Boyer Sisters Part 6: Two Left Limping Along

[SolomonFundy]

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I agree with the rest of your post - but did he?  They got engaged and then ...

What we know from Jessica is that they parted ways after the engagement because their views for the future differed drastically.  Perhaps Levi wasn't that keen on being a Patriarch and sole provider for a needy submissive little miss determined to procreate indiscriminately for God.

I'm not exactly sure when Jessica turned into the gaping maw of selfishness, jealousy, neediness, neurosis, and hypochondria that she now presents.  On the blogs.  That may not be reality.

I'm so sorry, Jess, but that is the take-home message you give today on your blogs.  It is off-putting, to be brutally honest.  To people in general, let alone potential partners.

Young Levi may have run for the hills out of sheer self-preservation.  I don't know him from Adam, but he may have had good reason to do a runner.

To be clear about my personal perspective: Leaving an unwanted romantic partner is never wrong. It may suck for one or both people, but if someone isn't happy in the relationship, the RIGHT thing to do is move on. I don't think Levi owed Jessica a lifetime commitment just because he proposed. They were and are both very young, and moderately stupid. I am glad they didn't marry at that point, especially since it wasn't a good fit.

The reason I think he "did her wrong" is the fact he let things get as far as they did before expressing his lack of interest in a relationship. Levi wasn't a random mainstream dude who happened to fall for a fundy by accident.  He knew from the outset that he was courting her in a fundy-modern sense, and that her family had very specific expectations of what "friendship" and "courtship" meant in that context. Since Levi has worked in and around fundy/religious conservative media and entertainment venues, I am inclined to believe that he is well aware of what those expectations entailed, and that he almost certainly shares those views.  Based on what Jessica wrote on the blog when the relationship was still ongoing, Levi had begun his pursuit of her with the full knowledge that he was only allowed to approach her if they intended to "become friends" with marriage in mind as the final goal. The reasons that they gave for the breakup are the kinds of things that prospective fundy couples are encouraged to iron out BEFORE the relationship progresses to the more serious stages. That's where my criticism of him ultimately rests: he represented himself as invested enough to be allowed access to Jessica through friendship, courtship, and passing whatever goalposts Clancy Boyer set up for him when he asked permission to propose to Jessica, and then he took it all to the ultimate point of actually proposing before he made up his mind. Engagement for most fundies is very serious business, and there's little reason to doubt that Jessica believed she was as good as married to him at that point. And then... he decided that he just wasn't into her for the long haul, and ended the relationship because their beliefs didn't quite jive. 

Unless Jessica suddenly did something wildly inappropriate that violated his expectations of a helpmeet (certainly a possibility), I tend to believe that the claims of "differing beliefs" is just code for Levi's cold feet. I think he just realized he wasn't ready to get married, and maybe that his interest in Jessica wasn't much more than basic attraction. Since all we really have to work with is the blog posts and social media vaguery (plus Gabe, I guess), all of my perception of the situation is based on that. It definitely may not be reality, but it's the face they apparently want the world to see. Jessica's woe-is-me perpetual vigil of jilted angst isn't proof of wrongdoing on Levi's part, but he's the one who proposed to her, and he's the one who walked out of her life weeks later. I don't think it's bad that he changed his mind, but I do hold him responsible for proposing to a young woman that he wasn't sure he wanted to marry. In patriarchal culture, failed courtships tend to be viewed as a character blight on the female, and failed engagements are an order of magnitude worse. He knew all of that, and went ahead with the engagement anyway. 

 

I dunno what he's been up to since turning Jessica into a navel-gazing lunatic, but I hope that he did run for the sunny hills of Not Patriarchy. It would be admirable if his rejection of her was actually a rejection of fundamentalism, and not just a dickish way of ensuring that a young woman was "off the market" until he had a chance to make up his mind about her.

[Lurky]

4 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Based on what Jessica wrote on the blog when the relationship was still ongoing, Levi had begun his pursuit of her with the full knowledge that he was only allowed to approach her if they intended to "become friends" with marriage in mind as the final goal. The reasons that they gave for the breakup are the kinds of things that prospective fundy couples are encouraged to iron out BEFORE the relationship progresses to the more serious stages. That's where my criticism of him ultimately rests: he represented himself as invested enough to be allowed access to Jessica through friendship, courtship, and passing whatever goalposts Clancy Boyer set up for him when he asked permission to propose to Jessica, and then he took it all to the ultimate point of actually proposing before he made up his mind.

