Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[nst]

39 minutes ago, front hugs > duggs said:

I think of FJ has a hobby. My husband plays some game on his phone, I read FJ. As other said, I learn a lot about varying topics- literature, culture, different perspectives on current events, and yes duvets vs comforters. Maybe someone goes home at the end of a long day and watches a film or reads a book. Maybe they meet a friend for coffee and have a conversation. I'm not saying I never do any of those things, but sometimes instead of playing my piano, or reading a book, or drawing, I like to learn on FJ about a wide variety of topics. 

I do somewhat see where some of you are coming from. Sometimes I take a step back and wonder why I really care WHEN Joy has her baby and why I want to be on FJ when it happens (honestly it's mostly so I don't log in one day and have to catch up on 20 pages!). I wonder why I do spend most days engaged in some conversation about these people (fundies) whose lives are so different than my own, who I will never know. But thread drift, and e-friendships, and everything else that FJ is makes it all worth it to me.

when jessa and i chat on the phone we discuss pottery barn because she can't believe I have never been to one before. 

 

1 minute ago, CreationMuseumSeasonPass said:

I'm going to share why FJ is important to my. 2017 was the worst year for me. My eyes went bad last February with dry eye syndrome. Imagine that your eyes are on fire and there's nothing you can do to make it feel better. It took 6-7 months for me to recover. Then, last December, I lost my job and my marriage fell apart on the same day. THE SAME FUCKING DAY. Talk about hitting rock bottom.

Thank god for FJ. It was my place of escapism from my physical and mental anguish. Yes, I came here originally years ago because the Duggars intrigued me, and I learned more about their destructive Quiverfull lifestyle. But, I have consistently stayed active on this forum and posted because of the vast community of members. Every one of you is unique and has an important story or viewpoint to tell. I learn so much from you. I am inspired by you. Hell, I laugh so much at the funny things you post. And, god knows, I've needed many a good laughs in the last few months.

Thanks for being there FJ members. You didn't even realize it, but you've helped me out so much in my trying times. Rufus Bless.

if I could post a pic of ben's bicep for you - I would  because that is how much I care

 

[CreationMuseumSeasonPass]

15 minutes ago, nst said:

when jessa and i chat on the phone we discuss pottery barn because she can't believe I have never been to one before. 

 

if I could post a pic of ben's bicep for you - I would  because that is how much I care

 

No problem, I'm already on top of it. Extra bonus points for the stupid Roe v. Wade t-shirt.

[nausicaa]

3 hours ago, flyonthewall said:

LOL one time I posted something about a couple, not criticizing them enough.. I forget the exact comment and someone accused me of being a leghumper, and now people are making lists. When you are on your deathbed looking back at the utterly huge amount of time wasted here and the BS lies you tell yourself about trying to contribute to a cause on this forum, you're going to kick your own a$$. This is so pathetic.

So you spend 100% of your free time training for Ironmans, reading Dostoevsky, and volunteering at a soup kitchen? You don't have any social media accounts and never watch TV or play video games? Cool. 

Give me some time management tips. My loser self clearly needs them.

[potato]

18 hours ago, Million Children For Jesus said:

I have no idea how one updates Wikipedia, but my guess is that there is a way to plug in a formula and it automatically updates, kindof like an Excel spreadsheet. 

As the self-proclaimed resident novice Wikipedian, it looks like whoever posted it used a nifty tool that automatically updates the age of an infant based on their entered birth date.  

I love reading FJ as an escape and a way to (usually) cheer me up from school/life and I find myself on here almost every day.  Everyone brings so much to the table and I want to thank you guys for being you.

[nst]

@CreationMuseumSeasonPass that is a great one and here you are making me feel good. 

I will make sure DD sings to you at his last concert !! if you love him 

 

4 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

So you spend 100% of your free time training for Ironmans, reading Dostoevsky, and volunteering at a soup kitchen? You don't have any social media accounts and never watch TV or play video games? Cool. 

