Joy & Austin 20: Baby Gideon is Here

[SapphireSlytherin]

32 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

I can't imagine a fresh post op mother would be encouraged to sit like that- and as a nurse, had I witnessed a post op woman sitting like that in her hospital bed, I would have discouraged it. 

Oh come on. Seriously? I have had numerous abdominal surgeries, including the equivalent of a c-section procedure when I had my ectopic pregnancy. I've also had my ovaries removed, a hysterectomy, an appendectomy, and a cholecystectomy. I sit like that in hospital beds, post-surgery ALL THE TIME.

Maybe that's one of the reasons the Duggar girls try to birth at home - to be able to do what they want. lol

****************

I had GryffindorDisappointment at 8:47pm on a Thursday and was home at 6:00pm on Saturday. 

[Otto Titsling]

22 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

This just breaks my heart.  I had a similar experience. 

I've heard stories that some women actually like their MIL, but it seems to be a rare thing. There is just something about that relationship that is set up for conflict, IMO. 

When I was headed off to the birth center to have baby #2, we called my MIL to come over and stay with child #1.  My parents are out of state, and MIL is local.  We were grateful to have her for that, I'll admit.  I had a very quick moving, intense labor.  When MIL arrived, I came downstairs to get ready to get in the car.  I was full on doing my loud mama bear labor moans and at one point in the middle of a contraction said right to her face "I want my mother!"  I actually still feel kind of guilty about that.

But as grateful as I was that she came to babysit, I was pissed that she wouldn't leave.  My parents came to stay with us the next day and SHE wouldn't go.  They could only be here a short time, whereas SHE was local and could see him any time.  grrr.

16 years ago and I am still mad. I wish Mr. Fortress would have told her to go.

My first MIL was crazier than a shit house rat. The woman stole a book of checks and tried to use them. Thankfully, I realized it pretty quickly and put a stop payment on them. 

I think that Rufus saw that and blessed me with a pretty great MIL this time. Oh, she's overstepped her bounds a few times, but never anything malicious. And now that FIL has glioblastoma and I'm an RN, I've become a built in support for her.

I also happen to live right next door, so it's a good thing that we get along.

[JemimaPuddle-Duck]

I don’t get the feeling she had a c-section, but you never know. I don’t think they would be trying to hide it necessarily, maybe just waiting to give more info. Mine have all been sections, and I personally would not have been sitting cross-legged and would be very surprised if nurses didn’t discourage it. It’s also pretty general practice now to wear the circulation things on your legs for the first 12 hours or so. For the poster who asked, it was not uncomfortable to hold my babies in any position really. 

A 2-3 day (more often two in my experience and the experience of friends) hospital stay after a c-section is most common in the US. My doctor released me in 36 hours after my last one. I had experience, no complications, and she trusted that my husband and I would be sure I took it easy and called at the first sign of an issue. I was SO grateful because I hate being in the hospital. 

[allthegoodnamesrgone]

As for Joy sitting cross legged she's YOUNG, the younger you are the easier these things are, I know most nurses and doctors encourage movement post op the more you move (with in reason) the faster you heal, and the less chance of post op DVT.

Now mother in laws, mine is great, love her to death, MY mother on the other hand. Small doses, very small doses are best, and only on good days, which are few and far between. 

[Fascinated]

27 minutes ago, Satan'sFortress said:

This just breaks my heart.  I had a similar experience. 

I've heard stories that some women actually like their MIL, but it seems to be a rare thing. There is just something about that relationship that is set up for conflict, IMO. 

When I was headed off to the birth center to have baby #2, we called my MIL to come over and stay with child #1.  My parents are out of state, and MIL is local.  We were grateful to have her for that, I'll admit.  I had a very quick moving, intense labor.  When MIL arrived, I came downstairs to get ready to get in the car.  I was full on doing my loud mama bear labor moans and at one point in the middle of a contraction said right to her face "I want my mother!"  I actually still feel kind of guilty about that.

But as grateful as I was that she came to babysit, I was pissed that she wouldn't leave.  My parents came to stay with us the next day and SHE wouldn't go.  They could only be here a short time, whereas SHE was local and could see him any time.  grrr.

16 years ago and I am still mad. I wish Mr. Fortress would have told her to go.

