Lori Alexander 27: Deleting Bible Passages since 2017

[usmcmom]

11 minutes ago, feministxtian said:

It depends on the church. We attended CoC churches for awhile. One had no instrumental music, the other had a full band. There's two factions - instrumental and non-instrumental. I will say the singing in the non-instrumental churches was just gorgeous...effortless 4 part harmonies. 

My husband is third or fourth generation Church of Christ so when we started dating, I began attending church with him and it became "our" church after we were married. It is how we raised our children. When we told my grandma we attended a Church of Christ she said "Now, you're the ones with no instruments, right?"  

"Yes; that's us."

"Well I tell you what. You people sure can sing."   

I will always remember that line from her, especially when I hear a beautiful A Capella rendition of some of my favorite hymns. 

Side note: my Church of Christ Alma Mater has a tradition of the whole crowd singing the National Anthem at home basketball games - A Capella. It brings tears to my eyes every time someone posts in on YouTube. Sometimes I log in to the live chapel stream just to hear the singing. It really warms my heart. 

[Red Hair, Black Dress]

My knowledge of Protestant churches is rather limited other than growing up around lots of Baptists, Methodists, Pentecostals, Church of God, and various non-denominational fundies -- the kind where "Pastor" or "Brother" X decided to start up a church and usually had a 2nd job to make ends meet.

The kids I grew up with all belonged to churches that forbid dancing, drinking, rock n' roll, movies, smoking, card playing, gambling, swearing.  Some of the churches forbid TV too and one forbid women to cut their hair or wear jewelry -- even a wedding ring.  Of course most of the kids ignored all the prohibitions, but faithfully attended church twice on Sunday and Wed, night prayer meeting.  Lots of their parents drank and smoked, but did it in secret hoping no one would know.  One of my friend's parents kept their liquor under the kitchen sink hidden behind the cleaning products.  

As Catholic I was the sort of exotic non-Christian who looked normal like everyone else but who worshiped Mary and all the statues of saints, never read the Bible and whose "preacher" wore a "dress".  And, of course, there was the whole baby sacrifice thing (with pot luck dinner to follow).

I'm a cradle Catholic from a very long line of Catholics on my mother's side.  Daddy was a Methodist who converted on his own just after I was born (8 years into their marriage).  Mr Dress converted on his own (I never ever asked even once) when we'd been married about 7 years. My idea of music in a church has always been a pipe organ.

[desertvixen]

@usmcmom, I tend to clean as we go along, but I also have an open kitchen so it's not as bad.  I just can't relax if the dishes are piling up.  Not to mention the 2 kitchens I had where I had to keep doing dishes or I'd run out of kitchen!  (On-post housing)

Good story though: my stepfather's mom is one of the Southern ladies who feeds everyone way too much delicious food, then shoos everyone out and does all the cleaning.  Every time my mother would offer to help, she'd get waved off.  Cut forward to grandmother finally visiting my parents in their home, and trying to go in and do dishes, as my mom ushers her out with the whole "guests don't do dishes" line.

Not that I can see Lori doing dishes...

[delphinium65]

2 hours ago, Curious said:

 I don't picture "The Lord" being a slobby guy that expected women to follow him around picking up his messes.

 

According the Bible Jesus served his disciples by washing their feet. That doesn't sound like the kind of person to leave messes for someone else. Wonder if Aunt Lori has ever washed another person's feet?...actually I don't wonder, I'm pretty sure the answer is no. 

[onemama]

12 hours ago, delphinium65 said:

can't even think about reading anything from Dave. He's the one who said a woman has to obey her husband even if he commands her to help him molest their children. 

Dave certainly writes some of the worst I've encountered on a "Christian" site.  I feel for his poor wife and hope she can get away from him. He's one nasty piece of work. 

[onemama]

6 hours ago, usmcmom said:

Thirty years ago no Church of Christ member would have even had a DJ at their reception; let alone dancing. Certainly, there would be no alcohol. Now, most young couples are having it all. I am really thankful for those first young couples (and their parents) who said  "Forget church tradition, if we want beer and wine, we're having beer and wine."  It is really liberating to see some of these rigid standards disappear. 