Give me some time management tips. My loser self clearly needs them.

I have fifteen minutes before I have to leave for my art class...but I swear i have facebook, fJ and one more message board and tumblr open because that is just how i role....did I spell that right 

and yes I have dostoevsky on my ipad in front of me

 

6 minutes ago, nausicaa said:

So you spend 100% of your free time training for Ironmans, reading Dostoevsky, and volunteering at a soup kitchen? You don't have any social media accounts and never watch TV or play video games? Cool. 

Give me some time management tips. My loser self clearly needs them.

Time management tips

Know your goals. Make sure you're engaging in activities that support your business goals, both short- and long-term. ...

Prioritize wisely. ...

Just say no. ...

Plan ahead. ...

Eliminate distractions. ...

Delegate more often. ...

Watch what you spend. ...

Take care of yourself.

[nausicaa]

@nst If you're sick of seeing me on FJ, just come out and say it! 

[Beermeet]

@CreationMuseumSeasonPass.  I'm so sorry you went through all that!  But, I'm glad you are better and doing better.  I lurked forever because I'm interested in cultures/religions and I never saw a better place filled with my people.  I joined too because of a very rough period and needed the distraction,  I get it!   I never thought I'd stay or gain so much.  For all the reasons others have posted.  I credit FJ for helping me get sane again!  Idk what that says about me!  Rufus bless it!  

@CaricatureQualities. Don't worry hun, you probably just didn't know Fascinated and her personality, she was on hiatus when I joined.  You just may have missed her posts.  Great thing about FJ, it's a forgiving place to those who can reflect and ask to be forgiven for misunderstanding or say perving to hard on the Ardnts ( that would be me! Lol)  

I love you guys! . And, I couldn't care less how we come off to some.  They come, shit disturb and go without ever getting it.  Oh well, vive la interwebs!  

[LovelyLuna]

I’m going to start at the begging of this thread but I gotta say, HUZZAH a boy child!!!! eleventy!!  If a child must be born into this mess may they all be boys. Praise Rufus! 

[Bad Wolf]

We're not going to agree on everything, but I've loved the outpouring of support for people going through hell. Also love sharing the joy of marriages, births,etc. I tripped on my shoelace on Saturday, and face planted on a concrete path. Amazing black eye. Virtual hugs welcome.

[WhatWouldJohnCrichtonDo?]

14 minutes ago, Bad Wolf said:

Virtual hugs welcome.

Yay, hugs!    

[freethemall]

I don't know where this thread has gone but if we're comparing he'll stories I'd like you all to know I'm home with mastitis right now from breastfeeding and it SUCKS.

[kachuu]

18 hours ago, gameofunbeknowns said:

...From Jonestown to Branch Davidians to Scientology...no one left as a result of people saying “FUCK YOU YOUR KIDS ARE UGLY, YOR MOM IS AN IDIOT, AND YOUR HAIR SUCKS.”

Did you watch the 6 part Waco series? Or the special on Jonestown that came on last night? How insanely crazy. It's like a train wreck you can't turn your head from.

The Waco tv series was a bit much. I felt like it was a tv show (duh) just making money on a tragedy. But they also did a POV from the actual survivors (A&E- i think?) which i thought did a better telling of being a realistic version of the event. As i told my husband, they romanticized the tv series and made (IMO) David K look less crazy and more victimized. When i got done watching the tv show, i always thought damn just leave those people alone they weren't hurting anybody. But then i watch, the survivor POV, and you really heard the insanity of what that cult believed.

Jonestown documentary that just aired was super interesting because i had never delved into that before. I had no idea that his inner circle of women were the ones to plan & execute the killing of 300 children (HOLYSHIT) and the rest of the adults at one time. I also thought(sorry this is long-winded) that when they interviewed the third sister of two of Jim Jone's inner mistress girls, she blatantly said if they did have anything to do with killing those children, they deserved to die themselves.