And this breaks my heart. I get it. I did not like my in-laws at all. At all. But, as I have pointed out repeatedly on FJ, I only have sons. One is single, one is married and one is separated. I have a very good relationship with my soon-to-be ex-daughter-in-law. We have never been super close but have done pretty well, under the circumstances. I think we both like each other more now that they are separated. But it’s my other daughter-in-law that I want to mention. I have talked about her before. We truly love each other. I am so lucky to have this incredible woman feel about me (and my husband) the way she does.  

It can be a beautiful thing. When it isn’t, and it so often isn’t, I tend to blame the MIL. Sometimes they have a hard time letting go. When your son marries, his wife must become his primary concern, and I think that’s hard for some mums to accept. But sometimes the issue lies with the daughter-in-law. And, of course, sometimes their husbands cannot navigate the strife and make matters worse.

i don’t really know where I’m going with this. I will never be the mother of a daughter.  So I must rely on having a great relationship with my sons’ wives. I’m so lucky to have that.  It hurts to read posts about mothers-in-law with regards to seeing their grandchildren. But I understand. We aren’t your mums. 

[mizandry]

3 hours ago, new espadrille said:

Here are the difference between the grandkids' ages.

Turd & Anna
Mackynzie - Michael: 1 yr, 8 mos, 7 days
Michael - Marcus: 1 yr, 11 mos, 18 days
Marcus - Meredith: 2 yrs, 14 days
Meredith - Mason: 2 yrs, 2 mos, 17 days

Jill & Derick
Israel - Samuel : 2 yrs, 3 mos, 2 days

Jessa & Ben:
Spurgeon - Henry: 1 yr, 3 mos, 1 day

WOOOAH now, careful... the Duggars might think you're a fan!!! 

2 hours ago, Rachel333 said:

I find it amusing when the fundies and the crunchy liberals meet up on these issues.

All I can really say is, horseshoe theory~

1 hour ago, CaricatureQualities said:

Yeah, see that is the thing...full on "snark" and assholery with no compassion can just comes across and ignorant and mean. Michelle likely meant that having an infant that starts off as a good 10lb chunk is a good start to his life because, you know, it is. You generally want babies to eat and gain weight and grow. Implying that her main concern is having her daughters pussy stretched to make way for more is sort of lewd and it depicts Michelle as more of a monster than she is.  Personally I am not offended by the comment and I personally find it sort of funny (I can handle lewd and have sort of a sick sense of humour sometimes) and I also know that the Duggars are a part of a culture that does see women as baby making machines and not much else... but I don't really think it's an honest comment and it's not one I would make here and certainly not on facebook if my goal was to get information out and start constructive dialogue. 

Very well put - I agree. I think it's important to note that Michelle didn't actually say it was a good way to start out, but I can see how it could be misheard if one is just doing a quick skim over a painful and awkward marketing video. She actually said, "That's one way to start out!" 

I think Michelle was just commending Joy for delivering such a massive baby and taking a moment to acknowledge what a rough delivery that must have been by virtue of his size. My first reaction was, "Oh wow, she gives a shit!"

When I saw what Gideon's weight was and told my spouse, we were both wide-eyed with horror and wondering how the hell she was able to deliver a kid this big without major complications.  It was a relief to us when Amy posted the pictures verifying that she ultimately went to the hospital.

Michelle's remark was actually the one thing I wasn't feeling snarky and uncomfortable about with this video; I would have commented on it as well if I were congratulating someone who just went through carrying and birthing a 22" long, over 10 lb baby at 5'1, especially when she's 20 and has a short torso and it's her first pregnancy and she's my part-time daughter.  

[SassyPants]

22 minutes ago, AtlanticTug said:

Why? It was comfortable that way, and I had the catheter still in and didn't bother me. I was walking to the NICU 10 hrs after my c-section and no nurse discouraged it. In fact my obstetrician saw me and had a chat with me in the hall and said it was great how I was up and around and how it was the reason I healed so quickly each time.

Actually in 1990 I was up and walking within 4 hours of my delivery- IV and catheter bag in tow. Sitting in cobbler's position stretches the thighs/hips and pulls on the lower abdomen (think core training) much like lifting heavy items.  Pulling on a fresh post op area would not be encouraged-

[SapphireSlytherin]

My MIL's first words to me were, "Why in the world would you marry a loser like him?"

It went downhill from there.

