Chelsy and John Maxwell 2: On to the Honeymoon Somewhere Warm

[usmcmom]

I think it would be really REALLY funny if John and Chelsy "confessed" to having kissed before the wedding. It would be even better if the two families were all together and John said "Yeah, it happened while we were cleaning up my house that night we had pizza." 

Then the Bontragers could all turn to look at Steve with their judgy eyes that scream "THIS HAPPENED UNDER YOUR WATCH?!?" while Teri falls to her knees and weeps in despair.  Steve would start screaming "PIZZA NIGHT!! Who was standing watch on pizza night?!?" 

[theologygeek]

11 hours ago, VVV said:

I definitely think it is a more modern custom to have a meal, and it goes along with the increased extravagance of weddings in general. When my sisters were getting married, punch, cake and mints in the church fellowship hall was pretty standard for every wedding I had ever been to. By the time I got married, the church fellowship hall reception was definitely less common and even though that's what we had, we also had more food (little sandwiches, groom's cake, etc) than my sisters did.  No alcohol for any of us, of course, not in the church building.

I have played for a lot of weddings--it's in the hundreds over the past 30 years--and I have definitely seen an increase in opulence, though it's also fair to say that people who are hiring a string quartet for their wedding are probably not getting married on a shoestring anyway.

It's not a more modern custom to have a meal at a wedding.  I'm 55 and have never been to a wedding without a meal being served.  A few were buffets, but most were sit down meals.  My mother is 81 and most of the weddings she has been to have also been extravagant.  There are a lot of factors involved.  The region, the background heritage of the bride and groom, the religion either one of them practices, etc  An Italian Catholic wedding in the Northeast is one example of extravagance.  I have never been to a wedding reception in a church hall, and I have been to many weddings in my life.  A Catholic's funeral after party is even fancier than a Maxwell wedding reception. 

[Jana814]

4 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

A Catholic's funeral after party is even fancier than a Maxwell wedding reception. 

I can totally see that. 

[Palimpsest]

16 hours ago, theologygeek said:

Not to change the subject, but which kid owns Maxwell's Auto Detailing?  I was looking at the addresses in the Maxwell family trust, and this one 16211 SANTA FE TRAIL is where Maxwell's Auto Detailing is also located.  I wonder if that's Jesse's.  https://www.groupon.com/biz/leavenworth-ks/maxwells-auto-detailing 

Good find!  But I bet it is Anna and Mary who do the actual detailing.

15 hours ago, MamaJunebug said:

And it’s prolly been noted, but Jo has The Wide Stance. Of course. Those boys need their

s-p-a-c-e

after planting TWO (count ‘em!) babies. 

<snip>

Lastly: how remote is the Bontragers’ home that they drive 20 minutes to ... another steel building for the reception? The venues are that few, far-between and bland?

VERY wide stances .

And Jesse is beginning to look an awful lot more like Steve these days.

I've never been to Kalona but I have been to Washington, Iowa.  It is a city of 7,000.  I can imagine that venues that will fit 300 are few and far between.

14 hours ago, nausicaa said:

I've been the bridesmaid in about 48 weddings in the past eight years (or at least it feels that way)

Have you seen 27 Dresses? What do you do with all your old bridesmaid dresses? 

12 hours ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

 This is probably why I always have advice for newly engaged couples. Because I saw so many weddings in a short period of time and I was in quite a few of them. I know what usually works well and what usually doesn't. 

Have you seen Jessica Boyer's video where she gives advice on wedding planning?  You probably could do much better than that little snot.

2 hours ago, meee said:

Wait, what did I miss?  Why would Steve scrub Nathan and Melanie's wedding from the blog?

He took it down and passively aggressively linked to a post on salvation because we were snarking on Teri's fervid descriptions and the absurdity of the Maxwells. Apparently some of our shots found their marks.

By the way:  Good one, Steve! That was quite sneaky. I hope you ask God for his forgiveness for lurking in this evil site.  

Steve's probably gnashing his teeth right now because we've noticed the pointed omission of talk about John and Chelsy saving their first kiss for marriage. 