I don't think this is fair - what are you suggesting he did, marry her out of obligation?  I am super-impressed he did called it off when he did, because it would be hard to do *because* of all this.

It's a problem with the system - you say Fundy couples are supposed to iron out their differences before Courting, but how can they do that, when they're not allowed to be friends?  Even the Bateses and Duggars, who have the "getting to know you" period have to do that under extreme chaperonage, with the idea that getting to know someone is just a step away from Courtship, which is a baby-step to marriage. 

And look at what you wrote:  "he was only allowed to approach her if they intended to "become friends" with marriage in mind".  How is he even meant to know if they were compatible at this point?  How can he be blamed for not having done his due diligence if the only way he could get to know her was after they'd started a formal process?

I think about how weird it would be to try to have those deep and meaningful conversations with a parent or sibling sat right next to you to keep you accountable, and with the pressure to say the "right" things, on both sides or it'll all be instantly over, while having a huge crush that can only be interpreted as "this is the person I'm going to marry".  Of course people will be trying to show themselves in their best lights, and might not even know that they're misleading the other (believing one is a twin soul with one's crush is pretty standard worldwide!) but the pressure in Fundy-dom is a whole other level.

And it's important to remember that Jessica said in her blog that she had changed her mind during the course of the Courtship too - that she had said she'd be OK with [unspecified things] and then realised actually, she wouldn't.

Plus, I do think it's unfair to blame the young man for how he's portrayed in Jessica's blog.  It's clearly only 1 side of the story, and he might have a completely different tale to tell - not even saying Jessica's lying, but 2 people always experience the same things differently.  I blame the system!   I'm actually amazed any Fundy marriages work, because they're set up to fail from the start.  The cynic in me thinks one of the reasons they make divorce harder for their young people is that the first generation Fundies, who got to actually choose their spouses know, at some level, they're rushing their kids into marriage with people they don't really know, so the solution is to make them feel trapped, so the marriage has to work.

[SolomonFundy]

10 hours ago, Lurky said:

I don't think this is fair - what are you suggesting he did, marry her out of obligation?  I am super-impressed he did called it off when he did, because it would be hard to do *because* of all this.

It's a problem with the system - you say Fundy couples are supposed to iron out their differences before Courting, but how can they do that, when they're not allowed to be friends?  Even the Bateses and Duggars, who have the "getting to know you" period have to do that under extreme chaperonage, with the idea that getting to know someone is just a step away from Courtship, which is a baby-step to marriage. 

And look at what you wrote:  "he was only allowed to approach her if they intended to "become friends" with marriage in mind".  How is he even meant to know if they were compatible at this point?  How can he be blamed for not having done his due diligence if the only way he could get to know her was after they'd started a formal process?

I think about how weird it would be to try to have those deep and meaningful conversations with a parent or sibling sat right next to you to keep you accountable, and with the pressure to say the "right" things, on both sides or it'll all be instantly over, while having a huge crush that can only be interpreted as "this is the person I'm going to marry".  Of course people will be trying to show themselves in their best lights, and might not even know that they're misleading the other (believing one is a twin soul with one's crush is pretty standard worldwide!) but the pressure in Fundy-dom is a whole other level.

And it's important to remember that Jessica said in her blog that she had changed her mind during the course of the Courtship too - that she had said she'd be OK with [unspecified things] and then realised actually, she wouldn't.

Plus, I do think it's unfair to blame the young man for how he's portrayed in Jessica's blog.  It's clearly only 1 side of the story, and he might have a completely different tale to tell - not even saying Jessica's lying, but 2 people always experience the same things differently.  I blame the system!   I'm actually amazed any Fundy marriages work, because they're set up to fail from the start.  The cynic in me thinks one of the reasons they make divorce harder for their young people is that the first generation Fundies, who got to actually choose their spouses know, at some level, they're rushing their kids into marriage with people they don't really know, so the solution is to make them feel trapped, so the marriage has to work.

I actually specifically said in my opening sentences that I'm glad he didn't marry her, and that I don't think that he owed her anything, including marriage. I'm not sure how my meaning could be interpreted any other way, but I'm sorry if I didn't express myself clearly! When writing a wall of text, it's easy to let thoughts drift.