[Otto Titsling]

6 minutes ago, SassyPants said:

Actually in 1990 I was up and walking within 4 hours of my delivery- IV and catheter bag in tow. Sitting in cobbler's position stretches the thighs/hips and pulls on the lower abdomen (think core training) much like lifting heavy items.  Pulling on a fresh post op area would not be encouraged-

I went out for a cigarette a few hours after my son was born. I wasn't breastfeeding and had 40 stitches. I deserved it!

But I did use a wheelchair. 

[Fascinated]

I haven’t watched JB and Michelle’s congratulatory video yet but, just from the still pic above, holy shit, Michelle looks good, doesn’t she?  She looks young and in no way outwardly compromised from birthing a plethora of babies.  She is, unfortunately, a shining beacon for the quiverfull movement. A movement of which they aren’t a part, if I recall correctly. Hahahahaha. 

[Jaedzia]

I haven’t posted in a while but mnl horror stories is bringing me out. I hate my mnl. I married an only child. After the birth of my firstborn,  she told me to divorce my husband, to give her my firstborn, and she would be the daughter she never had.  That my daughter didn’t need me and that she and my husband would raise her.

 The funniest thing is my daughter can’t stand her now. Lol. 

[Taylurker]

10 and even 11 pound babies are entirely possible to give birth to vaginally to with ease, so just because Gideon weighed 10lbs at birth doesn't mean he was a c-section birth. Is that really what Pickles is basing her statement on? Or is it just another rumor from one of her "sources"?

Anyway, if he was a c-section birth, for the next baby I hope she tries for a VBAC **with a properly trained physician** please, which in Arkansas means with a CNM or OB, and in the hospital. 

And as much as I like to snark on the Duggars, I'm glad mom & baby are doing well.  I hope all of these girls enjoy being a mom more than they did being a sister-mom.

[HarleyQuinn]

On 27/02/2018 at 9:13 PM, freethemall said:

I agree, and have to think Pickles has never given birth (she's pretty young, isn't she?) if she's freaking out about how Joy and the baby look.

 

Pickles is in her 50's and by her own admission, she's been a teacher and had foster kids. She's just being dramatic, as usual. I have no idea if she's ever given birth, I doubt it. She probably would've mentioned it at some point.

I'm really put off by Pickles suggesting her "kitty gets stretched" right away. 

[CaricatureQualities]

19 minutes ago, mizandry said:

Very well put - I agree. I think it's important to note that Michelle didn't actually say it was a good way to start out, but I can see how it could be misheard if one is just doing a quick skim over a painful and awkward marketing video. She actually said, "That's one way to start out!" 

Thank you @mizandry and @HurricaneBells for pointing that out. I hadn't actually watched the congratulatory video (because I've seen so many what's the difference) before posting, but I've seen it now.  I was commenting  more on Pickles comment as shared by @RubyRei than Michelle's original comment  and I think my original post still makes the point I wanted but it's good to be accurate!

[Otto Titsling]

13 minutes ago, Jaedzia said:

I haven’t posted in a while but mnl horror stories is bringing me out. I hate my mnl. I married an only child. After the birth of my firstborn,  she told me to divorce my husband, to give her my firstborn, and she would be the daughter she never had.  That my daughter didn’t need me and that she and my husband would raise her.

 The funniest thing is my daughter can’t stand her now. Lol. 

Rufus bless! I'd have tossed her out of my house and told her to never come back. That's just insane!

I hope your husband told her off. 

[Beermeet]

5 hours ago, LimeKitty said:

You still here? Thought you were packing up and heading to Cuba. 

Why the fuck are you here at FJ?  Just to....wait for it.....shit disturb?  And love onTrump or something?  What is your deal?  

ETA:

 

[Shadoewolf]

Funny this comes up as this evening while I was looking for something else, I ran across photos of me sitting cross legged holding Middle Wolfie just hours after her rather tough vaginal birth. She wasn't heavy per se but she had really broad shoulders. 

With the birth pool comment I hope for all of them that it wasn't an emergency transfer.  Based on one of Amy's pics though, perhaps he was forceps? Which with a 10 pounder, owch!! Hope she had good drugs!

[mizandry]

5 minutes ago, CaricatureQualities said:

Thank you @mizandry and @HurricaneBells for pointing that out. I hadn't actually watched the congratulatory video (because I've seen so many what's the difference) before posting, but I've seen it now.  I was commenting  more on Pickles comment as shared by @RubyRei than Michelle's original comment  and I think my original post still makes the point I wanted but it's good to be accurate!

