Maxwell 14: Editing Out Fun-Loving

[ViolaSebastian]

For as much as they supposedly cried after Nathan left, that description was so emotionless and flat. Poor Teri. 

[Candydandy]

6 hours ago, formergothardite said:

They are a very slow, very boring train wreck that you can't stop watching. They take the same un-vacations, eat the same food, clean the same cabinets, yet it is hard to stop checking in to see what they aren't doing. 

When you get done you HAVE to check out Jill Rod if you haven't already. That right there is a fast moving train wreck with more crazy than can be described. 

I boarded the Jill RV first - it is fast moving for sure!

[Four is Enough]

weird Al.....  I heart Weird Al... Another of his songs that relates to fundies is "Word Crimes".... LOL

[Hane]

3 hours ago, mango_fandango said:

Some of the comments about the day seem ridiculous too.

”The bride and groom dismissing us row by row was great!” SERIOUSLY?? That has to be a pisstake.

I got the impression that “the bride and groom dismissing us row by row” is a kind of variation on the receiving line, which allows the guests to greet and congratulate the couple individually.

[JermajestyDuggar]

Elizabeth Bontrager has been trained this past year to take over Chelsy's duties so they've been pretty positive for awhile now that John and Chelsy would eventually marry. Liz will play the piano in their family singing group and she will take over the laundry. The paragraph about Liz is extremely fundie in that they only talk about her living her gender approved roles. Like cooking and babysitting. And they let you know she hates book learnin' as much as her older sisters did. Them girls are too pretty to fill their heads up with ideas 

[lilith]

31 minutes ago, JermajestyDuggar said:

Elizabeth Bontrager has been trained this past year to take over Chelsy's duties so they've been pretty positive for awhile now that John and Chelsy would eventually marry. Liz will play the piano in their family singing group and she will take over the laundry. The paragraph about Liz is extremely fundie in that they only talk about her living her gender approved roles. Like cooking and babysitting. And they let you know she hates book learnin' as much as her older sisters did. Them girls are too pretty to fill their heads up with ideas 

Liz is in for a rough few years, especially if Allison marries in the next year or so, which wouldn't surprise me in the least. Rebecca seems somewhat babied by the whole family, so the vast majority of womanly chores (of which, in Bontrager land, there are many) are going to fall on Liz. 

While I don't condone it, I do understand why these fundie mothers pass on chores to their daughters when they are constantly pregnant or nursing and homeschooling and feeding a family. But they never seem to take back those responsibilities when the babies stop coming and the chaos subsides. 

Mama Bontrager no longer has little kids. She's only got 4 left in homeschool, and her older kids seem to do a lot of workbooks and self directed learning. There is no reason for 13 year old Elizabeth to be trained to take over from Chelsy as laundress - Mrs Bontrager could easily do it, or they could share the job among mother, Allison and Liz (or even the boys!).

The Bomtragers no longer need sister mothers - and they certainly don't need to make their 13 year old take on laundry duties for a still large family that includes farmers and their work clothes.

[Elegant Mess]

12 hours ago, Candydandy said:

In my quest for  more fundyknowledge I will be entering Maxhell. Is there a facebook page or just a blog? 

Let us know if you need the rescue ferrets!

As you dig through the previous years' blog posts, you may notice that the most interesting Maxwell was probably Uriah, their tour bus.  It was regularly breaking down and needed several windshield replacements.  Although not recorded for posterity on the Titus 2 blog, Uriah got humped by three FJers who went to one of their conferences and confronted Steve.

[dripcurl]

25 minutes ago, Elegant Mess said:

Let us know if you need the rescue ferrets!

As you dig through the previous years' blog posts, you may notice that the most interesting Maxwell was probably Uriah, their tour bus.  It was regularly breaking down and needed several windshield replacements.  Although not recorded for posterity on the Titus 2 blog, Uriah got humped by three FJers who went to one of their conferences and confronted Steve.

Someday I hope that I can be in on something like this.

[nomoxian]

9 hours ago, Howl said:

I was in my 40s before i discovered that double dipping was wrong, wrong, wrong.

How could I have forgotten to add that to my list of Nasty Things?! That was like the number one thing I hated other people doing, and they could never understand why I was so disgusted and often refused to eat anything at all. Apparently I was the one being "rude" (this was considered to be the case often times by adults, who I thought should know better)

[Palimpsest]

20 hours ago, IReallyAmHopewell said:

Thanks for the link to the old pages and Nathan/Mel's wedding. I can't even... I read a few sentences and needed Pepsi.

Ah, Nathan's wedding.  Ever wondered where Sarah gets her deadly dull use of passive voice from - Teri!  And Teri describes every single darn thing that didn't go exactly to plan to boot.

Passive voice is effective if you are writing bureaucratese or scientific papers but it deadens the narrative when you are writing fiction or a description of an exciting event like a wedding.  Take note, Sarah.

I've always felt a bit sorry for Teri over this bit.  I'm going to change the voice from passive to active at the beginning as an example for Steve.  Once Teri herself switches to active voice it almost sounds as though she is having F*N.

Quote

There was lots of happy chatter in the girls' The girls were happily chattering in their dressing room. Then suddenly we heard over the walkie-talkie told us that the guys were starting their photos so the girls should be in the final stage of getting ready. It became quite a We all had to rush to complete the girls dressing, load up all their things, and get them out to the bus. Melanie's mom and Jennifer (Melanie's older sister who was the maid of honor) were helping Melanie. I felt very useful, too, as I picked up clothes, shoes, brushes, hairspray, double-sided tape, you-name-it, and placed them in bags for the return trip home. I became the, “Mrs. Maxwell, could you please pin my scarf? Mrs. Maxwell, I haven't gotten my dress sprayed with static guard yet,” mom.