 I've never understood this uptight attitude towards alcohol considering that Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding where he turned water into wine.

[RosyDaisy]

I never understood it either, and I attended a CoC until my early 20s. I left and never looked back. The only go to one for weddings and funerals.

[foreign fundie]

20 hours ago, louisa05 said:

 

I can't stand the thought of paying someone to do my nails.

 

And I got married at 37 and barely dated between college and then. I have not lived a life if fending off men. Caring a little about appearance does not mean you look like a fing super model and have lived a life of "hot girl " problems and romantic ease.

 

Let's not all make assumptions about each other.

 

You also make the very tired assumption that women who put effort into how they look only do so for the sake of men. Not true. Not at all.

 

On top of that why has it become a badge of honor for so many women to not care about how they present themselves? No one considers living in a hoarders nest a badge of honor. No one considers you smarter or more enlightened if you drove a filthy car. Why is not taking a little basic care of how you present yourself equal to how you present everything else?

 

And believe me, I don't spend hours on anything appearance related. Makeup is five minutes. Hair is about two. But taking the time to have good haircut isn't something that should be considered superficial and hassling off your own once a year with kitchen shears shouldn't make you a better person.

 

And once again, men don't really do this to each other.

Hi @louisa05 

As I made clear in the beginning, the post was responding to you and another person, who mentioned the nails and that she is happy her husband married her both for her looks and her character. So I am not suggesting woman only want to look good for men. I was just responding to the arguments in two posts, saying I agree with them and you are all great. 

So again, no one is calling you shallow or 'doing this to you' but if you insist on reading what was meant as a light hearted encouragement to another person as an offense to yourself, I will just leave it at that. 

[onemama]

Ay Lori, Lori, how about you let your followers live their lives? Maybe learn something from them? 

One woman wrote a very practical post pointing out the need for some women to work. Lori?

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 where is your trust in the Living God and His provision for us? There were so many “what if…?” statements and no “But God…!” I prefer to do the best that I can to obey what He has called me to do and leave the rest with Him, for if He takes care of the birds and flowers, He surely can take care of us.

Maybe he provided..... a job?  God provided grain for Ruth to glean from the fields and a kind field owner that kept an eye out for her and gave her extra grain. Had she sat around at home, homemaking, both she and her MIL would have gone hungry. 

Another reader says:

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giving up work is not an option for me. My husband has a back injury and simply cannot fully support us without my help, and he wishes for me to work part-time. 

Lori replies:

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I am sorry, (faithful reader), but if I were you, I would storm the gates of heaven daily and seek wisdom from the Lord to make a way to come home full time and change my husband’s mind for with Him nothing is impossible!

What if this job is God's provision for this woman and her family?  Do you even read her posts and let them sink in before writing your replies?  She's had a lot to say about the economy of her country, her family situation and the reasons why she works.  

Lori, if you can't even read the replies your followers post and actually try to understand them, you have no business mentoring them.  

Another commenter says:

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I worked and was a keeper at home! ........ And it was a happy home. 

And Lori replies:

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I am sure she (the woman's daughter) missed being with you full time since all children need and want their mothers home full time. 

Another Lori-gem, in response to a reader who says that it's fine to pursue an education in your spare time.

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This is what the Lord calls us to do besides teaching younger women: Well reported of for gitood works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work. (1 Timothy 5:10).

Ok, Lori, how many of those have you done?  Bring up children, with the nanny's help.  Have you lodged strangers?  Have you washed the saints' feet? (this is not lecturing people, mind, but actually serving them, doing a menial task for them). Have you relieved the afflicted?  meaning, have you actually gone out there and helped a person in need?   Have you diligently followed every good work?  Notice "writing a blog" is not on that list, and neither is "monitoring other women's lives". 

That list was used to help the church decide which widows over 60 should be supported by the church.  It's not a comprehensive list of things women are allowed/required to do, but you might give some of them a try, instead of peering through people's windows and photographing their unkempt homes.  Try doing something good for someone, for a change.  