[JermajestyDuggar]

My wedding advice is often for brides to not focus too much on the small things. For example: a bride focusing too much on matching footwear for bridesmaids when they are wearing long dresses and practically no one will be seeing their shoes anyway. I've seen brides focus way too much on little things like that and strsss themselves out because they are just worrying about too many things that aren't important in the long run. And when it comes to these giant fundie weddings, I would always recommend a wedding planner. These huge weddings are just too much for one bride to handle. It's worth the money. I said this already but keeping the wedding party small is one of the best decisions you can make. Most women I know aren't even that enthused about being a bridesmaid. It might be exciting the first time, but after that it just gets expensive and a lot of work.

[usmcmom]

I keep going back to look at the wedding photos posted by Sarah. 

It's interesting to me that Christopher seems to be the only one standing in a normal relaxed way. All the others have that wide stance that, evidently, proves their manly manhood. It's like Christopher has realized he has nothing to prove and is able to just comfortably stand still for a photo - almost like there is a bit of humility there. 

This concludes my pointless comment. 

[nausicaa]

17 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

Have you seen 27 Dresses? What do you do with all your old bridesmaid dresses? 

I've donated most of them to Project Prom.

However, one of them is a really nice sheath dress I can wear to work. One of them was a cocktail dress I gave to a friend because she loved it. One of them is just so gorgeous I've kept it even though I'll probably never have anything to wear it to but I can't bear to part with it.

[MamaJunebug]

8 hours ago, Lea said:

YES to this x 1000!!! I met my headship when we were in college (and he is truly, TRULY wonderful, and I love being married to him), but in later years, I regretted choosing my undergrad, and I have said that to friends. And they say, "but you wouldn't have met (headship)!" and it's like....yeah! And he wouldn't have met me! We would have met other people or maybe not? But we couldn't be sad about missing each other because we wouldn't have KNOWN....

They thought I was very strange and unromantic for saying that. *shoulder shrug*

Yknow, this is like when I look at the Jr. Junebugs and think, “Well, marrying their sheet-headed father was worth it...” 

WAS IT? One suffers from crippling depression & anxiety. Would he have minded not being born? Another has been traumatized by her father’s General asshole-lishness (I couldn’t be between them ALL the time) and has never said so, but has worked to create a life so opposite from how she was raised, I have to presume she wasn’t thrilled to be here.

i know we can’t manage everything and that life is 99-44/100ths percent MESSY. But bottom line: when fundamentalists weep & wail over the never-born, or congratulate themselves on having acceded to God’s Fertility Schedule for them, it is all pride and pomposity and selfishness!

I’m getting to another need for a Maxbreak ... 

[formergothardite]

22 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

He took it down and passively aggressively linked to a post on salvation because we were snarking on Teri's fervid descriptions and the absurdity of the Maxwells. Apparently some of our shots found their marks.

I think we must have embarrassed him a bit by pointing out how ridiculous the weeping and wailing was. We have been snarking on that wedding for years, not sure why now he decides to be all butt hurt over it. And what is he telling the family? We removed all mention of Nathan's wedding because the mean people on the internet made fun of how much we cried and how we attempted to micro-control the staff at a restaurant. 

[MamaJunebug]

17 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Most women I know aren't even that enthused about being a bridesmaid. It might be exciting the first time, but after that it just gets expensive and a lot of work.

The thought of standing still for over an hour just listening to speeches breaks my emotional back andvwould surely leave me writing in pain — even as a 20-.something. I can’t imagine how uncomfy it became for Melanie, in her 40s, even as fit and slim as she is.  

3 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

We have been snarking on that wedding for years, not sure why now he decides to be all butt hurt over it.

I’d say it’s because ever since John announced his marriage to Steve and Teri and then the Bontragers announced it to the world, Steve has been a walking open wound, An ambulatory last frayed nerve!  All those who are not Maxwell family should be counting their blessings at not having to be around that in person!!!

14 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

I keep going back to look at the wedding photos posted by Sarah. 

It's interesting to me that Christopher seems to be the only one standing in a normal relaxed way. All the others have that wide stance that, evidently, proves their manly manhood. It's like Christopher has realized he has nothing to prove and is able to just comfortably stand still for a photo - almost like there is a bit of humility there. 

This concludes my pointless comment. 

I’m in the minority  in my defense of Chris and a little less so in my respect for Nathan, so I’ll say I think Nate’s posture is more him acceding to the photog’s direction to stand a little closer to Smugjo. Also that I think Chris gets an outsize portion of snark. But that’s a topic for another day, especially since I can’t quite put my finger on why I feel that way, and certainly have no empirical evidence!