Aw.  Teri felt very useful.

[JermajestyDuggar]

@lilith

I do feel bad that Liz has to do all the laundry once Chelsy leaves. But at least she will be doing it with four less members in the house. I bet Chelsy had quite the job when all 12 were living at home and working on the farm. What a job that must've been. No wonder she had multiple posts on laundry. It was probably a fucking full time job. 

I would guess Ma Bon keeps fairly busy. These Bons aren't the lazy type. But I still hate how they keep to such strict gender roles. Even with stuff as insignificant as laundry. At least the Bowers family is Teaching their sons how to cook since their older girls are gone. I wish more Fundie families had only one sex of children so they would be forced to reevaluate their stupid beliefs on gender. 

Btw, from now on I'm going to refer to these upcoming nuptials as the Bonewell wedding. Because I know it would give Steve the vapors. 

[Howl]

12 hours ago, Elegant Mess said:

you may notice that the most interesting Maxwell was probably Uriah, their tour bus.

Yes, Uriah Heap, which at last showed some humor. 

[LurkerOverThePond]

That might have been the only time Poor Uriah was having what some might call fun.

[Hane]

2 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

That might have been the only time Poor Uriah was having what some might call fun.

A few years ago, Maxhell came to the suburban Connecticut town next to mine. I was unable to attend the shindig because I had to go to dress rehearsal for an ebil musical theater production of “The Producers,” in which I got to dress up as such unChristian characters as a nun and a lesbian. I did drive past the church and got to see Uriah, though I had no time to hump him.

The Maxhell account of their Connecticut visit was far less than glowing. Guess there were too many Catholic churches (and a Sikh temple!) and too few anti-abortion billboards.

[Palimpsest]

2 hours ago, Howl said:

Yes, Uriah Heap, which at last showed some humor. 

I hate to break the news to you, but Uriah the bus was named after Uriah the Hittite because he had a servant's heart.

Uriah Heep is a fictional character.  David Copperfield might be semi-autobiography but it still counts as fiction. Fiction is not real and far too much F+N! 

[kpmom]

1 hour ago, Palimpsest said:

I hate to break the news to you, but Uriah the bus was named after Uriah the Hittite because he had a servant's heart.

Uriah Heep is a fictional character.  David Copperfield might be semi-autobiography but it still counts as fiction. Fiction is not real and far too much F+N! 

I looked up Uriah the Hittite and OMG!  He was married to Bathsheba who got pregnant by King David.  Apparently the bible is sketchy about whether this was rape or just adultery.    David tried to cover up what he did by ordering Uriah to go back home (I guess in hopes that he would sleep with his wife and assume the baby was his).

When Uriah refused to leave his post David had him killed!  I can certainly see why the Maxwells would name their bus after a character in that cute little story.  

A regular little Peyton Place that bible is.

[SPHASH]

5 hours ago, LurkerOverThePond said:

That might have been the only time Poor Uriah was having what some might call fun.

You mean when FJers were humping him I take it.

[Howl]

3 hours ago, Palimpsest said:

I hate to break the news to you, but Uriah the bus was named after Uriah the Hittite because he had a servant's heart.

Uriah Heep is a fictional character.  David Copperfield might be semi-autobiography but it still counts as fiction. Fiction is not real and far too much F+N! 

Yes,  they named it after the Biblical Uriah, but I'm pretty sure I saw a post where the Maxwells referred to Uriah in it's latter days as Uriah Heap, as in an old wreck of a car. 

It's not out of the realm of possibility that the older Maxwells are passingly familiar with Dickens.  They might like the parts dealing with calorie restriction. 

[Palimpsest]

27 minutes ago, Howl said:

It's not out of the realm of possibility that the older Maxwells are passingly familiar with Dickens.

Possibly.  But if you can find where they quoted Dickens and link to it on their blog I will take my hat off to you.

Two scientists who think secular literature is ebil.  I'm so very skeptical. 

[CyborgKin]

On 26/10/2017 at 10:34 AM, Four is Enough said:

weird Al.....  I heart Weird Al... Another of his songs that relates to fundies is "Word Crimes".... LOL

Whenever someone mentions eBay I think of Weird Al's eBay song.

[mango_fandango]

Don't the Bontrager guys do cooking sometimes too? Don't think they cook an entire meal by themselves, though, but I suppose it is something... And even the Maxwell men make breakfast on Christmas morning, although after this year it'll only be Steve and Jesse doing it. That's the only time we ever hear about the Maxwell men cooking. 

[anniebgood]

On 10/25/2017 at 12:40 PM, mango_fandango said:

At least we didn't get the tortilla recipe again. We've had that loads of times.

I WANT THE PIZZA CUTTER LETTUCE TIP DAMMIT. *sits crossly in corner with arms folded*

Are you stamping your feet too? 

[mango_fandango]

I stomped all the way to the corner. 

Maybe they just forgot. But still, they've posted their tortilla recipe multiple times, and the poppy seed loaf multiple times. 

*mutter mutter*

[Dandruff]

On 10/25/2017 at 11:25 PM, Elegant Mess said:

As you dig through the previous years' blog posts, you may notice that the most interesting Maxwell was probably Uriah, their tour bus.  It was regularly breaking down and needed several windshield replacements.  Although not recorded for posterity on the Titus 2 blog, Uriah got humped by three FJers who went to one of their conferences and confronted Steve.

I'm going to guess that it was a nice change for Uriah, following years of service to the Maxwell Ministry of the Mundane.

[SPHASH]

New post up.  Griselda Teri talks about Bible Time and throws shade on Coward Steve's parents for not installing it in his young life.  Fuck you Teri.