[TeddyBonkers]

There's a fine line between trusting God and tempting God. If I remember my Sunday School lessons, Jesus was tempted by the devil to throw himself off the temple (AND the devil quoted Scripture!). Jesus countered with some Scripture of his own, "You shouldn't test the Lord, dummy".

So, yes, it's all well and good to trust God, but that doesn't mean you need to drive down a mountain in West Virginia blindfolded. Or if your children are going hungry, maybe trust that God is putting an opportunity for work in your path.

[smittykins]

7 hours ago, onemama said:

 I've never understood this uptight attitude towards alcohol considering that Jesus performed his first miracle at a wedding where he turned water into wine.

But, but...it was actually GRAPE JUICE! 

(at least according to Anna Duggar's father)

[Koala]

Lori:

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 we must discipline ourselves to be temperate in everything and not self-indulgent.

Also, Lori:

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We spent several months in Wisconsin this summer 

Good thing a vacation lasting "several months" isn't considered self-indulgent.  

We're going on vacation in two weeks, and though we've only planned to stay for a week, we'll probably end up staying to Christmas.    (Not really, because my husband has a job, and we have this funny thing about paying bills).

It's like she doesn't even realize how privileged and ridiculous she sounds.

She says:

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In order to find fresh food, once a week I would drive about 40 minutes to the nearest health food store 

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Then I would drive about fifteen minutes from there to a farm that sold grass-fed meats and pastured eggs.

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Later in the day, I would go to a local family-owned farm and pick up fresh cut lettuce, tomatoes, green peas and beans, cauliflower, broccoli, raspberries, corn, and other foods that were straight from their organic garden.

Lori, many of your readers couldn't afford the gas to drive 40 minutes here, 15 minutes there. The money you spent on gas alone, is probably what some of them have set aside for groceries (think of your reader who claims to live on a meager $9,000 a year).

These all day grocery marathons you go on?  They don't make you godly - they make you privileged.  Trying to twist it to make it seem like you do these things because you're holy, just makes you look silly.

[polecat]

On 8/25/2017 at 6:52 AM, louisa05 said:

On top of that why has it become a badge of honor for so many women to not care about how they present themselves? No one considers living in a hoarders nest a badge of honor. No one considers you smarter or more enlightened if you drove a filthy car. Why is not taking a little basic care of how you present yourself equal to how you present everything else?

1

Seriously though? 

Men don't have to do anything beyond show up clean and neat. I don't feel like it's necessary to wear makeup or create some elaborate hairstyle. I wash my hair and go. I sometimes wear a little mascara or lip stain. But nails? Contouring? Dye? Nah, too much effort, and it feels unnatural to me. That's not me "not taking a little basic care of how I present myself." That's me trying to meet someone else's beauty standards. 

For you, that's trying to meet your own standards. 

That's the difference. You wear makeup and do your hair and nails because those are your standards. That's fine. You do you.

If I were to do all that, I'd be trying to live up to someone else's (or society's) standards. That's a big fat no. I'm clean and neat. That's good enough. Why would I *need* to wear makeup, do nails, do hair, etc. to be good enough? (That's a serious question). Men don't do all that. I don't feel like I need to, either.

I realize you felt attacked, but no one actually attacked you. Tomboys and gender non-conforming women get shit on a ton in our society. We take a lot of crap from the time we're small -- bullied by girls, boys, and even adults. And the bullying continues through adulthood. We're often forced to take place in beauty rituals we don't like, understand or want. Some of the venting that has taken place on this thread has likely been done in response to that. It was not directed at women who are more conventionally feminine, nor was it intended as a direct attack on you. 

[SuperNova]

In todays post, Lori has a link to Thrive Market where for a "small yearly fee" you can buy discount organic food. Yeah. I went to their website and its $59.95. Does she realize how out of reach that is for many families? She goes on to shame women by adding, "Junk food isn’t that cheap either and cancer is a lot more expensive in the long run." So my choices are expensive food or cancer? Got it. She does offer the option of growing it all yourself which is great for families living in apartments.

She's definitely reading here because I didnt read the word "nourishing" once. Even when she tries to be helpful she turns it into a shitty lecture with no realistic options for working families.

