Lori Alexander 31: The Viral Godly Tudor

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I clicked on Lori's latest blog about saving money -- not reailzing it was an old blog post written by someone else.

The first comment was an eye-opener.  Seems the woman has found the perfect SAHM job that earned her $25K in 5 months.  And what you asked could that possibly be?  Was it legal? Oh yes it's legal, although possibly not the job that most women might want. 

At this point you're dying to know. Amiright or an I right?.  OK -- I won't keep you in suspense any longer.

The commenter was a surrogate. Consider that for a moment.

Yes FJ-ers the then 27-yr SAHM of 4 decided to be a surrogate to help pay off her and hubby's student loans.

It was ... well ..... certainly a unique and interesting answer to what kind of job a SAHM can do to make money. Although I have to think it's not the answer 99.999999999% of SAHMs would think of.

Not sure what prompted the surrogate decision, except maybe the money -- but she did go on and on and on about Dave Ramsey's financial course, so her decision seemed to be related. But again but I'm not sure.  I'm positive though that Ramsey doesn't suggest surrogacy as a solution to becoming debt-free.

[Carol]

Lori has taken down the "Don't Drink Alcohol", video!  I gotta wonder why.    

POOF!!

Fortunately, it's still on FJ!  

[Petronella]

On 12 October 2017 at 7:42 PM, Hisey said:

Same here! We considered homeschooling because Mr. Hisey and I love to be around our kids and we love teaching them stuff. But the kids were horrified. They love their friends and the social interaction. They love the wide range of activities that school offers, that we never could. I like to teach my kids, but I could never teach algebra, do science experiments, organize the school play, show kids how to bind a book and run Science Bowl all in one day. Yet my kids experience all that in a single day.

Plus, if I were to be honest, I would start to go crazy having no time for myself. I don't have the right personality for homeschooling.

My general view is that school is best if your children are thriving there.  If your kids are unhappy (because of bullying, a learning disability, etc) or unsuccessful, then home is best.

Hisey, I agree with you that the personality of the child is an important factor when considering homeschooling. Also (of course!) the personality of the parents! And that it suits some kids/families and not others.

But I disagree with the bolded. The way this is phrased posits homeschooling only in response to a negative experience with school, rather than as something that may have its own positives. Homeschooling can be great! All on its own merits.

Full disclosure: we homeschool. Also, we put our older one in school at the right time for him. Both school and homeschool have been great for us.

My sons were not bullied or disabled (or etc ;-). We homeschooled for positive reasons, not to get away from school, which we also viewed as a positive place.

[Koala]

New video up:

Quote

I spend a lot time now watching my grandbabies.  I go see my mom...my old mom.

What on earth?  That's like the second time she's specified that she visits her "sick, old mom".  News flash, Lori: You're no spring chicken, yourself.

Also, that china cabinet is a mess.  A cluttered mess.

 

[smittykins]

30 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

I clicked on Lori's latest blog about saving money -- not reailzing it was an old blog post written by someone else.

The first comment was an eye-opener.  Seems the woman has found the perfect SAHM job that earned her $25K in 5 months.  And what you asked could that possibly be?  Was it legal? Oh yes it's legal, although possibly not the job that most women might want. 

At this point you're dying to know. Amiright or an I right?.  OK -- I won't keep you in suspense any longer.

The commenter was a surrogate. Consider that for a moment.

Yes FJ-ers the then 27-yr SAHM of 4 was decided to be at surrogate to help pay off her and hubby's student loans.

It was ... well ..... certainly a unique and interesting answer to what kind of job a SAHM can do to make money. Although I have to think it's not the answer 99.999999999% of SAHMs would think of.

Not sure what prompted the surrogate decision, except maybe the money -- but she did go on and on and on about Dave Ramsey's financial course, so her decision seemed to be related. But again but I'm not sure.  I'm positive though that Ramsey doesn't suggest surrogacy as a solution to becoming debt-free.

Surrogate as in surrogate mother?  Somehow I can’t picture The Godly Mentor being on board with having someone else’s egg and sperm in your body.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

Hmmm .... Lori is spending alot of time now watching her grandchildren.  First of all I'd like to know her definition of 'a lot of time', and how often she visits her mother.

But mostly I'd love to hear her explain why she's watching the grandchildren,  Could it possibly be that her DIL's jewelry business has taken off and is fast becoming a career?  The kind of career where she's working every day from her home"studio" as well as being out and about selling, meeting vendors and buyers, attending trade shows and other business related activities.  In other words leaving her home and children for hours a day.

