Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[Satan'sFortress]

The name discussion has been very interesting.  I have learned a lot----realizing the many reasons that people decide to keep or change their names when getting married. 

I kept my name.  I don't really like it---it is constantly misspelled and mispronounced. Plus, it is from the one branch of my family that causes me discomfort (Confederate soldiers . . . )  My husband's last name is really nice and easy to spell and pronounce.  And yet, when it came down to switching my name, I just couldn't do it.  I kept thinking that he would never change his to mine & so why should I?  That coupled with the satisfaction that keeping my name annoyed his crazy racist aunt.  She was horrified and questioned whether it was even legal for me to not take the husband's name. 

It hasn't been a problem for the most part.  Lots of family and friends still address mail to Mr & Mrs Hisname.  I do feel defensive--maybe not the right word---when it comes to my kids.  I want people to know they are mine & not just my husband's. 

If I could pick my own last name, it would be Baker.  Easy to pronounce, spell, and I love to bake!

[LadyCrow1313]

The name Gideon makes me giggle; not that I think it's a horrible name, mind you (which I don't think that it is), but due to the fact that there's a famous hotel in my area with the same name in it (The Gideon Putnam).

My first name isn't all that common, & some people do mispronounce it on occasion (ie, a stranger that I'm dealing with while @ work; then it's not that big a deal). However, I will occasionally get irked if a coworker does, & I try not to be a snarky beyotch & ask the person to pronounce it the way I prefer. (I'm not a snobby ahole, I promise.)

 

[AprilQuilt]

24 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Aaaand, hey - Gaspesian shoutout! Maybe we're related!  

Represent! An FJ cousin would be the best kind of cousin to find!

[singsingsing]

1 minute ago, AprilQuilt said:

Represent! An FJ cousin would be the best kind of cousin to find!

It's not often I randomly run into another person with roots in Gaspe! Truly one of the most beautiful places on earth (not that I'm biased or anything). Winters are brutal, but travel there in the summer and it's glorious. (Unless you like winter sports and such, then it's glorious in the winter as well.)

re: names - I'm the only person on the planet (as far as I know) with my name. There are a handful of others with the same first and last name, but they all spell their first name differently. I kind of like being the only one with my name, plus I'm used to it. My first name is common-ish (think not as common as, say, Jessica, but about as common as, I don't know... Valerie). So if I married a guy with a relatively common last name, I would suddenly become one of many with my name, and it would feel really, really weird! 

[Alachantal]

I took  my husband's last name when we got married. Because it's eastern European I had to legally get it changed to add the 'a' at the end. I regret it fully considering we would be married a year next month and we're already separating & planning on divorce. I mean I always wanted to get rid of my father's last name because he was an abusive pos and I've had zero contact in almost 20 years. But I didn't plan on marrying an abusive man and I didn't plan on getting divorced, so now having his last name just makes it hurt a little bit more.

[Seahorse Wrangler]

54 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

I looked it up this morning. Apparently the law came into effect in 1981, which makes sense - the women I know who go by their husbands' surnames were all married before then. 

 

 

According to people I know, it's awful for those elderly women who have spent their lives as Mme X and suddenly are/were being called by their maiden names. It's very confusing to a lot of people in that way.

 

When we moved here, I started to get all my government issued IDs and I was never told I could keep my married name since we were married outside of Quebec. My health card is in my maiden name but I managed to get my married name onto my drivers license. It goes Maiden name  First name   Middle name  Married name.

[Alachantal]

12 hours ago, singsingsing said:

The climate is literally the only thing I don't like about living in Canada. And I live as far south as you can go and still be in Canada. That said, depending on where you live in the States, the climate might not be all that different. Most of us live within an hour or two of the American border.

