Dillards 50: The big 5-0!

[mizandry]

I like the pictures of Izzy and Sam acknowledging each other's existence 

They're cute playing together 

[candygirl200413]

My parents actually still call eachother mom and dad in front of us (and we're almost 25 years old and up!). I used to think it was weird just cause my friends parents would call each other their first name but I didn't get they did it because they just didn't want us to try to call them by their first names.

 

[sta_sha]

3 hours ago, Daisy0322 said:

Ick I know I hate that. I refer to my husband as daddy to our son. Like, "Daddy is home!" Or "let's ask daddy to read to you." but if I'm talking to him I call him by his name because he's my husband, not my father. 

So much this! Before the boys were born my husband and I actually talked about this. We’re mommy and daddy to the kids but names are a must when speaking to each other. It was important to me. Yes, now I’m mommy, but I’m also still me- a person with my own identity. 

[Kangaroo]

5 hours ago, VineHeart137 said:

Also curious if Izzy actually watches Paw Patrol or if they just thought "Oh look a cute dog helmet."

We've seen Josie and the youngest Bates boy wearing Paw patrol clothes/merchandise in the past.

Spoiler

Looks like it's Fundy approved.

[Four is Enough]

6 hours ago, viii said:

My sister and her husband have always referred to each other by their names in front of their daughter (whose 2) but the other day when my niece wanted something she was like, "Dad... Dad?" and getting no answer, upped it by shouting, "MIKE... MICHAEL!!" 

My brother was firstborn, and called my mother "honey" because that's what my dad called her... he didn't learn Mom until I came along.

When I refer to my husband to my kids, I call him "your Dad".. and while my sister calls OUR father "Pap" like all the grandchildren do, I call him "dad"

[brogue]

Now that my siblings and I are all adults (aged 24-30), we have a mix of names for our parents. Mostly mum and dad, but a lot of weird, name based nicknames have come up through the years (v rye, stink etc), but it’s like that with us four kids as well so it’s also a family thing in general. 

[LacyMay]

I'm a little late to the party. But I wonder how Dwreck felt when the DesiringGod Twitter account basically said that the tweet had nothing to do with mental illness and was tweeted out of and without context. 

Because we all know he's incapable of regret. 

[Ais]

22 hours ago, SweetJuly said:

Agnostic Jew chiming in - when someone whom I know to be religious/believing tells me that they pray for me when I am in a truly difficult situation or facing some disheartening challenges, I always appreciate it and feel strangely moved. I know that these people mean what they say, and it touches me that someone thinks of me enough to include me in their prayers.

My sister, who considers herself an atheist, was diagnosed with leukaemia in late December last year. She told me that it always moves her to tears when someone tells her that they pray for her.

So long story short, even many people who don't consider themselves religious or even believe in anything supernatural will appreciate a genuine "I'll pray for you".

What I do not appreciate: Religious people telling me they pray for me because I don't believe enough or the right thing/don't live according to their rules/etc.

My mother was also an atheist although she was raised catholic. When she was doing the rounds with cancer and people used to say they would pray for her or bring blessed medals, holy water, prayer cards, holy oils etc she always accepted them. She always said that you accept these things in the spirit they are given. People are offering you the thing they value most, their own source of comfort and strength at a time when they are powerless to help in any other way. After her death I kept them for exactly that reason.  When I look at them I don’t see the trappings of organised religion, I see how much she meant to people and the outpouring of kindness and love that she received when she needed it most.

As you say that is very different to those who offer to pray for you so that you can become a bit more racist/homophobic/misogynistic/downright nasty just like them lol

[artdecades]

8 hours ago, LacyMay said:

I'm a little late to the party. But I wonder how Dwreck felt when the DesiringGod Twitter account basically said that the tweet had nothing to do with mental illness and was tweeted out of and without context. 

Because we all know he's incapable of regret. 

 

this is Derick we are talking about. He is probably thinking "those snowflake SJW atheists are denying christians the right to free speech. CHRISTIAN PERSECUTION!"

 

or something like that.