[IReallyAmHopewell]

8 hours ago, Lea said:

Read the body language in this photo. These are two people who have kissed before and are excited to be kissing again.

Read between the lines that no one is going on and on about what a blessing this first, pure kiss is to witness. They know.

(And of course I am completely fine (and relieved) that two adult humans pledging their lives to each other have kissed before that moment....I just think it's interesting to see how they handle it when people haven't followed the expectation. Just polite silence.)

The whole firsts kiss at the wedding idea....gag.....Remember the Missionary who spoke up and said it wasn't Biblical on the 19 Kids Counting when either Jill or Jessa was getting married? But of course, the cult isn't Biblical. It's Gothard.

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, theologygeek said:

It's not a more modern custom to have a meal at a wedding.  I'm 55 and have never been to a wedding without a meal being served.  A few were buffets, but most were sit down meals.  My mother is 81 and most of the weddings she has been to have also been extravagant.  There are a lot of factors involved.  The region, the background heritage of the bride and groom, the religion either one of them practices, etc  An Italian Catholic wedding in the Northeast is one example of extravagance.  I have never been to a wedding reception in a church hall, and I have been to many weddings in my life.  A Catholic's funeral after party is even fancier than a Maxwell wedding reception. 

And I think part of that is a holdover from the old countries, where things were often pretty bleak and/or rotten and a wedding was the chance to gather for something joyous and promising. 

Steve Maxwell, like so many of the other patriarchs I frankly loathe, has never known real want, so I’m baffled and enraged by his (and others’)’ peculiar methods of impoverishing his children and imposing weird asceticism where one least expects it (substandard educations for the children after his own college degrees!) 

[nomoxian]

18 hours ago, lilith said:

But it seems strange to me to purchase a giant blow up dog to put in the back of the grooms car.

3

There might be an interesting or even f*n story behind the choice of a dog, but of course that sort of thing wouldn't be considered blog-worthy material like polishing cabinets or dusting ceiling fans.

[nausicaa]

8 hours ago, JemimaPuddle-Duck said:

 And to whomever said that the Maxwells have “creepy, creepy” ties to the Buckinghams:  those ties are probably one of the least creepy things about the Maxwells. 

Steve's continued support of the Buckingham children is like one of a grand total of three nice things I can say about him.

[Palimpsest]

13 minutes ago, formergothardite said:

We have been snarking on that wedding for years, not sure why now he decides to be all butt hurt over it.

Agreed.  Could it be because they made a huge deal over the first kiss at that wedding?  He might want to hide the evidence that they ever said that saving your first kiss for marriage was the True Christian Thing To Do in the Holy Gospel of Stevehovah.

After all, neither Christopher or Joseph ever had failed courtships or engagements according to the revised edition of the Maxwell blog.   

[IReallyAmHopewell]

1 minute ago, MamaJunebug said:

Steve Maxwell, like so many of the other patriarchs I frankly loathe, has never known real want, so I’m baffled and enraged by his (and others’)’ peculiar methods of impoverishing his children and imposing weird asceticism where one least expects it (substandard educations for the children after his own college degrees!) 

Nor was he made to find a wife in this way after being kept on house arrest all of his childhood. He was allowed to socialize freely--not just with elderly people on Sundays.  I always want to ask these people "What is so wrong with your marriage that you can't let you kids chose just like you do?" The cult promotes FEAR--fear of the government in public schools, fear of children loosing their faith (imho they are more likely to FLEE the so-called faith being raised like a Maxwell than by going to public school where they can at least see REAL right/wrong played out)

I'm so anxious now for the LAST Maxwell brother to marry!

Come on Steve! Buy out a neighbor so we can get the house  pimped and the train wreck started!! We know the girls will never marry, at least let Jesse out before his sell-by date.

[Palimpsest]

2 minutes ago, nomoxian said:

There might be an interesting or even f*n story behind the choice of a dog, but of course that sort of thing wouldn't be considered blog-worthy material like polishing cabinets or dusting ceiling fans.

It would be great if Chelsy and John name inflatable Snoopy "Brad" and attach him to the bathroom ceiling. 