 

18 hours ago, singsingsing said:

Actually, I think this is an important point. When I first stumbled across FJ many years ago now, I had a positive view of the Duggars. I wouldn’t call myself a leghumper, but I thought they were nice, interesting and overall harmless people. I was not educated at all about the true nature of Christian fundamentalism, had never heard of Gothard, ATI, the Pearls, etc. I thought FJ was a nasty place full of nasty people.

So obviously I changed my mind. And what didn’t change my mind was non-stop vitriol, pure hatred, or the refusal to acknowledge that the Duggars (or other fundies) are human beings and maybe even have some positive attributes and sometimes do good, interesting, or funny things. If anything, that kind of attitude only entrenched me further in my belief that the Duggar critics were cruel, unreasonable people, hating just for the sake of hating.

What gradually changed my mind was information. The truth. Seeing that the Duggars could be human beings with positive attributes AND members of a dangerous ideology and toxic cult. I really strongly believe that if we’re TRULY concerned about unconvinced people reading here and forming their opinion of the Duggars, we have to treat the Duggars like human beings. Otherwise those unconvinced people will not take us seriously.

This doesn’t mean leghumping. It doesn’t even mean ‘being nice’. But I do believe it means that it’s okay and even productive to have conversations about someone’s cute engagement photos, or baby names, or whatever, at the same time as we’re discussing how flawed courtship is, or the abusiveness of blanket training, or how looking cute and seeming fun doesn’t mean they’re leaving fundamentalism, it means they’re wolves in sheep’s clothing.  

I can tell you from personal experience that people will not take your criticisms seriously if you’re making the people you’re critizing into caricatures. That doesn’t mean saying anything nice about the Duggars if you have nothing nice to say, trust me! But I would argue that it does mean not hand slapping and lecturing every time someone says, ‘Oh I love her shoes’, or, ‘I’m so excited to see what they name the baby’, or, ‘Here’s a list I made of the spacing between Michelle’s births.’

(Especially that last one. That right there constitutes neutral information. You may think lists and spreadsheets are weird, creepy, or a waste of time, which is fine, but don’t come here claiming that it’s somehow ‘leghumping’. That’s absurd.)

And if someone’s reading FJ and they see us guessing baby names or commenting on someone’s cute dress and their take away is that the Duggars are great people, they obviously missed the other 90% of the forum and there’s really no helping them. 

Also, can I just say that this was really well said. It needed more than an upvote. It need a bravo 

[Beermeet]

15 minutes ago, freethemall said:

I don't know where this thread has gone but if we're comparing he'll stories I'd like you all to know I'm home with mastitis right now from breastfeeding and it SUCKS.

That does suck.  You got the antibiotics and the warm compresses going I hope!  Feel better boobies!

[SassyPants]

24 minutes ago, freethemall said:

I don't know where this thread has gone but if we're comparing he'll stories I'd like you all to know I'm home with mastitis right now from breastfeeding and it SUCKS.

I am so, so sorry, My daughter was hospitalized with mastitis and eventually needed surgery. She was one sick lady. 

Take care of yourself 

[Ais]

21 minutes ago, freethemall said:

I don't know where this thread has gone but if we're comparing he'll stories I'd like you all to know I'm home with mastitis right now from breastfeeding and it SUCKS.

Sucks really doesn't cover it, I had mastitis in hospital alongside a womb infection, it was the more painful of the two. In fact the birth of the 10pounder was less painful! I'm so sorry you're going through this, heat helped me, sending hugs and hopes of a quick recovery x

[ActualReality]

20 hours ago, AtlanticTug said:

My daughter is a month old. I have tons of photos of me sitting cross-legged in the hospital after the c-section, once the spinal wore off so maybe 8 hours after or so? My 2-year old is there and it was comfortable but I've always found this surgery to be no big deal and I was running a 5K once 4 weeks later so it may not be typical.