 

[llg1234]

Jill and Derick participated in their church's "Night to Shine" event. It's a prom night type party for those with special needs and seems to be sponsored by Tim Tebow's charity. https://www.timtebowfoundation.org/ministries/night-to-shine

Also, that @desiringgod apology seems very disingenuous. It's your standard "sorry you were offended" bs and the fact that they put mental health in quotes is telling.

[victoriasponge]

I’m going to be honest and say I don’t fully understand the concept of praying - if God is omnipotent and all that, he already knows what’s going on and what he’ll do about it, surely, why does he need me talking to him to take action? (If I stick with the alpha course I guess I’ll learn why) However, I take the vast majority of prayers offered my way with thanks, and see it as a way for someone to say they are thinking about me and want my situation to improve. 

That doesn’t extend to people praying for eyes to open and for a religious conversion before my life is allowed to improve. As if I hadn’t already had many conversations pushed up towards the man upstairs before, Miss Fundie-Christian-Knows-The-Truth. Shame the entire Duggar clan, including the trouser-wearing, house-owning, hipster-loving ones will tell me I just haven’t tried hard enough, or God just loves their judgemental asses more than mine. 

Though I think a party for special needs kids is a good idea. Shame these eejits are the ones working it. Will you only be allowed the punch if you accept Jesus as your Lord and Saviour (a la Jeremy’s pretentious insta video... yes we all know who Jesus is you knob, at least in your almost entirely American audience)

[Glasgowghirl]

Thanks for the depression tips Derick I'll just pray it away. Maybe praying when was at evil Catholic school wasn't good enough. 

Jill has mentioned twitter letting the kids watch shows on Netflix, so he has probably watched paw patrol at some point. Derick's interactions with the boys are not as natural as Ben's, while I am sure he loves his kids he is to uptight to allow himself to have fun.

[CaricatureQualities]

3 hours ago, victoriasponge said:

I’m going to be honest and say I don’t fully understand the concept of praying - if God is omnipotent and all that, he already knows what’s going on and what he’ll do about it, surely, why does he need me talking to him to take action?

Technically, I agree with this but it did make me think of how the Duggs pray and prayer in general.  I'm sure they'd say a bunch of things in Christianese: Duggar Dialect to explain prayer at length... but one thing I always found interesting was their use of prayer as something like meditation. In general I think that prayer is very similar to meditation in that it is about steadying ones mind, focus etc and in that way it is about the individual and its brain-body-world connection and not like sending e-mails to god. But I am agnostic at best so to me prayer at it's best is basically meditation which I think is probably good for everyone, religious or not.  But like I said, that's my take not a fundamentalists  

And when I think about prayer in relation to this fam and what I have seen on episodes I totally think of the prayin' to  Jesus when they are in labour, particularly Michelle and Anna. Laser focus they seem to have to me sometimes. And how easy to put your whole being into something you actually believe so strongly in... I guess that's the part of their prayers that intrigue me...that they have NO doubt. They KNOW the Lord and they are talking to HIM directly and, HE is directly favoring THEM for this and can even SUPERNATURALLY intervene in this world if so moved. I wonder about the power of believing so strongly in something that it actually aids you in your mental focus to achieve something, thus reinforcing your belief in the literal powers of your beliefs without realizing it had anything to do with the power of your own mind.

[PainfullyAware]

On the parent names drift...I strongly dislike if a friend talking to me refers to their parent as 'so Dad did x' insteas of 'so MY Dad did x'. Like your Dad isn't the one and only Dad. It's odd to me.

On prayer...I've always been interested in contempletive christian prayer and it's overlap with meditation. But I'm also a meditating agnostic lol. I don't really understand asking for personal goals in prayer...like when some athletes say God heard their prayer to win in a race. Like why would God intervene in something so trivial? Maybe I misunderstand? Prayer for self-oriented purposes seems counter to the altruism of most faiths? I'm not saying praying for wisdom, strength, focus or other improved character traits is in any way counter to religion. But praying for wins, bonuses, success, recognition...that seems somehow off to me. So when a multimillionaire pro athlete says god heard them, I just don't get why god heard them but not the poor or the suffering?

[CaricatureQualities]

Bold is mine and also I agree with @PainfullyAware..just continuing the convo....For fundamentalists I think praying for focus and focusing on one thing almost exclusively are almost the same thing. Like..if I absolutely block out all other possibilities from my mind and actually my focus is severely limited to only a few options anyway...well how driven can one be and what manifestations can come from that drive alone? I think a lot can come from that. both good and bad, depending how you look at it. I believe in the power of the human brain. 