[theologygeek]

33 minutes ago, Palimpsest said:

He took it down and passively aggressively linked to a post on salvation because we were snarking on Teri's fervid descriptions and the absurdity of the Maxwells. Apparently some of our shots found their marks.

He has a hell of a nerve to talk.  I have no problem with what people believe and how they worship because I have a lot of religious tolerance.  But I have zero tolerance for extremists and he is an extremist.  He screws with the heads of the vulnerable for money.  That makes me sick and it makes God sick.  These vulnerable people just want to belong somewhere and they end up in a worse mess of a life when they follow these extremists.  Christian Picciolini helps people get out of that extreme lifestyle and he says the same things.  They are vulnerable and just want to belong to something. 

And what about when he took Sarah to the airport when she wanted to wear pants?  He criticized people at the airport.  How is that any different from what he's in a snit about now?  He needs to check his own salvation because if he thinks taking advantage of the vulnerable for money is the path to heaven, then he is in for a rude awakening. 

[IReallyAmHopewell]

2 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

And what about when he took Sarah to the airport when she wanted to wear pants? 

Wait?? How on Earth did I miss THIS???

[theologygeek]

5 minutes ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Wait?? How on Earth did I miss THIS???

I don't remember the whole story.  twin2 knew it.  Does she still post here? 

 

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

Good find!  But I bet it is Anna and Mary who do the actual detailing.

They were the ones who first came to my mind too. 

[Palimpsest]

19 minutes ago, theologygeek said:

I don't remember the whole story.  twin2 knew it.  Does she still post here? 

@twin2 last visited in December.  I hope she'll be back soon so I tagged her.

I think Steve took Sarah to the airport so they could sit there while he pointed out and critiqued defrauding female outfits.  Very creepy.  I don't remember the details.

[usmcmom]

1 hour ago, MamaJunebug said:

The thought of standing still for over an hour just listening to speeches breaks my emotional back andvwould surely leave me writing in pain — even as a 20-.something. I can’t imagine how uncomfy it became for Melanie, in her 40s, even as fit and slim as she is.  

I’d say it’s because ever since John announced his marriage to Steve and Teri and then the Bontragers announced it to the world, Steve has been a walking open wound, An ambulatory last frayed nerve!  All those who are not Maxwell family should be counting their blessings at not having to be around that in person!!!

I’m in the minority  in my defense of Chris and a little less so in my respect for Nathan, so I’ll say I think Nate’s posture is more him acceding to the photog’s direction to stand a little closer to Smugjo. Also that I think Chris gets an outsize portion of snark. But that’s a topic for another day, especially since I can’t quite put my finger on why I feel that way, and certainly have no empirical evidence!

I see your point and have definitely been one who snarked on Christopher a lot. 

Lately, though, something seems a bit different. It is a slight change and perhaps imagined on my part; but I am really starting to soften my view on him. Something about recent pictures portray him as a little bit softer and more human, in my opinion. Maybe it is because his wife seems genuinely happy. Maybe it's because I've seen a few genuine smiles from his kids. I can't explain it either, but I do wish I knew if something is indeed changing in him. 

Edited: bolding mine to clarify my response. 

[Mela99]

Okay that sounds even a little creepy for Maxwell and that's saying something...

As to if the newlyweds did any pre wedding smooching, there's NOOOOO way King Steve would EVER let them tell anyone, or let the news out. I assume there would just be excessive private shaming.

[Coconutwater]

6 minutes ago, Mela99 said:

Okay that sounds even a little creepy for Maxwell and that's saying something...

As to if the newlyweds did any pre wedding smooching, there's NOOOOO way King Steve would EVER let them tell anyone, or let the news out. I assume there would just be excessive private shaming.

He might have found out and made John fast for his “sin” to the point that he looks sick now. From the photos it looks like he ran out of that church. 

I wonder what Steve’s sister tho is of the way he’s screwed over his kids. I’m surprised she was there, wonder if that was all John’s doing. 

[MamaJunebug]

1 hour ago, nomoxian said:

There might be an interesting or even f*n story behind the choice of a dog, but of course that sort of thing wouldn't be considered blog-worthy material like polishing cabinets or dusting ceiling fans.

I’d be 90% sure the dog was a Bontrager family effort. Thus we’ll have to look there for info.