Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[Emily7057]

Has anyone seen the new people article about Gideon’s birth? It was supposed to be out yesterday.

[freethemall]

16 hours ago, gameofunbeknowns said:

I’ve gotta say I’m beyond impressed by the rather casual nature a lot of you moms talk about laboring here. I seriously take my hat off to you guys. I’d love children but the thought of actually giving birth terrifies me. I’m waiting for the day they can put you to sleep to deliver.

They did do the sleeping thing, it was called Twilight Sleep and was really fucked up and controversial, thankfully is no longer practiced. There's a great Mad Men episode where Betty Draper has it that shows how terrifying and awful it was.

For me at least, after coming out of a difficult labor and delivery I felt like such a powerful superhuman for pushing a gigantic baby out that now I can look back all "oh yeah no big deal". In the moment though I was a crying vomiting shaking sweating mess yelling "I can't do this!". The experience changes you, that's for sure, and changes your understanding of your body and what it can do.

[mydoggoskeeper]

17 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

I agree that Joy’s vocabulary sounds limited. I think it is just a product of her surroundings. We’ve seen Jessa’s vocabulary expand and writing improve as (presumably) her husband has exposed her to more reading. I think we’ll see the same with Jinger. 

 

This is the saddest part.  Unlike her sisters, Joy's vocabulary is unlikely to substantially improve.  Austin has shown no inclination towards education beyond practical skills and the only book he has been seen reading is the Bible.  Joy now has a child to keep her busy and she will presumably home educate using the limited vocabulary she already possesses.  Blind leading the blind.  

[Alachantal]

On 01/03/2018 at 8:50 AM, Ace3 said:

Oh my goodness. I legitimately thought that Move Along was a little tug boat. My life is a lie!! 

So did I  

[SassyPants]

2 hours ago, mydoggoskeeper said:

This is the saddest part.  Unlike her sisters, Joy's vocabulary is unlikely to substantially improve.  Austin has shown no inclination towards education beyond practical skills and the only book he has been seen reading is the Bible.  Joy now has a child to keep her busy and she will presumably home educate using the limited vocabulary she already possesses.  Blind leading the blind.  

IMO, it's the middle group of kids whose education was curtailed the most. The older kids had more of Michelle's attention and no matter how much I agree with many of MD's decisions, I think she is has an average level of intelligence.  Joy was likely the recipient of sister mom teaching, so a much more diluted form of education. The little kids are getting outside the Duggar Family education, so perhaps there is more hope for them.

[louisa05]

6 hours ago, ElToro said:

Except, no matter how far back you go on the mothers' lines, it will always be some dude's surname you are taking.... 

I would have kept my maiden name (dad's surname) but it was REALLY boring. My mother's surname was too weird in English. My husband's surname was the best- which is a shame because it belonged to my FiL (who is a bit of a prick). Ultimately, it doesn't matter because I'm making this name MY own!

This. And same with my maiden name. Really boring and actually a common noun. Husband's name is much lovelier and interesting. 

Plus, my maiden name is, well, not the correct name in the first place. My great grandfather going back on the paternal line was born over a year after the father listed on his birth certificate died. He was given his widowed mother's married surname but clearly that was from a family he had no connection to. My paternal grandfather insisted he knew who his actual grandfather was and what the last name should have been. My maiden name is literally a random unrelated man's name. 

 

 

[Carm_88]

I go back and forth on if I would take my hypothetical future husband's name or not. On one hand, I can see me doing it just because it would make life easier. On the other hand, I love my Dad a lot and I love my name; it's the only surname that I am used to having. Also, I know some women take it as a middle name but god, I have two and it's my grandmothers names. How could I drop one? Rock and a hard place.  Good thing it's all hypothetical right now! 

[singsingsing]

I'm a total opportunist about taking a hypothetical future husband's last name. I don't particularly like my own last name, so I've always thought that if I like his last name better, I'll take it. If not, I'll keep my own. 

[llg1234]

4 hours ago, Emily7057 said:

Has anyone seen the new people article about Gideon’s birth? It was supposed to be out yesterday.

I looked at it in line at the grocery store, it has nothing new in it. It's a full page with pictures that have already been seen and a little blurb with no new info. 

[Rachel333]

Yeah, your maiden name comes from a man too, but I think it's also your name, and it's the name you've had all your life until marriage (if you change your name). If you want to change your name to your husband's name and make it your own, that's totally cool too, of course! I just wouldn't say that keeping your maiden name is the same as changing the name you've had all your life to the name of the man you marry. And, again, if you want to change your name that's absolutely fine. It's the cultural expectation that women will change their identity for their husband but that a husband would never do it for his wife that bothers me.

[momofsquid]

12 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I'm a total opportunist about taking a hypothetical future husband's last name. I don't particularly like my own last name, so I've always thought that if I like his last name better, I'll take it. If not, I'll keep my own. 