[SorenaJ]

Fundies sometimes use praying instead of thinking. Where others would say "I will think about it/I will consider it" they will say "I'm praying about it". I have heard fundies say that before. 

[Carm_88]

15 hours ago, victoriasponge said:

I’m going to be honest and say I don’t fully understand the concept of praying - if God is omnipotent and all that, he already knows what’s going on and what he’ll do about it, surely, why does he need me talking to him to take action?

I guess it's like venting. It's just getting it off your chest. When people vent, they already know how they feel and they just want to get it out. Prayer is like that in a way, it's taking your feelings, wishes, hopes, and sending them out to a higher power to take over for you. 

[Four is Enough]

My prayer is less asking for things than trying to express gratitude these days.. but when waiting to adopt, I'd pray for the birth of a healthy child and successful adoption or the ability to cope with it if the adoption was lost..

I have NEVER prayed for a car, a plane, a house, etc... LOL!

[jqlgoblue]

I can see benefits of prayer in that you can release an idea to someone else's control and build some optimism. I always think when people say prayer helps with recovery from illness that it is that positivity that is really what is helping. I also agree that praying for me so that I convert and don't go to hell is very different than praying for me in a difficult time. Though, even the second can hollow depending on who is saying it to me.

[candygirl200413]

Prayer to me is kind of like a lifeline I use to communicate. It's kind of like a way saying "hey this is what is on my mind, help me decipher it and give me some support" if that makes sense? I also agree with that first sentence especially @jqlgoblue. It allows to release a weight off your shoulders type of thing especially when you're going through a hardship.

[victoriasponge]

Okay, having read what everyone’s said, I get that (do it myself when meditating or thinking about things, minus the belief aspect). I guess it’s the fundie version of prayer (or fundie lite) where it is prayer that makes God act, and his faithful servants who pray more than everyone else who get their rewards. To me, that goes against their own concept of God, one where he decides everything, and plans everything and knows what is going to happen. It just seems so contradictory to me, that you, as a human, can make that kind of favouritist, elitist God do what you want, just because you asked. Though god, if you are listening, I could do with a car! 

Thanks @Carm_88 and everyone else for your thoughts. It at least makes it clearer what people are saying/asking for, even if I still don’t fully understand how that links with God being the one who controls and decides everything. Besides, it’s not like anyone here is the type to believe the Duggars on prayer. 

[llg1234]

Derick was teaching children about the good Samaritan Bible story. 

And more from the Night to Shine event the other night. 

Spoiler

 

Last, but certainly not least, he retweeted this gem:

The Forbes articles is titled "The rate of millennial women choosing to become stay-at-home-moms is on the rise. Bad work-life balance and lack of flexibility may be to blame"

[Dandruff]

If I was presenting to little kids I'd probably be having a much better time than when I've presented to adults.  I'd also be wearing casual clothes (if I could).  The "nonetheless" in Derick's comment suggests to me that he really doesn't like dealing with little kids.

[singsingsing]

'Had a good time nonetheless' is so telling to me. I'm sure I could be accused of reading too much into it, but just look at how he phrased it: "Presented to my youngest audience, by far, last week, but had a good time, nonetheless." Combined with how he's talked about his own sons, I definitely get the impression that Derick doesn't particularly like kids. Nothing wrong with that, but kind of tough if you're planning on a full quiver.

[Kangaroo]

4 minutes ago, singsingsing said:

Combined with how he's talked about his own sons, I definitely get the impression that Derick doesn't particularly like kids. Nothing wrong with that, but kind of tough if you're planning on a full quiver.

If he's anything like me, he probably doesn't know how to interact with kids properly because he just hasn't been around many of them.

Like you know you need to talk and act in a way kids understand, but you have no idea how. Derek's oldest child isnt even 3 yet, so at a maximum, he's only got the skills to interact with children up to that age, and only ones similar to Izzy.

That being said, I totally wouldn't rock up in a suit and tie and do a PowerPoint presentation to a group of primary school kids. I'd get a puppet or something.