I had a c-section in the morning and was on a conference call the same afternoon.  That was with baby #3 and c-section #3.  At that time I was working for myself and could afford to take time off.  I gave birth on Wednesday and was in the office on Saturday.  After my first c-section the others were no big deal.

[libgirl2]

42 minutes ago, kachuu said:

Did you watch the 6 part Waco series? Or the special on Jonestown that came on last night? How insanely crazy. It's like a train wreck you can't turn your head from.

The Waco tv series was a bit much. I felt like it was a tv show (duh) just making money on a tragedy. But they also did a POV from the actual survivors (A&E- i think?) which i thought did a better telling of being a realistic version of the event. As i told my husband, they romanticized the tv series and made (IMO) David K look less crazy and more victimized. When i got done watching the tv show, i always thought damn just leave those people alone they weren't hurting anybody. But then i watch, the survivor POV, and you really heard the insanity of what that cult believed.

Jonestown documentary that just aired was super interesting because i had never delved into that before. I had no idea that his inner circle of women were the ones to plan & execute the killing of 300 children (HOLYSHIT) and the rest of the adults at one time. I also thought(sorry this is long-winded) that when they interviewed the third sister of two of Jim Jone's inner mistress girls, she blatantly said if they did have anything to do with killing those children, they deserved to die themselves.

 

 

Also, can I just say that this was really well said. It needed more than an upvote. It need a bravo 

I wanted to see the Jonestown documentary but I was watching The Alienist and then figured I would try to catch it on demand. I remember when Jonestown happened. I wrote about it in my diary! Its was unbelievable that this could have happened. 

[SassyPants]

13 minutes ago, ActualReality said:

I had a c-section in the morning and was on a conference call the same afternoon.  That was with baby #3 and c-section #3.  At that time I was working for myself and could afford to take time off.  I gave birth on Wednesday and was in the office on Saturday.  After my first c-section the others were no big deal.

I think having a long labor followed by a c-section, like many women do, it's far harder on your body than when you have a repeat c-section, for sure.

[NewOrleansLady]

23 hours ago, tabitha2 said:

They don’t as far as I know. There are plenty of fundies who go for hospital delivery’s such as Michelle herself And some who just hate hospitals on Principle such a Kim Coghlan. I personally think it had more to with not having a hospital bill in many cases. 

. 

Let me see- Austin and Joy are employed by the campground, right?  The campground, by necessity, must carry insurance on their employees.  It seems to me that they MIGHT have insurance to cover pregnancy and childbirth.

[Ace3]

3 hours ago, ScorpiousMalfoy said:

Sometimes I read about people's experiences with pregnancy and birth and it makes me a little (ok A LOT) scared to have children one day... Gosh, we women really don't have it easy...

I totally get that and respect that. I always thought we'd have two kids, but I almost died carrying the first one. Apparently my body was made for birthing babies, not carrying them...so one and done for us!  I love hearing birth stories because it's crazy for me to hear about all different experiences, especially after having my own!

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

14 hours ago, nausicaa said:

So you spend 100% of your free time training for Ironmans, reading Dostoevsky, and volunteering at a soup kitchen? You don't have any social media accounts and never watch TV or play video games? Cool. 

Give me some time management tips. My loser self clearly needs them.

**I beg to differ, anyone who spends their time training for Ironmans  and reading Dostoevsky, are like gluten free, vegan, paelo eating hipsters who were all those things before all those things were cool, and they only read Dostoevsky to be ironic, mostly because there is no other reason to read Dostoevsky until you are Russian Lit major. I read Crime and Punishment, and it felt like both, HERRUMPH!  Marches off to do go play toon blast on my phone, like the high class bitch that I am.

 

**Please note the sarcasm in which this post was created.

[SassyPants]

1 minute ago, Ace3 said:

I totally get that and respect that. I always thought we'd have two kids, but I almost died carrying the first one. Apparently my body was made for birthing babies, not carrying them...so one and done for us!  I love hearing birth stories because it's crazy for me to hear about all different experiences, especially after having my own!

