go with their dad to work or learn hobbies?

 

This is truly how she thinks and had nothing else to say...she is in the koolaide

[mydoggoskeeper]

As the youngest daughter of a father who had no sons, but clearly wanted one, I can say that his disappointment has colored our whole relationship, even to this day.   It makes me incredibly sad when I hear men express a clear preference for boys because I know the damage and the hurt of growing up knowing you will forever be a disappointment.  

[Playagirl]

My oldest was born with forceps 30 years ago. She crowned almost with my first push but I couldn't get her out after pushing for almost two hours, even after a lengthy perineal massage and an episiotomy.  The OB who was replacing my regular OB that weekend tried the vacuum but couldn't get it to stay on her head. Eventually her heart rate dropped and the monitors started screaming, at least that's what it sounded like to exhausted me. At that point he literally dropped the vacuum, grabbed the forceps, yanked her out and passed her off to a nurse who took off across the room to get her breathing. That first cry a minute or two later was the sweetest sound ever. She had no marks on her face because she was so low in the birth canal when the forceps were used.

When I was pregnant with my second I was hoping for another girl, not because I preferred girls, but simply because since I was already raising a girl, I felt confident that I knew what I was doing. I was nervous that I wouldn't know what to do with a boy which is ridiculous but was the way my pregnant hormonal brain was thinking. When my son was born I had a split second of 'uh-oh, I'm screwed'. As soon as they put him in my arms that thought disappeared and i fell madly and deeply in love with my little guy and couldn't understand why I had been nervous at the possibility of a boy.

As for the emojis, I only ever use the green upvote and the blue heart because my crappy eyes can't see any of the others clearly enough to make sense of what they are, even the numerous yellow happy-face ones, and I'm afraid to unintentionally choose the wrong one and send the wrong message. So I am hereby apologizing to anyone whose post I may have accidentally sent a negative message to as it was in error. I tend to just ignore the posts I don't  like rather than try to choose an emoji to reflect what I think about it.

 

[SapphireSlytherin]

11 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

As the youngest daughter only child (who happens to be female) of a father who had no sons, but clearly wanted one

I feel you. 

1st World Issue regarding Material things warning:  I was "given" a car when I was 16. It was a decent econobox (early 80s GM product), with regard to getting me from Point A to Point B. It was not fast. It was not showy. It was not, in any sense of the word, a fun car.

I really REALLY REALLY wanted a 1984 Trans Am. There was a bright red one on the car lot, V8, 5-speed manual, T-tops. My friend got a blue one just like it. I loved his car. I so very much wanted that TA. Begged. Pleaded.

My dad offered me a deal:  the car or college.

I continued to drive the econobox and went to college.

After my first semester in college, he told me if I'd been a boy, I'd have had that Trans Am, no questions asked.

[VelociRapture]

9 minutes ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

As the youngest daughter of a father who had no sons, but clearly wanted one, I can say that his disappointment has colored our whole relationship, even to this day.   It makes me incredibly sad when I hear men express a clear preference for boys because I know the damage and the hurt of growing up knowing you will forever be a disappointment.  

I asked my dad once if he had ever wanted a son. He said my mom tried to convince him to have a fourth kid by asking the same thing and and his response was that having kids for him was like being up to bat - he swung three times and “struck out” three times.

In his defense, he was a bit tipsy when he told me this and I found it pretty funny (still do. I inherited his weird sense of humor.) He also clearly loved all three of us, even if he wasn’t the best at showing it or really relating to us in some ways - he supported us during all our extra-curriculars and was proud of us, but clearly liked watching us play sports of our choosing the best. Additionally, none of us knew at that point that the youngest kid was Transgender. So it took about 25 years, but he and Mom did get a son eventually.  