[EowynW]

We long for the day where we are back on a few acres raising our own meat. We both grew up that war. But in the meantime, I shop meat sales, and just pray extra over my factory farmed stuff. This woman doesn't know shit about being tight on money. 

I have 17 cents in my bank account. I sold my extra knitting needles to my MIL in order to get some money to go buy some veggie plants for the fall garden to help us eat healthier. 

[louisa05]

Seriously though? 
Men don't have to do anything beyond show up clean and neat. I don't feel like it's necessary to wear makeup or create some elaborate hairstyle. I wash my hair and go. I sometimes wear a little mascara or lip stain. But nails? Contouring? Dye? Nah, too much effort, and it feels unnatural to me. That's not me "not taking a little basic care of how I present myself." That's me trying to meet someone else's beauty standards. 
For you, that's trying to meet your own standards. 
That's the difference. You wear makeup and do your hair and nails because those are your standards. That's fine. You do you.
If I were to do all that, I'd be trying to live up to someone else's (or society's) standards. That's a big fat no. I'm clean and neat. That's good enough. Why would I *need* to wear makeup, do nails, do hair, etc. to be good enough? (That's a serious question). Men don't do all that. I don't feel like I need to, either.
I realize you felt attacked, but no one actually attacked you. Tomboys and gender non-conforming women get shit on a ton in our society. We take a lot of crap from the time we're small -- bullied by girls, boys, and even adults. And the bullying continues through adulthood. We're often forced to take place in beauty rituals we don't like, understand or want. Some of the venting that has taken place on this thread has likely been done in response to that. It was not directed at women who are more conventionally feminine, nor was it intended as a direct attack on you. 

Well, I don't actually do my nails. Nor have I ever thought of contouring outside of putting theatre makeup on students.

What I have experienced all of my life is being told I can't possibly be smart and should not be taken seriously because I care even a little bit about appearance. And it is an attitude that is extremely pervasive among some women. I don't give a shit if you want your clothes not to fit or think that hacking off your own hair in your kitchen with sewing scissors is the way to be. But don't tell me it is because you have some special depth or are smarter. That is stupid as hell. And I've been listening to it for 20 years at least.

You missed my point outright which is that if your method of encouraging one person or group of people is to put down another person or group, you're doing it wrong. Saying that women who do or don't do whatever are more fill in a good character quality is essentially saying that the rest are lacking in that quality. Saying that women who do or don't do whatever will get better husbands reduces us to merely being in competition for men (and there are plenty of women at FJ not ever looking for men as well btw because not everyone is straight).

Here is how I encourage the women around me: you be who you are. Period. No more needs to be said. Because who you are doesn't have to be some competition or comparison to who I am. We can all have value, depth, intelligence and all of those good things no matter what our personal choices are.

[onemama]

Commenter:

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This is where my biggest problem lies. I end up getting resentful when I have to constantly pick up after my husband. I don’t mind doing all of the housework, but I feel that people that make careless messes and expect others to just throw their garbage away or pick their dirty clothes up off of the floor are totally inconsiderate. Surely we don’t want to enable this behavior and have to end up feeling exhausted and resentful in our efforts.

Lori's kind reply:

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God, the Creator of the universe, came to earth to suffer and die for your sins so you can live eternally but you grumble about picking up after your husband? Remember, you were created to be his help meet and a keeper at home! Praise the Lord that you have a husband to pick up after.

The conversation regarding working outside of home and not trusting God enough to provide:

commenter says:

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Lori, I don’t think you understand. Have you ever been in the situation where you literally CANNOT feed your children? Where they are hungry, and there is NO FOOD and no money to buy any? I have.
Have you been *that* close to being homeless because the rent hasn’t been paid, and you have little children? I have.
I have spent hours on my knees, in prayer, tears of desperation streaming down my face, broken and begging, but the money we needed didn’t magically fall from the sky. A job opened up for me, though. I took it.
It is IMPOSSIBLE for us to survive unless I work. I know this for a fact – I’ve tried. Yes, with God all things are possible. But sometimes God understand that all situations are different and sometimes, due to health reasons, or other circumstances beyond our control, the woman does need to work part-time, when her children are in school, so the needs (note I said “needs” not “wants) can be met. The Bible calls me to be a helpmeet to my husband. The best way for me to be a helpmeet to my incredible man is to help him to earn enough money to support our family, because injury renders him unable to do so.
God has given me (and my husband) complete peace with our decision for me to work part-time.

