Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him

[Texas Heifer]

"May" it safe how, exactly? Do they have transportation, or did they hitchhike? I thought their motorhome was on the fritz until next month. Did I miss something?

Also, now I'm wondering if he and Sis Becky have been Doshing and driving. Tsk tsk

[JillsFlowerHeadband]

Ok folks

I've been away from Bro Ween for a while because real life has been taking over, but this never fails to get me every time:

 

His Dosh app clicking and sighing is a real job, huh? HAY-MEN!

 

On 1/12/2018 at 2:07 PM, Black Aliss said:

Okay, folks,

I just wanted to say how much I envy those of you who are blessed with headships who will share your love of all things Bro. Hawkins (and the Rodriguiae and the Maxhells and all the rest, although I don't give two effs about the Duggars and Bateseseses, and the Nauglers make my stomach turn). Brother Black  has zero appreciation for pink weens or Scary Clowns or Pink Drinks and he doesn't understand why I would let these people live inside my head. Pray for me.

Bro JFH is weirdly fascinated with Bro Ween (he's also interested in the Nauglers too as am I oops)... he calls him "the weird yelling guy with the gross food". LOL!!

Sis JFH, who is employed but not self employed (and whose food is not gross)

[MayMay1123]

6 hours ago, Texas Heifer said:

"May" it safe how, exactly?

 

andddddd he's talking to me again! bro gary? i'm getting a little weirded out now man

sister may-who wants to change her name but fj won't let me

[Tree Hugger 2]

OK Sistas.

On your recommendation and in the search for humor, I listened to the last two Bro videos while cleaning the kitchen.  It was fun!!   Isn't cleanliness next to Godliness?

  Since my home should be an earthly picture of the heavenly pattern I am motivated to maintain in a clean, orderly manner (John 14:1-4).

[PopRox]

So the dosh thing gives him cash when he "dines out?" You're telling me there's actually restaurants that serve pink weens and cornbread milks?

[Dandruff]

2 hours ago, PopRox said:

So the dosh thing gives him cash when he "dines out?" You're telling me there's actually restaurants that serve pink weens and cornbread milks?

Hope not. 

I imagine that Bro will settle for other high-class vittles such as KFC or McD's when the LORD sends along a piece of money during their travels.  Don't know if dosh rewards for the consumption of those particular cuisines, though.

[keepercjr]

I think the main point of them sighing up for dosh is so that the can convince others to sigh up and gain the sigh up bonuses without ever lifting their derrières off the sofa.  He says they have $100 between them now. 

[Coy Koi]

So I guess I'm the only one here who remembers this song (which always annoyed me, because saying "ha" over and over again for no reason is fucking annoying):

I'm imagining how amazing a G-Haw remix could be though ha. And wishing I had the skill and talent to throw one together, though sadly, I do not ha. But someone could if they wanted to but they wouldn't ha. They've never heard of a red ween ha. Even if they had, they got better things to do with their remix skills ha.

[Texas Heifer]

44 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

So I guess I'm the only one here who remembers this song (which always annoyed me, because saying "ha" over and over again for no reason is fucking annoying):

I'm imagining how amazing a G-Haw remix could be though ha. And wishing I had the skill and talent to throw one together, though sadly, I do not ha. But someone could if they wanted to but they wouldn't ha. They've never heard of a red ween ha. Even if they had, they got better things to do with their remix skills ha.

That was...surreal.  Ha.

I am not a rap fan. The only rap I have ever enjoyed was NWA's "Just Don't Bite It" because I was 17 and immature. Hahaha

Oh, I guess the Beastie Boys were amusing in my youth. I think I first heard them in 7th grade. 

I'm elderly and I like alternative rock, mostly.

Not that anyone cares what music I listen to. I am an insomniac with a persistent sinus infection, feeling icky so I'm rambling to you guys. Blah

I mean ha. Ha ha ha

[Coy Koi]

3 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

That was...surreal.  Ha.

I am not a rap fan. The only rap I have ever enjoyed was NWA's "Just Don't Bite It" because I was 17 and immature. Hahaha

Oh, I guess the Beastie Boys were amusing in my youth. I think I first heard them in 7th grade. 

I'm elderly and I like alternative rock, mostly.