Oh no say it ain't so.  One of Lori's godly offspring (TM) married to a woman with a job ... a career (shudder, horrors).  One who leaves her children with strangers (because let's  face it Lori is fairly strange) for hours at a time.

God Lori won't be pleased.  Of course, like everything else with her family, she'll never explain it.  To sets of rules ya know:  one for the Alexanders and one for everyone else.  Do as Lori commands says, not as she does.

 

[Hisey]

24 minutes ago, Petronella said:

Hisey, I agree with you that the personality of the child is an important factor when considering homeschooling. Also (of course!) the personality of the parents! And that it suits some kids/families and not others.

But I disagree with the bolded. The way this is phrased posits homeschooling only in response to a negative experience with school, rather than as something that may have its own positives. Homeschooling can be great! All on its own merits.

Full disclosure: we homeschool. Also, we put our older one in school at the right time for him. Both school and homeschool have been great for us.

My sons were not bullied or disabled (or etc ;-). We homeschooled for positive reasons, not to get away from school, which we also viewed as a positive place.

I see what you are saying. It's nice to hear that you felt school was a positive place. I get so tired of homeschoolers who spend so much time and energy putting down school, almost like a defensive mechanism. 

My comment was a generalization, and I can certainly understand that it doesn't apply in every situation. As I mentioned, I think homeschooling would've been fun, and it would certainly have been nice to be free from the stupid academic schedule!

I just feel that the social aspect of school is vitally important to many kids. That after age 10 or so, many kids would hate spending the day just with their mom/dad, and even homeschooling coops or educational field trips don't fill the bill in the same way.

Most kids just light up when they are with other kids. From what I've seen, homeschooled kids will often ask to go to school at around aged 8-12, IF they know their parents will hear them. If they have parents like the Duggars, who definitely would not hear or respect such a request, then they dont' ask, and they become like Joy Anna Duggar, scornful and disparaging of a place they've never stepped foot in.

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

@smittykins Yes surrogate as in surrogate mother.  The comments are very clear on that.  I was surprised Lori let the comment in.  Perhaps she doesn't know what a surrogate is so Lori didn't realize all the new life, pregnancy references were about carrying a child for someone else for the money. 

[Hisey]

2 minutes ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

Hmmm .... Lori is spending alot of time now watching her grandchildren.  First of all I'd like to know her definition of ''a lot of time, and how often she visits her mother.

But mostly I'd love to hear her explain why she's watching the grandchildren,  Could it possibly be that her DIL's jewelry business has taken off and is fast becoming a career?  The kind of career where she's working every day from her home"studio" as well as being out and about selling, meeting vendors and buyers, attending trade shows and other business related activities.  In other words leaving her home and children for hours a day.

Oh no say it ain't so.  One of Lori's godly offspring (TM) married to a woman with a job ... a career (shudder, horrors).  One who leaves her children with strangers (because let's  face it Lori is fairly strange) for hours at a time.

God Lori won't be pleased.  Of course, like everything else with her family, she'll never explain it.  To sets of rules ya know:  one for the Alexanders and one for everyone else.  Do as Lori commands says, not as she does.

 

If you read the DIL's instragram, and look at her Etsy page, it seems like she is doing really well, making lots of sales, and getting a lot of joy and satisfaction from it. She likely needs those kids out of the house to fill her orders.

Plus, I don't know if Ken's business can support two families, particularly a growing family like Ryan's with little children. Probably good Erin is making some money.

[Petronella]

1 minute ago, Hisey said:

I see what you are saying. It's nice to hear that you felt school was a positive place. I get so tired of homeschoolers who spend so much time and energy putting down school, almost like a defensive mechanism. 

 

Agree!! I hate that "homeschool is the ONLY way" stuff. Whenever we meet new people and our homeschooling comes up, I always clarify very quickly that we don't hate school :-) School can be great!

Quote

My comment was a generalization, and I can certainly understand that it doesn't apply in every situation. As I mentioned, I think homeschooling would've been fun, and it would certainly have been nice to be free from the stupid academic schedule!

I just feel that the social aspect of school is vitally important to many kids. That after age 10 or so, many kids would hate spending the day just with their mom/dad, and even homeschooling coops or educational field trips don't fill the bill in the same way.

Most kids just light up when they are with other kids. From what I've seen, homeschooled kids will often ask to go to school at around aged 8-12, IF they know their parents will hear them. 

Eh. Just as homeschoolers who have never been to school shouldn't disparage what they don't know, I'm not a fan of people who have never homeschooled saying that homeschooling is inherently "spending the day just with their mom/dad."

"Homeschooling" is a tricky word, because it defines what someone doesn't do (go to school/send their kids to school) rather than what they do do. There are MANY MANY different ways of educating outside of school.