Sure thing! I'm kicking myself a bit for not contextualizing my comment appropriately.

I assumed the misunderstanding came from Pickles mishearing - I check her posts on Facebook every so often, so I can see how the misinformation could spread pretty quickly for others who don't like to go to the direct source (definitely understandable!). It's a small, but somewhat significant, mishearing on Pickles' part; I think she got too BEC with her criticisms about that remark and misrepresented what was actually conveyed, so I felt it was important to make sure you and other users on FJ got the correct information.

[Jaedzia]

9 minutes ago, Otto Titsling said:

Rufus bless! I'd have tossed her out of my house and told her to never come back. That's just insane!

I hope your husband told her off. 

He did at the time. It still his mother and it’s been hard on him. Not just that instance. There has been many things she has done to me.  That was just the worse.  We have an agreement now that she can come over whenever he wants  but he keeps her in his man cave. Like I said my daughter won’t have anything to do with her. My son barely.  My husband can only tolerate her for a few hours before he gets rid of her. She’s just the most narcissistic person you will meet. 

[Otto Titsling]

2 minutes ago, Jaedzia said:

He did at the time. It still his mother and it’s been hard on him. Not just that instance. There has been many things she has done to me.  That was just the worse.  We have agreement now that she can come over whenever he wants  but he keeps her in his man cave. Like I said my daughter won’t have anything to do with her. My son barely.  My husband can only tolerate her for a few hours before he gets rid of her. She’s just the most narcissistic person you will meet. 

That's so sad for your husband. But it sounds like you're his champion and soft spot to fall back on. Carry on!

[wendy-sparkles]

Went to wiki to refresh myself on Gideon and thought this was interesting. Although obviously they could have just liked the name/ the character, and not necessarily be trying to make some sort of anti-Catholic statement.

[Shadoewolf]

My MIL pretty much delivered my son so no big deal there. What I hate most is her enabling and the constant excuses she makes for Hubby when he royally screws up. Over 30 years old and he still can't handle confrontation or accept consequences.  I've got very little filter in my normal life so I've gone head to head with her quite a few times.   BUT when it comes to my kids, including the ones fathered by my ex, she loves them all equally and unconditionally. She is spending a small fortune this summer to fly up for Oldest's graduation because she works and the ceremony is mid-week.  And she's certainly been more involved than any of the other sets of grandparents, (with the exception of my mom, who we lost 2 years ago).  So while she sometimes drives me bonkers, she's got a good heart.

 

[tabitha2]

I doubt Joy is that much for  deep and pretentious meanings in baby names like Her older sisters are. Because she is not either of those things to begin with and doesn’t front  like they tend to do. Gideon is a strong manly Old Testament GI Joe and they think it’s a fitting name for their boy.  

[CaricatureQualities]

9 minutes ago, mizandry said:

I assumed the misunderstanding came from Pickles mishearing - I check her posts on Facebook every so often, so I can see how the misinformation could spread pretty quickly for others who don't like to go to the direct source (definitely understandable!). It's a small, but somewhat significant, mishearing on Pickles' part; I think she got too BEC with her criticisms about that remark and misrepresented what was actually conveyed, so I felt it was important to make sure you and other users on FJ got the correct information.

I agree totally. The wee misunderstanding did come from Pickles mishearing. I think the moral of the story here is it's all Pickles fault..lol!

But seriously,  next time something comes up from Pickles I'm going over there myself to wade through all the shit and see for myself because it obviously takes all of us to go through it with a fine tooth comb. (I was just there and I couldn't even find what I was looking for aaarg.) Point is, you are right, small details can be significant and  too much BEC can misrepresent what is trying to be conveyed, and misinformation can spread quickly. We must be vigilant. I think we did manage to turn it into constructive dialogue though 

[Kailash]

I am a lucky one, and I love my MIL a lot. In many ways she has been more of a mom to me than either my bio or adopted mom. She’s not perfect, obviously, but she is a great MIL. I felt comfortable being myself around her from day one. She has always believed in me and trusted my parenting skills, helping me trust myself. I feel sorry for women who don’t like their MIL. It makes their life so much harder. (Not placing blame, it’s just unfortunate for all.)