Lori Alexander 31: The Viral Godly Tudor

[church_of_dog]

54 minutes ago, usmcmom said:

If you start to feel faint - call the fire department. 

Dunno, they’re too busy holding invisible puppies...

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Regina, no need to take a deep breath! Lori talks about poop all the time. Once when she was trying to squeeze out 2lbs a day and just recently with a bout of diarrhea.  Lori will gladly publish your comment, don't worry, because discreet women talk about these things. Just don't mention flossing. Whatever you do, don't mention flossing, especially if you do so in front of your husband. 

 

[Koala]

Making multiple posts asking for positive Amazon reviews / paying Facebook for attention / monitoring other adults on the internet= How Godly Older Women spend their days

Just think how unhappy God would be if she got a job!

[Imrlgoddess]

I'd bet dollars to donuts MrsLoriAlexander caught a nice glimpse one evening and found herself admiring said sight!  I mean, Cleeeaarrrly a modest and righteous woman would NEVAH Evah evah look upon the flesh of *gasp* another woman! and get excited.  Ya know.  Cause de gays.  and de homophobes.  and de liberals.  and de feministseses.  

Now I want to run around with streamers and pom poms and sing:  "Lori liked a booootyyy....Lori liked a boootyyyy"   

[SuperNova]

Omg! This just in! Women.....deep breath....women poop! Did you know? Lori poops from her mouth all the time and no one is asking her to cover her face. #doublestandards

I think Regina's ponytail may be a little too tight and she's not getting enough oxygen to her brain. Or she's a moron. 

@ImrlgoddessI'm pickin it up! Lori liked a boootyyyy! Lori liked a boootyyy!! Hahahaha! 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

Ohhh and don't forget..she talks about people "pooping" on her blog.

[mango_fandango]

What is it with fundies and talking about subjects that are usually taboo in polite society? AFAIK only Lori is obsessed with poop, but all fundies are OBSESSED with sex. Modesty my ass.

[Red Jumper]

1 hour ago, Celtic Rose said:

Also did Ken go into Europe a lot on business trips.  Hope he was not near any beaches

Sorry, to destroy any hopes about only modest people in Europe: I am from an European, landlocked country. So, no beaches here. (what we call a "beach" is bordering a lake,a river, a canal,..). You want to see naked booties? Choose a public outdoor pool or lake side. Thong bikinis are not in fashion right now but perhaps you are lucky. As a bonus at most public pool there are always a few women who go top-less. If that's not enough for the creep-xanders, there are areas at the river Danube (which runs right through our capital) which are public nude (swimming) zones. The entry is free, but I can't guarantee there are only young, athletic beauties to see. Last summer we had some peeping-tom incidents there, so Lori might feel right at home. She should watch out though as police was very quickly involved. You want to come up close with naked bodies? Try a public sauna or steam room: We are completely nude there, only sitting on the towel. Most are open for all genders at the same time for the majority of days! Lori could use ladies only time slots/days. She just should not strike up a conversation (only stare, no godly mentoring) as it's a quiet zone. Lorken might get a little bit in trouble if they touch (if you stare, you will get called out too and perhaps the staff will gently ask you to leave, but normally we just avoid anyone with bad manners)

On the otherside, if lorken chose the wrong public pool, they would encounter a lot of very modestly dressed people (hijab/ male knees covered) who on average have a lot more children. They just don't happen to be Christians. Normally they are very friendly and would just tell Lorken, what I as a Christian woman would also tell them: F.o. and mind your own business.

Feel free to travel to Austria in the summer! (Except when you an a..., then simple move to Pluto and get lost)

[Mellowing With Age]

I wonder if as Lori gets older, she is jealous of how these younger women look? That how she sees herself in the mirror is what this boils down to, she is not sexy like they are. Ken doesn't make enough money for her to have a gym membership and a personal trainer working with her several days a week. She also probably cannot afford a little bit of surgery here or there to help with her problem areas so she feels less than. For as thin as she is, her thighs looked larger than I would have thought in the shorts picture from Door County. 

She strikes me as very vain, and is surrounded by younger women and beauty. Since her inside is ugly as sin, she does not have kindness that radiates and makes people just want to be around her. She's harsh, she's mean, and her looks will not get her a free pass anymore. 