Just as you've seen homeschooled kids ask to go to school, I've seen schooled kids, feeling overwhelmed by activities and pressures, ask to be homeschooled. Grass is greener, etc.

So long as a kid is being supported and educated, I'm happy.

[fundamentallyfearless]

Is surrogacy all that bad...? I know a woman who was a surrogate and carried TWINS for another couple. God bless her, she looked like she was nine months pregnant with one when in reality she was 4.5 months pregnant with two. Although I see why people think Lori might be against it if she knew what it was... is surrogacy in and of itself a bad thing? 

[Sarah92]

What's the daughter in laws etsy? I enjoy supporting people on etsy and well I love jewelry! 

[Emilycharlotte]

24 minutes ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

Is surrogacy all that bad...? I know a woman who was a surrogate and carried TWINS for another couple. God bless her, she looked like she was nine months pregnant with one when in reality she was 4.5 months pregnant with two. Although I see why people think Lori might be against it if she knew what it was... is surrogacy in and of itself a bad thing? 

I think the issue isn't whether it's a bad thing, which is a matter of personal opinion---the issue is that it seems unlikely that Lori would support it, and so it's kind of odd that she used a guest-post from a surrogate mother, especially since she thinks anyone who disagrees with her is not a a "real Christian."

On the other hand, it is also kind of typical. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

I don't think surrogacy per se is bad,, but the commenter made it clear she was a doing it to for the money.  At the time she wrote the comment, she had received $25.000.00.  All of which she put toward the student loan debt -- "it is bringing in extra income allowing us to pay 25k on student loans the last 5 months."

I just thought it was odd ... interesting ... unusual .... unique that Lori's leghumper fangirl, a self-professed Chritian SAHM with 4 children doing the extreme-frugal-living-on-one-income-life, chose surrogacy to make extra money.  I wondered if she would make/ made the same choice again for the money.

She used the sacred Norwex cloths, but said she was saving money by only cleaning with water.  She was all about the family cloth, the mama cloth and bragged that she tried never to turn on the lights to save money on electricity.  I had a vision of the family sitting in the dark at night or going to bed as soon as it was dark.

Surrogacy seemed to me a extreme answer to being an extreme cheapskate and becoming debt free.

Edited to add -- I don't think Lori knows what surrogate means, which is why she let the comment in.

[CelticGoddess]

22 hours ago, Carol said:

After reading some of her previous remarks about alcohol, I'm throwing this out because I think this is a distinct possibility.  

Ken has told Lori she drinks too much.  Her response is to immediately want to stop everyone else who drinks because she knows she should quit.  If she can't have it, no one else can, either.

 

I could believe this.  And if she does drink too much, liver issues might be in her future.  Just saying.

6 hours ago, EowynW said:

I just use a diva cup. I do have a pack of quality reusable pads I bought before I got married but, I just can't quite bring myself to use them yet. 

I used to use reusable flannel pads (love menopause, no more periods)  I can't remember where I bought them but they were the only things I could use because regular pads made me break out in a rash.  They aren't so bad. Wash them like you would wash cloth diapers.

[Hisey]

4 hours ago, Petronella said:

Agree!! I hate that "homeschool is the ONLY way" stuff. Whenever we meet new people and our homeschooling comes up, I always clarify very quickly that we don't hate school :-) School can be great!

Eh. Just as homeschoolers who have never been to school shouldn't disparage what they don't know, I'm not a fan of people who have never homeschooled saying that homeschooling is inherently "spending the day just with their mom/dad."

"Homeschooling" is a tricky word, because it defines what someone doesn't do (go to school/send their kids to school) rather than what they do do. There are MANY MANY different ways of educating outside of school.

Just as you've seen homeschooled kids ask to go to school, I've seen schooled kids, feeling overwhelmed by activities and pressures, ask to be homeschooled. Grass is greener, etc.

So long as a kid is being supported and educated, I'm happy.

It's true I've never homeschooled, but I do know a lot of homeschoolers, good friends, actually. And while their whole day isn't spent with mom and dad, a lot of it is. I don't think it's so terrible to spend the day with someone who loves you, but I think that as kids start to grow up, they need more.

The main problem I have with homeschooling parents is that they are SO QUICK to take offense, to justify, to insist their way was right. I don't see that so much with PS parents, truthfully. Maybe because there is so much societal support for what PS parents are doing, or maybe because HS parents give up so much to HS that they need to feel their way is the One Right Way.

If your kids are happy and getting educated, then that's great. You obviously know them best. As long as there is no harmful agenda, a la the Duggars, then I say live and let live. 