Not that anyone cares what music I listen to. I am an insomniac with a persistent sinus infection, feeling icky so I'm rambling to you guys. Blah

I mean ha. Ha ha ha

I just absolutely love rap. Both love and hate it. It's the main type of music I love and listen to, but I have some real problems with some aspects of it (and so do a lot of rappers these days, happily!). And I'm really probably too old for most of this anyway. But I can't help what I like. I'm strongly against misogyny, violence, and drug abuse. I think there's a HUGE problem with those things in modern hip hop culture (and no doubt that is also true in MANY other subcultures). And I have almost NOTHING to do with any of it. I can't say "I think you're cool but please reconsider this part" because nobody cares what I say. All I can do is weigh in, in my aged part, and give my best.

[ElToro]

1 hour ago, Coy Koi said:

I just absolutely love rap. Both love and hate it. It's the main type of music I love and listen to, but I have some real problems with some aspects of it (and so do a lot of rappers these days, happily!). 

Agree absolutely. And I hate it when a song/artist I love turns out to be horrendously hateful.... but just so damn catchy (Beenie Man I'm looking at you). (showing my age)

In other news, my Headship just witnessed some of Bro Gary in action and has requested that I shout "Good Weens-HUH!!" and "HAYYYMEN!!!" during moments of Sweet Fellowship, so that he gets a reputation with the neighbours.

[FundieFarmer]

I have learned so much from Bro Gary.
•Paplal
•Don’t Dosh & Drive
•Cornbread milks
•Good weens
•Pink weens in ME!
•Jethro bowls, which as it turns out are actually how I like to eat my own cereal (I know gasp don’t judge plz)
•HAY-MAYUNNNN
•Why it is important to identify yourself by your birth weight
•How to incorporate KFC buckets as collection plates
•Using a trailer as a preaching stage
•How to guilt grift
•Why you should not-uh QUIT-uh for the LORD

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head but I know there are more.

[General Jinjur]

Ok folks, Dosh is a blessing from the LORD.

And Bro, we totally know that you don't just do anything think.

[FundieFarmer]

Ok folks, Dosh is a blessing from the LORD.
And Bro, we totally know that you don't just do anything think.

Is...is this a confession that (gasp) Bro Gary ran something past Sis Becky?!

[Carol]

Gary Hawkins

13 hrs · 

Ok folks my wife and myself have gotten over $150.00 from the app.  It is not something that you get and don't get anything from.  The app is also away to get money from different store restaurants shopping centers.  I don't just do anything think but after my wife check it out I say if it don't cost me anything if I don't have to get a real job and I can continue to sit on my ass all day go for it.  Glad I did it is paying for some of my trip to the camp meeting.  Times are hard so if I can make a dollar and not spend anything I'm all in I can grift for free without getting up off my couch I'm all in.  Also you that are skeptics of this do you shop on line you so know that people can get your card # from that. This to me is a Blessing from the LORD new way to not face reality.
Bro Gary Hawkins

 

Fixed this for you, Gary.

[Georgiana]

3 hours ago, FundieFarmer said:

I have learned so much from Bro Gary.
•Paplal
•Don’t Dosh & Drive
•Cornbread milks
•Good weens
•Pink weens in ME!
•Jethro bowls, which as it turns out are actually how I like to eat my own cereal (I know gasp don’t judge plz)
•HAY-MAYUNNNN
•Why it is important to identify yourself by your birth weight
•How to incorporate KFC buckets as collection plates
•Using a trailer as a preaching stage
•How to guilt grift
•Why you should not-uh QUIT-uh for the LORD

Those are just what I can think of off the top of my head but I know there are more.

I also enjoyed:

• Lac of Faith (which I assume is the scarlet, resinous substance secreted by faith/the faithful*)
• God doing the unpossible
• REAL man food eating
• A good wife spoon feeds her real MAN weenie gravy as he drives for real food eating
• God can't come in if Santa is there.  No, not Satan.  Santa.
• robtos
• My new favorite instrument: the "whatever you wanna call it hallelujah glory to God"

 

*Lac is the substance that creates lacquer, and it is an insect secretion 

[mango_fandango]

Some of you may know that I love playing The Sims. I just downloaded Outdoor Retreat for Sims 4. I was just looking up the features on Sims Wiki... guess what kind of party you can throw with Outdoor Retreat? A WEENIE ROAST!! You bet your ASS I'm going to do a Bro Gary spoof. Tis only a parody/spoof and not fanfiction so should be OK by FJ rules.

[mango_fandango]

Ok folks,

Here is Larry Porkins. He has a wife, Amy, and two kids, Caleb and Rosie. He's Lazy, Materialistic and a Bro. I was gonna make him a slob, but then I remembered the Bro trait, and there's only space for three traits in Sims 4.