She knows that Ken notices these younger women, and it angers her. They do have a partnership. Ken keeps her because it is probably cheaper to keep her at this point than to get a divorce and have half of what he owns, goes to her. 

They are both vile and deserve the misery that is their home life. I am sure Ken likes Lori having her blog/chat room because it keeps her busy and out of his hair. The more controversial her posts, the busier he is. They were probably out beach walking and he was just looking for a thong clad young blonde girl. "Oh look Lori, look at her. Can you believe what she has on? Is that a thong? Does she even have anything on?" Lori is huffing and puffing and inside Ken is chuckling. He has a few days of peace and quiet as she vents on the internet and has to monitor all the comments. Well played Ken, well played. 

[louisa05]

@Mellowing With Age Everything you say makes sense except one thing: 

Lori is way too lazy to go to the gym or work with a trainer. No way in hell she'd put in that kind of work. She needs to sleep late, lay on her lounge chair in the sun, and otherwise avoid physical activity. 

[dairyfreelife]

What does she mean thong bathing suits are new? Baywatch was a thing when her children were babies. I've rarely seen such suits, but I also grew up several hours from an ocean and the lakes and pools are only warm enough to swim in for a couple months a year so it was and is not a problem for me. Same with a good portion of the US actually. Lori could leave So Cal, but why would she want to do that? She won't change her life. She will ask everyone else to change theirs instead. 

[fundamentallyfearless]

Someone PLEASE introduce Lori to “The Blue Lagoon”  I’ve never watched it but have definitely read up about the “scandalous” immodesty contained in it. It’d be hilarious to watch her head spin.

[Koala]

A reader just posted asking how Lori could be so hyper obsessed with modesty, when there are so many real problems like human rights issues, poverty, health care, etc.

Lori replied that the Bible didn't say anything about those issues (except, oh yes it did), but it had plenty to say about women being modest/chaste/discrete.  

Then she deleted both of their comments.  Did anyone happen to get a screen shot of that?

[Koala]

By the way, the answer (if the reader really wants to know), is that Lori doesn't have to worry about human rights issues, poverty, or health care, and she doesn't care if anyone else does, either. In her (simple) mind, that means: If Lori doesn't care about human rights, poverty, or health care, neither does God.

What she does have to worry about, is a husband with a wandering eye.  That, and like someone mentioned upthread, the fact that she is very vain, and rapidly aging.  

Seriously, people are literally dying of starvation, and Lori thinks the Lord's sitting around worrying about thong bikinis.

[Curious]

40 minutes ago, Koala said:

Seriously, people are literally dying of starvation, and Lori thinks the Lord's sitting around worrying about thong bikinis.

People (US citizens) are drinking water out of a superfund site, but someone is showing a butt cheek on the beach so clearly that's more important than the humanitarian crisis happening.

[Sarah92]

39 minutes ago, Koala said:

A reader just posted asking how Lori could be so hyper obsessed with modesty, when there are so many real problems like human rights issues, poverty, health care, etc.

Lori replied that the Bible didn't say anything about those issues (except, oh yes it did), but it had plenty to say about women being modest/chaste/discrete.  

Then she deleted both of their comments.  Did anyone happen to get a screen shot of that?

Hmmmmm a quick search shows....

Matthew 25:34-39; Proverbs 31:8-9; Deuteronomy 24:19-21 ;Zechariah 7:9; Jeremiah 22:3; Leviticus 19:10; Psalm 82:3-4; Psalm 68:5; Psalm 12:5; Psalm 10:17-18; Psalm 9:9; Psalm 146:7-9; Luke 11:42... Yep the Bible is totally silent about helping the poor and needy and justice for those oppressed (heavy sarcasm and eye-rolling) and that's not all of them. It helps I'm also writing a paper on Evil, Trauma, and God so I had those verses already pulled up. 

Are there verses on modesty? Yes, but they are more often connected with practicing self-control and seem to speak more about dressing in a way as to not alienate your poorer brothers and sisters, hence the gold and jewels. I see it as more spiritual modesty than physical. The verses regarding that subject are far fewer.  Chastity is applied to both genders in the Bible so there goes burdening only women with that one. 