(Still no male to “pass on the family name” though since my brother took our mom’s maiden name when he changed his name - dad’s last name is a fairly unusual one and my brother wanted a fresh start. I think Dad was sad about that, but he’s also smart enough and understanding enough not to mention it either. He doesn’t really get what being Trans is, but he at least still loves my brother and wants him healthy and happy. Can’t ask for much more than that.)

[SamiKatz]

I grew up in a family of all girls (three of us).  My dad took us fishing, camping and probably would have taken us hunting if we had asked.  We lived "in the bush" (Canadianism), and he would take us out and teach us how to find your way around, what to do if you get lost, what you could and could not eat, all of that kind of stuff.

When I was older and living with my mother and stepfather, he did everything with us as well.  We chopped wood, worked on cars, helped run wire (he was an electrician), learned woodworking and how to cook, clean and do laundry.

I can honestly say I don't think either man would have preferred boys, or we were told there were things we shouldn't/couldn't do because we were female. Nor did we ever hear of disappointment that there was no one to carry on the family name.

 

[melon]

1 hour ago, Fascinated said:

I have two older brothers which was sometimes awful growing up, but mostly great. So I really wanted my daughter’s big brother first. I shudder a little when I think about it now, but that is how I felt at the time. My plan went so well that I ended up providing her with three older brothers!  The scheme did ultimately fall apart though, as I never had the daughter. 

The same thing happened to me,almost.I have 3 brothers,two older,one younger.I remember my disappointment that my younger brother was a boy.I had been hoping for a sister.My husband also has 3 brothers.My father had one brother.Mr Melon's father had 5 brothers,he did have twin sisters,but they died at birth.Anyway,I did not have any girls,but I would have loved to have had one.I don't begrudge my sons.I accepted and love/loved each one.

[LilMissMetaphor]

I know Joy can't help her accent but I find it so tiresome to listen to.  I don't know why hers is more vexing than the other girls'.

[VelociRapture]

15 minutes ago, SamiKatz said:

I grew up in a family of all girls (three of us).  My dad took us fishing, camping and probably would have taken us hunting if we had asked.  We lived "in the bush" (Canadianism), and he would take us out and teach us how to find your way around, what to do if you get lost, what you could and could not eat, all of that kind of stuff.

When I was older and living with my mother and stepfather, he did everything with us as well.  We chopped wood, worked on cars, helped run wire (he was an electrician), learned woodworking and how to cook, clean and do laundry.

I can honestly say I don't think either man would have preferred boys, or we were told there were things we shouldn't/couldn't do because we were female. Nor did we ever hear of disappointment that there was no one to carry on the family name.

 

They sound like awesome Dads.

I want to clarify my point about carrying on the last name briefly. My dad and his brother are the last males in our branch of the family to have our last name - their father was the only son of three kids, so their cousins had different last names then them. I think their grandfather was the only son in his family too. There may be very, very distant relatives who have it, but none that we know of at this point. Between my dad and Uncle, they had three girls and one boy. None of the grandkids between my sister, our cousin, and me have my dad’s last name. So my brother was pretty much the last hope before the name dies out of the family completely. 

My dad briefly mentioned that he was sad the name was dying out a few years ago. It was around the time his favorite Aunt and Godmother had died and I think that was what was really upsetting him. His last name is pretty unique and everyone always knew he was X’s son or grandson based off of it. I think he really liked that and it helps him feel connected to them even though they’re gone. Other than that brief mention though he’s never said anything about it in a sad or disappointed manner. Sometimes he jokes about it, but mostly I think he realizes having happy and healthy kids and grandkids is more important then what name they carry. 

[tabitha2]

I guess Jeremy might have visions of a Fundy league soccer team when he looks at all these hardy nephews of his or Jim Bob has visions of Family Broom ball championships. Might as well make a sports team of the mass of them   

 

[potato]

Count me in as one of the people who thought the 'move along' reaction was a train, except I thought it was a train crash!  Like, "hey this situation/post is a train wreck let's just leave it".  Either that or a very sludgy slice of pie.