Yours in Good Weens and Cornbread Milks,

Sis mango_fandango

[Texas Heifer]

8 hours ago, ElToro said:

In other news, my Headship just witnessed some of Bro Gary in action and has requested that I shout "Good Weens-HUH!!" and "HAYYYMEN!!!" during moments of Sweet Fellowship, so that he gets a reputation with the neighbours.

SEVERELY suggesting this to Bro Heifer. Rufus Bless.

[Georgiana]

Don't forget to shame everyone who goes to big box high dollar fancy stores like Wal*Mart.  God SPECIFICALLY TOLD Bro Gary to rant about Wal*Mart waste and Goodwill superiority.  If anyone ever buys something new for any reason ever, you are to SHAME them. HAY-MENNN GOOD PREACHING

And like I said, I love me a good thrift shop.  But you have to be realistic and understand that size and selection may be limited, especially in plus sizes.  If you can find a good thrift store that tends to have a lot of plus sizes, GREAT!  But those tend to be hard to come by.  Yes, Bro Gary, for KIDS thrift shops are AMAZING, but just because your kids can pick out 20 outfits doesn't mean your wife has that same selection available to her.  So if she needs to go to Wal*Mart to buy clothes that fit and look decent, you should SUPPORT HER. 

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Ok folks,

Here is Larry Porkins. He has a wife, Amy, and two kids, Caleb and Rosie. He's Lazy, Materialistic and a Bro. I was gonna make him a slob, but then I remembered the Bro trait, and there's only space for three traits in Sims 4.

Yours in Good Weens and Cornbread Milks,

Sis mango_fandango

I've never played the Sims, but is there a way you can make it so this character just shouts HAY-MEN and HALLELUJAH at everyone?  

[Texas Heifer]

Ok Folks,

I sent a screenshot of myself saying I was going to suggest @ElToro's Sweet Fellowship yelling to Bro Heifer, and then this followed.

.

Just FYI, I made Philly Cheesesteak meatloaf for dinner last night. And lo, Thor blessed it, and it was good.

Yours In REAL MAN FOOD EATING,

Sis Heifer

[Jellybean]

Don't forget about undating the website, @FundieFarmer

[Texas Heifer]

13 minutes ago, Georgiana said:

you have to be realistic and understand that size and selection may be limited, especially in plus sizes.  If you can find a good thrift store that tends to have a lot of plus sizes, GREAT!  But those tend to be hard to come by.  Yes, Bro Gary, for KIDS thrift shops are AMAZING, but just because your kids can pick out 20 outfits doesn't mean your wife has that same selection available to her.  So if she needs to go to Wal*Mart to buy clothes that fit and look decent, you should SUPPORT HER. 

THIS!

I have been plus-sized since 1995 (and was never not at least overweight past puberty, except for five minutes when I lost 27 pounds the summer after I graduated high school). Until I discovered Lane Bryant, I had hardly any clothes. I know how to shop online now, and there's a good selection, but I never buy anything used. Even after WLS 6 years ago, and losing 150 pounds, I still have never bought anything used except for some jeans on Ebay.

But @Georgiana, there are thrift shops all over the place where I live (I'm in the PNW too--not in, but near Portland), and knowing that plus-sized clothes are hard to find in such places has convicted me to take my pre-WLS clothes there, so thanks!

[Coy Koi]

1 hour ago, mango_fandango said:

Ok folks,

Here is Larry Porkins. He has a wife, Amy, and two kids, Caleb and Rosie. He's Lazy, Materialistic and a Bro. I was gonna make him a slob, but then I remembered the Bro trait, and there's only space for three traits in Sims 4.

Stop taunting me, you mean sis. I want to play Sims 4 so badly but I can't because me computer is being a huge jerk about it for some reason (the specs are well within the recommended range). My daughter plays it often on her computer, but she's really into the supernatural characters and stuff, and I've never been interested in that. I just want to play the idiotic normal people! (Until they get weather though, I'm still mad about it anyway. Like way too mad. WHY DOES IT TAKE SEVERAL YEARS TO GET SOME RAIN AROUND HERE?)

[Texas Heifer]

I'm planning on getting a laptop soon (have had only Kindle Fires for the past couple years), and y'all are making me want to play Sims. I have been interested for a long time, but never really been into gaming, other than MySpace and Facebook games for a time (and pre-Candy Crush), and I don't think that counts. Definitely never paid for any of it.

Perhaps soon that will change! Though I am soft-hearted, so I doubt I'll ever let them suffer.