I was a nurse, so I do not know why it surprises me, but the differences are astounding.  I have a couple of SILs who had their big 9 lb babies on or very near their delivery dates, and just went in and popped them out in a couple of hours, medication free. I never, ever had a contraction, ever. I was induced the first time at 43 weeks and ended up having a section for a barely 7lb baby. Second kid, same thing, minus the induction. Not one contraction, ever. I must have been hormonally challenged. My daughter had the exact same experience.

I always tell PG women to be prepared for any experience, because you just never know what will happen in a labor or delivery.

[dawbs]

3 hours ago, ScorpiousMalfoy said:

Sometimes I read about people's experiences with pregnancy and birth and it makes me a little (ok A LOT) scared to have children one day... Gosh, we women really don't have it easy...

FWIW, I think it's like MIL stories.  People w/ good things happening don't have stories.
  "My MIL is a fairly nice, well intentioned person who only sometimes oversteps.  And she buys me jewelry for all holidays" isn't a story.  It's possibly a humblebrag, but, really, it's not a story.  "My MIL is a bulldozer who wants to run my life, listen to this..." is a story.

people w/ easy births/pregnancies/deliveries don't have stories.  Or at least not interesting ones.  I mean, my story is 'pregnancy was hard, but, we managed OK--a few extra trips to get IV fluids and lost 25 lb in the first trimester, but, otherwise OK.  Then I was induced 2 weeks past my due date, and had a well medicated successful vaginal delivery without any real complications beyond some tearing'...that's not really a dramatic story.  It's more like 'hey look, I had a baby' than a story

[Fascinated]

19 minutes ago, allthegoodnamesrgone said:

**I beg to differ, anyone who spends their time training for Ironmans  and reading Dostoevsky, are like gluten free, vegan, paelo eating hipsters who were all those things before all those things were cool, and they only read Dostoevsky to be ironic, mostly because there is no other reason to read Dostoevsky until you are Russian Lit major. I read Crime and Punishment, and it felt like both, HERRUMPH!  Marches off to do go play toon blast on my phone, like the high class bitch that I am.

 

 

**Please note the sarcasm in which this post was created.

Oh, I noted it! 

5 minutes ago, dawbs said:

FWIW, I think it's like MIL stories.  People w/ good things happening don't have stories.
  "My MIL is a fairly nice, well intentioned person who only sometimes oversteps.  And she buys me jewelry for all holidays" isn't a story.  It's possibly a humblebrag, but, really, it's not a story.  "My MIL is a bulldozer who wants to run my life, listen to this..." is a story.

people w/ easy births/pregnancies/deliveries don't have stories.  Or at least not interesting ones.  I mean, my story is 'pregnancy was hard, but, we managed OK--a few extra trips to get IV fluids and lost 25 lb in the first trimester, but, otherwise OK.  Then I was induced 2 weeks past my due date, and had a well medicated successful vaginal delivery without any real complications beyond some tearing'...that's not really a dramatic story.  It's more like 'hey look, I had a baby' than a story

That is all very true. Each birth is dramatic in its own way though, and every woman’s experience is different. It’s fascinating to read everyone’s stories.  And, geez, a kid (or more) comes out some way or another and it is fucking amazing! 

[Carm_88]

Why do I spend my time on FJ? Because people here are hilarious, intelligent, understanding, and genuinely nice people who I would love to have a drink with. I've learned so much! I get so many book recommendations that my book list is overflowing (I've finished The All Souls Trilogy guys, I loved it). If you ask any question, there is going to be someone who knows the answer and then someone else who has a completely different perspective! At the end of a long, rough day, I can grab the wine and skittles, catch up with the crazy I've missed and laugh. If being happy is wrong or crazy, then I don't want to be right!