[AlwaysDiscerning]

@Koala, No, I missed those! Darnit!!  Truly amazing.

[Sarah92]

Also, this whole only teaching women thing seems like a cop-out for answering tough questions regarding men. Someone asked if it was okay for men to expose their bodies and someone mentioned that Lori doesn't preach to men and only teaches women. You don't have to be preaching to men in order to form an opinion on something they are doing. That's like saying she can't talk about how its wrong for men to rape because she only teaches women. 

[usmcmom]

This is interesting. 

Spoiler

If you are on Instagram, go check out Lori's IG story.  She gives a tour of HER fridge.  She refers to it all as "My kefir, my salad dressing, my nuts, my lettuce, my chicken, my soup."  Everything in that fridge is what was included in her "Whar I eat" video.  None of it seems like food for Ken - not even lemonade.  It just seems so odd for someone who is supposed to be cooking all her husband's favorite meals each day.  It really makes it look like she lives alone.  Maybe Ken has his own fridge in the garage??  

 

[delphinium65]

35 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

 That's like saying she can't talk about how its wrong for men to rape because she only teaches women. 

Does she think it's really wrong for men to rape? Or is it excusable in her eyes because it's always the woman's fault? 

[Sarah92]

Just now, delphinium65 said:

Does she think it's really wrong for men to rape? Or is it excusable in her eyes because it's always the woman's fault? 

I'm guessing she does think its wrong for men to rape since she mentions sexual immorality and she does have an idea that men can be violent. I'm an optimistic realist so I hope that she is not so lost as to not give them a majority of the responsibility but I can also guess that she might be one of those people who ask questions like "why was she there in the first place? Why was she wearing such a short skirt?". But I don't really know. I wonder how she feels about the "me too" thing from Twitter. I personally love it. 

[delphinium65]

8 minutes ago, Sarah92 said:

I'm guessing she does think its wrong for men to rape since she mentions sexual immorality and she does have an idea that men can be violent. I'm an optimistic realist so I hope that she is not so lost as to not give them a majority of the responsibility but I can also guess that she might be one of those people who ask questions like "why was she there in the first place? Why was she wearing such a short skirt?". But I don't really know. I wonder how she feels about the "me too" thing from Twitter. I personally love it. 

 

True. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't actually approve, but I suspect she would place more blame on the woman for 'tempting' than on the man for raping her.  And you're right, she probably would say something like 'well, what did she expect, wearing <insert un-Lori-approved clothing here>?' But of course, we women are the ones who are weak and easily led astray.   

It hadn't occurred to me to wonder what she thinks about 'me too,' but now that it's come to mind I bet she'd say 'you women wouldn't be getting harassed and assaulted if you'd just STAY HOME like I tell you to according to God's perfect plan!'

[Sarah92]

3 minutes ago, delphinium65 said:

True. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't actually approve, but I suspect she would place more blame on the woman for 'tempting' than on the man for raping her.  And you're right, she probably would say something like 'well, what did she expect, wearing <insert un-Lori-approved clothing here>?' But of course, we women are the ones who are weak and easily led astray.   

It hadn't occurred to me to wonder what she thinks about 'me too,' but now that it's come to mind I bet she'd say 'you women wouldn't be getting harassed and assaulted if you'd just STAY HOME like I tell you to according to God's perfect plan!'

Women are weak and easily led astray but... men, who are the strong, logical leaders of the house cannot control themselves.  Something doesn't add up. 

Yes, good point! And all those women who are cat-called are probably dressing like prostitutes and temptresses. What business do they have outside the house anyway? Those girls wearing thong bathing suits are just wanting attention. 

[smittykins]

I seem to recall Phyllis Schlafly saying something like “Sexual harassment is rarely a problem for ‘virtuous women’”(probable translation: covered from head to toe, and in the kitchen).

[Koala]

Mmmkay, now I am picturing her furiously pouring over Freejinger, saying "ping...ping...ping" through clenched teeth.    That's not creepy at all 

I've always suspected she reads here, but now I am beginning to think she makes a day of it.  She has mentioned it several times here lately.