In no way do I believe that the fundy path of "courtship" is a logical prelude to a healthy, functional relationship. That's why I participate in this forum. I don't think that it's a good system of belief or social interaction (especially for the vulnerable), and I think that people who raise their children in fundy culture are setting them up for a litany of needless struggles and lost opportunities. I absolutely DO NOT believe that Levi or Jessica could get to know one another properly in the parameters of a fundy courtship, at least by my personal standards. The point of my last post was directed at the question of whether I thought Levi had done any injustice to Jessica at all within the context of fundy courtship (in defense of using the phrase "done her wrong" in an earlier post). And ultimately, yes, I think that he pursued her through multiple stages of courtship before making up his mind, and that he misled her by proposing to her when he still wasn't sure. He didn't have to ask for permission to marry her, or actually propose in order to continue seeing her. Based on what they posted about their courtship, their access to one another didn't change after the proposal. So the only thing that proposing did was lead the Boyers to believe that Levi was committed to marry Jessica, when in fact, he still wasn't sure about pursuing her. I agree with your observations regarding how trapped he may have felt. I'm sure things progressed too quickly for both of them. 

Do I think that ending a relationship is bad? No. Never. Like I said in the last post, it's always a good idea to end a relationship if you know that it's not a good fit. If they were both mainstream 20-somethings with equal agency, this wouldn't be an issue at all. (We also wouldn't be discussing them on FJ.) However, they are part of a patriarchal, fundamentalist culture that diminishes the rights and stature of women, and elevates the privilege of men. Levi had more power than Jessica did in the context of their culture, which makes it a little less impressive to me that he ended it. (For instance, I consider Elizabeth Munck's actions to be more incredible due to the fact she had far less personal agency as a fundy woman, and that her family were a bit star-struck by the Maxwells.) I'm VERY glad Levi ended it at whatever point he realized that things weren't right for a marriage with Jessica, but I do think that it was handled poorly. Ultimately, I think that Jessica's inability to move forward from the breakup has less to do with anything Levi did, and more to do with her lack of experience and opportunities, and the limitations her parents have put on their daughters.

You are absolutely right about how we don't know his side of things. We don't even really know the Boyer's side of things, other than what they choose to represent to the world through social media. I acknowledged that in my post as well, but I definitely think it's worth saying again: we just don't know. We form our opinions on the information that they share, and that's as close to "truth" as we get. I don't think that Levi is bad and Jessica is good. I don't think that Jessica's hurt feelings and thoughts are a reliable barometer for whatever transpired. I'm just interpreting what they write based on my personal thoughts and experiences, much like the other folks here who see things differently using the same social media information.

You mentioned Jessica's change of heart, and I actually had written a bit about that in my earlier post, but deleted it due to the length!  The overalls/rictus grin/potted plant post that she put up a few months after the break was one of the things that initially gave me my personal conspiracy theory over what may have happened to end the relationship. Jessica mentioned in that post that, as she watched Brigid and Gabe's relationship unfold, she struggled with resentment and jealousy because it was so different from the way Levi had interacted with her in their courtship. (I'm paraphrasing, but this was the jist of it.) When I first read that, it occurred to me that both Jessica and Levi probably observed differences in the way Gabe/Brigid interacted, and that it caused both of them to compare their own feelings and actions. My pet theory is that Levi probably ended things when he saw the difference in the depth of his friend's feeling for Brigid, versus his own feelings for Jessica.

 

[Pecansforeveryone]

Levi may have faced behind the scenes pressure from his and Jessica's parents to propose. He may have considerable respect for their

opinions. If, just perhaps, they hinted or even outright said what a wonderful wife and mother Jessica would make, he may have thought gosh my godly parents are right. I had better get to proposing.  All speculation on my part, of course. I think blame the system rather than the individuals. 

[formergothardite]

Has it been said that Levi knew he had doubts when he proposed? 

I'm not sure anyone did anyone wrong here. Even if he did have doubts at the time of proposal, we don't know what was going on behind the scenes to make him feel like he needed to propose. The system did them both wrong. 

[Lurky]

@SolomonFundy I really appreciate your reply, but I do have a Q, re this:

3 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

And ultimately, yes, I think that he pursued her through multiple stages of courtship before making up his mind, and that he misled her by proposing to her when he still wasn't sure.