Amen. I live in BC, 30 min from the ocean and 30 min from the border. The climate is amazing here. I'm regularly going as far as Winnipeg for work and it's nasty going out that way.  As much as I hate the snow & cold, I'm seriously considering a move to cold cold Edmonton with this divorce

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

My maiden name is unusual, I hated it growing up and couldn't wait to get rid of it, I also couldn't wait to change my initials, as they are obnoxious when required to use for work usernames and such. Now I've been thinking about the fact that my sexist asshole father is upset because his family name will die out when my brother dies, My dad was an only child, and had 1 son, my sister and I changed our names and we both have very basic common American names. I've been thinking recently about changing our last name as a family back to my maiden name this why my kids could carry on the family name. I'm not sure how my kids would feel about it our last name is along the lines of being a Jones or a Smith, and my husband has no connection to his fathers family, and had very little relationship with his father. The only person I can see making a stink about it would be one of his brothers, he is very old fashioned and very traditional.  My brother does have a daughter, I don't know if she will be an, I'm keeping my maiden name kind of girl, they aren't exactly progressive, and she's 5, so it is hard to know what the future will hold. 

Also DH and I both have someone in our town with the same name, with DH it is the same first middle and last name all spelled the same with similar SS# thankfully the birthdays are very different.  With me it is DH's niece and I who share a 1st and last name. Unfortunately our alters have a sordid histories, including long lists of legal and financial issues. I'm constantly getting calls from creditors for his niece, we actually had a Sheriff's Deputy try to arrest me in my home a couple years ago, I had to explain to him that I was NOT the woman he was looking for. When he knocked and said he had a warrant for the arrest of me I was like "what for?" he said no this women, thank God he had a photo of her.  When he showed him I told him that was my husbands niece, she wasn't here, but we had the same name and she would give our address out when passing bad checks. After showing him my ID and explaining to him that I didn't know how to get in touch with her we have NOTHING to do with her, for obvious reasons, her father has nothing to do with her for he same reasons, check with her mom was the best I could offer. We told BIL and he said thanks for letting him know and for not giving them more info,  The local and county authorities, know now abut her and I's relationship and HER crimes and they don't bother me anymore, but I still get creditor calls 

[AprilQuilt]

1 hour ago, singsingsing said:

It's not often I randomly run into another person with roots in Gaspe! Truly one of the most beautiful places on earth (not that I'm biased or anything). Winters are brutal, but travel there in the summer and it's glorious. (Unless you like winter sports and such, then it's glorious in the winter as well.)

We were there this summer; I agree it's so utterly beautiful, although even in late August it was... fresh... We hiked up Mont Albert and then drove along the St Laurence from Cap-Chat to Montreal. The landscape is stunning and the whole trip was a dream. I love my family there - they mostly live in Montreal now but still have a house there on the water - so I really hope we can go back again.

[Carm_88]

I'm not close to the US border.  I'm an island! The weather is...eeeeek! 3 seasons in the one day?  In the words of my father yesterday "We're having an early Spring, but that doesn't mean that we can't have a late winter too." 

[singsingsing]

32 minutes ago, AprilQuilt said:

We were there this summer; I agree it's so utterly beautiful, although even in late August it was... fresh... We hiked up Mont Albert and then drove along the St Laurence from Cap-Chat to Montreal. The landscape is stunning and the whole trip was a dream. I love my family there - they mostly live in Montreal now but still have a house there on the water - so I really hope we can go back again.

I was last there in 2013! It's a long, long trip, but so worth it. I'm definitely planning to return. Unfortunately you can't take the train there anymore.  My Gaspesian family mostly lives in Montreal now, too. THIS IS WEIRD. I think we might be the same person? Haha, but really, a lot of anglo Gaspesians moved to Montreal. 

Actually... some of my extended family took a trip to Gaspe this August... DUDE. But our old family house has fallen into non-family hands (luckily the person who owns it now seems to be taking good care of it), so I guess you're not them. BUT STILL. WEIRD. 