This is when Lori should admit to not knowing anything about this woman's situation, apologize for judging her and wish her all the best. But no, Lori must have the last word:

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I am instructed to teach younger women to be keepers at home so they won’t blaspheme the Word of God. Therefore, I will keep encouraging and teaching women to seek the Lord in prayer and ask for Him to find a way for them to be home full time where they belong. I want to trust God, His commands to us, and His promises more than I worry about obeying them.

“I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.” (Ps. 37:25)

 

I could slap her for that one.  Lori, I know the news are too harsh for your delicate self, but you might gain some understanding if you let yourself be hurt by them every now and then.  There are people starving out there, Lori. Children go to bed hungry. Families have lost their homes and their livelihoods to all sorts of disasters while you drive your cushy car to the whole foods market to buy expensive organic food.  Then you have the nerve to park your skinny arse on your cushy sofa in your holiday home and write posts about how others should trust God to provide for them.  When they share the details of their lives with you, you rebuke them.  You are a disgusting, whitewashed tomb, Lori. Too worried about your appearance to have time to extend your hands out and care for others. Too worried about your figure, your graying hairs, your pruney face and other people's homes to show any compassion to anyone around you.  You deserve any and all criticism that comes your way. You are heartless. 

[Florita]

This quote from Lori, a women who has never dead-headed a petunia and thinks canning is putting cucumber slices in leftover pickle juice:

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If all of these types of foods are too expensive for you, grow your own garden and plant fruit trees, then learn to can, dehydrate, freeze, and dehydrate the extra produce.

This is the size garden you need to feed a small family:

 

I'm exhausted looking at it.

[onemama]

3 minutes ago, Florita said:

This quote from Lori, a women who has never dead-headed a petunia and thinks canning is putting cucumber slices in leftover pickle juice:

This is the size garden you need to feed a small family:

 

I'm exhausted looking at it.

My neighbor has a vegetable garden. She spends a lot of the summer out there tending to it and in the fall, it's all canning, canning and canning some more.   

It can be done, but it's a job in itself and a lot of people don't have the space for it either. 

[EowynW]

12 minutes ago, onemama said:

My neighbor has a vegetable garden. She spends a lot of the summer out there tending to it and in the fall, it's all canning, canning and canning some more.   

It can be done, but it's a job in itself and a lot of people don't have the space for it either. 

The row method is old news. You can do a lot with a raised bed, containers or square foot gardening. Still a ton of work though. Mine wore me out. 

[Loveday]

@Florita that diagram looks exactly like the garden my grandfather started in the 1930s to feed his growing family (five children total). At that time he owned the lot next door as well, and grew strawberries and corn there. It was his victory garden in WWII, and he continued to work it for the next 40 years, until a couple of years before his death in the 1980s. It was a LOT of hard, time-consuming work, both for him and my grandma. But omg, the tomatoes, the green beans, the potatoes, the beets and turnips and cabbages and broccoli and asparagus...  *sigh*

Thanks for sending me down memory lane for just a moment! 

[lilwriter85]

Lori's post about driving around and buying food from different sources was a total brag post. I know people who do similar things to buy organic food from stores in nearby towns or from out of town farms. Yes, these people are upper middle class like Lori, but they understand that not everyone can afford to be driving around like they do for grocery shopping and they aren't bragging about their trips on blogs.

I know others myself included who try to shop organically and find it ways to do at a slightly cheaper price. Lori talked about driving 40 minutes to a health foods store. There are probably chain grocery stores(Safeways, Kroger etc) nearby her that have organic/health food and product sections. Usually the organic products are slightly cheaper than Whole Foods and other chain or independent organic/food health stores. Lori could have found some products nearby by at the ebil Safeways or whatever and saved some money/gas.  But, no she has to drive the speshul health food store 40 minutes away.