I think I must have missed this part of their story, because I don't remember seeing any reference to him having doubts.  I completely understand how I could have missed it, because their old style of "here's 20 pictures of me in an outfit, and at the bottom something out of left field" meant I probably didn't look! But also I think they've scrubbed part of the blog.  

How I remember it (caveats! happy to be proved wrong!) wasn't so much that he had doubts, but that they'd rushed into it, and as time went on, they both realised they weren't as on the same page as they'd thought.  There was something Jessica said in one of her multiple-part posts about how she'd initially been ok with [something vague, sounded doctrinal, but it was left woolly] and then she realised she couldn't be that way, and that she'd been changing who she was to fit him - and that when they started talking about the differences, they realised they weren't suited.   I think these deeper discussions came after engagement? 

So the way I remember it (as above!) is not that he wasn't sure, and proposed anyway, but they both really should have spent more time talking before rushing into it.   I guess in the secular world, this would be a couple who fell madly in love, and saw a future together, but after a couple of months realised they were incompatible, and would be feeling relieved they worked that out sooner rather than later, albeit with some heartache for What Might Have Been. 

But yeah, we're 100% in agreement that the structure they were using is to blame, and I am co-signing this, for sure:

3 hours ago, SolomonFundy said:

Ultimately, I think that Jessica's inability to move forward from the breakup has less to do with anything Levi did, and more to do with her lack of experience and opportunities, and the limitations her parents have put on their daughters.

The bottom line is that for all the Fundies talking about Courtship protecting the Second Gen fundies, so they don't give away pieces of their hearts etc etc, it seems like Zach Bates/Nathan Bates/whichever Maxwell Elizabeth M escaped from/Jessica B etc etc etc prove it's probably worse than a secular break-up, because the weight of expectations is just ridiculous.

 

[Carm_88]

 I really don't think the why matters so much. Levi broke it off and yeah, there has to be a period of mourning a relationship. After that period has ended, you have to pick up and move on. The more concerning aspect is that Jessica has not. Some people do struggle with this and that's why there is professional help. It can be rough and I'm not discounting her feelings here. I just don't know if she knows how to move on.

[hollyandivy]

I don't remember the whole thing 100% but are we even sure that Levi is the one who ended it? Or did Jess give him the boot? And I mean, they knew each other before they had a relationship, he was featured on the blog, he was at one of their dances (I believe one of their graduation celebrations), and I think he was introduced as a friend of Clancy's. I am too lazy to comb through the blog and read it all again.

 

Jess needs to get over herself and find something to do besides wallowing in self pity and this oil stuff!

[Palimpsest]

17 hours ago, Lurky said:

How I remember it (caveats! happy to be proved wrong!) wasn't so much that he had doubts, but that they'd rushed into it, and as time went on, they both realised they weren't as on the same page as they'd thought.  There was something Jessica said in one of her multiple-part posts about how she'd initially been ok with [something vague, sounded doctrinal, but it was left woolly] and then she realised she couldn't be that way, and that she'd been changing who she was to fit him - and that when they started talking about the differences, they realised they weren't suited.   I think these deeper discussions came after engagement? 

I remember it this way too.  And I thought it was brave of her to take responsibility for any part she played.  I also remember that post presenting it as a mutual decision rather than Levi dumping Jessica.

Be that is it may, there is a lot wrong with the courtship system and everyone should burn their copies of I Kissed Dating Goodbye.  Both young men and young women get messed up by courtship rules.

As an aside, Gabe said he had been in a relationship prior to meeting Brigid that didn't work out.  I hope she didn't go into a decline too.

20 minutes ago, Carm_88 said:

yeah, there has to be a period of mourning a relationship. After that period has ended, you have to pick up and move on. The more concerning aspect is that Jessica has not. Some people do struggle with this and that's why there is professional help. It can be rough and I'm not discounting her feelings here. I just don't know if she knows how to move on.

She's stuck.  Badly stuck.

Now I am far from being a Titus 2 woman, but it is a pity there isn't something about older women giving wise counsel to younger women with broken hearts in the Bible, not just all the stuff about encouraging them to love their husbands and children and be subservient.

So advice for Jessica on moving on in a healthy way:

It's been many years since I've been on a date (and 41 years since I met Mr P) but I don't think the rules have changed that much. 