I still think that--best case scenario--with kids who can be happy in either setting--that kids miss out on a lot by long-term homeschooling. They just do. There's no way I can re-create the things my high schooler is experiencing, for example. I'm not talking academics--maybe I could re-create that (though a lot would involve boring computer teaching). It's the choir retreats, the school plays, the art classes with their expensive equipment and instruction, etc. .There just isn't the structure for teaching kids these things outside the classroom. It can happen (like if your friend owns an art studio and can mentor your artistic kid) but it is harder and less likely to happen.

What I see with fundies is that they are overwhelmed, so they decide that things like physics, calculus or European history "aren't important." Or that "If they are inclined that way, they'll ask to be taught these things." That drives me crazy.

[freealljs]

Lori...well, these Youtube videos are hurting her "ministry."

She's happiest being generous and serving.  Um no. What is her definition of generous? Not complaining of potatoes? Telling her grandchildren about snakes? Seriously, she expects everyone around her to sing her praises all the time, which makes me wonder why she even bothers having comments on her social media.

I have a feeling that life in Lorken's house is not all roses. Something is different lately. Can't put my finger on it, just a hunch.

 

[fundamentallyfearless]

Something I've noticed that irks me... Lori always talks about Alyssa as though Alyssa "gave up" ballet... But Alyssa is very much active and uses ballet as a CAREER *gasp*. Shame on Lori for demeaning Alyssa's passion as though marriage made ballet extinct. No, no, double no.

[99bottlesofPlexus]

10 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

@smittykins Yes surrogate as in surrogate mother.  The comments are very clear on that.  I was surprised Lori let the comment in.  Perhaps she doesn't know what a surrogate is so Lori didn't realize all the new life, pregnancy references were about carrying a child for someone else for the money. 

Maybe she thinks surrogate is another term for nanny. We all know Lori is in favor of nannies, in spite of claiming mothers should be the only people caring for their children. 

[Carol]

Lori, really needs to update the number of stars on her latest post regarding a review of her book on Amazon.  She has it at 3 stars...hasn't been that for awhile.  It's 2.5 stars with fully 52% of reviews giving it 1 star.

Don't lie, Lori, god condemns liars and sends them directly to hell.  Plus, he hates bad writing and thinks you should give up your blog and move into a cloistered nunnery.  Also, quit drinking.  Alcohol is the Devil's tea.

 

[onemama]

15 hours ago, Sarah92 said:

I enjoy that she mentions the millions of people who don't have enough to eat and yet what does she do about that?  I mean I know I don't do nearly enough but I hope to get better at it. And again a jab at modern conveniences and how that's the only reason mothers work. No, how about they don't want their kids to starve? And not all parents have access to washers and driers to clean those cloth products. I doubt the laundry mat would appreciate them washing those type of soiled clothes. 

Say "how tragic", that's all I've seen her do. She likes to talk about everything she does, so I'm sure we would have heard or read about it by now, if she were actively involved in helping the needy.  I think she views her blogging as her ministry. 

Like you, I'm workin on doing more for the needy. It's hard when you don't have much of an income and have growing kids. 

As for using cloth products to save money, imo, it's not the best way to save money, especially if you tumble dry it!  

[onemama]

The cloth lady works outside of the home:

Quote

I work at our local YMCA to get a free family membership.

 

[KDA]

20 hours ago, fundamentallyfearless said:

Money saving tip: Period underwear. I own them and use them. Not sure about mama cloth but sounds uncomfortable. The period underwear, however, really are great! As for reusable toilet paper.... yeah no 

I have no idea what period underwear are but mama cloth is great!! I'm a total convert  I love the Charlie Banana brand on Amazon. So soft and comfortable. I'm NEVER going back to plastic disposable pads! And if you put them on the floor of the shower while you're in there and stomp on them, they rinse out really nicely, so easy to just chuck into the washing machine.

But ewww ... the "family cloth" (washable toilet paper) is never happening in my house!! I would send the kids outside to gather leaves, or rip up newspaper, before I'm washing rags covered in family poo! That is just gross. I think I would vomit.

16 hours ago, Red Hair, Black Dress said:

 

Yes FJ-ers the then 27-yr SAHM of 4 decided to be a surrogate to help pay off her and hubby's student loans.

It was ... well ..... certainly a unique and interesting answer to what kind of job a SAHM can do to make money. Although I have to think it's not the answer 99.999999999% of SAHMs would think of.

Not sure what prompted the surrogate decision, except maybe the money -- but she did go on and on and on about Dave Ramsey's financial course, so her decision seemed to be related. But again but I'm not sure.  I'm positive though that Ramsey doesn't suggest surrogacy as a solution to becoming debt-free.

