Weenese 3: Brother Gary Hawkins Wanting God All Over Him

[MayMay1123]

8 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Ok folks,

I just went onto Bro Gary’s page for the first time. FB is auto-playing his FB live videos. No sound, praise GOD. I am trying very hard not to snigger too much. I might have to go back to the very first G-Haw thread for maximum entertainment.

GOOD WEENS to y’all!!

Sis mango_fandango

oh yessss! you must! its the funniest postings on FJ!

[General Jinjur]

OK folks, now Bro Ween has posted a link to one of those get-paid-for-shopping apps. He's just so dang determined not to get a real job. 

[MayMay1123]

17 minutes ago, General Jinjur said:

OK folks, now Bro Ween has posted a link to one of those get-paid-for-shopping apps. He's just so dang determined not to get a real job. 

i thought he didn't shop at those high dollar stores like walmart i wonder wth he actually does all day long...they are staying in someone's house, or a church home...most probably for free. they might get food from a pantry or a food bank, but i don't think they're bringing in any money. is he helping the church or where he is staying with repairs or maintenance or cleaning or gardening? i'm sure he thinks those things are beneath him, but sis becky might have to do all that to keep their residence until the bus is fixed. maybe he's just laying around on that couch all day, snuggling that blankie, just waiting for THE LORD to tell him to do a facebook live...

sis may-even though i can't work, i still do stuff

[General Jinjur]

It's one of life's greatest mysteries. I hope he's doing something to earn his keep. Becky's got a couple of MLM scams going on, but you know those aren't bringing in much. And now that they have fewer kids, they're probably not raking in the love offerings like they used to. Who would want to see a normal-sized family perform? Boring.

[Texas Heifer]

Ok Folks, 

"Folks" automatically pops up in my predictive text as soon as I type "Ok"...this has me in stitches, omg omg

Ahem ANYWAY. G-Haw has uploaded a new cover pic since he posted his money-back app (which I suspect is a scam), and it is STUNNING. Just exactly the type of photographic masterpiece one would expect. I am blown away!

BEHOLD:

[keepercjr]

He reposted the free cash link and then commented on his post.  All you need to do is sigh right up!

Spoiler

 

[Texas Heifer]

I think I just wet m'drawers 

HOW CAN YOU GET IT WRONG SO MANY TIMES?!

[smittykins]

So now you can get paid for sighing? 

[Texas Heifer]

He is just so consistently, ridiculously stupid.

[Jellybean]

Our architect referred to me as 'non ambient' for the purpose of fire regulations. I use an electric wheelchair and we're putting in a lift from the ground floor to our bedroom. I assume he meant 'non ambulant' but it was still all I could do not to shout 'HAY-MAYUN' in response. Husband and I laughed a lot about the 'non ambient' as I can't control my body temperature (poikilothermia, for those of you that collect nice words) so it's sort-of true!

[Texas Heifer]

What...what? What does this mean? Is someone hiding fried chicken? 

It's a dick move to hide fried chicken, but I'd believe it of any fundie Baptist, so.

[keepercjr]

@Texas Heifer I had no idea wtf styly is taking about.  What does hiding KFC have to do with preaching at a tent revival.

[Ozlsn]

11 minutes ago, Jellybean said:

Our architect referred to me as 'non ambient' for the purpose of fire regulations. I use an electric wheelchair and we're putting in a lift from the ground floor to our bedroom. I assume he meant 'non ambulant' but it was still all I could do not to shout 'HAY-MAYUN' in response. Husband and I laughed a lot about the 'non ambient' as I can't control my body temperature (poikilothermia, for those of you that collect nice words) so it's sort-of true!

Heh, that reminds me of a typo reported in a Dutch magazine - according to a news report a patient was transferred in an "ambiencewagen" rather than an "ambulancewagen". I hope it had mood lighting and essential oils.

[Texas Heifer]

Y'ALL. I just looked closer at the picture.

Colonel Sanders is INDEED HIDING. Twice!

Is he a tent revival sponsor?Thank Thor it's somewhat explained; I thought I was having a stroke. Still don't understand what that has to do with being Baptist, though.

[DancingPhalanges]

24 minutes ago, Texas Heifer said:

What...what? What does this mean? Is someone hiding fried chicken? 

It's a dick move to hide fried chicken, but I'd believe it of any fundie Baptist, so.

OK Sis'

There are two KFC buckets on the stage. Not exactly hiding? Anyhoo, the alcohol is hiding in the KFC buckets. 

Sigh sigh sigh sigh sigh WHERE'S MY MONEY!!!!

Sis Dancing P. 

Edit to add: Spot the KFC was solved haha

[Texas Heifer]

4 minutes ago, DancingPhalanges said:

Edit to add: Spot the KFC was solved haha

It's ok Sis, we figured it out at exactly the same time.

#TeamNancyDrew

[Coy Koi]

38 minutes ago, smittykins said:

So now you can get paid for sighing? 

Man, I am gonna be so rich. Walmart, here I come!

Now tell me I can get paid for rolling my eyes too, and Walmart can go fuck itself, because it's about to be Target from here on out.

[DancingPhalanges]

1 minute ago, Texas Heifer said:

It's ok Sis, we figured it out at exactly the same time.

#TeamNancyDrew

But WHY is the chicken there? Does he take a break from shouting and take a chicken leg break??? 

Sis Dancing

#caseofthebaptistchickenlegs

[Texas Heifer]

3 minutes ago, DancingPhalanges said:

 

#caseofthebaptistchickenlegs

Maybe they're collecting chicken legs for the Rod kids?

[DancingPhalanges]

4 minutes ago, Coy Koi said:

Man, I am gonna be so rich. Walmart, here I come!

Now tell me I can get paid for rolling my eyes too, and Walmart can go fuck itself, because it's about to be Target from here on out.

Sis. My teenager just gave me at least a $5 eye roll. Share with a sis if you figure out how to get paid for it. 

Sis. Dancing 

[MayMay1123]

dat der kfc is bro weenie's paymert fer da preechin, howl-lay-lou-yer! aint none of dat goin to no kids!

sissy may- also needs to get paid for sighing

[TheWayTheWorldWorks]

Ok folks, 

I feel like I up vote everything in this thread... I was excited it was "hot" and ran right over for the fun.  Thanks to you all.  Now Dosh... How many hotels are booked, online shopping completed and dining out do we really think Bro G is doing with this app?   Seems like an odd mix, sorta like oil and water or weens and gravy would be.

Sis World Works

[mango_fandango]

Ok Folks,

I saw this thread was hot. I was not disappointed. Y’all are EXCELLENT snarkers. Rufus Bless y’all, and give you good weens and cornbread milks (see spoiler). I hope y’all are Saved and Full of Gravy and in hog Heaven. (Much thanks to Sis @General Jinjur for posting the original screenshot).

Sis mango_fandango

Spoiler

I have no words.

 

[FundieFarmer]

I just read through this and Mr FF asked me what I was cackling about. Weener gets me EVERY time!! Cornbread milks [emoji23][emoji23][emoji23]

[Lillymuffin]

If I had $5 for every time a fundie made me sigh, I’d be a bazillionaire by now.