People run a mile if the only thing the person they are interested in can talk about is their ex.  Dial it back - and that means stop publicizing your grief on your blog.  It will put off potential suitors.

Try to stop embracing those intrusive thoughts about lost love and dwelling on them.  Think positive thoughts and find your happy place when meditating.

Develop new interests and go and learn about them.  Find places to meet new men.  Take some classes!  I know we keep suggesting that.  Go with Charlotte if you feel shy.

Heck, I got hit on quite a few times in courses I took as a younger married woman. Pity some were too dim to check for wedding rings before they suggested coffee in the cafeteria after the class, but most were nice enough and found dates with others. 

For some strange reason the classes on "Grow your own Bonsai" and "Introduction to Russian Poetry" were especially dominated by young men desperately in search of like-minded women. 

[Verbena]

1 hour ago, Carm_88 said:

Levi broke it off and yeah, there has to be a period of mourning a relationship. After that period has ended, you have to pick up and move on. The more concerning aspect is that Jessica has not. 

What makes me feel for Jessica in this regard is that Levi is still a part of her life through Gabe and Brigid. Looking at their social media posts, such as the birthday bash, she is stuck in the same room as the guy on occasion. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happens more than a few times a year where she has to see him, considering that he and Gabe appear to still be good friends. If I as to constantly be around my ex, I’d be struggling as well. One of the best ways to move on from a failed relationship is to completely cut said person out of your life. Kinda hard for her to do this if she’s constantly dreading the next time she has to see him.

I do agree that she has spent far too much time mourning this relationship but again, it’s far harder to move on when you’re constantly reminded of a certain someone by having to see them. I so wish she’d consider school. She seems so talented with art and I think she would really blossom among others who share the same interests outside of the confines of home. 

[FundiesInParis]

Okay, so I’ll admit that I know exactly jack shit about most ~wellness~ related things, but I don’t think that’s how cortisol works? And I certainly don’t think that “cortistop” is the solution to it.

However, as someone who also gets overwhelmed at the drop of a hat, I can deeply sympathize with whichever sister wrote this.

[singsingsing]

[katilac]

Publicly stating that you have abandonment issues because your mom stuck you in daycare seems like a shit thing to do. 

[FundiesInParis]

4 minutes ago, katilac said:

Publicly stating that you have abandonment issues because your mom stuck you in daycare seems like a shit thing to do. 

If I’m remembering correctly there was a Catholic fundie who said something similar, she was basically “an orphan” because her mom sent her to preschool or something.

I think the blog was Abagail’s Alcove? But I don’t 100% remember.

[Palimpsest]

5 hours ago, Verbena said:

What makes me feel for Jessica in this regard is that Levi is still a part of her life through Gabe and Brigid. Looking at their social media posts, such as the birthday bash, she is stuck in the same room as the guy on occasion. 

Really? 

I couldn't place Levi in a line-up.  What birthday bash?   Can you point to a photo of him in the last 12 months in the same room as our wilting jessica flower? 

1 hour ago, FundiesInParis said:

However, as someone who also gets overwhelmed at the drop of a hat, I can deeply sympathize with whichever sister wrote this.

As it happens, neither of them.  Moddyapple (charlotte) and the boyersisters just liked that (probably fake) leghumper post.  But they will be on the Cortistop band-wagon faster than you can say Young Living.  They are marketing.

When did being super-stressed become so fashionable?  I could see it if the sisters had real 9 - 5 jobs, and real responsibilities to earn their own livings, and paid rent and so on, but ...

The Boyer sisters (or rather Charlotte) claim to be stressed by picking outfits for the day from their extensive closets.  Even when they are not going anywhere, like to a real job. 

It is a puzzlement.

 

[formergothardite]

The Boyer sisters need therapy. Real therapy. That oil isn't going to fix shit. 

[singsingsing]

1 hour ago, FundiesInParis said:

If I’m remembering correctly there was a Catholic fundie who said something similar, she was basically “an orphan” because her mom sent her to preschool or something.

I think the blog was Abagail’s Alcove? But I don’t 100% remember.

It was indeed Abigail. She compared herself to a Ukrainian orphan.

Edit: found the original post. It's the same one where she randomly insinuated she was going to be 'throwing up from chemo' in the future. http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/09/for-adopted-moms.html

[ladyamylynn]

Oh my God DRAMA ALERT. Jesus christ, Abigail is more intense than I remember.