I'm not very familiar with the San Diego surburb where Lori lives. I was curious if there were any farmer's markets in Carlsbad. Based on what I found off of Google, there is a farmer's market that is held on Wednesdays. Lori could have some gas and just wait for Wednesdays to get her precious organic fruits and vegetables instead of driving out to the farms.

She has bragged about organic food in the past. Zsu Anderson did a series of similar blog posts regarding organic food years back and I remember Zsu claiming at one point her family didn't have health insurance because they felt they didn't need because they eat organic food. It was pointed years back that around that time Zsu was often blogging organic food  how her kids were often sick with colds and other minor illnesses which could have gotten worse.  Lori did a post a few years back about how her mother had some health issue many years ago and then started eating organic and didn't have health problems aftewards. We now know Lori's mother has cancer. Organic food isn't a magic bullet. Lori has health issues and maybe organic food has helped her a bit. But, it hasn't completely cured of her anything.

Lori is an out of touch moron. She recently told one of her fangirls that she should move to southern California to have year round access to fresh produce. Many of Lori's fangirls who are away from SoCal probably already have money issues and no way can many of them move to an expensive area.

Moron Lori doesn't consider the fact that not everyone can have gardens year round. Many people do their best in the summers/falls to garden and have fresh produce and can some of it. Sometimes there is only so much a person can do. Some people outside of California and other areas with fresh produce year round join co-ops which sometimes aren't that cheap. But, they do it for health and community reasons. I doubt Lori would ever join an organic food co-op mainly because many of them require that members do work hours at the co-ops and Queen Lori would think it's sinful to do a 2-3 hour shift each month or whatever time periods co-ops set in place.

Lori's post wasn't really about godly. It was being about a smug privileged housewife. Not all of her housewife fangirls are privileged like her. I truly hope many of her fangirls wise up and see that at the end day Lori doesn't have much in common with them. Not all upper middle class or wealth people are morons like Lori. Many people that have much more money than Lori actually fucking care about other people and they give to charities. Yes, many billionaires and millionaires are still wealthy after giving away money, but at least they are least giving back to others. Some very wealthy people might be doing it tax write offs or publicity, however I think people like Lori and Ken are worse in a way.  Lori and Ken have admitted to not tithing to churches and I think that is a sign that they might not be giving money to private charities or organizations. Lori then expects churches to always be helping out people.

 

[feministxtian]

Now, that I'm "semi-retired", I get mani/pedis regularly (but stopped during the great financial collapse of 2015). It started when my mother got sick, a way to feel pampered and to escape the horrible reality at home. I dress more "girly" now too...after years and years of jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes or work boots. Its just something that I now have the ability to enjoy. As I've gotten older, I've been more able to "embrace" my femininity...I'm no longer in a situation where I'm competing in the job market and knowing that "being girly" would count against me when it came to projects...I mean, hell yeah I want to get sent down to the waterfront to play on the big boats under construction...but, believe it or not, being "too girly" would immediately take you out of the selection process. So, jeans, t-shirts, tennis shoes, no make up was the order of the day. Now I have the time and desire to be more girly...won't change my fundamental enjoyment of turning wrenches on my car (gel manis don't get screwed up in an engine bay), football, hockey (can't wait to go to a Golden Knights game), or anything like that. 

But...here's the thing...everyone should be free to do themselves the way they want to do. Unfortunately, most women are catty and are always looking at other women and comparing themselves...it's shitty but...

[EowynW]

Ooooooooooh I miss pedis. Giving myself one just isn't the same. I'm hard on my feet. 

[feministxtian]

1 hour ago, EowynW said:

Ooooooooooh I miss pedis. Giving myself one just isn't the same. I'm hard on my feet. 

Treat yourself every once in a while...it's worth it! Just to sit and have someone's undivided attention for a bit. I know they're not cheap but man...it's the best 30 bucks I spend on myself. Fortunately, hubby happily "donates" to the "make mama feel better" fund. I do my eyebrows and stuff at home, but can't do the mani/pedi myself. And, since I wear sandals or flipflops 9 months out of the year here in the desert...yeah, the feets are out in the open. AND...now with the new bling, a mani is pretty much a necessity. The bling calls a lot of attention to my hands.