Where I live, it's illegal to be paid to be a surrogate. Expenses are legally allowed to be covered, but that's it. And as maternity care is free here, legitimate expenses don't amount to much. Friends had a child via surrogacy last year, for less than $5000, including airfares to attend scans, appointments, the birth, and bringing bubby home. The surrogate mother is still in contact with the family and did it for love, not any other reason. I just can't imagine anyone wanting to be a surrogate for money. And if fundie-Christians are doing it, aren't they worried that the life they're bringing into the world won't be raised to know God? Maybe they put that down in the terms and conditions on their rent-a-uterus form?

To add: I have nothing against surrogacy. As said above, it enabled a friend to have a family. But when it's done as a money-making venture, then I'm pretty anti.

[quiversR4hunting]

13 hours ago, Hisey said:

<snipped> There's no way I can re-create the things my high schooler is experiencing, for example. I'm not talking academics--maybe I could re-create that (though a lot would involve boring computer teaching). It's the choir retreats, the school plays, the art classes with their expensive equipment and instruction, etc. .There just isn't the structure for teaching kids these things outside the classroom. It can happen (like if your friend owns an art studio and can mentor your artistic kid) but it is harder and less likely to happen.

I agree 1000% with this. The other thing homeschooling cannot duplicate is diverse conversations about a topic. Even if the homeschooling family belong to a co-op. The co-ops I am familiar with are of the same religion (Pentecostal or Nazarene) or political leaning (hippie/new age) which means kids are listening to many of the same opinions. (Birds of a feather flock together is the saying that goes through my mind with these homeschool co-ops). Now the school district we live in is a little country with parents working in the near by (less than 20 minutes to downtown) 100,000 people town. Most of the kids live in rural neighborhoods built on some of the farm land. There is some homogenous in wages and ancestry but there is a range of political and religious leanings. In school, the kids get to learn to stand up for their own beliefs or challenge the family beliefs. Homeschooling cannot recreate these types of interactions.

I always reference a friend from school, she homeschools her 5 kids. She was a C average student. She didn't like school but she was in band, SADD and went to all the dances (including prom), football games and many basketball games. Her husband was church schooled (His church had a "school", it was basically a small portable trailer with computers- think workbooks on computers and this was the late 80s early 90s-  all of his cousins and siblings went to it, class size maybe 3 or 5 people per class. Precursor to homeschooling, I think. ) but he benefited from his now wife's public schooling, he joined her at prom, homecoming and sporting events. She was also allowed to leave the Catholic school (we went 1-6 grades, she came back to Catholic school after a semester or so at the small church school, she found it too boring, IIRC) because she no longer agreed with the Catholic teaching in elementary school and she was allowed to church hop as an elementary, middle and high school student. Yet their kids are homeschooled and home churched. I am working on the 25 year reunion for my class and I am sure she will be there as she was at 5, 10 and 20 year.

13 hours ago, Hisey said:

What I see with fundies is that they are overwhelmed, so they decide that things like physics, calculus or European history "aren't important." Or that "If they are inclined that way, they'll ask to be taught these things." That drives me crazy

This is the saddest thing about some homeschoolers. Some do a great job and send them to the local community college for such classes or send them to public school for some classes but sadly, many just don't bother.

*note not all homeschoolers are like our horrible examples on FJ, many of you on here homeschool, that works for you. This commentary not attacking you if you are doing homeschooling right, it is attacking the homeschoolers that are fearful of the world and sheltering their children and not teaching them a well-rounded education.

[Koala]

How interesting.  We mention the overwhelmingly negative reviews for The Power of a Transformed Wife, and Lori immediately digs through to find someone willing to praise her in the way she thinks she deserves to be praised.

Quote

I cannot praise this book enough. I only wish I had found both Lori's blog and her book a lot sooner

Quote

 I firmly believe that if one has the 'ears to hear' the scriptural teachings Mrs. Alexander expounds so well, it could truly change and even save their marriage.

Quote

My hat is off to Lori Alexander for writing such a book, for keeping her blog going through thick and thin, and for never pulling her punches as she speaks truth plainly, as well as from a heart of love for others

Funny thing about this review-  Lori posting it out of the blue might make you think it was recent.  I checked.  It was posted on July 25th.  She just wanted to brag on herself a little, so she searched through 5 star reviews, until she found the one that reflected just the right amount of star worship.

Meanwhile, she is sending people directly to the negative reviews.  

I also noticed that she trashed Sara Young (again) in today's post.  She's having a fit because no one likes her book.