[Carm_88]

2 hours ago, singsingsing said:

It was indeed Abigail. She compared herself to a Ukrainian orphan.

Edit: found the original post. It's the same one where she randomly insinuated she was going to be 'throwing up from chemo' in the future. http://abigails-alcove.blogspot.ca/2012/09/for-adopted-moms.html

Sweet baby Jesus! 

[dramallama]

5 hours ago, FundiesInParis said:

Okay, so I’ll admit that I know exactly jack shit about most ~wellness~ related things, but I don’t think that’s how cortisol works? And I certainly don’t think that “cortistop” is the solution to it.

However, as someone who also gets overwhelmed at the drop of a hat, I can deeply sympathize with whichever sister wrote this.

She's sure got the whole pyramid scheme hunbot schtick down, including rampant overuse of emojis.  

[Verbena]

4 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

Really? 

I couldn't place Levi in a line-up.  What birthday bash?   Can you point to a photo of him in the last 12 months in the same room as our wilting jessica flower? 

Here is the link for that birthday bash, or ball I should say, that I was thinking of... http://boyersisters.com/2017/03/birthday-ball-recap/

I’m not quite sure how to post individual pics from that, but there are at least a couple there. I noticed this was from last March. I hope for Jessica’s sake there wasn’t a repeat ball with him there...or any other function he may have attended. I myself would be absolutely miserable having to see my ex...even if it was once a year. 

[formergothardite]

Which one is Levi? 

[catlady]

We discussed that blog post last year; I don’t recall that Levi was identified in any of the photos.  Granted, I may have forgotten if he was confirmed as present. 

[Palimpsest]

7 hours ago, Verbena said:

Here is the link for that birthday bash, or ball I should say, that I was thinking of... http://boyersisters.com/2017/03/birthday-ball-recap/

I’m not quite sure how to post individual pics from that, but there are at least a couple there. I noticed this was from last March. 

Oh, yes.  Thank you for finding that. I'd completely forgotten about the birthday ball.

Not only was Levi there - he apparently co-hosted the combined birthday bash with Gabe.  And Jessica turned up (she could have declined the invitation and it looks like a public venue) and looks quite happy.  She did write that sad little "Be Quiet" Post at around the same time as the ball though, IIRC.

I'm still not sure which one he is in those photos but we could compare them with the wedding pics.  It is quite possible that Levi was also one of Gabe's groomsmen. Also, didn't we find some pictures of him working on a dinosaur for the Ark Encounter at one point? 

To me this continued friendship between Gabe and Levi says that Levi probably didn't behave like a dirty stinkin' rat to Jessica, and that the break-up was indeed mutual.  Gabe doesn't strike me as an unkind or heartless person.  If Levi had really treated Jessica very badly then why would Gabe stay friends with him?  Why would the Boyer parents be willing to go to the party and interact with Levi socially, let alone Jessica? 

7 hours ago, Verbena said:

I hope for Jessica’s sake there wasn’t a repeat ball with him there...or any other function he may have attended. I myself would be absolutely miserable having to see my ex...even if it was once a year. 

It sounds as though you had a very bad break-up.  I'm so sorry.  I hope things get better for you.  However, I think this says more about your ex, and your past relationship, than it does about Jessica and Levi.  

It is not unusual for people to date or even get engaged within the same social group, break up, and then have to face their ex partners again socially.  It can be awkward and painful indeed, but most people learn to cope.   It is either that or break up long-standing friendships, and people usually only do that when the dumper was cruel or abusive to the dumpee.

I think Jessica was deeply in love with the idea of getting married, possibly more so that she was in love with Levi himself.  It is not as though they knew each other that long.  Her hopes for marriage were dashed - but she can still pick herself up and move on.  There are other fish in the pond that she may like much better.

[Verbena]

31 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

I think Jessica was deeply in love with the idea of getting married, possibly more so that she was in love with Levi himself.  

I agree. And I find it interesting that fundamentalists place such importance on not taking on idols above God when, in this case, marriage is obviously an idol. The pressure to find Prince Charming, be a wife, have babies, stock the hope chests, etc...well...I’m just grateful I didn’t have that kind of expectation growing up. 

In response to which one Levi is, I’m almost positive he’s the one in that red tunic outfit.