That's what I did, but it was for the sake of simplicity. My birth surname was awkward (it's a moderately common name with a pointless "S" tacked on the end) and I do like my husband's name, so I took it. His is an ordinary name that you hear all the time and doesn't come with the tedium of always pointing out there should be a random "S". I feel no emotional attachment to names at all but I hate having to correct and spell out my name, so for me the simpler the better.

[Rachel333]

I had a teacher who married a man with the same surname as her. She said it could make paperwork difficult sometimes when they wanted her maiden name and she gave them the same name as her married name.

[SamiKatz]

One of my co-workers married a man with the same first and last name as her!  (i.e. Kelly Smith married Kelly Smith).  She said it always caused lots of confusion when ever they were asked for thier spouses name.

[Runningfromreality]

41 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

I go back and forth on if I would take my hypothetical future husband's name or not. On one hand, I can see me doing it just because it would make life easier. On the other hand, I love my Dad a lot and I love my name; it's the only surname that I am used to having. Also, I know some women take it as a middle name but god, I have two and it's my grandmothers names. How could I drop one? Rock and a hard place.  Good thing it's all hypothetical right now! 

I kept my maiden name as my middle name because I couldn't bear to totally let it go but I also love my husband's last name. It makes it a lot easier to prove to people that I'm still the same person, as my maiden name is on my license as my middle name. I use my full name most of the time now, and I like it that way. My sister kept her middle name and dropped our family name. Names are so personal, just do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't let anyone else try to convince you otherwise  

[TheMustardCardigan]

I think when I get married I want to make my maiden name my second middle name. 

[TuringMachine]

I think I'll keep my name. Both my mom and her sister did. Plus I'm pretty attached to my full name (you did good mom and dad). I think future husband would have to have a pretty good name to temp me to change it.

Side note: apparently my grandfather didn't want to acknowledge at first that neither of his daughters took their husbands names and would send them checks addressed to "Mrs [husband's name]". I think he has since gotten over it.

[Jana814]

17 minutes ago, TheMustardCardigan said:

I think when I get married I want to make my maiden name my second middle name. 

If I did that I would end up with 5 names. 

[SassyPants]

I had a very long, hard to pronounce, ethnic maiden name that did not match my look.

My hub's name is short, easy to pronounce, ethnic name that matches my look (skin, hair, eye coloring).

You bet I switched!

[SorenaJ]

I would not take my husband's surname, because I already have a perfectly nice surname. I miiight be open to merging, not sure. 

How often do you hear about the husband taking the wife's surname. Never. That's absolutely *bangs head against wall again* ridiculous. 

Apparently a recent study (haven't read it, might be shite) shows that half of Americans think that women should be required by law to take her husband's surname. 

[Londish]

1 minute ago, SorenaJ said:

I would not take my husband's surname, because I already have a perfectly nice surname. I miiight be open to merging, not sure. 

How often do you hear about the husband taking the wife's surname. Never. That's absolutely *bangs head against wall again* ridiculous. 

It’s worth asking! The plan is for my boyfriend to take my last name when we get married.

[JillyO]

I know a few couples in my generation (late 20s) where the husband took the wife's last name. Most just each kept their own name (like we did). In our generation, I only know my sister-in-law who took my brother's name. I will freely admit that I happily live life in a very liberal bubble though. For the average couple, it's still obviously much more common for the women to take the man's name after marriage. But things are definitely changing!

[Nargus]

I chose to take my husbands last name just because I wanted to.  I felt no attachment or aversion to my maiden name.  It really has nothing to do with who I am.  My family is still my family no matter what my last name is.  I wanted us and all of our kids to have the same last name.  

 

[MayMay1123]

2 hours ago, louisa05 said:

My maiden name is literally a random unrelated man's name. 

 

 

My father's father is rumored to have such a bad relationship with his parents that when he was in line to join the navy, he took the last name of the man before him. 

My daughter in law to be, her grandmother gave her sons the next door neighbors last name. We think she might not have known who the fathers were!

[feministxtian]

I happily took my husband's last name. My last name is long, hard to pronounce and decidedly ethnic as hell. There's a grand total of 3 people in the US with that last name. My husband's last name is short, easy to pronounce and fairly anonymous. No brainer there!

[louisa05]

2 minutes ago, MayMay1123 said:

My father's father is rumored to have such a bad relationship with his parents that when he was in line to join the navy, he took the last name of the man before him. 

My daughter in law to be, her grandmother gave her sons the next door neighbors last name. We think she might not have known who the fathers were!

The great-great grandmother in question was, in fact, running a "boarding house for railroad workers" (read as you will, ). The suspect my grandfather insisted was the right man had been a railroad worker, so who knows. I'm betting she was also unsure of who the father was so she just wrote down her dead husband and hoped eventually everyone would forget how long he'd been dead prior to that birth.