[mango_fandango]

I find the surname thing so interesting, it seems to be common in the US (ok, on here at least) to refer to someone as, say, Erin Bates Paine, like they’re double-barrelling or Bates is the middle name. I was looking up Jackie Kennedy the other day and her Wiki entry has her as “Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis”, even though her middle name is actually Lee, and her gravestone has her as Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. Here in the UK it’d be just Jacqueline Onassis, née Bouvier (previously Kennedy). (I guess more people would remember her as Jackie Kennedy rather than Onassis, but it still seems strange to me.) 

My friend is from Bulgaria and so has both a patronymic and a family name (spelt the feminine way of course). 

This stuff is all so interesting!

[Runningfromreality]

7 minutes ago, mango_fandango said:

I find the surname thing so interesting, it seems to be common in the US (ok, on here at least) to refer to someone as, say, Erin Bates Paine, like they’re double-barrelling or Bates is the middle name. I was looking up Jackie Kennedy the other day and her Wiki entry has her as “Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis”, even though her middle name is actually Lee, and her gravestone has her as Jacqueline Bouvier Kennedy Onassis. Here in the UK it’d be just Jacqueline Onassis, née Bouvier (previously Kennedy). (I guess more people would remember her as Jackie Kennedy rather than Onassis, but it still seems strange to me.) 

My friend is from Bulgaria and so has both a patronymic and a family name (spelt the feminine way of course). 

This stuff is all so interesting!

One of the reasons I kept my maiden name as my middle name was so I could go by all three and not lose it. Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Sandra Day O' Connor, Hillary Rodham Clinton, and many other women I admire (including my mother) are often addressed that way. 

The only thing that makes me sad is that if I pass that tradition onto a future daughter, the middle name she would be dropping would likely be the name of my husbands beloved grandmother who passed away last year. But who knows, our children don't yet exist so we may not even end up with a daughter! That being said, I would totally encourage a future daughter to keep her maiden name, because I really do love our last name. That's part of the reason I took it. 

[AprilQuilt]

13 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Actually... some of my extended family took a trip to Gaspe this August... DUDE. But our old family house has fallen into non-family hands (luckily the person who owns it now seems to be taking good care of it), so I guess you're not them. BUT STILL. WEIRD. 

Well, actually the original place HAS fallen into non-family hands. 

*narrows eyes* 

this is hilarious. I'm English, so we probably aren't the same person, but I love it anyway.

[SamiKatz]

Two of my friends had difficult to pronounce/spell maiden names (Swedish and English with silent letters), and when they married they both took their husbands last names so they wouldn't have to deal with the constant mangling of their last names anymore.  New last names?  Brown and Smith.  From one extreme to another.

My first and last names are both Scottish (not on purpose), and sound very good together.  I wouldn't change my last name unless my husband to be had a really great one (i.e. one former boyfriend's last name was O'Neill, and I would have changed to that).

 

 

[tabitha2]

I love those Slavic surnames names that look like scrabble tiles with Random Ys and Zs every where. They have character  

[singsingsing]

36 minutes ago, AprilQuilt said:

Well, actually the original place HAS fallen into non-family hands. 

*narrows eyes* 

this is hilarious. I'm English, so we probably aren't the same person, but I love it anyway.

What the efffffff.  English from England? Yeah, we're not the same person or from the same family, but still, this is hilarious. I wouldn't be surprised if we were related somehow down the line. Obviously there's a genetic component to fundie watching.

[LilMissMetaphor]

On 3/3/2018 at 9:54 AM, mydoggoskeeper said:

This is the saddest part.  Unlike her sisters, Joy's vocabulary is unlikely to substantially improve.  Austin has shown no inclination towards education beyond practical skills and the only book he has been seen reading is the Bible.  Joy now has a child to keep her busy and she will presumably home educate using the limited vocabulary she already possesses.  Blind leading the blind.  

 

Exactly.  Maternal education levels are directly linked to the child's future prospects and abilities.  Consider Michelle, now Joy.  Joy's children are automatically unlikely to have academic success, not that the girls are going to need it anyway.   

[Jellybean]

Carry on here: